The First Ever AW Purple Prose Contest - Peanut Gallery

maestrowork · Aug 19, 2005

Inspired by the annual Bulwer-Lytton contest, here we have the first ever AW Purple Prose contest (aka FEAWPP):

* If you don't know what purple proses are, please do some research

Please specify your categories:

- Romance
- Science Fiction
- Mystery
- Horror
- Thriller/Suspense
- Western
- Erotica (* must put warning in subject line)
- Fantasy
- Literary

Rules:

- Each entry should contain only one paragraph, regardless of length

- Each entry should be as grammatically correct, without spelling errors, as possible -- bad writing doesn't mean you don't observe the rules

- Please refrain from being obscene, excessively vulgar, offensive, and no personal attacks

- One of the fun things to do is to turn a perfectly fine sentence or paragraph from your WIPs into purple proses. You may include the original so we can compare...

- No entry fees; you're free to give out rep points to worthy entries

- Deadline for the FIRST ROUND is September 15, 11:59 PM ET. Voting will commence immediately following the deadline.

- In the first round, we will pick FIVE finalists.

- Once the finalists are picked, we will go into the second round. More details to follow.

- You may enter more than one entry to increase your chances. Is it fair? No, but everyone can enter as many as they want, so I do think it's pretty fair.

- Prizes:
1) A bound copy of Atlanta Night
2) A signed copy of my new book, The Pacific Between (be the first to read it before its general release in January 2006)
3) A signed hardback copy of Sharon Maas's The Speech of Angels
There may be more prizes to come....

Read the entries or enter yours... here.

... Go!

DeniseK · Aug 20, 2005

Boy, I am feeling pretty silly being the only one who entered this. Isn't anyone else going to give it a shot?

JAlpha · Aug 20, 2005

I've actually placed in the Bulwer-Lytton Contest once, so I'm going to sit this contest out, but I will offer up my winning entry as an example of what would be considered purple prose for a contest of this nature.

It's hard to pick a specific category that my winning piece fell into, although I do like the category that I was placed in when the piece appeared in the anthology; it was called the "Ole Blue Wasn't Much of a Hunting Dog" category.

Here it is . . .

On that dusty day when the Wild Thing Diner surrendered its access road
to the new Route 9 interchange, Gus, the cook, and Fritzie, the waitress
got it on across the cigarette-scarred top of table 8, while the spoon and
fork dials on the grease-spattered wall clock served up the noonday special
--afterwards they toasted to better times and vowed to squeeze the juice
out of life and keep their smiles sunny-side up, while Ramos, the dishwasher
filled his jittery vein to the brim with a rich Colombian brew.

DeniseK · Aug 21, 2005

I don't know about anybody else, but that was actually good writing, imo. I didn't see that much purple prose, Jalpha. Now, Rob, on the other hand, there was so much gobbledygook, I couldn't get past the first few sentences! :Clap:

Ok, I will refrain from commenting now. Maybe more people will come join in the fun!

Sarah

JAlpha · Aug 21, 2005

sarah s said:
I don't know about anybody else, but that was actually good writing, imo. I didn't see that much purple prose, Jalpha. Now, Rob, on the other hand, there was so much gobbledygook, I couldn't get past the first few sentences!

Ok, I will refrain from commenting now. Maybe more people will come join in the fun!

Sarah

Well thank you, Sarah, but let's just call it what it is, the purple prose plate special--toast, juice, sunny side up eggs and a Columbian Brew

aruna · Aug 22, 2005

I think my entry is invalid as it is more than one paragraph, didn't read the rules carefully enough. Can I just run them together or shall I write another? It was fun BTW do we get a second entry?

maestrowork · Aug 22, 2005

Just write another if you want. Doesn't matter. This is a fun thread...

maestrowork · Aug 24, 2005

I have to admit *sigh* ChunkyC's version is better than my original!

aruna · Aug 25, 2005

Wow, it's a STICKY! Well done everyone; our great words have been immortalised!

MacAllister · Aug 25, 2005

aren't y'all afraid your chops will freeze that way, like if you cross your eyes when you're a little kid...?

aruna · Aug 25, 2005

MacAllister said:
aren't y'all afraid your chops will freeze that way, like if you cross your eyes when you're a little kid...?

Admit it, you're just jealous!

MacAllister · Aug 25, 2005

Admit it, you're just jealous!

heh--it's true. You got me. I always try to concede the field gracefully when I know I'm hopelessly outclassed--it's really more dignified to lose that way, I think...

:ROFL:

maestrowork · Aug 25, 2005

I'll enter one for you, Mac... Bwhahahahahahahahahaha

MacAllister · Aug 25, 2005

...oh...god...I'm having deja vu...

Roger J Carlson · Aug 26, 2005

You know, it's really hard to judge this. The entries are so varied. The one I'm currently reading always looks the best. Maybe for the next contest, you can give us a nice clean paragraph and see who can purple it up the best.

maestrowork · Aug 26, 2005

That's a good idea, Roger. Why didn't I think of that?

aruna · Aug 26, 2005

V. good idea!

jdkiggins · Aug 26, 2005

I'll give this a try. Seems my bad poem wasn't so darn bad. So I'll see how horrible I can do with the purple prose. Be back with it later.

aruna · Aug 26, 2005

I suggest two rounds: first we seect the top five by popular vote, and then as Roger suggests.

ChunkyC · Aug 26, 2005

I like that idea, Aruna. This round as the 'audition' round, to select the finalists.

maestrowork · Aug 26, 2005

I like these ideas, so I'm changing the contest a bit.

PLEASE read the first post for any updates!

9/15 is coming up! Enter! Now.

(I like the evolving nature of this game)

aruna · Aug 26, 2005

maestrowork said:
Inspired - Prizes:
1) A bound copy of Atlanta Night
2) A signed copy of my new book, The Pacific Between (be the first to read it before its general release in January 2006)
There may be more prizes to come....

... Go!

I would like to offer a hardback, signed copy of my third novel The Speech of Angels as one of the prizes. Secret message below!

(Of course I am bribing the judges! )

Yp

maestrowork · Aug 26, 2005

What kind of a bribe is that? If you win, you'll be winning your own book. LOL. But thank you! I will add your book to the prize!

jdkiggins · Aug 26, 2005

I've copied this entry of Joanne's into the new PURPLE PROSE ENTRIES Thread. Please put all new entries over there, thanks!

CC

ChunkyC · Aug 26, 2005

Just to clarify -- Maestro asked me to split this thread into two, one for the entries, and this one will remain open for comments and peanut gallery type stuff.

So, anyone wanting to post an entry, just plunk it in the new entry thread.

I'm hurtin' myself reading them all....

The First Ever AW Purple Prose Contest - Peanut Gallery

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