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View Full Version : Beta for fantasy novel -- "Dagger in the Air"



lachlan
04-23-2010, 11:26 PM
I've got a complete beta that's made the rounds and never really attracted any attention. I think the problem is structural, but I can't be sure. 90,000 words, but very willing to send a chapter so you can decide if you want to read more.

If you saw it in a bookstore, there'd be a woman in Musketeer uniform (please oh please draw her like she's written -- tough, experienced, and a little weary), possibly a dragon in the background, and jacket copy like this:

Money in Aquitane is little bits of tin or unmarked bars of gold, useless for coin tosses. So people who can't make up their mind toss a knife in the air, and see which way it points when it comes down. One such is Captain Dorothea Blake, Lady of Blake Manor and part-time bounty hunter. Her life is equal parts making the payroll, keeping her manor repaired, and grabbing a few precious weeks with her husband every few months. It's not much, but she's content. Then disaster strikes.

She gets promoted.


Edit: Add: the setting is pseudo-Europe in the pseudo-17th century, except it's a matriarchy.

JayD
04-23-2010, 11:51 PM
Well, consider me hooked. This will be my first beta read but I know the steps, so if you don't mind letting a newbie take a look then feel free to pass me the first chapter and we'll see how it goes.

I'll send you a PM with my e-mail address

JayD

lachlan
04-24-2010, 01:13 AM
On it's way! Thanks!

Omar
04-25-2010, 01:37 PM
o.O

I wouldn't mind having a look at the first chapter, unless you're only after the one reader? :P

lachlan
04-25-2010, 04:46 PM
Sure! JayD gave me some real food for thought, but (as he very gently pointed out) the chapter needs an overhaul, so I need all the help I can get. Can I put it in an email or a PM?

Omar
04-26-2010, 05:51 PM
Sure thing. PM will do.

lachlan
04-26-2010, 09:11 PM
On its way! Thanks!

tinapickles
05-01-2010, 08:34 PM
Hey, new here too, but not new to the "workshopping" aspect of writing! If you'd like to PM me the first chapter or so, I can take a look.

lachlan
05-02-2010, 05:24 AM
On its way, tinapickles! Thanks!