View Full Version : Beta Reader needed: 60000 word Romantic Suspense

08-10-2010, 03:29 AM
I'm in need of a beta to give me an honest and objective final read-through of a completed romantic suspense.

I'm an experienced writer (with an almost completed BA in Creative Writing, and minors in Non-fiction Writing and Psychology) who has an incredibly thick skin--especially when it comes to my writing. I have been writing seriously for 10 years, and professionally (non-fiction, though I do have several short fiction pieces published) for 5.

My novel includes characters that are FBI profilers and psychologists. They are hot on the trail of a murderer (victims are teen girls and young women) but do not know that one of their own people is after them! I have pared down or glossed over most of the graphic parts (it was originally 90K and very detailed but I've cut it to fit HQN's category lines and think it flows better).

What I am looking for is someone familiar with Rom-Suspense to tell me if it flows, if the characters are consistent, and if there are any typos that my thousand read-throughs have missed.

A line-by-line isn't necessary. I would also be more than willing to do a read-through for someone in exchange--provided it was in the same genre.

I am looking for someone who has the time to read it relatively quickly as I am wanting (hopefully) to start the submission to (the excerpt was at one time in SYW).

10-20-2010, 07:48 AM
Nice work. It does flow -- pretty nicely in fact. I really enjoyed it. I had a few stumbles getting started, but that's normal for me. If the rest of the book is this good, it's a winner. Here's a little feedback that might help:

1. There may be a few typos, but I'm not sure. I tripped up a few times and thought they were, but blasted through, so maybe not.

2. In the beginning, the dialog interspersed with narrative is a bit hard to follow. I found myself going back to the previous quote to keep up with the conversation. But that only happened a few times.

3. Maybe add an inch or two to her height so that does draw undue attention. Although, I'm sure it's fine as is. I don't know heights very well, so I just wondered about that.

4. 40' hole? Wow! How did he dig it? It would take an earthmover a week. And would that attract attention, not to mention pulling the proper permits would leave an evidence trail. Not a big criticism, but it struck me as monumental. And how big would the opening diameter be at sixty degrees? I thought I read thirty feet, but that didn't seem right. I'd have to do the math...or maybe you already did...

I'd be happy to beta-swap, but my mss is historical fiction. If you can tolerate hog slaughtering and hillbillies, we might be able to work together. Give it some thought... :)