Is doing this safe?

There's no way to know.

And, as you suggest, there's no way to know if the critique group are straight, really. I have seen people present stories with queer characters that were, well so poorly done that the crit group objected to their depiction as being offensively cliché.

But if you're this uncomfortable / unsure about it yourself, that might suggest perhaps the story isn't ready?

Be ready for it, but I've never met a homophobic writers group. Freaks all of ya

Srsly, you could come up against that with individuals, but I doubt it with the group thing.

If ya do, tell 'em to piss off. Really.

art_to_words said:

I know this question might come off as paranoid or silly, but I was wondering if it was safe to present a story about a gay (specifically lesbian) relationship to a critique group of (I'm assuming) straight people. I am just wondering because I'm a very sensitive person, and if someone attacks me or my story unfairly just because it has gay characters, I think I'll be crushed. I still want to go to this group because it's the only writing group in my area that I know of and the people seem pretty nice. But I was just wondering if anyone has any ideas about this. Thanks in advance to all who reply.

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Anytime you put your work out there for critique there is a chance for harsh critiques and getting your feelings hurt. Until you can face that possibility, then I'm not sure you are ready for critique. You really do need to get to the place where you story is not you, and if it is critiqued, it doesn't feel like a personal attack.

When choosing a critique group, location isn't all to consider. You also need to consider the members' experience, skill and openness to your story.

You have to decide whether the members of the specific group would be a receptive audience, and, if not, if you can handle some homophobic critiques. Maybe submit something else first, and see how it goes. Or attend without submitting first.

Some heterosexual people, even heterosexual people who think they are open-minded, will be uncomfortable with stories involving containing lgbt characters or same-sex romances or sexual situations. You can't control others' reactions.

So...you need to decide if you are strong enough to hear whatever critiques may come. And if not, then don't submit yet. Or find some online critique partners first, if the in-person critique feels too personal and intense.

And if you do submit, and the critiques feel personal, then put just listen during the group, thank the critiquers for their time, and put the critiques in a drawer. And after a few days, read them. And try to see if any of the comments are helpful.

Good luck.

~suki

art_to_words said:

I know this question might come off as paranoid or silly, but I was wondering if it was safe to present a story about a gay (specifically lesbian) relationship to a critique group of (I'm assuming) straight people. I am just wondering because I'm a very sensitive person, and if someone attacks me or my story unfairly just because it has gay characters, I think I'll be crushed. I still want to go to this group because it's the only writing group in my area that I know of and the people seem pretty nice. But I was just wondering if anyone has any ideas about this. Thanks in advance to all who reply.

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Welcome to AW, Art. If you haven't found them already, go down to the Share Your Work section, check out the Romance and Erotica forums. Lurk, read the stickies, pick the one that best fits your style, hang around, see what others are writing, crit other peeps work, then post when you're ready.

--Stan

art_to_words said:

Thank you for the good advice. I've already submitted a non-lgbt story to them which was well critiqued; I'm just worried about facing possible homophobia. I guess I have to toughened up and prepare myself for whatever happens.

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This is true about anything in life, we have to toughen up, but not to the point of becoming what we hate. Writing is no different, though in my experience, writers tend to be a bit more open minded. Or, they at least hide their prejudices and beliefs a bit better than non-writers.

Remember, you can learn about your writing abilities just as well from the non LGBT work you get critiqued. Keep a civil head on your shoulders and more than likely, the group will follow your lead as well. Hopefully...

Best of luck...

You will need to grow a thicker skin if you're going to submit to a critique group. Starting out doing that online rather than in person can be easier. I know I had to. It gives you some distance. If someone sends you a nasty, abusive reply all you have to do is delete it. Easier than having to listen to that crap in person.

You have to accept too that you can't control the way other people think. If they're homophobic you can't change that. But it does mean that if they say "your book sucks because it has gay characters" you can probably ignore everything else they have to say about it. It's not only about content. Some people will think a book sucks just because it's sci-fi or romance or whatever genre they hate. Some people will hate anything written in first person. If someone has a prejudice against an important aspect of the book then they aren't going to give it a fair critique. Be aware of that when dealing with their comments.

The best critique group members will give pretty much anything a fair reading and try to help you make it a more effective story even if it's not one they'd normally read themselves. People who aren't prepared to do that shouldn't be wasting everyone's time by being in a critique group. They're probably only there to tell you to do things their way and if you don't, you're wrong!

I've shown my work to my writing group and I just figure if they can't deal with the subject matter, it's not my problem. I'm not willing to hold back or self-censor to avoid offending anybody's delicate sensibilites.

They just provided the critique and comments I'd requested.

art_to_words said:

I know this question might come off as paranoid or silly, but I was wondering if it was safe to present a story about a gay (specifically lesbian) relationship to a critique group of (I'm assuming) straight people.

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You'd present it to the world wouldn't you? It's fine. If they take offence then that's their issue.

I am just wondering because I'm a very sensitive person, and if someone attacks me or my story unfairly just because it has gay characters, I think I'll be crushed.

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Then you'll just have to grow a thicker skin. there's no room for sensitivity like that in the writing profession. You need hide like a rhinocerous.

Let's face it: presenting a published book to the world in general is going to net worse criticism than what you've faced from your critique group. You can't worry about what people are going to say about it because otherwise, you'll just paralyze yourself with fear and you'll accomplish nothing. If you do happen to get some backlash from your critique group because of your subject matter, move along, as mentioned above.

Agreed with the advice above. Anonymous criticism from readers will be WAY worse than what a crit group will give you. However, remember many of them might be uncomfortable talking about homosexuality, mostly because they don't want to offend you or come off as a homophobe. For that reason you might not get totally unbiased feedback.

Technical suggestion: to reply to several posts, use the "multi-quote function." Click this button on each post to which you want to reply, hit "Post reply" at the bottom, and all of the posts will appear in one reply. That makes the reading a little easier on us and replying easier on you.

art_to_words said:

I know this question might come off as paranoid or silly, but I was wondering if it was safe to present a story about a gay (specifically lesbian) relationship to a critique group of (I'm assuming) straight people. I am just wondering because I'm a very sensitive person, and if someone attacks me or my story unfairly just because it has gay characters, I think I'll be crushed. I still want to go to this group because it's the only writing group in my area that I know of and the people seem pretty nice. But I was just wondering if anyone has any ideas about this. Thanks in advance to all who reply.

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Your question is neither paranoid or silly.

Coming from a bisexual woman who can't even show her LGBT fiction to her straight husband because he doesn't want to read about "that kind of stuff", I understand why this is such a big deal. Face to face criticism, especially from people you already have a relationship or history with, is much worse than a bad review from a faceless critic on the internet or otherwise.

You've already received a lot of good advice here. I just wanted to let you know I feel your pain.

Depends where the writers group is located. I've lived in cities, in suburbs, in small towns (all in the US). My experience is the larger the urban area, the more chance there is for acceptance of queer people and issues. . . . ever see that Onion story "Kansas small town hosts gay shame parade" ? With very few exceptions, most rural areas have that kind of attitude

writernow said:

Depends where the writers group is located. I've lived in cities, in suburbs, in small towns (all in the US). My experience is the larger the urban area, the more chance there is for acceptance of queer people and issues. . . . ever see that Onion story "Kansas small town hosts gay shame parade" ? With very few exceptions, most rural areas have that kind of attitude

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Errr... I'm going to assume you know the Onion is a satire mag. A tenth circle has not been added to a rapidly expanding Hell, for instance.

What you say is generally true, but even here in small-town Mississippi you're not going to run into open hostility. The brush off, yes; people talking behind your back, yes; but you will not be run out of town. As I said above, I think you're just as likely to get less criticism because some people will want you to think they're tolerant.

ETA: People will offer to "pray you straight," though.

Yes of course I know the Onion is a satire. I was mentioning the piece because it is such a great spot-on take on what small towns can be like for queers.

Lots of stories encounter reader prejudice. I've had critiques schooling me that a character wouldn't feel a certain way about his religion, that another shouldn't be obese, or shouldn't make value-judgements based on someone's appearance, and that numerous characters should be different to who they are and even if they are as they are, should act differently about it.

Reader prejudice can be frustrating, but it's also very instructive. Anytime I lose readers to their own prejudices it highlights an area where I should make a character more sympathetic or understandable. This has resonance with Medi's comment that if you're not confident with the story it might not be ready to present yet.

My suggestion: ensure that the critique group has a clear charter for what kinds of stories it will critique, and if the story falls within that charter then don't seek special permission to present it. Else they'll be judging the idea rather than experiencing the story. And if the critique ever turns to personal judgement, refocus it on the story.

Good luck.