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Seeking Betas for 20K words novella (Mist/Susp). Links to a few chapters included.

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xparte

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Hi, all.

I’m looking for a kind soul to critique my 20K words novella. It’s about a dying gangster in a comatose-like state who’s trying to figure out what’s happened to him and make peace with God (in his own way). The story is unfolded from several different angles, and—be forewarned—it gets quite violent, though not graphic, with some profanity thrown in for good measure.

As you can see, it's not that long. Whatever your time or interests allow: line by line, dialogs, storyline deficiency or just general observations, I’d appreciate anything. Also, please do not take my remark about “kind souls” literally. I specifically ask you not to hold anything back.

I posted first four chapters in Mystery/Thriller/Suspense SYW. Please check them out to see if you’d like to read the whole piece:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=175670
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=178922

Thanks,

Andy
 

xparte

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No takers/givers? Sorry, I just hate it when my posts are about to dissapear off the face of the first page:)
 
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