Is there a word for mistaking someone's gender?

It's called misgendering, which can be accidental or intentional. Both suck when you're trans, but being intentionally misgendered is really infuriating.

I often wonder if this is a part of why my favorite cousin/best friend is so insistent on retaining his (incredibly hideous) beard. Before he was old enough to grow one, he used to constantly be mistaken for a girl. He took it in good humor, particularly for a 14 year old boy, but...makes me wonder sometimes.

Bookewyrme said:

I often wonder if this is a part of why my favorite cousin/best friend is so insistent on retaining his (incredibly hideous) beard. Before he was old enough to grow one, he used to constantly be mistaken for a girl. He took it in good humor, particularly for a 14 year old boy, but...makes me wonder sometimes.

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Tell him to embrace his bishounen qualities like I have.

Bookewyrme said:

I often wonder if this is a part of why my favorite cousin/best friend is so insistent on retaining his (incredibly hideous) beard. Before he was old enough to grow one, he used to constantly be mistaken for a girl. He took it in good humor, particularly for a 14 year old boy, but...makes me wonder sometimes.

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Probably. Our society conditions boys and girls to think that masculinity is superior to femininity and that a boy who shows any sort of feminine side is inferior (just like all us lowly women). When someone is being strong or outspoken, we say they have balls or they've manned up, but when they show a sign of weakness, we call them a pussy or a woman. It just makes sense that he'd want to affirm his masculinity as much as possible.

I'm getting my "hooray discussing gender!" tingle feelings
I love it.

I had a Chinese neighbor when I lived in the Village that moved in and out without me ever knowing what gender he/she was. I didn't care, but its kind of strange to know someone for a year and never find out.

Wayne K said:

I had a Chinese neighbor when I lived in the Village that moved in and out without me ever knowing what gender he/she was. I didn't care, but its kind of strange to know someone for a year and never find out.

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I had a similar experience, except it was in my driver's ed class (so, much shorter time period, a little over a month). We were all 15, and I spent every day in the class wondering about him/her. He/she kept to themselves pretty strictly, and I was far FAR too shy at 15 to approach anyone who didn't approach me first. I've always been a little sad I didn't ever at least strike up a conversation though.

My fiancee, when I first met her, had a very short haircut, and was recovering from anorexia - read: really low body fat.

We visited a friend's church once, and several people asked if she was my son. Another person assumed, because we were friends with one of the church's gay members, that we were a gay couple.

This absolutely devastated my fiancee. I don't think I'd ever seen her more offended or more hurt by something a total stranger had done.

When we embrace our gender, we do so closely. I try to call people by the gender they prefer, but I feel awful if I get it wrong. It can be really hard, too. I know a gal who decided to become a guy, and despite some significant changes to his physique, I still see the feminine traits in his face, and slip up.