'Fire on the Hemisphere'

Hi, I'm after a bit of feedback for a story I wrote a short time ago. It's far from perfect, but since I finished it I thought I would post it around the web. It stands at around 10,000 words, which I know is a lot, so a big thank you to anyone who has patience with it. Cheers, M

http://www.eastoftheweb.com/uncut/node/view/19723