View Full Version : Query Beta Read

08-23-2010, 10:11 AM
I was thinking of asking you guys to read my agent submisson query, to help me make it presentable. I'm not sure if this goes here, I apoligise if it dosen't.

My Query:

The day is September 22, the date is the near future. The setting is California, and the story is of the aftermath of a major disaster. This is my book, my story, this is Aftermath.
An earthquake hits California, not a normal earthquake, but a big one. Large enough to displace everything, from homes and schools, hospitals and police stations, nothing is left standing. The state turns to anarchy. The government is gone, the economy is gone, the infrastructure of the state of California is shattered, but people still remain.
Years pass. The survivors do what they have to in order to remain alive, they try to rebuild society the best they can. They build homes for themselves using whatever they can salvage in the ruins of California, fortify themselves in communities they create for themselves and their families.
The world has changed. People have become wild, brutal to one another. Even though many of the survivors aim to rebuild the world as it once was, many more fight against them.
My novel is designed to captivate people. It isn’t boring in any sense, it’s filled from cover to cover with well thought out action sequences that keep the reader entertained while driving the story forward. The story itself is about much more than just action and violence. It brings up important cultural and philosophical concepts, dealing with everything from life and death, to fear and negligence, and love and abuse. Although the story has a clear protagonist and antagonist, these characters aren’t presented in a cliché way. All characters are people first; no person is presented as an embodiment of good or evil, everybody serves their own purpose in their lives, not the purpose of the story. In this way Aftermath’s characters serve the story all the more for it.
That is what my story is about. It’s a tale of survival, struggle against the suffering in the world and the weakness in people.
My name is Christopher Pearson. I am a college student, working towards my English Major with the goal of becoming a teacher. I have written this story, counting in at around 98,000 words. I have edited this story, not once or twice, but as many times as it took for the story to be complete in my eyes. I have worked long and hard to make it clean, clear, and professionally feasible. This novel is the child of many hours of careful planning, review, and scrutinization. I can honestly tell you that it is ready for review by professionals in the writing industry.
If you are interested, I can be contacted at (E-Mail). Thank you for considering my work.

08-23-2010, 10:44 AM
it belongs in query letter hell. here's the link to that thread:


the password is vista.