*sigh*

My seven-year-old miniature horse, Ginger, has been ill for going on three months now- I posted back then about her-

The vets are scratching their collective heads about what is going on with her. We have treated her for everything from Lymes disease to EPM (a neurological parasitic thing- not a good thing) But after a brief period
where it looked like she might be turning the corner and getting better- she has now gone the other way-

we have a couple options right now-
1- control her discomfort with pain meds and give her some more time-
2-take her to Cornell, a large innovative equine university in New York for extensive testing and treatment (that would put us down a couple of grand at least)
3- put her down-

She is only seven

Rhetorical question here but when do you know when enough is enough?
what if we put her down and she only needed a little more time to turn that corner- or worse what if we wait and she dies in pain?
*sigh*
my heart is broken-

Hugs work just fine Jersey- thanks-

we talked to the vets at Cornell this morning after I first posted. Basically the bottom line is, if we took her there, they could possibly give us a definitive diagnoses, but if it is EPM there is really nothing more than can do- her high heart rate is likely in response to pain- we gave her something to help with that-

If we thought there was something Cornell could do- we would go, despite the cost- that's not the deciding factor. The five hour trip there would most likely stress her to the breaking point (she is with her mommy and they have never been separated, so we would have to bring both of them to keep her calm) I don't think she would survive the trip.

So, we are watching and listening for her to tell us when its time- right now she is up and down periodically, but she is eating and drinking. so for now we wait and see- but we also called a friend with a back hoe- just in case-I hate to be practical but when you have large animals you have to be prepared-

I'll keep you updated and thank you all so much for the thoughts, prayers and hugs- its nice to let my guard down here- I'm trying to keep a brave face on for my kids-

Thanks guys-
Red dog- you weren't insensitive- not at all-I am a very practical person and while I love all my critters more than I should- I am not going to put a lean on my house just to say I did everything i could-so no worries there at all-I very much appreciated the advice-

The vet was just out as her resp rate was very high- I just wanted him to eyeball her and give us an honest opinion-

her heart rate and respiratory rate are high and she now has muffled heart sounds which means she in accumulating fluid around her heart-

She will not get better- she is going to die- but she is not acutely suffering at this point in the vet's opinion, which I trust and agree with.

We told him , yes, put her down and then I went to get my kids so they could say good by to her- By the time the kids came out she was back on her feet-

That was all it took for my husband too change to his mind. we gave her more pain med and a diuretic to help her hear rate, but it is only a band aid- My husband is aware of this as well, but he needs time and she is no worse so we will give her a day and then we will see. Most likely the vet will be back out in the morning one last time-

The hole is dug in the upper pasture-

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Ginger- Isn't she sweet-

Still on her feet this morning- but not drinking enough or eating. I almost wish she had passed during the night so I wouldn't have to make the decision- because I know my husband won't-This is tearing him apart- he is 6'4" 220lbs and weeping like a baby- my poor tough guy.

She is in no acute distress today- tomorrow while he is at work I think- he said it would be easier for him that way- she was just giving me kisses-

Thanks so much everyone- they do sink their little hooks in your heart, don't they? I'll keep you informed-

Still on her feet this morning- she was out grazing last evening- but obviously uncomfortable when she walks- Is she telling me what to do and I'm not listening? I wish I knew-

Ginger only came to be with us a little over two years ago- we never had minis before, but my 35 year old gelding can't eat hay, so in the winter we would have had too separate him from the other horses we have and he would have been terribly lonely. so we thought if we get a mini we can make a dutch door over one of the stalls and put the mini's hay in there and close the top door so Panther (gelding) can't get to it. Brilliant- right? it seemed so- Panther thrived and loves his 'girls' he thinks he's a stallion again-lol- and Brandy (Ginger's mom) and Ginger love him- Ginger was the brave one who first went out to meet Panther when we first introduced them.

She is such a character- DH was sitting in the field just watching them that first day and Ginger walked right up to where he was and tried to sit in his lap! So funny- she is the first one to greet me in the morning and last to say good night- such a personality-

Her mom was abused and abandoned before the guy we got them from found her- she was locked in stall pregnant with Ginger and left to die- Rich saved them and then found himself with to many horses- he gave them to us for free when he heard why we wanted them-

sorry for the long story but she has been with us for such a short time it is just not fair- I guess I just wanted you to know her a little bit- I wish I knew what to do- Her heart rate this morning is high and irregular, but she is standing! and seems in no acute distress-I only get one chance to do this right.

SWest said:

Clues I look for when a pet is trying to move on:

*no appetite at all (and adverse side effects from anything eaten) Still interested in food- but not eating enough

*secludes herself from others- Yes

*unresponsive (deeply depressed, mentally dull or confused)- yes

*moves away from personal contact- No- she seeks out contact

*symptoms of illness that do not respond to any treatments-Big yes


If the discomfort you are seeing could be managed, then you may have more time. Do you have an acupuncturist available where you live- She was actually seen by an Equine chiropractor thinking her discomfort was a slipped disc- her back was fine- we asked about an equine acupuncturist- her didn't think it would make a big diference in her comfort as he agreed it is neurological in nature- (http://www.aava.org/php/aava_blog/aava-directory/)?

Otherwise, stay close to her, side-by-side, so that you can feel what her energy can tell you.

No right or wrong, only Love.

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Thanks sweetie- I am hoping when the time is right she will let me know- the waiting is the hard part- Love is not a problem-