The Agent Went Down to AW

With all due love to Charlie Daniels. Plus, I should be writing.


The agent went down to AW, he was looking for a book to rep.
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal.
When he came across this young writer typin' in SYW and postin' it hot.
And the agent jumped onto the thread and said: "Girl let me tell you what:
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a literary agent too.
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
"Now you write a pretty good query, girl, but give this agent his due:
"I bet a three book deal against your soul, 'cos I think I can break you."
The girl said: "My name's Arctic and it might be a sin,
"But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cos I'm the best that's ever been."

Arctic massage up your fingers and write your novel hard.
'Cos hells broke loose in AW and the agent deals the cards.
And if you win you get this shiny three book deal.
But if you lose, the agent gets your soul.

The agent opened up a thread and he said: "I'll start this show."
And fire flew from his fingertips as he red marked Arctic's novel.
And he cut out extra words and a lurker made a sympathetic hiss.
Then a band of editors joined in and it looked something like this.
When the agent finished, Arctic said: "Well you're pretty good ol' son.
"But sit down right there, and let me show you how revisions done."

Comments on the forum, write girl, write.
The agent's in the house of the sizzlin' pun.
Commas in the sentence, pickin' out splices.
"Arctic, does your novel suck?"
"No, lurker, no."

The agent bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
He laid that three book deal on the ground at Arctic's feet.
Arctic said: "Agent, just come on back if you ever want to try again.
"I told you once, you son of a gun, I'm the best that's ever been."

Thanks, Elara!

Thanks, Wendy. No. No three-book deal. This is just me messing around. Someday!

Thanks, bettielee!

Thanks!