2010: Can it really suck this bad?

Sweetleaf said:

...my marriage has nearly collapsed completely after ten years...

Click to expand...

If you can help it, try not to allow money troubles to wreck your marriage. It happens all too often to otherwise happy and strong couples. You need each other now more than ever, so work on a plan to overcome your financial distress instead of using it as a means to grow apart.

I know, easier said than done; but don't do anything rash that you will regret in the foreseeable future.

Good luck to you, and may you and your family find the strength to overcome this mess.

'09 sucked with the force of a black hole for me. '10 is looking much brighter. I might even be able to buy socks soon! Hang in there, sweetleaf, this too shall pass.

Oh, sweetie! * ginormous hugs*

Last year was the crap year for me. From a lot of other people's point of view, this year's been pretty shi**y, too.

My ex, who was supposedly "with me" trying to reconcile, went and married his half sister's half sister (yes, you read that correctly and yes, it is confusing and weird) over a weekend and let me find out about it over FB. I found out that the past ten years of my life was mostly filled with lies, and to top it off, I have to find a full-time job and deal with all the fallout this is causing with our four kids.

But, despite all that, I'm actually happier now than I have been in years. Because I've decided that my happiness doesn't start with what's going on around me, it starts in me. Finances suck, my ex is crazy, and the future is uncertain.
But my kids are healthy, smart, and beautiful. I know exactly how much my friends and family love me. I have a place like AW to come to to laugh, and rant, and generally be encouraged.

And we are SO here for you, Sweetie. If you need to rage or commiserate or just shoot the breeze so you can forget your problems for a while, you can always let me know.

It may sound trite or cliché, but things will get better. Even though it doesn't seem like it right now.

Never - and I mean never, ever! - tempt the gods by saying anything that even remotely resembles 'what else could go wrong?'

They will show you.

Hang in there, though. Ol' Boy and I had a stretch of about... oh... gods. Thirteen years where it seemed all we did was bury those we loved, and most of them after long, painful illnesses. Nothing since has sucked as bad as the stretch of darkness from 1987 through 2000.

My misery was drawn out between 2007-2009, but so far 2010 is looking brighter. First my mom died, then I found out I have MS, then my dad died, then my daughter spent a month on life support. It sucked the big one and more than once I thought I was receiving some sort of cosmic punishment.

The fact of the matter is that shit happens...to everyone. It's hard to see that when you're smack in the middle of it. Try to hold onto the important stuff and remember that over time, everything changes. Hopefully, one day you and your hubby will be having a nice dinner for your 20-something anniversary and laughing about the year when it seemed like it was all falling apart and you existed on a diet of ramen noodles and hot dogs. Without the bad times we wouldn't truly be able to appreciate the wonder of an "ordinary" day.

Hang tough, Sista!
Hugs,
km

Do hang in. It will get better. Trite and all that, but true.

I would give you this hug if I could



I would do this for you if I could



Try and keep this sort of hope...

Nothing much to add to what everybody else has already said.

Just that I'm sure there are a lot of people here who wish you well (me included, of course) and hope very much that things get better for you soon.

Happiness is a state of mind. Fallen does not mean broken, and when you stand - you'll stand powerful.

*Hugs*

Sweetleaf said:

Earthquakes, mudslides, plane crashes, volcanoes...

Click to expand...

This is the hangover you get after eight years of Republican mismanagement and greed.

Yes.

Sweetleaf said:

Earthquakes, mudslides, plane crashes, volcanoes...

Click to expand...

Julie Worth said:

This is the hangover you get after eight years of Republican mismanagement and greed.

Click to expand...

Do countries other than the US have a Republican party?

I can lay a lot at the door of Republican mismanagement, but I don't believe the catastrophes listed above fall into that list.


How are you doing now, Sweetleaf? I hope things are smoothing out for you.

Last year was the worst year of my life, no doubt. I was hoping that some magic would work in my favor and at the stroke of midnight January 1st all my problems were going to be solved and 2010 was going to be better.

Well it's now May and my husband still can not find a job and we are close to losing the house. Before all this went down I felt like the mature one, the 21 year old that had her whole life figured out. Now I just feel like the 22 year old helpless child who wants her mommy.

We are waiting for a call back from three jobs today so my fingers are crossed.

::hugs:: first off.

I find that life events follow a bell curve. What goes down, must come up. If it got worse, there is a better from here.

Also - check out the HAMP program. My friend's parents ended up saving their house on this. I am no homeowner; I don't know the details of it, but it ended up being the only way they had to save the house - and it came through for them.

While it's an old adage, where there's a will, there is a way. Keep going.

Two deaths by suicide last year. Illness and depression. Conflict with family and some co-workers all combined for one hell of a year.
2010 so far has been ok for what it is, but I ain't jumpin up and down with joy or anything.
To quote my mom, 'life was never meant to be easy.' These words ring true to me.

Still I see a lot more in the hospital. So yeah I am still thankful in many ways.

It's incredibly hard to keep your head above water some days. On Sunday I just about decided I must be depressed or something and then I stopped and thought, oh forget that, I'm having the most discouraging time of my life.

And there you have it. It's pretty rough right now around the world. I've gone from thinking I'm going to have to file bankruptcy to realizing that I just have to take it one day at a time and maybe I will in six months, but for now, my nose is above the water and I'm breathing.

And when all else fails, this ALWAYS makes me smile.

Whenever things appear especially bleak, I consider how much worse it can be, which helps a little to brighten current prospects.

I'll never forget how I was complaining to a good friend once about the problems I was having with my oldest son. The boy was spinning out of control it seemed, getting into one fix after another and wouldn't listen to his old man even if it meant saving his life.

My friend was quiet for a time, then said, "Could be worse."

I remembered too late that he'd lost his boy some years earlier to a drug overdose. I felt like a heel and apologized.

He said, "Don't tell me you're sorry. That means nothing. Use it to deal with your own son's problems, okay?"

Silver King said:

Whenever things appear especially bleak, I consider how much worse it can be, which helps a little to brighten current prospects.

I'll never forget how I was complaining to a good friend once about the problems I was having with my oldest son. The boy was spinning out of control it seemed, getting into one fix after another and wouldn't listen to his old man even if it meant saving his life.

My friend was quiet for a time, then said, "Could be worse."

I remembered too late that he'd lost his boy some years earlier to a drug overdose. I felt like a heel and apologized.

He said, "Don't tell me you're sorry. That means nothing. Use it to deal with your own son's problems, okay?"

Click to expand...

Oh my gosh, SK. What a humbling experience that was for you. I've had a few of them the last couple weeks and I just keep reminding myself of what I do have, that's tangible and I don't look down the road too far. It keeps things in perspective.

You never know what's around the corner that is wonderful and good and can change things in the snap of a moment.

Sweetleaf said:

Okay, so my major crisis is over. The bank has agreed to give us a three month mortgage repayment holiday, so we can use that extra money to finish the house and get it on the market. I've also heard back from a real estate agent who's valued our property at the amount we need - not quite as much as we'd like, but enough for us to move to where we want to be.

So things are looking up again. Maybe I'll start sleeping again and my health will improve now.

Thanks everyone for the support.

Click to expand...

I've found the best remedy for getting some sleep, is to remember that I'm not all powerful and I can't control everything and I'm not a failure because the economy took a tailspin just as I lost a job and my house is almost upside down in value thanks to falling real estate prices.

I'm taking this on one day at a time. My youngest is moving out in three weeks and I'll be on my own so I'm even thinking of getting roommates to help me pay for the house until such time as the market improves.

There's always alternatives.