The Love Connection

Silent Rob · Aug 25, 2010

Today is my lady's birthday and I will consequently be treating her right.

But just exactly how right should I treat her? You decide.

FULL DESCRIPTION OF SURVEY OPTIONS:

1. Don a rhinestone encrusted jumpsuit and a chest wig and serenade her with a medley of Barry White classics

2. Cover my torso with premium olive oil and treat her to an hour long 'gun' show (with optional 'Firefighter of 2010' video in case this fails to impress her)

3. Set her up with her own AW account and embark on an orgy of posting that will only end when we are both sated

4. Perform an interpretive dance, likening myself to Orlando Bloom and her to an eggplant

Caitlin Black · Aug 25, 2010

You can't go past a lady-like eggplant.

Or maybe that's just me?

alleycat · Aug 25, 2010

I think you can forget No. 3 now, since you've likened her to an eggplant here. It wouldn't be good if she saw that.

I don't really see any good options. I think the premium olive oil might offer some possibilities, but not the one you suggested.

I could tell you what I got a certain young lady for a treat a couple of weeks ago, but I'd have to do that by private message.

Caitlin Black · Aug 25, 2010

alleycat said:
I could tell you what I got a certain young lady for a treat a couple of weeks ago, but I'd have to do that by private message.

The complete collection of The Nanny on DVD in Spanish?

Silent Rob · Aug 25, 2010

You disgust me.

alleycat · Aug 25, 2010

Why don't you get her a cucumber. At least she can do something with that . . . after she kicks you out the door.

Silent Rob · Aug 25, 2010

I can work with that. If I also got her some tomatoes and a lettuce I could make a nice salad so she doesn't get hungry after kicking me out the door.

Good thinking, AC.

Caitlin Black · Aug 25, 2010

Hey, a girl's gotta eat, right?

Just another reason for the eggplant.

Silent Rob · Aug 25, 2010

Exactly.

I should clarify option no. 4. I don't think my lady looks like an eggplant. She is far more beautiful than an eggplant.

The first thing I'm going to do when I get back from work is tell her exactly that.

alleycat · Aug 25, 2010

Silent Rob said:
Exactly.

I should clarify option no. 4. I don't think my lady looks like an eggplant. She is far more beautiful than an eggplant.

The first thing I'm going to do when I get back from work is tell her exactly that.

Write a poem. I'll get you started.

Behold, I raise my glass
to your quite shapely ass
For never once did I see
An eggplant as lovely as thee

Needs a little work. Or . . . a lot of work.

Button · Aug 25, 2010

Number one.

And pics or it didn't happen.

Silent Rob · Aug 25, 2010

ButtonTheCat said:
Number one.

And pics or it didn't happen.

KellyAssauer said:
I'd go for number four,
with the stipulation that
you'll have to do it in proper English drag.

I could probably combine these in some way, making sure to switch from a Barry White baritone to a drag style falsetto at the appropriate point.

shyne · Aug 25, 2010

alleycat said:
Write a poem. I'll get you started.

Behold, I raise my glass
to your quite shapely ass
For never once did I see
An eggplant as lovely as thee

Needs a little work. Or . . . a lot of work.

Like the bright stars in the sky have shown
Your eyes bedazzle me like jumpsuit rhinestones
Melt in my embrace and faint not
While you run your fingers through my manly chest smock

Silent Rob · Aug 25, 2010

shyne said:
Like the bright stars in the sky have shown
Your eyes bedazzle me like jumpsuit rhinestones
Melt in my embrace and faint not
While you run your fingers through my manly chest smock

You had me at rhinestones.

KellyAssauer said:
That, and some of the premium olive oil...

You've done this before. I can tell.

KellyAssauer · Aug 25, 2010

Is this before, or after her special Birthday Dinner?

Silent Rob · Aug 25, 2010

Wrong, wrong, wrong!

rhymegirl · Aug 25, 2010

alleycat said:
I could tell you what I got a certain young lady for a treat a couple of weeks ago, but I'd have to do that by private message.

Ooh, I'm really curious now.

Was it roast rabbit?

rhymegirl · Aug 25, 2010

Silent Rob said:
The first thing I'm going to do when I get back from work is tell her exactly that.

Aw. Now that would be a lovely present to tell her she's lovely. Women love that.

rhymegirl · Aug 25, 2010

KellyAssauer said:
I finally have the cupcakes done:

Mmmm. Those look good enough to eat.

Shadow_Ferret · Aug 25, 2010

I find that just remembering it's their birthday is often present enough.

shyne · Aug 25, 2010

KellyAssauer said:
I finally have the cupcakes done:

Silent Rob · Aug 25, 2010

KellyAssauer said:
I finally have the cupcakes done:

Wouldn't that be like cannibalism and stuff?

Guardian · Aug 25, 2010

5. Both of you don muppet suits and chase each other down the street

Guardian · Aug 25, 2010

Awww I found a picture of Rob and his girlfriend. ^^

Silent Rob · Aug 25, 2010

Guardian said:
5. Both of you don muppet suits and chase each other down the street

No, I think it should be something special. We do that everyday.

The Love Connection

How to treat a lady right

Rhinestone encrusted jumpsuit and chest wig

Premium Olive Oil

AW Posting Orgy

Orlando Bloom and an Eggplant

Riff-Raff

Wild one

Still around

Wild one

Riff-Raff

Still around

Riff-Raff

Wild one

Riff-Raff

Still around

Resident in Question

Riff-Raff

At your service

Riff-Raff

The Anti-Magdalene

Riff-Raff

It's a New Year!

It's a New Year!

It's a New Year!

Court Jester

At your service

Riff-Raff

just the worst honestly

just the worst honestly

Riff-Raff