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amlptj
07-22-2010, 10:17 PM
I'm an only child... so i'm having trouble with this.

I have a character, her brother is 4 years older then her and they quite literally hate eachother. This goes far beyond sibling rivery. I'm talking about real hate! Only met one girl who actually had this realtionship with her brother in real life.. so anyone else actually hate an older sibling with a passion?

If so help me out and tell me some instances where he/she tried to ruin your life because being siblingless i'm having a hard time coming up with things that are belivable. So if you dont mind reliving your childhood what things did your older sibling do to you that you'll never forget or forgive?

backslashbaby
07-22-2010, 10:33 PM
I have a younger brother who acts like I'm a child whom I've hated at times. He made fun of my nerve disease and said I only got it because I was weak. He laughed at me when he made me cry. He told me that even if I got into Oxford, I'd still never get a good job. He has a problem being foul and ridiculously critical (although he's better on that now).

My older sister used to intercept calls from guys I liked and make up horrible stories to tell them. I don't know if that one is helpful now with cellphones, but I could easily see a mean older brother doing that.

A friend's older brother walked down to our gradeschool and made fun of us for talking about bras on the phone. That was mortifying, lol!

amlptj
07-22-2010, 10:37 PM
hahahahah thanks!

Snowstorm
07-22-2010, 10:42 PM
I have a younger brother who, after our stepdad died, borrowed a lot of money from Mom when she received his life insurance benefits. He, his wife, and his three kids haven't contacted her since. That was nine years ago.

Poor Mom gets so upset and weeps because she doesn't know what she did to them to deserve being ignored by them. Mom doesn't say anything bad about anybody, does the right thing, helps out others when she can, as is just an all-around kind soul and this m**********r treats her like this.

He's an egotistical a** and this is how he treats his mother!? We live in different states, and if he ever shows up after Mom dies, it'll be all my sisters and I can do to not beat the shit out of him.

amlptj
07-22-2010, 10:45 PM
Wow... i'm sorry about what happened. That's really horrible!

dirtsider
07-22-2010, 11:22 PM
I do have an older brother but I don't hate him. So I can't help you there, sorry. Yeah, he could be annoying but that's normal. He's definitely better about things now. When we were growing up, I think he was rebelling against being the only boy with 3 sisters.

DeleyanLee
07-22-2010, 11:31 PM
I am the older sibling that's hated, so I have a different take on the situation but I can address what kids will do.

1. Do something at home that is guaranteed trouble and arrange it so the sib is the one there when parents come home. (get into things, break things, lie, etc.) This continued into adulthood, FWIW, and only got nastier as time went on.

2. Invite people sib can't stand to their birthday/slumber/whatever parties and get Mom's OK on it.

3. Trash/hide/forge/otherwise alter important homework assignments and/or reports.

4. Nasty things in their bed. Particularly living things that won't wiggle too much and draw attention to themselves. (This was one of my revenges when lil' sis pissed me off too badly--grasshoppers worked really well, in the right season.)

5. All their underwear (slightly dampened) in the freezer.

6. A vial of food coloring left in the washing machine when you know they're the next one who will be using it (needs very careful timing)


That's what I can remember off the top of my head. And, no, we still don't get along to this day and we're both in our late 40's.

Ms Hollands
07-22-2010, 11:34 PM
I had two older brothers, and the one just a few years older than me was someone I really, truly hated when I was growing up. We're fine now, but he was one of those overactive kids, and being the younger sister, I was the one he used to take his energy out on. This could be by pointing his finger right next to my eye from the chair next to me, and when I complained and my mum would say to stop it, he'd say "I'm not even touching her!" as if I was the one at fault. He used to turn the TV on before school and get me in as much trouble as him. He knew my weaknesses and he knew how to get to me. He would steal my easter eggs. He wouldn't let me play with his macarno set even if he wasn't using it. He'd cheat at Monopoly so he'd win every time. He'd play hide and seek outside, then when it was his turn to hide, he'd go inside and leave my and anyone else in the street hunting for him for ages. He hassled my parents into getting a drum kit because I played the piano: he only ever 'practiced' when I was trying to play the piano (he was in the next room). He made me be his partner in crime when nobody else would through means of force (normally involving him threatening to do something then make it look like I did it) and he was emotionally and physically draining to be around. He'd tease me if I fell over and laugh heartily. He was not a loving brother. How's that for starters?

As I say, as adults, we're fine now - we were very close in young adulthood, but less close now that I live on the other side of the world. It was only after we'd grown up that my mum realised I really wasn't as naughty as he was because he had a way of making everything seem my fault and I was never able to explain this as a child. I guess that's really why I hated him. I can't tell you how many times I screamed at him that I hated him. He'd just laugh and tease me more.

shadowwalker
07-23-2010, 01:37 AM
Does an older sister count? I have one that I idolized when young (she's 13 years older) - she loved to poke fun at everything I said, thought, or did. So typical sibling behavior there. As an adult, however, she turned out to be very manipulative and greedy. After I took care of my mother for several years, my sister convinced my brothers that I had stolen my mother's money so they took my name off mom's accounts. Then when my mother was in the nursing home with dementia, she convinced my mom to hand over all her jewelry (not expensive, just sentimental value) - this after my mom had given me her jewelry a couple years before (while still in her right mind) and my sister raised such hell about it that mom asked me to give it back just to get my sister off her back (which I did).

Today my sister and I don't speak or keep in touch at all. I only found out she'd gotten married (for the 3rd time) because she keeps in touch with my son (who stands to inherit the family home when I die). I don't even know what her married name is.

backslashbaby
07-23-2010, 03:11 AM
Oooh, I remembered another one my sister used to do that could work for a brother. When my friends would visit, she would always abuse smalltalking with one of them and play some sort of ill-treated victim. Of course, I was supposed to have done awful things to her.

She would also compliment them, etc, and usually manage to get one friend totally away from and against me (usually a new friend who didn't know me well yet). She'd tell her that the other girls were laughing at her. Then she and the girl would start wars, pelting the rest of us with ice cubes and things and calling us mean names. Seriously!

Yeah, my sibs didn't tend to like family members very much. I swear they would've kicked the dog too if we'd had one.

Paul
07-23-2010, 03:13 AM
I have a younger brother who, after our stepdad died, borrowed a lot of money from Mom when she received his life insurance benefits. He, his wife, and his three kids haven't contacted her since. That was nine years ago.

Poor Mom gets so upset and weeps because she doesn't know what she did to them to deserve being ignored by them. Mom doesn't say anything bad about anybody, does the right thing, helps out others when she can, as is just an all-around kind soul and this m**********r treats her like this.

He's an egotistical a** and this is how he treats his mother!? We live in different states, and if he ever shows up after Mom dies, it'll be all my sisters and I can do to not beat the shit out of him.

i was gonna mention being told there way no Santa, but sheez...

imsleepy
07-23-2010, 11:30 PM
I have an older brother and an older sister that I hate, far beyond sibling rivalry. My brother is 5 years older than me, and when I was 11, he started doing drugs. He stole from me, and from everyone in my family to support his addiction. He made my mom cry too many times for me to ever respect him again. He would start fights all the time, with my mom or with me, yelling and hitting, until the whole house was in hysterics. He lived with my mom until he was 26, he had been out of rehab since he was 18. He worked as a newspaper delivery guy, so his car was extremely important. When it would break down, he would not get it fixed, he would just steal my mom's car, which would be ruined, by the time he got back: cigarette burns, ashes, and newspaper ink on EVERYTHING, not to mention the wear and tear on the vehicle from driving it constantly at night. He would keep stealing her car at night until she finally payed for his to be fixed. The same was true of the apartment she lived in with him, it was ruined. He would smoke in there, as much as she tried to stop him, and throw his cigarette butts on the carpet. He would lay in bed at night before work, and smoke cigarettes and drop them on the mattress which would light on fire and fill the house with smoke. Oh, did I mention his 4 year old son would sleep in the same bed as him?

I guess what I'm saying is it takes a lot more than just treating me badly for me to hate my siblings. I have to watch them hurt my mother and their kids for me to hate them beyond sibling rivalry. My brother is a deadbeat, and a selfish, careless, moral-less drug addict.

The reason I hate my sister is a little less intense, she upset my mom a lot, and she likes to fight and argue a lot. When we were kids, she would hit my mom until she got what she wanted. When she was a teen and i was a preteen, we shared the same room, and she would kick me out of it, make me sleep in the living room (which was scary!) so that she could have boys sneak in the window after our parents went to bed. When we were both teens, she would fight me in school, spread rumors about me, order me around in front of my friends, try to steal my friends by telling them i talked bad about them, and make it a point to embarrass me in front of everybody. When I got a boyfriend, or had a crush, she would sleep with that person. She pried into my life, read the notes between me and my best friends, and listened on the phone. When she read a note that said I was bi-curious, she took the note and ran around the house screaming "ewwww" and showed it to my parents. She didn't think of the affect that could have on a person questioning their sexuality, she just wanted to see me in pain. She would slide notes under my door at night saying things like "you have something wrong with your brain, and suicide is the only option." As an adult, we got tipsy together one time and I told her I was falling for this guy, and she said he was cute and I should go for it, and as soon as we met up with him, she kissed him and was all over him the rest of the night. Worse than that, she told him how I felt about him. She ended up getting knocked up by him, and married, so now there's shame and embarrassment everytime I see them.

The thing about hating a sibling or a parent, and I mean really hating them, is they ruin your life, but it's not like hating a friend. You can't just abandon them and never speak to them again. From birth until adulthood, you are forced to see them everyday, and that affects a person, makes them bitter. I tried to get back at my sister, give her a taste of her own medicine, but it would always come back and bite me in the...you know. She was too good at her game, and I didn't have enough practice at manipulating. She would use that opportunity to play the victim and tell my friends/boyfriends that I was always treating her so bad.

Sorry for the (way too long!) essay, but this one is my specialty. I am an expert on sibling hatred, and I have a hundred more examples up my sleeve, ranging from innocent pranks (fart in a cup and put the cup over someone's face) to fight starters, to monumental, life-ruining things. I can tell you how it feels, how I retaliated (and sometimes won), and how I sometimes just broke down.

shaldna
07-24-2010, 03:51 PM
I;ve always gotten on pretty well with my brothers, but one of my friends and her brother have a horrible relationship, with a history of violence.

I think in her case it was because she was the youngest and the only daughter, and so it ws easier to pick on her than the boys, who could fight back.

It got so bad that she tried to kill herself at one stage.

Bufty
07-24-2010, 08:08 PM
Jeepers -some of these tales are so sad. I have a twin-sister, an elder sister and a younger sister and I wouldn't swap any of them for anything.

Linda Adams
07-24-2010, 10:56 PM
As odd as it sounds, hit the advice columns in the newspaper. There are always stories about people writing in with family problems. Depending on your story, you don't necessarily have to do something extreme. Relationships can sometimes be about perceptions. All it might take is a sibling who thinks that the other is getting favorable treatment--coupled perhaps with the surprise that the other thought the sibling was getting favored treatment. Or it could be that the sibling has a very specific sense of how things are supposed to be, which the other ends up violating for being who they are.

And if you really want to throw a monkey wrench into things, make it about money. Money does strange things to people. During the Depression, my great-grandmother was broke, so a family member gave her $500. Sixty years later, that family member died and left my grandmother money. Another relative got into a huge snit over it and didn't speak to my grandmother again. He felt that since great-grandmother had gotten the money during the Depression, my grandmother should not have received anything.

It's all about relationships.

kaitie
07-25-2010, 07:51 AM
I actually love my bro, but my mom's family doesn't get along at all. She has an older sister in particular that she's hated for years now, and there are certain things from their childhood that my mom still is bothered by.

How old are the brothers? I know some examples with my mom included things like her sister forcing her to wear embarrassing dresses that she hated. Even really minor things that you wouldn't think would be an influence fifty years down the line are factors. Stuff like my mom would do dishes, and her sister would wait until my mom had finished all of them to bring her dirty dishes in so she'd have to wash one more. Vindictive little things like that. Well, at least things that my mom always saw as vindictive. Whether or not they were intended that way was another story.

The interesting thing about watching my family, though, is that these things from childhood continue to color their impressions of one another even as adults. If said aunt does something, it's still because she wants attention, or because she's trying to make life harder on my mom, or just anything like that. It's kind of like they have these goggles on that they see one another through, all built around what happened when they were just kids, and no one realizes it. It's both fascinating and sad at the same time. Not sure if this helps any, though.

StephanieFox
07-25-2010, 09:11 AM
I have to tell you folks that after reading these thing, I'm glad I'm an only. There are problems being an only (you have to be the best in everything,) and you have the responsibility of taking care of both parents when they get old, but I never had to fight over a inheritance or have a mean sibling to deal with. Good luck to you all!

pdr
07-26-2010, 07:39 AM
to hate a brother is because either or both parents value him as the son and heir, who is going to do great things and who can do no wrong. Thus love and money are expended on him and begrudged to a daughter who will only get married and not carry on the family name. The brother knows he can do anything and he does. Little sister gets blamed for everything and/or disbelieved if she complains. Brother gets the expensive education, little sister gets what is available.

As a teacher/tutor/prof I have seen this family situation so many times. It is amazing even today how many women prefer sons to daughters and how many men want a son to carry on the family name/farm/business.

Xelebes
07-26-2010, 10:26 AM
I know that my grandmother's brother hated my grandmother right to his deathbed. Can't blame him. He paid for his sister to go to University in the 40's just so she could leave the house, away from her drunk and abusive father. To keep images up, my grandmother created this whole idea that her father had in fact paid her way through university instead of her brother and stuck with it, even to her brother's face. You can guess what to expect to from that what happened.

Ms Hollands
07-26-2010, 03:35 PM
to hate a brother is because either or both parents value him as the son and heir, who is going to do great things and who can do no wrong. Thus love and money are expended on him and begrudged to a daughter who will only get married and not carry on the family name. The brother knows he can do anything and he does. Little sister gets blamed for everything and/or disbelieved if she complains. Brother gets the expensive education, little sister gets what is available.

As a teacher/tutor/prof I have seen this family situation so many times. It is amazing even today how many women prefer sons to daughters and how many men want a son to carry on the family name/farm/business.

Or, alternatively, because they're little pricks to their little sisters. Simple as.

shadowwalker
07-26-2010, 03:51 PM
to hate a brother is because either or both parents value him as the son and heir.

Funny because that's exactly the way it was in our family - at least, for my mother. In fact, my one brother and I have talked about it - how the 3 boys were always "special" to Mom and the 2 girls were, well, girls. :tongue But strangely enough, I didn't hate my brothers for it - it wasn't their fault. But it may be why my sister and I didn't get along - we knew we couldn't compete with the boys for Mom's affection, so we had to duke it out for what was left.

Still, I can't blame my mother - she did love all her kids, just "differently"...