The cliché life of a white middle-aged gay man

Write it. No one else has to read it.

Maxinquaye said:

But, being dragged into "the scene" again I can look at it with fresh eyes, and what strikes me is how clichéd it is. You can insert all the caveats here, that it is not representative, that it's not really how it is, that I need to look elsewhere for the true gay scene.

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I'm not so sure that it's any more cliché than het middle-age dating, in the since of a "scene."

If you look at club-dating for the middle-aged of any sort, it's pretty much the same.

Maxinquaye said:

Still, if I were to describe this scene in fiction, I wouldn't be able to help myself portraying it as shallow and a dead end. It includes a big portion of the gay men in this city, and it is natural that it is so - because if you want to meet others like you, you have to go where you are likely to find many like you.

Part of me want to write a novel about it, for no other reason than to provoke. I admit it. Still, you can't write a novel to provoke. You need more.

And to be honest, I'm not sure it would be received right. First, publishers would be reluctant. Second, some readers would use it to promote an anti-qltbg agenda.

Gah. How do you think about these things?

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Nothing says you can't write a provocative story that also has Story, you know?

Far From Heaven may arguably contain a lot of cliched "topics", but the Story about the people is compelling.

I mean, how would Real Characters move and exist in this shallow-dead-end culture you are experiencing? How has marginalization affected the LGBT culture? Is cultural landscaping intentional? Who are the Bad Guys (actual or perceived)?

How do Real Characters want to change their culture? Do they want change? Is it realistic to assume that the hook-up scene is an affront to the dignity of at least some of the men who also indulge in it? Or is it self-originating and self-perpetuating?

Can you conceive of a plot where Realistic Characters confront this and other personal issues head-on?

There are many ways that a story in such a setting might be engaging and satisfying, and many ways in which such a story might be self-indulgent and contrived.

If you write a Good Story, then a proper query would at least get you a hearing. Don't sell agents and publishers short.

Tacky people will always be with us...their mere presence should not be a deterrent to good story telling. Just imagine what your soul would be like if Madonna stopped writing after the drama over her Like a Prayer video (assuming, of course, that you do appreciate Madonna).

Honestly, I think any middle-aged dating scene is cliché by virtue of the nature of middle-aged dating.

Max - the old writing adage: "write what you know" comes to mind. If what you "know" is a middle-aged gay dating scene that is shallow and filled with loneliness, then perhaps you could use that to create an honest portrayal that will resonate with readers.

That's a subject that would personally turn me off as I tend to prefer stories where the characters are active in changing the circumstances that hold them back (the movie Boys in the Band and Andrew Holleran's Dancer from the Dance are two stories that really grated at me because of all the piteous self-loathing. On the other hand, John Rechy has a great line about gay men complaining that true love doesn't exist in our community: "We say we hate the world, but we imitate it constantly.")

So, from a personal POV, I'd want to see you take your story to a level of introspection. There are obstacles for sure in the middle-aged dating scene (gay or non-gay as Medievalist points out) but what makes your MC's story unique?