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Vito
09-07-2010, 06:06 PM
Let's remember to use fake names...


Mr. Van Dyke, my fifth grade teacher. Spanked, shoved, and intimidated two generations of male students at one of the elementary schools I attended. I hate this f***er!

Coach Sanchez, junior high school P.E. teacher. Short, extremely fat man, and not particularly athletic, so I could never understand how he ended up teaching P.E. If you brought a doctor's note from home excusing you from P.E. for a day or two, ol' Coach Sanchez would rip it up or crumble it into a ball and toss it into the trashcan, right before your eyes. I hate this f***er, too!

Dr. Jones. I was this guy's graduate assistant (an unpaid T.A.) for one semester during grad school. While grading the midterms and final exams, he would always remind me to "up" the letter grades of the attractive female students. (I wouldn't do it, but I'm guessing that he did it himself after I returned the tests to him). Also: Totally irresponsible, goof-off, lazy slob.

Yeshanu
09-07-2010, 07:35 PM
Mr. Anderson. Taught me Grade 13 Functions--two years in a row. Sat his late-teen students alphabetically in desks. Me, having a name beginning with "U," sat near the back. I'm short sighted, and prefer always a front desk, but I didn't have a choice.

Used the same lessons, with the same tired jokes, in exactly the same order, two years in a row.

Absolutely terrible teacher, though thankfully not as abusive as Mr. Van Dyke in Vito's post.

I found, after graduating from high school, that there was a correlation between how well I liked the teacher and how well I did in his or her class. The subject didn't matter. And except for Mr. Anderson, if I was stuck with a bad teacher, I had enough verbal skill to talk to the principal and get myself transferred. Once I even managed to change the teacher from bad to good! We were a horrible class, because she was a new teacher with absolutly no class control skills.

It got so bad she took a sick day, and we had a sub. Before class, we were discussing what we should do to "get" the sub, and I said, "Nothing. Why don't we behave ourselves, and make our regular teacher look like an idiot?" (Yeah, I can be mean. And yes, that was, unfortunately, my motive for the suggestion.)

We did it. And the teacher was sufficiently chastised that she changed her teaching. And we changed our response. And I had a great year in Grade 9 English. :D

JimmyB27
09-07-2010, 07:40 PM
My very first teacher told my mum off because I could already read when I started school. That set the bar pretty low.
My chemistry teacher for GCSE was a complete dick. He used to show us videos in class and, if we didn't reach the end, he'd start it from the beginning next lesson. Apparently he thought we were unable to keep any knowledge in our heads that long if it weren't concluded with credits... He once gave me a detention because I fell backwards off my stool trying to pick up my pen.

backslashbaby
09-07-2010, 11:23 PM
The teachers of my county's first 'Gifted' type program, who did not agree with that sort of distinction. My God they hated us. They berated us and cussed us out and told us if we told our parents we could expect worse treatment later.

They singled out students who forgot their homework for an evening and wouldn't let anyone sit by them at lunch. They encouraged us to berate those kids.

One teacher shoved a boy in the trashcan -- while calling him trash -- and threw his heavy metal desk and all his books on top. 4th grade.

If I ever hear "Y'all are supposed to be genuises?!" spoken again, I may just throw up on my shoes for nostalgia's sake.


Oh, and 2 professors in undergrad. Absolute bastards. The Dean took care of them well enough, but sometimes the bastardry is eye-popping.

Mr Flibble
09-08-2010, 01:28 AM
We always hoped not to get a certain Geography teacher after lunch. She always stank of gin.

Vito
09-08-2010, 01:35 AM
The teachers of my county's first 'Gifted' type program, who did not agree with that sort of distinction. My God they hated us. They berated us and cussed us out and told us if we told our parents we could expect worse treatment later.

They singled out students who forgot their homework for an evening and wouldn't let anyone sit by them at lunch. They encouraged us to berate those kids.

One teacher shoved a boy in the trashcan -- while calling him trash -- and threw his heavy metal desk and all his books on top. 4th grade.

If I ever hear "Y'all are supposed to be genuises?!" spoken again, I may just throw up on my shoes for nostalgia's sake.


The man listed in my original post above, "Mr. Van Dyke", was a teacher in the gifted program that I attended. All of the teachers that I had in that program were pretty terrible. On the one hand, they gave the students an incredible amount of academic freedom. We did very little bookwork, in fact none whatsoever during our 6th grade year, and were encouraged to express ourselves artistically, scientifically, mathematically, etc., as we liked. (It was very 1970s, that's for sure).

On the other hand, all three of the teachers were exceptionally hard on us discipline-wise. If the current disciplinary model for elementary teachers is "firm, fair, and consistent", the gifted-program teachers were "brutal, unfair, and arbitary".

Especially Mr. Van Dyke. He was scary! :e2thud:

backslashbaby
09-08-2010, 01:50 AM
Mine was in the 70's, early 80's! I think it might have been an old-school thing. God, they were scary.

They knew most of the parents were very/overly concerned about their kids' grades, so they'd also threaten to give us Fs easily and arbitrarily. They'd actually say, "What do you think your father will do to you when he sees that?"

Vito
09-08-2010, 02:00 AM
I think it might have been an old-school thing.

Great pun! :Thumbs:

kaitiepaige17
09-08-2010, 02:01 AM
Mr. Dumbass, I like to call him, would bring in his huge cello to English class and play it so vigorously that his third chin would flop up and smack him in the face while we were supposed to be learning something. Me and my fiance had the class together, and he called us Heathcliff and Catherine until the end of the school year, which everyone else in the class got a nasty kick out of....

Jessianodel
09-08-2010, 02:03 AM
Mr Xxxxxx. He was my Marine tech teacher. He was insane. Like, I don't know what was wrong with him, but he needed help. He never stopped talking about meaningless stuff (ex: his wife's back problems and aversion to shellfish. Yeah). Every example he ever gave was a pepperoni pizza, he treated us like three year olds. I can't even go into it. It doesn't sound that bad, but trust me. Something was wrong with him.

JoNightshade
09-08-2010, 02:07 AM
Mrs. Birch was my 7th grade English teacher. I was always a straight A student who went above and beyond for assignments I particularly liked. Good teachers always rewarded my creativity, even when I turned in something that wasn't quite according to specifications. Not Mrs. Birch. She told us to write a story and gave us a prompt. The story was to be about a bully. I turned the bully into a spaceship called "The Bully" by the worlds it terrorized. It was quite creative, I thought, and well done. I got a C, because my bully wasn't a human or a child. Even though her prompt made no specifications about what the bully's nature had to be. That sums up my experience of her entire class, although after that initial experience I learned to stay firmly "within the box."

Mr. Anderson was my high school speech teacher. Our speeches were graded based on some rubric he kept in his little head. Otherwise known as "what I feel like at the moment." He didn't like me much. It didn't matter what I did. How I improved. Anything. He took a student who enjoyed speaking in public and performing in front of classmates and turned me into a nervous wreck who feels like throwing up whenever she gets in front of more than a couple people. Oh, and he gave me the only B I ever got. Screw you, Mr. A.

WendyNYC
09-08-2010, 02:27 AM
Mr. Hogan. 7th grade math. Way to be a walking stereotype about the girls' innate lack of ability. He and Larry Summers would get along well. Luckily, I had Mr. Pyle in 8th grade math and he was great. I think the man truly believed that he could help *all* his students succeed.

KTC
09-08-2010, 02:31 AM
Grade 8 English teacher. Accused me in front of the classroom of plagiarism. Segregated me by myself in the library to come up with a replacement poem...after I read the original and she told me I cheated and copied it from somewhere. Gave me 5 minutes and made me read the replacement in front of the class too. Part of the mark was oral presentation. After i read the replacement, she walked up to the front of the class, grabbed it from my hand, rolled it into a ball and threw it in the garbage. Then she called me a cheater. I got a zero.

Mrs. LaFrance. She killed poetry for me FOR YEARS. I hated her for it. bitch.

LilliCray
09-08-2010, 02:51 AM
Now THIS is my kind of thread.

This is my third year in a row being stuck with the following two teachers:

Ms. Icarus: Right. She runs the "honors" language arts program at my school (it's really a writing-based class, not a traditional English class, with contemporary literature reading every so often.)

This is the ONLY teacher I have ever had who hates me. Ever. I have never had a teacher not love me, even if I didn't particularly like them, and I think it's because she doesn't like opinions. I am very opinionated about writing, and heartily disagreed with many of the things we were forced to read in Stephen King's On Writing (which was a decent read, but a lot of it set my teeth on edge). I voiced these opinions. This led her to brand me as a "negative" person. She actually took me out of (not her own, a different) class to talk to me about it. My biggest problem with her?

She lets the class read graphic novels for class.

Yeah. Hi. "College-level" course here. Not saying graphic novels can't be, like, smart reads or whatever, but "college-level course" generally implies we read stories told by actual words, not pictures. And she simply can't understand why I'm so opposed to it.

Also, Ms. Witter: Rudest. Teacher. Ever. Oh my gosh. She teaches my Japanese class, and there is no single student that likes her. Everyone despises her. She has a habit of mocking anyone whenever they don't understand something--which, considering her teaching skills, is 90% of the time. (This is one of those teachers who loves me, despite me hating her. Not sure how that happened. I think it's 'cause I understand a lot of Japanese despite the way she supposedly teaches us.)

Seriously. She couldn't explain her way out of a teacup.

ETA: Ouch, KTC. That's terrible...

CACTUSWENDY
09-08-2010, 03:54 AM
True story.

I will call him Mr. X. He had been in teaching for years and years. In my junior American history class I did real well grade wise. A friend that had this teacher the year before told me a secret. I applied it and made A's and B's the whole year.

The secret.....because I was female, was to sit with my legs crossed at the knees. Mr. X had the desks in a horseshoe two rows deep. Girls in first row, guys in second row. (He must have been a leg man.) He also loved to assign tons of busy hand written work. She told me to start the first couple of sentences with what ever topic was assigned. From there on to just write junk. Nursery rhymes....the Lords prayer.....anything...for the number of pages he wanted.

At the end of the year I finally told my mom about it. (She was with the PTA) She could not believe it until I showed her some of my papers with A's on them.

His tests were always on whatever he taught in class....so tests were no problem.

caromora
09-08-2010, 04:51 AM
My 9th grade health teacher ALWAYS had the pretty girls sit in the front of the class, and would very obviously hit on them. When we hit the sex ed of health, he spent an entire class period detailing the male erection and what it felt like to have an orgasm.

11th grade chem teacher didn't like me for some reason. If she knew I was having problems with something, she would always call on me. One day I got tired of her attitude and walked out of class. She called my mother and told her she thought I had emotional problems and was possibly mentally retarded--her exact words. This was an AP chem class, and I was an A student at the time. The summer after I took her class, she saw me walking on a 100+ degree day after my car had broken down. She pulled up next to me and asked if I needed a ride. When I said yes, she peeled away from the curb, laughing. That was in the late 90s or early 2000s, and I'm still pissed off about it.

Neurotic
09-08-2010, 05:11 AM
I had a few teachers I really disliked, or I thought really disliked me. Maybe a few of them even did. But looking back. I think a lot of my problems with them came from me being a slightly above average student who could have done much, much better if I didn't slack off so much. They'd tell me off for talking, but leave alone the other people in the conversation, I'd get A's for my work but B's or C's for effort, or less acknowledgment for an actual achievement than someone who didn't do so well but 'tried really hard'. Small stuff, really. Some of these other teachers in this thread sound almost psychotic.

Silver King
09-08-2010, 05:29 AM
My fondest memory from high school:

One student, who'd been picked on incessantly by an instructor, stood up one day and punched the teacher in the mouth. The man flew back and hit his head on the chalkboard and crumpled to the floor. It was a surreal moment. No one said a word or even moved. We held our breath as the boy simply turned and walked out the door.

It must have been a life-changing experience for the teacher. When he returned to the classroom some days later, he was a different person, soft spoken, with none of the cockiness nor disrespect he'd shown students in the past.

That's what it takes sometimes for assholes, one good sock in the jaw to straighten them out.

KyraDune
09-08-2010, 06:32 AM
My second grade teacher who insisted I couldn't possibly read as well as I did and I must have had the books memorized. Even after she had me read the newspaper. Twat.

Xelebes
09-08-2010, 07:25 AM
This one substitute teacher I had throughout junior high and high school who was the Ed Wood of teachers. Yes, he was one of those teachers who was wooden, bumbling, rambling, had constant costume mishaps and would occasionally have himself misframed with a mic boom threatening to knock his head. Ok that last one was only included for metaphor sakes.

I had a grade 7 and 8 science teacher who spent class telling tall tales from his supposed time as a park ranger in Waterton Park. The only benefit I could think of is that no two tall tales were ever the same.

Then there was the mathematicaster that was my grade 10 math teacher. Spent every day in his class correcting his mistakes. I even threw insults at him in hopes that he might rehearse to himself basic math skills but he took them apologetically and continued to blunder his way through the lecture.

Grade 8 shop teacher - a loud, abrasive man. That's pretty much what he was. Loud and abrasive. Can't actually think of anything else to say of him.

Grade 10 teacher - known as the Nutcracker. Dull as a bag of bricks and walked like a Nutcracker.

Elementary principal - persistently absent, persistently abusive to staff, students and the students' parents. This guy didn't suck, he was just awful.

Grade 7 social studies teacher - a nice guy but he was on a path to nervous breakdown with him being out of his league. Absolutely no control of the classroom with fistfights constantly breaking out in the middle of lecture. I felt sorry for him. He was also my grade 7 shop teacher - a very good teacher in that field, though.

Matera the Mad
09-08-2010, 12:30 PM
Mrs. Waldron. Fucking bi7ch fourth grade dickhead bully. Had it in for me for moving to her school in mid-year. Good teacher at former scholl warned us about her. I fart in the general direction of her grave.

kayleamay
09-08-2010, 12:34 PM
Mrs. H, third grade. Told the whole class I was a liar because I said my brother was 6'4". She told them she'd met my brother and he wasn't even 6 feet tall. Biddy didn't realize I had four brothers and the one she met was the youngest.

Priene
09-08-2010, 01:50 PM
Mr Evillo di Fascisti, my old gym teacher. I don't think I need to say any more.

Mr Flibble
09-08-2010, 02:24 PM
Mr Evillo di Fascisti, my old gym teacher. I don't think I need to say any more.

Sounds like my Old Man's gym teacher. Apparently he used to give the choice of detention or a dead leg. And he wasn't the worst...

Guardian
09-08-2010, 02:49 PM
Ms. Mustardhead who had a mental breakdown every other day. She couldn't tolerate any noise at all during a study hall. One minute she was saying, "I'm going to miss you all" and the next she'd be yelling, "I can't wait until this quarter ends! You're all terrible!" I used to write horror stories in her class and she once asked me over to her desk in the middle of class and asked if I was receiving psychiatric help.

Mr. Bell just sucked in the way he taught. He used overly extensive metaphors for everything. Anytime I asked him a question that should have been straightforward, he would launch into an entirely new metaphor that had nothing to do with what I wanted to know. I had a terrible year when I was in his class but he refused to help me at all, despite claiming the contrary. The only people he helped were the ones he liked, and they already understood the material. He claimed he couldn't explain anything to me because he had other people who needed help. Which was bull. THEN he finally realized that if he answered just one or two questions, I would understand. DUH. After that he told me I could ask for help anytime. Bull. On top of that, he never told us when labs were due to be passed in. The only time he told us was when our labs were late. I got my worst ever grade in that class.

Mr. Douche was a teacher for only a short time, and I had him as a teacher for an even shorter amount of time. I didn't think much of him then, because that class just threw us on these teaching games that were terrible. Later when I was dating my first girlfriend, he was harassing her to dump me because she was going to turn eighteen over the summer and I would be too young for her. Understandable, if douchey, but we still had months left and he made her cry because he kept threatening to report her to her parents as a pedophile or some shit. He ended his teaching career that year. Why? He was caught having sex with one of his students.

Cliff Face
09-08-2010, 02:54 PM
I'll play.

Year 8 (first year of High School in Aus, not sure about elsewhere) - art teacher, Mr. Thinks-He's-Funny. Second class we had, he spent the entire hour drawing on the whiteboard caricatures of the students. As in, kids with slightly sticking out ears would suddenly look like dumbo, all the girls who had started to develop looked like Betty Boop... etc. Totally disrespectful to a class of kids who didn't know what to expect from High School.

Year 9 - another art teacher. Mr. Elvis. He was obsessed with Elvis. Seriously. Even had the hair. That year, we did a competition (either 40-Hour Famine or Book-reading Month or something, can't quite remember it). I did a little above average, and for all the money I raised I received a present of a mousepad with Bugs Bunny on it. During the "ceremony" to receive our prizes, I walked up, received my mousepad, shook this guy's hand, even though I didn't like him already, and turned to leave. He said, in a loud, patronising voice, "It's polite to thank someone when they give you something." All I could think was, "I earned this fucking mousepad. You didn't buy it for me. You didn't go to the shop to pick it up. You just got assigned the task of handing things out to students. You're like the baggage handler who wants passengers to thank him for a safe flight!"

From that moment on, this teacher harrassed me at lunch and recess - if he saw me, he'd call out to me, say hi, whatever, then patronise me. After a year of that I started ignoring him. After a year of ignoring him, one day when we passed on the stairs and he said "Hi" and I still ignored him, our daily little fuckfest, he said, "It's polite to respond to someone when they say hello." Next day he pulled me out of class to yell at me for being rude. All I could say was, "Don't you get it? I don't like you!"

I got a detention. Next week, he was at it again, trying to talk to me whenever he saw me, me ignoring him. Bane of my High School years. Before I had started ignoring him, back when I just sucked it up and let him talk to me, he was always mildly rude, too inquisitive, accusatory and generally delighting in ruining my lunch. Total bastard in a very subtle way.

One day I told him, "I don't like you. The people in that class in there? Not one of them likes you. Just leave me alone." He still hassled me at lunch the next day. *shrug* Maybe that's why I don't like Elvis?



I seem to have had awful art teachers in my time. I'm currently doing an Arts Degree (part time) and my Politics teacher doesn't actually teach us anything in class, just hands us stacks of paper to read at home. I asked her a few questions about one of the handouts, and she said she'd have to look into it. Totally doesn't know her stuff.

*sigh*

Now where's that "Good teachers" thread? I need to lift my spirits!

(Oh, and I almost forgot my Reception teacher [Year 0, basically, though more advanced than Pre-School] who refused to believe I had broken my arm when I fell off the jungle gym the day before school holidays. When I came back after 2 weeks, I showed her my cast, and to her credit she was apologetic. But still - a 5-year old falls off a jungle gym, and you just resume class like nothing happened? Pfft.)

thethinker42
09-08-2010, 03:11 PM
Oh Lord, this is going to give me flashbacks. None of it is as bad as what some of the rest of you put up with (KTC, I'd have kicked her ass), but it wasn't pleasant.

I had some doozies, but the one that's always stuck out in my mind was my 7th grade gym teacher, Mrs. B. She was generally a bitch anyway, but the worst thing for me was that she didn't think cramps were a valid reason for any of the girls to get out of step aerobics, wrestling, or the weekly 1.5 mile run. I had not-yet-diagnosed endometriosis. Do the math.

Priene
09-08-2010, 03:21 PM
I had not-yet-diagnosed endometriosis.

I used to regularly get called a malingerer. Turns out I had potato allergy.

thethinker42
09-08-2010, 03:32 PM
I used to regularly get called a malingerer. Turns out I had potato allergy.

Ugh, fun times. (I have a potato allergy too...I feel your pain)

Cliff Face
09-08-2010, 03:42 PM
I couldn't live without potatoes.

thethinker42
09-08-2010, 03:47 PM
I couldn't live without potatoes.

It sucks, but when it means the difference between breathing and not, you learn to make do. I had actually grown out of my allergy for a while, but it seems to be developing again. Dammit. No more potatoes for me. :cry: