Need Help/Big City Life

I lived in Philly for four years (college). It's louder than you think. You have to get used to crossing roads when the drivers don't actually care whether or not there's anything in front of them. There are so many stores. And so many people.

Just offering one little snippet. Remember that even in a big cities it's not all like downtown (or what you generally see on TV of a large city). There are neighborhoods within large cities that are somewhat like small towns to themselves.

Agreed. Center-city Philly has a totally different atmosphere than just-off-campus-west-philly.

The first thing that comes to mind is traffic. When I was kid, we used to drive from Los Angeles to Morro Bay (Central California; it's a small town). My brother always said he wished we could live in Morro Bay. My father's comment: No work. Cities often have big businesses, and lots of businesses. In Los Angeles, I could pretty much go 10-15 minutes in any direction and find some kind of mall. And of course, there were tons of aerospace companies everywhere. But that brings traffic. It was really common to find areas where the traffic came to a stop. We didn't have air conditioning in the car, so we'd sit sweltering in 90 degree heat, amidst all the other cars spewing off exhaust. I could literally look out the window while I was on the freeway and see the smashed cans on the shoulder because we going so slowly.

But the traffic in L.A. is mannerly. The traffic in Washington DC isn't. We're truly a mixing pot--military, diplomats, tourists, politicians, foreign visitors. Some people will cut across three lanes to make a left or right turn. And if it rains? Traffic instantly snarls up. Even if it's a sprinkle. We have a place called The Mixing Bowl, which is an area where a bunch of freeways converge. With places like that, you have to be paying attention because you could easily end up going in really the wrong direction. I would say traffic snarls up there, but in honestly, going north into DC, the traffic is backed up easily twenty miles as a matter of course. That doesn't include accidents, stalled cars, etc. We also have a strange area called Seven Corners, which is literally an intersection of streets with seven corners. My father--who is from Los Angeles--couldn't get over it. Seven Corners was like a strange alien life form.

Our traffic is so bad, we have a traffic advice column: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/metro/columns/drgridlock/

Then there's DC itself. Very poor signage. One time, when I was in the military, I had to pick up the commander's car in DC. It was this new, sleek black car with half a dozen antennas on the back. It looked like a car that someone would want to steal. I'm trying to find 66, and I'm lost because the signs aren't there. So I'm driving all over the place, looking for signs, and these guys are trying to flag me down to "help" me. No, thank you. I eventually found my way out by taking a chance at a fork and found a sign.

Down on South Capital Street (very poor area, but two Naval facilities and an army post are there), I was making a right turn and noticed that there was a body outline on the sidewalk ...

An off-topic (kind of funny) comment. I live in a metro area of a little over one-million, so it's not a huge city; still, there is always construction of one sort or the other going on. When I talk to or visit friends who live in a small county, they will sometimes mention some exciting news like a new Burger King going in. If there are two or three of them gathered, they might actually sit and discuss it like it was a major addition to area (which, I suppose, it is).

I live in LA. This morning at 3 am the cops were doing a helicopter chase nearby and the copter kept circling overhead. Not that fun. It's kinda smoggy here, but not as bad as it used to be, and probably not as bad as you might imagine. People have car accidents ALL THE TIME. There are parks all over the place. And frozen yogurt shops. For some reason we are obsessed with frozen yogurt shops, primarily Pinkberry and knockoffs of Pinkberry. If you're too poor for $4 yogurt, guys walk around many neighborhoods with freezer carts dinging a bell and selling ice cream pops for $1. I live in Hollywood, and it is overrun with tourists. The gym I go to is next door to a Madame Tussaud's wax museum

Within a few blocks of me there are Oaxacan, Thai, Indian, and Armenian restaurants, Starbucks, Jamba Juice, Quiznos, vegan food, Cold Stone Creamery, a place disturbingly called Transylvania Restaurant (home of the Dracula Burger), 3 grocery stores, and 3 drugstores.

alleycat said:

An off-topic (kind of funny) comment. I live in a metro area of a little over one-million, so it's not a huge city; still, there is always construction of one sort or the other going on. When I talk to or visit friends who live in a small county, they will sometimes mention some exciting news like a new Burger King going in. If there are two or three of them gathered, they might actually sit and discuss it like it was a major addition to area (which, I suppose, it is).

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The outrage / etc when they proposed ( don't know if they have) put a Mac D's in the souk in Marrakesh! Proposed in a fourteenth century building...


Op - it depends what city - no two are exactly alike. I could tell you about Manchester UK but that won't do you much good if you're setting your peice in New York

Kitty Pryde said:

I live in LA. This morning at 3 am the cops were doing a helicopter chase nearby and the copter kept circling overhead. Not that fun.

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That's better than what happened where I'm at. I come home and find the street's closed off. Fire trucks and police everywhere. Right by where where I live, they had yellow tape up everywhere, and there were at least 20 police cars. Not a fire. The police stayed long, long after the fire left. I went back out and when I saw the news crew, I knew what happened: It was a body. A man committed suicide after shooting his girlfriend--and most oddly, that crime occurred near where I work, more than ten miles away!

Adelaide, the city near me, is a city of 1 million people, which I found surprising. I didn't think it would be that many.

Lots of people though, compared to where I live. I was in Adelaide the other day, and the main mall strip there has a big intersection at the end of it where you can cross the road. It reminded me of images I've seen of Japan intersections, where there are people all over the road crossing to get to where they're going - literally the entire road full of people.

Aside from all the people, the stores are better stocked and generally bigger. There are more sex shops, and the city actually has strip clubs, which most suburbs don't.

There are also parades every so often, which are big events and usually televised.

Oh, and the city is the only place I know of in South Australia that has a goth club (it has 3!) so it wins the state.

The city centre isn't all that big, and there aren't really many places to live, but around the city centre there's a fair amount of housing.

I live near Atlanta and have been there several times. It's one of the worst cities as far as traffic goes. Especially during rush hour on Fridays. I hear about a crash every day. It also has a decent amount of crime; I see reports in the newspaper of someone getting killed whether by murder or accident every week.

But, Atlanta has its upsides, too. The environment isn't terrible. I mean, there's still a good bit of crime and whatnot, but overall, it's a great city. There are a lot of businesses downtown, and most of the people that work in Atlanta live outside the actual city limits, so there isn't as much housing as you'd expect.

Noise, high energy, great night life, more choices where I grew up, The City aka San Francisco.

I don't live in a huge city, but I live in a crowded city. It's a relatively small area with way too many people crammed in. It's dirty, and cold, and traffic is absolutely incredibly bad. We are the home of crappy drivers. There are also a lot of potholes all over the roads. It's always hard to find parking.

But, that's probably not too helpful. I'm in Alberta. The biggest city in my vicinity which I have regularly visited is Edmonton, where the worlds largest mall is situated. (At least it was the world's largest mall last I heard. I wouldn't be surprised, though maybe a little disappointed, if somewhere else an even bigger one has sprouted up recently). Anyway, that place can get so crowded it's impossible to walk without bumping into someone. And people have a tendency to walk slooowly, or stand still, as if they own the place. Also, you're constantly being confronted by people trying to sell things, promote shows, or, as I recently learned, give you "FREE HUGS". Many stores are duplicated in this mall. There is a massive movie theatre, an ice skating rink, an animal cage (For a while it held a plethora of pink flamingos, then it was three toed sloths, and currently it holds a bunch of lemurs), a dolphin/sea lion tank which they do shows in, a mini-golf course, a segway track, an indoor amusement park (where I had one of the worst experiences of my life) and an enormous waterpark. There are fountains all over, a giant whale statue thing, and themed areas. Plus all the hundreds of stores and restaurants. You also see all kinds of interestingly dressed people. Rest assured, spending a day walking around in there can be killer on your legs/feet, especially as an out-of-townie who's A) not used to it and B) trying to get a lot done in a short amount of time.

I'm not sure any of that is really helpful. But since I, like you, am not used to life in a huge city, I can testify to the distinctly different "feeling" of walking around a huge place as compared to a smaller city. It's kind of exciting to have all those interesting things around you. It's much more difficult to get bored, but much easier to spend a lot of money. It's also more fun to just sit and "people-watch," since there are so many odd and unusual and beautiful and eccentric and generally a bigger variety of people. All in all it's a pretty 'magical' feeling place, at least in comparison to what I'm used to. I just get the impression that there is an intent to create an interesting, pleasing atmosphere, which doesn't exist where I live. Of course there is also the intent to sell as many things to as many people as possible, but where doesn't that exist?

Midnight Star said:

I live near Atlanta and have been there several times. It's one of the worst cities as far as traffic goes. Especially during rush hour on Fridays. I hear about a crash every day. It also has a decent amount of crime; I see reports in the newspaper of someone getting killed whether by murder or accident every week.

But, Atlanta has its upsides, too. The environment isn't terrible. I mean, there's still a good bit of crime and whatnot, but overall, it's a great city. There are a lot of businesses downtown, and most of the people that work in Atlanta live outside the actual city limits, so there isn't as much housing as you'd expect.

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This brings up another interesting point about all big cities - people who live outside them tend to have a different perspective of life inside, and people inside have a different perspective of life outside.

Midnight Star is "OTP," which means "outside the Perimeter," the highway that circles the city. The news often focuses on crime, fires, and traffic (in fact, I call the Sunday 12 o'clock news the "cuttin' and shootin' report"), so that affects an OTP's view of the city.

Those of us, like myself, who are "ITP," watch the same news and recognize that most of the crimes occur in bad neighborhoods that we would never be in for anything. But if something happens in Lilburn or Kennesaw, we tune it out as something that happened "out there."

mtrenteseau said:

This brings up another interesting point about all big cities - people who live outside them tend to have a different perspective of life inside, and people inside have a different perspective of life outside.

Midnight Star is "OTP," which means "outside the Perimeter," the highway that circles the city. The news often focuses on crime, fires, and traffic (in fact, I call the Sunday 12 o'clock news the "cuttin' and shootin' report"), so that affects an OTP's view of the city.

Those of us, like myself, who are "ITP," watch the same news and recognize that most of the crimes occur in bad neighborhoods that we would never be in for anything. But if something happens in Lilburn or Kennesaw, we tune it out as something that happened "out there."

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You definitely make a good point, not just about Atlanta, but about any city. People who live there have a different perspective of the city than those who don't. That goes for small towns, too.

I could be wrong, but it seems like you took my post as though i was complaining about Atlanta. Reading over it again, I kind of understand that. I love the city of Atlanta. In fact, I'd rather live there than in the suburbs. I was jus trying to give my perspective, and I was a little short on time.

Midnight Star said:

I could be wrong, but it seems like you took my post as though i was complaining about Atlanta. Reading over it again, I kind of understand that. I love the city of Atlanta. In fact, I'd rather live there than in the suburbs. I was jus trying to give my perspective, and I was a little short on time.

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I didn't take it as complaining. But it is a little OTP to lead off with the crime and traffic, and then talk about the shopping and nightlife.

A small city’s got that “friendly” atmosphere. Forget that in a big one, people just don’t have the time to be friendly. A small one has that “neighborly” atmosphere, in a big city most people don’t know their neighbors. A big city is a cacophony and hodge-podge of colors, sounds and smells. Depending what part of a big city, you could walk around awestruck or mesmerized. In a small city everybody knows the Korean, who owns the laundry, or the Italian who owns the pizzeria. In a big city there are whole ethnic neighborhoods. Traffic must move on, you just can’t pull over to talk to Joe. Diners are impersonal eating places where you don’t go for a chat. Stores carry stuff that won’t get to the small city for two years or so. Nightlife is something that doesn’t stop at midnight. Downtown area is a sea of people. You better use the bus or metro if you want to get somewhere on time. Parking would cost you as much as a dinner. Oh yea, before I forget, people do speak funny.

New Yorker here. We walk everywhere--and we walk FAST. Pedestrians always have the right of way on the street, and that's why we're not afraid to walk against a red light. Think of a NY sidewalk as a highway. You've lanes for varying speeds, and we hate being cut off by slower people. Especially tourists.

Oh god, the tourists. We're often annoyed by their behaviour. Why? They randomly stop in the middle of the sidewalk, tripping up people who just want to get where they're going. Or they take up the entire sidewalk by walking "tandem". Or they look EVERYWHERE except in front of them. Which can be dangerous, because in the big city you should always be aware of your surroundings.

As much as we don't seem to like each other, we accept otherwise uncomfortably bodily contact on public transit when things get crowded as something we have to deal with, no matter how unpleasant. But it gets worse in cities that are big AND densely populated. Try taking the train in China's big cities. It's so crowded on those trains at rush hour people are shoved and stuffed in like a tin of sardines. NO THANKS.

We seem crude, impatient, self-involved, etc...and we are. But they're survival traits here. This is the concrete jungle. In the jungle you have to be tough or the predators will come sniffing around. And in the big city, there's no shortage of predators in any subculture or social/professional setting. The person who's all smiles and overly helpful may be the one you need to watch out for, while the person who (only) looks like they've a chip on their shoulder and keeps glancing at you is only deciding whether to tell you that your fly is undone.

This is fun. I'll add more when I think of more.

I live in Belfast, which is a strange city that sort of bleeds out over a five mile radius. It comprises of City Centre - where the main shopping is, but there are residential streets between shopping precincts and it all sort of bleeds together quite strangely.

Then the Metro zone extends out through about 10 smaller townships, each part of Belfast but with their own unique names and shopping centres etc.

No matter where you are and at any hours you can always get good coffee, always. That's a pretty sweet thing about big cities. Going out for a beer Friday/Saturday night can turn into a major project.

I suggest watching all episodes of Seinfeld. You'll learn everything you need to know about big city life. There's more choices and opportunities but everything is also more complicated.

Have lived in both NYC and Los Angeles, among others, and there are huge differences between them (I still work in NYC every day, but live in suburban Connecticut now). Are there any specific aspects of city life you're looking to discover? Better yet, is there a specific city you'd like to know more about? We can toss a zillion factoids your way, but if you have a specific setting, it might be worth your while to narrow the focus a bit.

While I may not live in NYC, I do go there often to meet up with a friend who works there. I have to whole-heartedly agree with Third Person about the tourists. I've dubbed their type of walking as the "mall walk" because it happens there a lot too. It's as if they have all the time in the world to be in front of you. Places that tourists "must" go see tend to be very crowded and you feel like you're swimming through a mass of bodies rather than walking. You're not likely to get any where fast unless you're determined to, well, push your way through, in these places.

There's a lot of different types of places to go, particularly restaurants. While there are a lot of chain restaurants, it's a lot more fun to go find the smaller places that aren't in the main tourist areas. For instance, there was a small hummus restaurant that probably wouldn't hold more than 25 people, tops, but it had some really great food. My friend and I probably wouldn't have gone in if either one of us were on our own but we went in because it looked interesting to both of us.

Another thing, you're more likely to see homeless people lying out someplace, grabbing a chance to get some sleep. I've seen several crashed out in Penn Station (well, more accurately, Penn Terminal but most people just call it Penn Station). People also tend to ignore someone getting arrested right there in the middle of the sidewalk. But they will stop occasionally to listen to a street musician (aka busker), if they're really good.

You're also going to get a lot of street vendors, particularly in the touristy areas. Some are generally in one spot on a regular basis. A few actually have their wares in a blanket that ties up easily around the stuff so they can move to where the crowds are. Once they find someone who shows some interest, they'll open up their "shop", make their sales, and move on as necessary.

Linda Adams said:

Then there's DC itself. Very poor signage.

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"Very poor" is being kind. It's atrocious. And so small and discrete, as if we don't want our attention drawn to things like major roads. I don't understand it.

third person said:

Oh god, the tourists. We're often annoyed by their behaviour. Why? They randomly stop in the middle of the sidewalk, tripping up people who just want to get where they're going. Or they take up the entire sidewalk by walking "tandem". Or they look EVERYWHERE except in front of them. Which can be dangerous, because in the big city you should always be aware of your surroundings.

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YES. The tourists who stop in the middle of the sidewalk, who hog the poles on the subway (a bad behavior sadly not restricted to tourists), who stand on the walking side of the escalator (that's DC, not NYC). Get out of the way! I say this with a smile, really, usually. I've been a tourist in big cities often enough. I know it's all new to many of them and you don't automatically pick up on standard practices. I try to be patient and accepting, but sometimes it's really hard.

Maryn said:

We walk everywhere. Most women aren't stupid enough to do that in high heels, like they do on TV.

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Tennis shoes, any kind of flat with a comfy sole, you'll see them on women in nice suits, flowy dresses, etc. But there are those who still wear high heels. They clearly hate comfort.

I've seen the same homeless people on the same corners for years.

Almost everyone is from somewhere else. Lots of transplants.

Public transport smells like urine.