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tiny
09-05-2005, 05:02 AM
This is a game I played on another board and it was rather entertaining. It's pretty self explanitory so I'll explain.

Each entry starts with either Fortunately or Unfortunately depending on the post above you. It can form a story or just a series of events or thoughts. Whatever happens happens.


-chris


I'll start out a pessimist -


Unfortunately, during the night a traveling carnival set up outside my house and started selling tickets to look inside.

Cathy C
09-05-2005, 05:20 AM
Unfortunately, the clothes belonged to the dog-faced boy and now she has fleas!

Unique
09-05-2005, 05:22 AM
Fortunately we had just stocked up on Advantage Extra.

brokenfingers
09-05-2005, 05:23 AM
Fortunately they were trained and she was able to open her own flea circus!

Vanessa
09-05-2005, 05:24 AM
Unfortunately, I don't know what Advantage Extra is....I think.

brokenfingers
09-05-2005, 05:24 AM
Rats, foiled again!

Unfortunately, we had to shave off all her hair.

brokenfingers
09-05-2005, 05:25 AM
Holy cow! Twice now!

Fortunately, she had a son who had a phd in fleaology who took care of everything.

poetinahat
09-05-2005, 05:26 AM
Unfortunately, the fleas' best stunt was to arrange themselves, marching band style, to spell out unspeakably obscene insults.

maestrowork
09-05-2005, 05:32 AM
Fortunately, those insults were aimed mostly at Martha Stewart.

DeniseK
09-05-2005, 05:45 AM
Unfortunately, Martha's house arrest kept her from hearing them.

Unique
09-05-2005, 05:51 AM
Fortunately, someone had a video camera and taped the whole thing.

poetinahat
09-05-2005, 05:52 AM
Unfortunately, the insults were spelled out in Braille.

DeniseK
09-05-2005, 05:54 AM
Fortunately, Stevie Wonder was passing through.

maestrowork
09-05-2005, 05:58 AM
Unfortunately, he had no hands.

Unique
09-05-2005, 06:04 AM
Fortunately, he had also learned to read Braille with his toes.

poetinahat
09-05-2005, 06:11 AM
Unfortunately, he read the message upside-down.

DeniseK
09-05-2005, 06:48 AM
Unfortunately, doing so changed all the obscene words to praise.

maestrowork
09-05-2005, 07:01 AM
Fortunately, the praise went to Michael Jackson.

tiny
09-05-2005, 07:34 AM
Unfortunately, Michael was busy at the doctor and heard none of it.

DeniseK
09-05-2005, 07:36 AM
Fortunately, the doctor had a shipment of new noses in, so it didn't matter.

tiny
09-05-2005, 07:38 AM
Fortunately, the elephant across the street didn't notice.

DeniseK
09-05-2005, 07:41 AM
Fortunately, he was too busy watching the flea circus to care.

poetinahat
09-05-2005, 08:39 AM
Unfortunately, Paul McCartney was on hand to reprise their anti-classic duet, "The Girl Is Mine."

tiny
09-05-2005, 08:58 AM
Fortunately, dogs from all over the city flocked to the performance and danced upright on their hind legs.

MacAllister
09-05-2005, 09:00 AM
Unfortunately, the PETA people were there and misunderstood what was happening. The resulting legal battle promised to be very ugly.

maestrowork
09-05-2005, 09:17 AM
Fortunately, the Montago circus triplets were uglier.

tiny
09-05-2005, 09:17 AM
Unfortunately, Frank was near sighted and cross eyed so he thought they were one rather pretty girl.

maestrowork
09-05-2005, 09:38 AM
Fortunately, Frank's wife was by his side, sipping orange soda and keeping an hawk's eye on him.

tiny
09-05-2005, 09:40 AM
Unfortunately, the Hawk's eye just wasn't sticky enough and she lost sight of him as he ran off to join the circus.

poetinahat
09-05-2005, 11:09 AM
Fortunately, he didn't fit under the big top (it being a flea circus).

reph
09-05-2005, 12:08 PM
Unfortunately, his little son did fit under the big top and joined the circus in his place.

DeniseK
09-05-2005, 04:59 PM
Unfortunately, Frank's wife loved her little boy much more than she did Frank, so she got a job with the flea circus as a roustabout.

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
09-05-2005, 05:03 PM
Fortunately, the pay was rather impressive and she was able to buy the fleas as an army to attack anyone she tells them to.

ANNIE
09-05-2005, 05:14 PM
unfortunately Frank tripped and fell on the circus tent, squashing all them suckers flat!

maestrowork
09-05-2005, 05:48 PM
Fortunately, the cockroach ringmaster escaped.

ANNIE
09-05-2005, 06:42 PM
unfortunately, he was pretty ticked off at frank.

Cathy C
09-05-2005, 07:23 PM
Fortunately, the dog faced boy came looking for his fleas and is fond of cockroach crunchies.

DeniseK
09-05-2005, 07:57 PM
Unfortunately, he only liked chocolate covered cockroach crunchies.

maestrowork
09-05-2005, 08:14 PM
Fortunately, the cockroach landed in a tub of chocolate.

aruna
09-05-2005, 08:34 PM
Unfortunately, the dog-faced boy tried to fish the cockroach out of the chocolate but fell in himself and drowned.

tiny
09-05-2005, 10:30 PM
Fortunately, the easter bunny happened by and rolled all the now lumpy chocolate into fabulous eggs to hand out during his rounds next spring.

Carole
09-05-2005, 10:34 PM
unfortunately, the easter bunny's refrigerator is broken so they'll all spoil

Cathy C
09-05-2005, 11:11 PM
Fortunately, the sno-cone vendor offered his truck to keep them cold if the Easter Bunny would lead all the circus animals in a bunny hop.

DeniseK
09-05-2005, 11:39 PM
Unfortunately, Micheal Jackson returned and they chose to do the moonwalk instead.

tiny
09-05-2005, 11:55 PM
Fortunately, cheese got all stuck up in the tread of everyone's shoes attracting a bajillion rats who carried Mr. Jackson away.

DeniseK
09-06-2005, 12:33 AM
Fortunately, he treated all the circus animals to the lyrics to "Ben" before he departed.

ANNIE
09-06-2005, 12:33 AM
fortunately everyone paused what they were doing to participate in a heartfelt round of applause at Michaels absense.

tiny
09-06-2005, 01:01 AM
Unfortunately, after the accolades died down, they realized the cheese had been slogged everywhere and now had to be cleaned up before it started to stink up the place.

reph
09-06-2005, 01:31 AM
Fortunately, scientists at the lab across the street spilled a batch of cheese-eating bacteria out the window.

tiny
09-06-2005, 01:34 AM
Unfortunately, there were a roving pack of bacteria eating gorillas happening by who not only ate the bacteria but the scientists as well.

Unique
09-06-2005, 02:17 AM
Fortunately, these gorillas were created in a lab and only lived 24 hours.

Carole
09-06-2005, 02:27 AM
Unfortunately, after they died, there was a new mess that needed to be cleaned up

Unique
09-06-2005, 02:38 AM
Fortunately, they all died right in front of a backhoe operator's house so he dug a hole and buried them.

poetinahat
09-06-2005, 02:43 AM
Unfortunately, he accidentally also buried the group Gorillaz, so now we have no more "sunshine in a bag".

Carole
09-06-2005, 03:36 AM
Fortunately, that group is ever mutating so we now have a brand NEW bunch of musicians behind the curtain!

tiny
09-06-2005, 03:39 AM
Unfortunately, they were much shorter than before and the equipment all had to be resized.

poetinahat
09-06-2005, 04:50 AM
Fortunately, the new band became the perfect vehicle for Tiny Tim to make his long-awaited comeback!

rhymegirl
09-06-2005, 05:18 AM
Unfortunately, even though I've read this story it really doesn't make any sense to me.

ANNIE
09-06-2005, 05:19 AM
unfortunately Tiny Tim developed an irreversable case of stage fright and ran screaming into the night.

poetinahat
09-06-2005, 06:37 AM
Fortunately, a high school film class was out on a field trip and saw him; they will soon release Blair Witch Project 2 - Revenge of the Ukulele.

Gehanna
09-06-2005, 06:45 AM
Unfortunately, there will be twice as many nasal shots in this film.

tiny
09-06-2005, 06:52 AM
Fortunately, the star will be equipped with a hanky and some talent.

aruna
09-06-2005, 09:29 AM
Unfortunately, Madonna came by, saw the hanky and ripped it away to use as a thong.

reph
09-06-2005, 10:08 AM
Fortunately, the new movie will be shot so cheaply that viewers won't be able to make out detail in the grainy pictures.

aruna
09-06-2005, 01:22 PM
Unfortunately the thong was cheap quality too; it ripped and all was revealed.

Unique
09-06-2005, 04:52 PM
Fortunately, the backhoe operator was still around so he dug another hole and buried her too.

aruna
09-06-2005, 04:58 PM
Unfortunately, he forgot to fill in the grave and a heffalump fell in.

ANNIE
09-06-2005, 05:06 PM
fortunately Madonna used the heffalump to crawl out of the hole.

aruna
09-06-2005, 05:15 PM
Unfortnately she was squashed so flat she looked like a walking pancake with paddles.

awatkins
09-06-2005, 05:54 PM
Fortunately, the Gingerbread Man came along and ran away with her.

alleycat
09-06-2005, 06:15 PM
Unfortunately, she bit him in the privates and he now has an even bigger "O" on his face.

ANNIE
09-06-2005, 11:49 PM
fortunately, that look really worked for him.

alleycat
09-07-2005, 12:37 AM
Unfortunately, he later lost the American Idol competition to Rubert.

reph
09-07-2005, 02:11 AM
Fortunately, he got temporary work filling in while the Pillsbury Doughboy took a vacation.

alleycat
09-07-2005, 02:20 AM
Unfortunately, he kept getting poked in his sore spot and had to quit.

DeniseK
09-07-2005, 02:29 AM
Fortunately his sore spot was his G spot, so he was unemployed but happy.

alleycat
09-07-2005, 02:35 AM
...he was unemployed but happy.
Unfortunately, Britney Spears married someone else.

DeniseK
09-07-2005, 02:38 AM
??

poetinahat
09-07-2005, 03:04 AM
Fortunately, his adventures helped him to realise who he was deep down, and he headed west with the Frito Bandito.

ANNIE
09-07-2005, 03:07 AM
unfortunately he couldn't stand the theme song for long and struck out on his own. (aye yi yi yi!)

tiny
09-07-2005, 07:20 AM
Fortunately, he found a new banana-ish persona and theme song which caused him to giggle until he peed in his peel.

poetinahat
09-07-2005, 07:38 AM
Unfortunately, the only dance he could do was the "where's the toilet?" dance... and even then only when he had to 'go'. Hence, the theme song left him grooveless.

alleycat
09-07-2005, 07:55 AM
Fortunately, Michael Jackson offered him a place to stay (and to teach him to moonwalk!).

aruna
09-07-2005, 10:00 AM
Unfortunately Madonna turned up with the gingerbreadman's privates and told Michael the true story

poetinahat
09-07-2005, 10:05 AM
Fortunately, Michael didn't care; in fact, he thought the privates were even better than the elephant's trunk he'd coveted earlier in the thread, and a mutually beneficial trade was arranged.

msQTpi
09-07-2005, 11:07 AM
Unfortunately, the ginger-bread-man, and his genitals, were over 12 years old, so they were tossed into the vault with the elephant-man's bones.

aruna
09-07-2005, 11:19 AM
Fortunately, due to the chemical reaction between the gingerbreadman, his genitals, and the elephant bones, the whole vault filled up with a magical syrup which turned everyone into kids.

ANNIE
09-07-2005, 03:12 PM
Unfortunately children and youth showed up and shut the whole place down.

aruna
09-07-2005, 04:36 PM
Fortunately Michael dressed himself up as the Pied Piper and led them all away, moonwalking

alleycat
09-07-2005, 04:40 PM
Unfortunately, the cops were waiting at the Mexican border.

DeniseK
09-07-2005, 04:49 PM
Fortunately, they loved "Beat It" and begged Michael to sing and dance.

alleycat
09-07-2005, 04:54 PM
Unfortunately, Michael misunderstood what they meant by "beat it".

DeniseK
09-07-2005, 05:02 PM
:ROFL:

alleycat
09-07-2005, 05:15 PM
(I'm so bad...:gone: )

ANNIE
09-07-2005, 06:27 PM
unfortunately for Michael the police arrested him for indecent exposure.

alleycat
09-07-2005, 07:32 PM
Fortunately, when the Fox Network found out, they gave him his own television show--co-starring Paris Hilton.

tiny
09-07-2005, 09:05 PM
Unfortunately, Ms. Hilton had an string of muddy cars to wash and no burgers to help her so she had to take a pass on the show.

alleycat
09-07-2005, 09:38 PM
Fortunately, he was able to develop a singing and dancing act with Bubbles the chimp playing carnival shows.

Jaycinth
09-07-2005, 11:28 PM
Unfortunately Bubbles relationship with the Innuit Mafia became strained and he had to hide out in Brad's Pits.

tiny
09-08-2005, 03:16 AM
Fortunately, Bubbles had a gorilla costume that allowed him to pass right through the Pits and on to Vegas where he was hired to do magic in front of a line of showgirls.

ANNIE
09-08-2005, 03:20 AM
unfortunately for bubbles, the show girls were all transvestites who were into gorillas

alleycat
09-08-2005, 03:53 AM
Fortunately, Bubbles was hired as a blackjack dealer at the MGM Grand.

ANNIE
09-08-2005, 04:08 AM
unfortunately Bubbles got busted for holding cards

poetinahat
09-08-2005, 05:05 AM
Fortunately, he said in his defense, "Well, it was Texas Hold 'Em...". The security guys laughed so hard, he got a job as the opening act for Celine Dion.

alleycat
09-08-2005, 05:11 AM
Unfortunately, Celine lost her hat collection and couldn't go on.

Just kidding, Jenna, don't boot me off!!!

robeiae
09-08-2005, 05:46 AM
Fortunately, Oprah found the hats, sold them on e-bay, and used the money to pay for her liposuction.

Rob :)

alleycat
09-08-2005, 06:29 AM
Unfortunately, Oprah went back home to Nashville, had BBQ ribs and fried chicken and gained all the weight back.

robeiae
09-08-2005, 06:35 AM
Fortunately, Bill's House 'O Ribs made a small fortune.

Rob :)

tiny
09-08-2005, 06:57 AM
Unfortunately, Bill spent his fortune on a herd of fat dogs he thought were piggys causing his resturant to go under due to public outrage over puppy eating.

poetinahat
09-08-2005, 07:46 AM
Fortunately, his fat dogs turned out to be fluent in English, enabling him to found a lucrative Dog Interpretation Service, heralding a new age in inter-species communication.

robeiae
09-08-2005, 07:55 AM
Unfortunately, it turned out that dogs were always cussing out their owners, promoted global canine executions.

Rob :)

tiny
09-08-2005, 08:22 AM
Fortunately, a roving band of cats wandered by causing a stampeed like reaction from the first wave of dogs to be hung and they trampled all those who had missunderstood their angry barking language.

alleycat
09-08-2005, 05:08 PM
Unfortunately, one of the first to go was the head of Disney Studios.

:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :Clap:

Jaycinth
09-08-2005, 06:54 PM
Fortunately his moose milk market in Manitoba made mounds of money.

aruna
09-08-2005, 07:03 PM
Fortunately his moose milk market in Manitoba made mounds of money.

Unfortunately, the money came from Nigeria.

DeniseK
09-08-2005, 07:23 PM
Unfortunately, it was really a Nigerian email scam and there was no actual money.

alleycat
09-08-2005, 07:27 PM
Fortunately, people believed the Nigerians were rich and started sending scam letters to them...and they fell for it!

robeiae
09-08-2005, 07:29 PM
Unfortunately, the Nigerians still didn't have any money, so they sent rocks.

Rob :)

Gehanna
09-08-2005, 07:39 PM
Fortunately, Charles M. Schulz had psychic ability and knew the Nigerians would send rocks. This explains the rocks that Charlie Brown gets at Halloween every year.

robeiae
09-08-2005, 08:01 PM
Unfortunately, it doesn't explain where the hell the Great Pumpkin is!

Rob :)

Jaycinth
09-08-2005, 09:02 PM
Fortunately the rocks were really "The Nigerian Rocks" a clasical fusion jazz hip- hop go-go salsa christian death metal band, and even though the Great Pumpkin didn't show, all Charlie's friends thought he was 'wicked'.

robeiae
09-08-2005, 09:05 PM
Unfortunately, this caused CB to rename himself 'Snoop Charlie Dog,' join a gang, deal drugs, and beat up on Lucy, who subsequently pushed him off a bridge.

Rob :)

DeniseK
09-08-2005, 09:14 PM
Fortunately, Snoopy had taken a rescue course, and he saved Charlie Brown from drowning.

aruna
09-08-2005, 09:26 PM
Unfortunately, Charlie Brown woke up with amnesia and thought he was Lucy

alleycat
09-08-2005, 09:50 PM
Fortunately, Charlie got to explore his feminine side (and developed a real thing for shoes!)

ANNIE
09-08-2005, 11:13 PM
unfortunately Charlie fell off his stilletos and broke a leg.

awatkins
09-08-2005, 11:16 PM
Fortunately, Snoopy was able to fashion a splint for Charlie's leg from the stilleto and a piece of duct tape.

aruna
09-08-2005, 11:30 PM
Unfortunately, CB wrote an autobiographical novel about the whole traumatic experience but it was published by PublishAmerica

alleycat
09-08-2005, 11:40 PM
Unfortunately, CB wrote an autobiographical novel about the whole traumatic experience but it was published by PublishAmerica

:roll:
You just destroyed my whole train of thought (not that I had much to begin with.)

Jaycinth
09-09-2005, 12:13 AM
Fortunately (ug) PublishAmerica put the manuscript in Snoopy's food bowl and Snoopy made it into a chipolte fondue.

Gehanna
09-09-2005, 12:44 AM
Unfortunately Pig Pen came by and made a mess of it all.

tiny
09-09-2005, 01:02 AM
Fortunately, the train that had been derailed, well it was bounced back onto the tracks by mounds of coagulated PA lies and picked up the whole gang, saving them from the waist high mess.

alleycat
09-09-2005, 01:16 AM
Unfortunately, the train was run by Amtrak, which means no one is going anyplace soon.

tiny
09-09-2005, 03:23 AM
Fortunately, the conductor had a zeppelin so the whole group piled in and headed toward New York to see the lights.

ANNIE
09-09-2005, 03:40 AM
unfortunatley, the zepplin sprung a leak sending them all off course, forcing them to crash land in the middle of the Appalachian Mts.

tiny
09-09-2005, 03:51 AM
Fortunately, the smell of chocolate drove them north through those misty beauties and they were all in better shape by the time they got to Hershey.

alleycat
09-09-2005, 03:55 AM
Unfortunately, the chocolate factory had been closed and the production moved to India.

Jaycinth
09-09-2005, 05:38 AM
Fortunately Willlie Wonka hired the vampire Lestat to set things right.

WVWriterGirl
09-09-2005, 06:37 AM
Unfortunately, Lestat can only come out at night, so the world's first "Open All Night, Closed All Day Chocolate Emporium" failed miserably, and leaving both Willie and Lestat mere shells (chocolate shells, that is) of their former selves.

ANNIE
09-09-2005, 04:33 PM
fortunately, Willie developed a choclate-based super sun screen that allowed Lestat to be out during the day.

alleycat
09-09-2005, 04:54 PM
Unfortunately, it melted in the sun and Lestat was arrested for indecent exposure and had to share a jail cell with a school teacher.

WVWriterGirl
09-09-2005, 05:36 PM
Fortunately, the school teacher helped Lestat earn his GED in just three short months, giving him all the advantages of a high school education.

robeiae
09-09-2005, 05:41 PM
Unfortunately, Lestat's fangs gave him a lisp every time he said "you want fries with that?"

Rob :)

alleycat
09-09-2005, 05:59 PM
Fortunately, since he failed at everything else, they decided he was management material and moved him to corporate headquarters in Cleveland.

robeiae
09-09-2005, 06:04 PM
Unfortunately, He made the decision to bring back the McRib, with a new special sauce of his own devising.

Rob :)

alleycat
09-09-2005, 06:44 PM
Fortunately, all the customers liked it when they found out it was low carb!!

Jaycinth
09-09-2005, 08:59 PM
Unfortunately the place was closed down when they discoverd it was loaded with tetra-hydro-cannibinols and salt.

Arc_Honest
09-09-2005, 10:09 PM
unfortunatly every one was wearing gloves ,so MJ couldn't here the applause, and was sad

alleycat
09-09-2005, 10:24 PM
Uh...okay!

Fortunately, with Michael's face, no one could tell.

tiny
09-09-2005, 10:35 PM
Unfortunately, Michael, along with his face, disliked the McRib and stomped out of Cleveland in a huge hissy fit declaring he would never be back.

threedogpeople
09-09-2005, 11:47 PM
Unfortunately, Michael, along with his face, disliked the McRib and stomped out of Cleveland in a huge hissy fit declaring he would never be back.

Fortunately, no one except the debt collection agency and his monkey cared

Jaycinth
09-10-2005, 12:30 AM
Unfortunately, the monkey stopped caring.

ANNIE
09-10-2005, 04:11 AM
fortunately noone cared except Micheal and the people from peta

Gehanna
09-10-2005, 05:45 AM
Unfortunately, no one really knows the truth of this story because to tell it would be a HIPPA violation!

tiny
09-10-2005, 05:48 AM
Fortunately, everyone was distracted by the gigantic panda that had recently escaped from the local zoo.

robeiae
09-10-2005, 08:38 AM
Unfortunately, the Panda was in heat and came upon Lyle Lovett.

Rob :)

ANNIE
09-10-2005, 05:40 PM
fortunately Lyle started singing and the panda went back behind bars voluntarily if he promised to stop.

threedogpeople
09-10-2005, 11:07 PM
Unfortunately for the Panda the floor of her cage had been replaced by poison ivy

ANNIE
09-11-2005, 02:48 AM
fortunatly the Panda is immune to poison ivy.

three seven
09-11-2005, 02:50 AM
Unfortunately this was a mutant strain of poison ivy genetically engineered in Michael Jackson's secret underground lab to be poisonous to poison ivy-immune pandas.

ANNIE
09-11-2005, 03:00 AM
fortunately PETA had forewarning of Michael's nepharous deeds and swept in like thieves in the night and cleaned out the panda's cage before it set one endangered paw in the stuff and saved it-- forever! (so there):tongue

awatkins
09-11-2005, 03:44 AM
Unfortunately, the panda developed a rash as a result of an allergic reaction to the chemicals used to clean the cage.

tiny
09-11-2005, 05:30 AM
Fortunately, the rash caused the panda to create a dance craze that brought him fame and fortune.

tiny
09-11-2005, 05:31 AM
Unfortunately, pictures of his gigantic behind showed up on all the tabloid news rags within the week.

threedogpeople
09-11-2005, 08:19 AM
Fortunately for the panda, it wasn't her behind, it was Michael Jackson's

ANNIE
09-11-2005, 05:29 PM
unfortunately for Michael, his plastic surgeon was out of town

aruna
09-11-2005, 05:56 PM
Fortunately it didn't matter, because his fans accepted this as the New Look and everyone began imitating it

alleycat
09-12-2005, 02:38 AM
Unfortunately, Tom Cruise talked him into becoming a Scientologist and he ended up marrying Kristie Alley.

ANNIE
09-12-2005, 02:45 AM
Fortunately, the marriage was never consumated and Kirstie got a quickie carribean divorce.

three seven
09-12-2005, 02:46 AM
Fortunately, Kirstie realised her mistake and jetted back from the honeymoon, whereupon she ran away with the panda.







edit: harumph.

ANNIE
09-12-2005, 02:52 AM
(you just had to bring up the panda again, didn't ya?:faint: )

fortunately the panda thought Kirstie was too fat for him and wouldn't consumate with her either.

alleycat
09-12-2005, 02:56 AM
Fortunately, Kristie found a stash of chocolate chip ice cream and couldn't have cared less.

three seven
09-12-2005, 02:58 AM
Fortunately, the word 'unfortunately' apparently no longer existed so everyone lived happily ever after.




Just kidding. Do carry on.

ANNIE
09-12-2005, 03:00 AM
unfortunately, now the panda was interested, but in the ice cream, not Kirstie, but Kirstie wasn't giving it up without a fight.

alleycat
09-12-2005, 03:35 AM
Fortunately, with Kristie's bulk, she had to problem beating the hell out of the panda and having all the ice cream to herself.

JAlpha
09-12-2005, 03:49 AM
Unfortunately, there was a roach http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/images/smilies/icon_roach.gif in her ice cream.

alleycat
09-12-2005, 04:00 AM
Fortunately, Kristie thought it was a praline and ate it. Delicious, she said as she burped.

threedogpeople
09-12-2005, 07:59 PM
Unfortunately the ice cream melted faster than Kirstie could finish the carton

alleycat
09-12-2005, 09:13 PM
Fortunately, that was a good thing because the next day Kristie got a call inviting her to join the Cheers reunion show they were making with Ted, Woody, Kelsey and the gang.

ANNIE
09-12-2005, 09:27 PM
unfortunately, now she had to lose about a hundred gazillon pounds before the show was taped

alleycat
09-12-2005, 09:43 PM
Fortunately, she was off the hook when Woody went crazy and shot up a truckstop in San Jose and the taping was cancelled.

Jaycinth
09-13-2005, 12:34 AM
Unfortunately the phone was off the hook, the window was open and the squirrel was doing unhygienic things with a questionable glee.

ANNIE
09-13-2005, 04:57 AM
what I miss?

threedogpeople
09-13-2005, 06:04 AM
Fortunately, the squirrel was doing the unhygenic things to itself...

alleycat
09-13-2005, 02:03 PM
Unfortunately, he was caught on tape and ended up on the TV show America's Funnest Home Videos in the segment called "Those Nutty, Nutty Squirrels".

NewB
09-13-2005, 03:07 PM
Fortunately, his wife didn't watch that segment.

alleycat
09-13-2005, 03:13 PM
Unfortunately, his mother did; she did a "guilt trip" number on him.

aruna
09-13-2005, 04:02 PM
Fortunately, a bald-faced eagle spied his mother doing her guilt-thing and swooped down and carried her off in his beak.

NewB
09-13-2005, 04:23 PM
Unfortunately, the squirrel's mother hated eagles, especially bald-faced ones.

Carole
09-13-2005, 04:40 PM
Fortunately, this was one charismatic bald-faced eagle and he took her to his nest, wooing her with nuts & candy.

alleycat
09-13-2005, 04:52 PM
Unfortunately, they made the strangest couple since Ted Danson and Whoopi Goldberg.

aruna
09-13-2005, 04:54 PM
Fortunately they had a child that had the face and tail of a squirrel and the body of an eagle, and it turned famous

alleycat
09-13-2005, 05:00 PM
Unfortunately, the child was neither accepted into the squirrel community, nor allowed to soar with the eagles.

NewB
09-13-2005, 05:03 PM
Fortunately, the child didn't seem to mind that.

aruna
09-13-2005, 05:08 PM
Unofrtunately, the eagle mother did and went rabid, picking out the eyes of all eagles and squirrels

alleycat
09-13-2005, 05:10 PM
Fortunately, the poor, helpless unfortunates were taken in by the Three Blind Mice...Fred, Wilbur and Tootsie.

Jaycinth
09-13-2005, 11:38 PM
Unfortunately Wilbur contacted Squirrel Protective Services, who arrived with a porno hazmat team that was woefully unprepared for a confrontation with Dustin Hoffman.

three seven
09-13-2005, 11:52 PM
Fortunately, Hoffman's only little.

Paint
09-14-2005, 12:38 AM
Unfortunately the SPS's porno hazmat group only had dog flea sized toys for combating Angry Eagle Mother.

JohnP
09-16-2005, 06:52 AM
Fortunatly, Eagle mother is a forgiving soul and decided just to eat Hoffman

Jaycinth
09-16-2005, 08:49 PM
Unfortunately, Eagle mom made a big mess of Hoffman parts and feathers on Pee Wee Herman's new latex sofa.

JohnP
09-17-2005, 05:36 AM
Fortunately, Pee Wee Herman's new latex sofa comes clean when washed.

threedogpeople
09-17-2005, 04:37 PM
Unfortunately, the only job you could get, right out of college, was cleaning that sofa

poetinahat
09-28-2005, 04:07 AM
Fortunately, if you manage it right, you can make college last for a decade or more.

Unique
09-28-2005, 04:31 AM
Unfortunately, tuition costs continue to rise as the trust fund continues to shrink.

Jaycinth
09-28-2005, 06:24 PM
Fortunately you've got two guns, four cannons, a case of grenades, a chainsaw, a power drill, a pressure washer, a bad attitude and an irritated lawyer.

Yeshanu
09-29-2005, 05:48 AM
Unfortunately, the irritated lawyer charged so much that you had to sell the guns, cannons, gernades, chainsaw, power drill and pressure washer just to pay the fees.

Jaycinth
09-29-2005, 07:19 AM
Fortunately we were able to sell the lawyer, too!

Unique
09-29-2005, 07:32 AM
Unfortunately, the buyer returned him. They thought we'd said sawyer.

poetinahat
09-29-2005, 07:42 AM
Fortunately, he was Lionel Hutz, and we passed many a happy evening hearthside as he regaled us with stories of hijinks on the Simpsons set.

threedogpeople
10-02-2005, 12:25 AM
Unfortunately he could only remember the first season.

Jaycinth
10-03-2005, 08:41 PM
Fortunately the first season ROCKED!!!!

threedogpeople
10-03-2005, 11:52 PM
Unfortunately, the first season ended.

PattiTheWicked
10-03-2005, 11:59 PM
Fortunately, guest stars in subsequent seasons included Winona Ryder, Pam Anderson, Aerosmith, and Tito Puente.

threedogpeople
10-04-2005, 12:04 AM
Unfortunately, Winona kept trying to steal the scene.

poetinahat
10-04-2005, 02:49 AM
Fortunately, she was caught and sentenced to eleventy hours of community service - all of it involving Ricki Lake, asbestos and a cheese grater.

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
10-04-2005, 02:53 AM
Unfortunately there was no cheese to grate


(poet - have you been watching League of Gentlemen again?)

PattiTheWicked
10-04-2005, 04:46 AM
Fortunately, the absence of cheese was averted thanks to a sudden coup by the Swiss Dairymaid Cartel.

poetinahat
10-04-2005, 05:00 AM
Unfortunately, all of their cowbells were confiscated for use in "Heidi! The Musical"

Unique
10-04-2005, 05:23 AM
Fortunately there was a herd of goats nearby so goat cheese was available as a substitute.

NewsLady
10-04-2005, 05:27 AM
Unfortuanatley everyone was allergic to goat cheese.

threedogpeople
10-04-2005, 06:16 AM
Fortunately, she realized that cheese graters can be used for activities other than grating cheese and made a personal vow to explore each and every one.

poetinahat
10-04-2005, 07:56 AM
Unfortunately, she quickly found that not all of them were so 'grate'; in fact, the consequences of Activities 2 and 5 resulted in a painful and rather awkward hospital stay.

PattiTheWicked
10-04-2005, 04:39 PM
Fortunately, the attending physician was Doogie Howser.

Jaycinth
10-04-2005, 07:00 PM
Unfortunately the head nurse was a steroid addicited escapee from a pre Cold-War Grizzley wrestling commune.

Arc_Honest
10-04-2005, 07:19 PM
Fortunatley a digruntled bear from a local circus had run away to hide and snack on donuts in the hospital came up to face off against the head nurse in a 1v1 showdown

PattiTheWicked
10-04-2005, 09:39 PM
Unfortunately, the bear was distracted by an entire shipment of Charmin which had been left in an open storeroom.

Jaycinth
10-04-2005, 10:20 PM
Fortunately, the bear used the entire shipment of Charmin and thoughtfully closed the storeroom door behind him.

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
10-04-2005, 10:50 PM
Unfortunately, the bear did not grasp the dynamics of safety-air-tight locks (SATs) and his sadness at the thought of not seeing the sun again stole all his words from him and threw them into the piles of charmin, which he spent day and night searching

threedogpeople
10-04-2005, 11:00 PM
Fortunately, the bear found his words in the Charmine and realized that they were the key to unlocking the SAT.

PattiTheWicked
10-05-2005, 12:07 AM
Unfortunately, he decided to write a book about his codebreaking skills, and fell prey to Publish America.

ANNIE
10-05-2005, 03:59 AM
fortunately the bear heard about AW and found the beware thread about PA

Jaycinth
10-05-2005, 07:58 PM
Unfortunately, PA claimed the soiled Charmin constituted an implied contract and got an injunction claiming ownership of all of the S***in the woods.

threedogpeople
10-05-2005, 11:23 PM
Fortunately, the implied contract eventually expired because it, like sh*#, passed.

poetinahat
10-06-2005, 03:56 AM
Unfortunately, the bear's stage name was Da Vinci, so, while the book about his code sold well, he soon found himself back in litigation.

threedogpeople
10-06-2005, 09:54 AM
Fortunately, the Bear's second book solved his legal problems. By following the code in his book, Bear was able to covertly implement the plan revealed in the riddle, "What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?".

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
10-06-2005, 05:56 PM
Unfortunately, the only one who knew the answer was a now dead Walter Gropius, one time director of the Bauhaus.

PattiTheWicked
10-06-2005, 08:31 PM
Fortunately, before his death, he had secretly left clues written in lemon juice on the back of the Declaration of Independence.

poetinahat
10-07-2005, 03:04 AM
Unfortunately, the lemon juice had corrupted the ink on the original document; as a consequence, Kansas will become a territory of Iceland in 2012.

(and WHY am I seeing ads on this thread for Alaskan brown bear hunting, Hounds for sale, and Hound training?)

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
10-07-2005, 04:55 AM
Fortunately we never made it to 2012.

threedogpeople
10-07-2005, 05:37 AM
Unfortunately, the only reason that the U.S. didn't make it to 2012 was because the party in power got confused about the impact of the extension of daylight savings time. In a failed attempt to make up for lost time, the U.S. skipped 2012 and 2013.


Poetinthehat: I'm not seeing ads about bear hunting, hounds for sale, etc. on this post...

writerterri
10-07-2005, 10:14 AM
Fortunately the lemon juice theory went sour and in the year 2012 Walter Gropius resurrected and stole the ink from a museum and squirted it in the bear's eye and the stuff hit the fan when he tried to run.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_3_163.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZUxdm080YYUS) http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_2_12.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZUxdm080YYUS)

Jaycinth
10-07-2005, 05:55 PM
Unfortunately, when he tried to run he jumped into a time machine instead of out of the window and wound up in South Apocalypse North Dakota where the men are men and the sheep are scared.

_______________________________________________
Where is the bear hunting hound dog thread? I've never seen a bear hunting a hound dog before!

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
10-07-2005, 06:15 PM
Fortunately he is a man.

writerterri
10-07-2005, 08:45 PM
Unfortunately the time machine landed in Nique Zoolio's back yard. And when Walter tried to teach him how a real woman wants her "lady place" romanced, Zoolio refused with the same raspberry.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_22.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZUxdm080YYUS)

Jaycinth
10-07-2005, 11:04 PM
Fortunately, Zoolio's hat was pulled downover his face so no one could see his expression when THAT happened!

threedogpeople
10-08-2005, 12:45 AM
Unfortunately, his body language gave us a hint.

September skies
10-10-2005, 12:07 AM
Fortunately his body was fully clothed.

PattiTheWicked
10-10-2005, 12:32 AM
Unfortunately, his clothes were made of hemp, and so when it began to rain he became awfully itchy.

threedogpeople
10-10-2005, 01:16 AM
Fortunately, the smell was kinda' nice.