So... the whole Lifetime movie / crime of passion scenario where some maniac jealous ex comes after the new guy, I straight up lived that shit yesterday morning. Walking to my car to head to work, the ex hubby for a girl I'm casually seeing is lying in wait for me by my car. Launches a surprise attack, opens my car door brandishing a modest but nonetheless menacing looking black blade.
Note 1: You know how people say your life flashes before your eyes in potentially fatal circumstances? I can't say that happened. Nothing flashed before my eyes except the knife, which I promptly jumped out of the car and went for.
After some time struggling on the ground for the knife, then struggling on our feet for the knife, some of my neighbors started to take note of my string of loud profanities and began checking on the commotion. I separated myself from my attacker and he put the knife in his back pocket in the presence of witnesses, as well as taking off his gloves and putting them in his front pockets. Gloves. In late May in San Antonio. Yeah...
So after cussing at my attacker some more I went upstairs as my next door neighbor, another witness, works at a hospital and was able to help out with some small cuts on my fingers that I didn't even notice were bleeding until she pointed it out.
Note 2: Your fingers can bleed a surprising amount. Apparently I left a trail of blood halfway across the parking lot, at least according to the CSI guy (they actually call him "the CSI guy," I kept waiting for Caruso to show up put on his glasses and give me a witty one-liner... YEAHHHH!!!). My neighbor was really cool about me bleeding into her sink too. I need to get her a gift basket or something.
Of course I called the police and you know what? Cops are cool people. Well, maybe just Texas cops. Or just San Antonio cops. Or just the cops I met yesterday, it's a small sample, but they were all very cool people. Friendly, funny, but still about their business. Very impressive. I gave multiple statements, went downtown and gave a statement to homicide detectives, picked out my attacker in a photo lineup... and that's where I met author Joe McKinney!
I casually mentioned that I was an aspiring author to one of the officers, and joked that now I get to see an actual police office and have a knife-fight story to boot. Write what you know and all that jazz. So the officer tells me that one of their own is Joe McKinney, whose name I recognized as an author of zombie novel Dead City. I asked if I could meet with Mr. McKinney and they said sure, so I went and talked to Mr. McKinney for a few minutes about writing horror. He gave me some tips on getting published, gave me kudos on the stuff I've sold, told me about a convention in Austin I should attend called Armadillo Con. Really cool guy.
Note 3: The officers also gave me lots of tips on the best guns for self defense as well as the best bullets. I have one, but I think I need to upgrade and obviously carry that bad boy around. They also advised me of a fairly recent (3-years-old) Texas law that says you DON'T need to license to have a gun in your house, or in your car, and carrying between those two places is a-ok. And that, given the charge sought is probably attempted murder, if I see this cat again in my neighborhood before they catch him, it wouldn't be unwise of me to presume self-defense and act accordingly. So yeah...
...That was my day yesterday. Oh, and I spent several hours in the emergency room per the instructions of the first response EMS dudes who thought I'd need stitches, only to be sent home with some band aids and a tetanus shot. Freaking healthcare, am I right? Eh?
Also, thanks in advance to all the well-wishers. If it seems I'm not taking this seriously and joking too much, well, that's how I cope. Otherwise I'd be in total, rage-filled, hunt-a-mother****er-down mode.
Note 1: You know how people say your life flashes before your eyes in potentially fatal circumstances? I can't say that happened. Nothing flashed before my eyes except the knife, which I promptly jumped out of the car and went for.
After some time struggling on the ground for the knife, then struggling on our feet for the knife, some of my neighbors started to take note of my string of loud profanities and began checking on the commotion. I separated myself from my attacker and he put the knife in his back pocket in the presence of witnesses, as well as taking off his gloves and putting them in his front pockets. Gloves. In late May in San Antonio. Yeah...
So after cussing at my attacker some more I went upstairs as my next door neighbor, another witness, works at a hospital and was able to help out with some small cuts on my fingers that I didn't even notice were bleeding until she pointed it out.
Note 2: Your fingers can bleed a surprising amount. Apparently I left a trail of blood halfway across the parking lot, at least according to the CSI guy (they actually call him "the CSI guy," I kept waiting for Caruso to show up put on his glasses and give me a witty one-liner... YEAHHHH!!!). My neighbor was really cool about me bleeding into her sink too. I need to get her a gift basket or something.
Of course I called the police and you know what? Cops are cool people. Well, maybe just Texas cops. Or just San Antonio cops. Or just the cops I met yesterday, it's a small sample, but they were all very cool people. Friendly, funny, but still about their business. Very impressive. I gave multiple statements, went downtown and gave a statement to homicide detectives, picked out my attacker in a photo lineup... and that's where I met author Joe McKinney!
I casually mentioned that I was an aspiring author to one of the officers, and joked that now I get to see an actual police office and have a knife-fight story to boot. Write what you know and all that jazz. So the officer tells me that one of their own is Joe McKinney, whose name I recognized as an author of zombie novel Dead City. I asked if I could meet with Mr. McKinney and they said sure, so I went and talked to Mr. McKinney for a few minutes about writing horror. He gave me some tips on getting published, gave me kudos on the stuff I've sold, told me about a convention in Austin I should attend called Armadillo Con. Really cool guy.
Note 3: The officers also gave me lots of tips on the best guns for self defense as well as the best bullets. I have one, but I think I need to upgrade and obviously carry that bad boy around. They also advised me of a fairly recent (3-years-old) Texas law that says you DON'T need to license to have a gun in your house, or in your car, and carrying between those two places is a-ok. And that, given the charge sought is probably attempted murder, if I see this cat again in my neighborhood before they catch him, it wouldn't be unwise of me to presume self-defense and act accordingly. So yeah...
...That was my day yesterday. Oh, and I spent several hours in the emergency room per the instructions of the first response EMS dudes who thought I'd need stitches, only to be sent home with some band aids and a tetanus shot. Freaking healthcare, am I right? Eh?
Also, thanks in advance to all the well-wishers. If it seems I'm not taking this seriously and joking too much, well, that's how I cope. Otherwise I'd be in total, rage-filled, hunt-a-mother****er-down mode.
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