I know you generalised (I said in my intro) but that generalisation - which is a synopsis btw - is all I had to go on, so I went on it. And from that I'd say start at the party. That's where the real change seems to happen.
If you want specifics from us you have to give US specifics. My ESP isn't turned on today
And yes I know it's rough when someone goes through your plot and says huh? or are you sure? or *rolls eyes* - I know because this last week several people have shredded my synopsis. But not shredded me, shredded
my representation of my MS. What I said was only -
only mind - my take on what you posted here, as I said in my intro.
You are forgiven.
If they don't work, cut them and start with what DOES work. Backstory can be woven subtly in from there. Start with change.
If I were to start with change, that means I'm going back to my 700-year-old battle. The problem is that part of that change involves a shift in culture, which as I've said before, is very different from our own. And yes, I can weave backstory in the action pretty easily, but I can't do that with world-building. That's a whole different ballgame.
For starters, I'm not even using normal European broadswords her. But I am using historically real swords. The only weapon the common man would recognize is the katana.
I'd feel a lot better if I knew I was guaranteed to have pictures in this. Maybe I should just explore the movie script route...
RACES OF MEER’ET
Nearly all of the nations of Meer’Et have an aristocratic society, each social class is defined by race. Every nation has the same class and race. The only difference between each nation is the type of Quann that rule them.
So none of these races have their own nation.
Quann rule the nations, forming the highest class of people in the aristocratic societies. They make up government officials, leaders, ambassadors, and most of the military officers in the army. All Quann are born with wings. The Quann worship the Divine Being as the Great King. They believe that they are the sole, true interpreters of the Divine Being’s will.
Sheer make up the landlords, tax collectors, employers, small business owners, some of the military officers in the army, and leaders of regiments. The Sheer are short compared to the other people, but are a little stocky in nature, similar to midgets. The Sheer worship the Divine Being as the Competitor for Souls.
Myth’Hye are the middle-class workers. They “freemen”, paid workers and servants. They have a variety of light brown and tan skin, eye, and hair colors. The Myth’Hye worship the Divine Being as the Great Craftsman.
Ekkli are the peasants, servants, and famers who generally cannot read or write. They are like Myth’Hye, only they have white hair and very pale skin. The Ekkli worship the Divine Being as the Father.
Youth’ik are the lowest class of people in Meer’Et, equivalent to slaves and the homeless. They are the outcasts of society, made up of members from the other groups. They generally believe the Divine Being doesn’t exist or has abandoned them.
Dragons – These beings had a wingspan of forty feet from tip-to-tip. Their large and thick-leathery wings quickly regenerate after being torn or ruptured. Their necks are nine feet in length, tails almost twice that. They came in various sizes, some with fur, some with skin, but most with scales. Their scales were close and tight, and sometimes came in as many as three layers. Their muscles were dense and bones were likened to carbon fibered steel. Their tails were either prehensile, whip-like, or had sharp barbs or a scythe.
These Dragons had a large appetite, eating as much as three tons of food a day, depending on their activity. This food was then digested, the juices in the stomach could be transferred into several bladders in the form of methane. This gave the Dragons the ability to fly. They can also use these methane reserves to breath fire. However, breathing fire expends a great deal of the gasses keeping them aloft, so breath too much fire, and they will be grounded, unless they could eat. Eat too much, and they will be weighted down for fight, and unable to digest as quickly.
Over seven hundred years before the time of this story’s events, the Dragons interpreted the will of the Divine Being to the people of Meer’Et. They were respectfully called the Prophets, and they brought the messages to the Quann, who then gave them to the other people, and ruled a set of laws given to them by the Dragons.
But at one time, some of the Dragons began to deceive the Quann. They lied to the Quann and began to sow greed and mistrust in their hearts. Soon, the Quann began to mistrust each other and the Dragons, sparking the War Between Quann.
NATIONS OF MEER’ET
NATIONS OF SPRING
Ty – A monarchy ruled by the Fey-Quann. The next ruler is determined by the king’s eldest son (or daughter) who marries a suitor from the aristocratic governors, military leaders, officers, or castle staff of Fey-Quann. Ty encompasses the largest and fruitful land mass in Meer’Et, and thus has the largest population on the continent.
Fey-Quann: Quann who have four, fairy-like wings. Their wing color is usually a lighter shade of their hair color, with numerous different shades. Their wings allow them a great deal of flight mobility—flying backwards, up, down, with easy takeoffs and landings. However, they are very frail and cannot glide easily.
Frett – A monarchy ruled by the Aeshi-Quann.
Aeshi-Quann: Quann who are born with golden wings like angels. They typically have hair that have golden or brownish shades, and are slightly taller and larger than other people. Because they are light in bone structure, they have the highest altitude of flight over all the other Quann, with a fast dive speed. They can glide very well, but expend a great deal of energy if they try to fly fast for too long.
Zephda - A monarchy ruled by the Vyzen-Quann. The culture and military organization are almost identical to Ty.
Vyzen-Quann: People like Fey-Quann, only with dragonfly type wings. They are faster fliers than Fey-Quann, and can fly horizontally better, but they do not have an easy time landing or maneuvering vertically.
NATIONS OF WINTER
Laddos – An absolute dictatorship headed by the Gjyn-Quann. This nation exists north in a mountain range and is currently undergoing reorganization into a Communist-type state, in which everyone is equal and all wealth and property is to be shared.
Gjyn-Quann: Very large and rough-skinned Quann. Their wings are wide and leathery, and they have a great deal of strength, making them the most powerful fliers with the fastest dive speed. However, they cannot fly as high as Aeshi-Quann, nor very fast, and they have a hard time taking off. They are much larger than the other people, with dark, empty eyes, giving them a menacing appearance.
Kon’Lay – Once separated as Kon and Lay, the two warring tribes headed by the Nabalk-Quann set their differences and united to fight the first War Between Quann. It was after they were defeated that the Quann generally believed that warfare was becoming obsolete. They are renowned for raising herds of Ma’teys as labor beasts and reside in the barren drifts just east of the northern mountains.
Nabalk-Quann set their differences and united to fight the first War Between Quann. It was after they were defeated that the Quann generally believed that warfare was becoming obsolete. They are renowned for raising herds of Ma’teys as labor beasts and reside in the barren drifts just east of the northern mountains.
NATIONS OF FALL
League of Hah’myan – After the Rebellion Against Wings, a large group of Sheer, Myth’Hye, Ekkli, and Youth’ik tried to form their own nation. They are a democratic republic with a governing council that makes the laws and declares war, and a Prime Minister who enforces the laws and leads the war effort. They are known for having an excellent Navy and excel in technology.
Tarsis – A democratic monarchy ruled by the Zsho-Quann. There are four houses, like political parties, that are voted to control Tarsis.
Zsho-Quann: Quann with butterfly-like wings. They have a dark hair color and thin eyes. They can glide for short distances with the wind, and are excellent at maneuvering by making quick turns in place, and can land and takeoff better than all the other Quann.
NATIONS OF SUMMER
Hive – Ruled by the Chtli-Quann. This society lives on a massive island southwest of the continent the story revolves around. Closer to the equator, Hive resides in a tropical island kept forested by the rains and storms of the sea. Almost all of the inhabitants are female Quann, save the ten percent male population. The Chtli-Quann do own a number of slaves consisting of Myth’Hye. These servants are bred for food and some slave labor. In their history, they were harvesters of medicines and luxury items from the Islands of Summer. These islands are covered in tropical jungle filled with exotic animals of all shapes and sizes.
Hives form city-states consisting of layers of circular ziggurats that are built out of the side of cliffs, hanging from mountains, or rising up to the sky on the ground. They do not live united and their constant battles and simple technology keep them secluded. They believe that the Divine Being represents a life-essence or cycle of order. They call this essence Tlopillyhanti, roughly translated as “the great breath cycle in life”.
Chtli-Quann: These Quann have an insectoid appearance, with four arms (two of which have talons on the ends instead of hands), antennae, four eyes, and mouths at the end of their chin with four, double-jointed teeth. They excel at speed, being the fastest Quann in Meer’Et, with the fastest climb rate and take off. They are also of the most numerous, numbering a few hundred thousand. There are more Chtli-Quann than all the other Quann combined. But their technology is simple, and they do not believe in bearing weapons or armor.
Their language is also very basic, but extremely complex. They have no alphabet. Instead, they have a word for every description possible, and a list of words for intensities. Forming sentences have to be done in a specific order of strict grammar rules, without any dialects or accents. A whole paragraph of descriptions can be made in as little as one sentence, while a single sentence can be as complex as a whole paragraph. In that light, they are very fast speakers. In addition, they do not have metaphors or riddles. Everything said or written is literal.
CREATURES AND FAUNA
Black Skin – A disease bacterium that feeds upon dead flesh. It is extremely contagious through contact. The bacteria emit acid that melt the skin cells, killing them. The bacteria will then consume them, and reproduce. When they die, their decomposed bodies will shrivel up and harden, sticking to the surface of the flesh. This causes an itching sensation and produces a black rash, from where the name comes from. The itching worsens the effect, as the dead skin cells are removed, allowing the bacteria to penetrate deeper, and also invade the skin under the fingernails. It takes about two to three weeks for the Black Skin disease to start severely affecting those who are infected, and causes serious stinging pain. Treatments would be easy, but if the bacteria are ingested or have entered the bloodstream, the condition worsens, and will become fatal within days. If directly inhaled, mucus in the lungs can usually contain them unless inhaled too much. This produces a nauseating gas within the lungs that will render the person unconscious after about three weeks of infection. Then, the death may take over two months, as the bacteria slowly eat the body away, until vital organs are eventually consumed to death.
The only cure for Black Skin once the infection is too severe is a complex and expensive process that is made from processed Glowing Moss and rare crystalyte. The chemical reactions will convert the Black Skin to repair damaged cells and build them back up, thus reversing the process.
Bombardier Sucker – A spherical, acidic animal about 3.4 inches in diameter. It is covered in suckers, which it retracts and sucks in air around trees and rocks to move. When provoked, it will release a puff of acid that is filled with stinging needles; very harmful and disruptive to respiratory systems. When it moves in a threatening display, its normally grayish tones will turn lime green. When bitten or struck, it will explode, releasing a toxic slime that is filled with stinging needles. Also within such acid are the male or female components with which it can reproduce when another crawls along and sucks them up.
Dangle Frog – A frog about 4 inches small. It hangs from the bottom of tree branches in the Summer Islands. It feeds on the very fast-moving viper ants that crawl along the floor. To prevent itself from falling in the ant swarm, it will stick its tongue to the top of the tree and use it like a bungee cord to snag a few ants in its suction cup, sticky webbed feet.
Forest Demon – A double-jointed carnivore six to seven feet long. They have pitch black fur with silver, wave-pattern highlights. They are adept at climbing, able to stand upright and jump and swing between branches using their rounded paws, or run quickly on their knuckles. As very intelligent hunters, they hunt in packs of six to twelve; one group scares the prey while the other ambushes it. Because they are social creatures and not territorial, they will sometimes form into large packs nicknamed “shadows”, because of their large numbers. When this occurs, food supplies can run low and provoke the creatures to attack villages. Their fur is extremely luxurious and highly expensive, as the animals tend to be very hard to kill, much less catch, tame, or skin.
Glow Moss – Moss that gives off a dark bluish glow. They can be found on trees in the Hanging Forest on the ground and roots of the willow trees, where they absorb the water dripping from the branches. They can also be found in rivers and lakes where Spinefish will feed on them. They can also be found in the cold, northern region of Winter.
Ice Beetle – A white, hard-shelled insect about three inches long. It has incisors that rapidly vibrate, allowing it to plow through the snow. It feeds on moss and carrion; its feces provide more food for the glow moss.
Ma’tey – A hunchbacked ape-like creature that stands about nine feet tall. It is coated in large amounts of blubber that is covered in thick white fur. As omnivores, they are able to survive the cold region of Winter by eating figs, licking moss, or eating dead animals. They have large, long eye slits and use thermal vision. Their hands are long and thin with six digits. These hands, though very thin, are often covered by a layer of blubber that sinks over their knuckles. Most of the Ma’tey are domestic as they are captured for food, clothing, and beasts of burden by the tribes of Kon’Lay.
Moss Spider –Five-legged bugs about the size of a human hand. They actively hunt their prey, with a pair of incisors at the end of each leg. These incisors retract for grasping and feeding. They cannot jump well, but can climb anything not solid stone by digging their incisors into objects. Their venom is very weak, leaving a reddening mark where they walk or bite on a creature. However, when they do eat, they will tear into their prey like a piranha.
Spinefish – A freshwater fish in Ty that range in length from Their fins have barbed bones that are exposed much like fingernails that extend in serrated patterns. As scavengers, they swim very close to the bottom of lakes and rivers so that they can eat while protecting their bodies from predators. When something bites them, their fins flux, and the barbed claws detach from the fin which will grow back later. Most predators will die from trying to eat one of these fish. Since Spinefish swim together in large groups, it is difficult for anything to get a hold of one. The fish are light red in tint with yellow, jagged marks around their bodies.
Spin-Tail Flycatcher – A bird about 3 inches large, 4.5 inches with the tail flat. This flycatcher is a bug eater that will hop along the ground, watching for insects flying overhead. It will then jump; spinning their tail feathers as well as their wings like helicopter rotors to remain suspended in the air, and catch the prey, somewhat like a more powerful humming bird. However, it saves energy by hopping along the ground, and is capable of short, true flight in this manner as its wings rapidly rotate to give it direction. The bird is native to the Nations of Spring and Fall.
Mushroom Tree – A two-storied, hollow mushroom. These mushrooms give a faint glow at night given off from the sunlight they absorb. Very fragile and sensitive to extreme temperatures, they only exist in the Nations of Spring and parts of Summer. Since they grow in large groups, Ekkli will make villages out of them, because they do not have to pay for building materials or lighting.
Hanging Tree – any number of common trees that are soft and dense, about nine to twenty feet in height, depending on location and type. Hanging trees have branches that reach outward like other trees, but do not have leaves. Instead, the branches reach outward and grow very thin and light, spiraling down like finger-sized hair curls that almost reach the ground. These strips absorb bits of nutrients from the air and rainfall as the fall, feeding on tiny particles from the low gravity area. They are commonly kept for paper, by shaving the bark into sheets, giving an almost limitless supply. They are classified by color, the most common being bright colors like white, cherry red, and dark green, depending on area where a combination of food particles might give them their color.
WEAPONS OF MEER’ET
Hand Weapons
Early weapons used in Meer’Et were simple straightened weapons like crude clubs, swords, and spears. Such weapons were few and rarely used, for the Dragons and Quann were able to control the populations.
Now, straightened weapons are looked down upon as barbaric in nature. For the longest time, weapons were designed with class and elegance in mind, symbols of position and wealth. Most nations have developed their own martial arts systems and each bears a different sword with curvature nature in it. Straightedge and staff weapons are still produced, as they are cheap and easy, but are given to the lower class of warriors and people for common defense and war.
Knives and small daggers are the exception. As good knives are considered very difficult to manufacture, they are rarer sights, used as personal defense weapons used by the most esteemed and rich.
The Quann have condemned the use of ranged weapons on their own persons, as it is considered “cowardly” to be engaging enemies from a distance. This ideology probably evolved from when the Quann became more interested in duels rather than bloody battlefield combat.
Single-handed weapons are typically light and easy to wield, as the handle is only long enough for a single hand. Hand-and-a-half swords have a handle just long enough for two hands, and are able to be wielded one handed or two. Two-handed swords are larger, longer, and/or bulkier, and often require both hands to be wielded effectively.
Frettican Dao – A single-handed sword that has a slight arc near the center where the blade curves upward. The last few inches of the blade is slightly thicker than the rest. This weapon fits the Frettican style of combat, where attacks are made at a slight distance between them and the opponent, and a deep gash can be made after a stab, followed by a jerk or by a strong slash.
Hah’myan Cutlass – A single-handed sword that has a slight arc from the handle to the tip. The handle usually has extra protection around the fingers that can be used for punching. The weapon was created by the shorter Hah’myan people, who are not as large or long as most of the Quann. It’s notorious for use at sea onboard a ship where many full swings cannot be made. Thus the Hah’myan sailors are known as some of the best combatants in tight spaces.
Laddosian Khopesh – A single-handed sword that arcs steeply downward a few inches from the hilt. The tip has a small “hook” on the topside pointed up towards the user, and the tip is straight from the handle.
Laddosian Voulge – A thick, curved blade attached to the end of a weapon, like a bayonet. These blades are attached to the ends of Gjyn ranged weapons, such as crossbows and flamers.
Tarsisian Katana – A hand-and-half sword with a stead arc from the handle. This weapon has the longest reach of the other blades, but is also thin.
Ty Sappara – A hand-and-a-half sword that has a straight blade from the handle for a few inches and then gently curves downward, the tip pointing straight from handle.
(There's also a few other heavier artillery weapons but they're easy enough to describe.)