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roostercharmer
06-02-2010, 12:56 AM
It's about a woman who lives in a dwindling country of allied city-states and gets caught up in a hunt for this legendary source of power thought to control the will of the elements of creation. This throws her into a physical and mental battle with a military leader who has the trust and loyalty of the country but harbors a secret ambition he keeps from even his closest friends and advisers.

There's lots more to it than that, of course, but that's the gist. It's set in a made-up world, drawing lightly on some ancient Greek social/political elements. Very character driven, magic is there but not an overwhelming element and there's a good dash of romance. It's 183,000-ish words but is very fast-moving (I hope!).

I've done two major redrafts so I don't need someone to look at spelling and grammar (unless there's something very obviously wrong or distracting). I just want overall impressions of the plot and characters as well as comments on things like pacing and style and world-building. I'm especially worried about the first 4 chapters, so if nothing else I would like someone to look over those. Need someone that will be tough but constructive--I've got a thin skin I'm trying to thicken!

Would love to swap!

fadeaccompli
06-02-2010, 03:24 AM
I'd be willing to look at the first four chapters, at least; there's always the possibility of going on to read the whole thing if I fall in love with the story. PM me if you're interested.

thothguard51
06-02-2010, 03:32 AM
183,000 words is a bit long. Is this your first novel?

If so, you might consider joining a writing group, online or in person. I find it best to have multiple beta's because you get a greater variety of opinions of what works and does not work. Not every beta is going to see everything wrong, and even what they see as wrong, may be more a matter of taste in which others don't have a problem.

Right now, I am a bit busy with my own revisions after my delightful flogging here...

roostercharmer
06-02-2010, 06:26 AM
183,000 words is a bit long. Is this your first novel?

If so, you might consider joining a writing group, online or in person. I find it best to have multiple beta's because you get a greater variety of opinions of what works and does not work. Not every beta is going to see everything wrong, and even what they see as wrong, may be more a matter of taste in which others don't have a problem.

Right now, I am a bit busy with my own revisions after my delightful flogging here...

Yeah, it's my first novel and I'm thinking it will either need to be split or cut down heavily. And I will check out the writing group thing. Thanks for all the advice and good luck with your own revisions! Excited to be flogged myself. :D

fadeaccompli -- I will PM you. Thanks!

thothguard51
06-02-2010, 06:38 AM
once you start editing, your going to find you can more than likely get rid of about a third of what you have.

The first book I wrote was 250,000. I didn't know where or how to stop. Once I started revising, I got it down to about 175,000 and didn't think I could get it any lower. But then my beta readers showed up. Once they got through with me, I got it down to a manageable 125,000 words. Today, it sits at about 107,000 and I am still trying to weed about another 3-4 thousand out of it by getting rid of overused adverbs and adjectives...

Amazing what we really do not need...

Best of luck to you...