True Story: homosexual man almost killed (my hometown)

skray · Apr 10, 2010

This horrendous news is impossibly startling and upsetting to me. As much as I've read about this stuff, I had convinced myself people (rat-bastards) no longer attempted to kill people based on their sexual preferences.

Apparently not.

Two months ago, I met this man. Impossibly wealthy, successful, and kind. Those are the only ways I know how to describe this guy. I never met him before and he bought me three rounds. He's one of the "big wigs" in my community and I was--as usual--looking tired, and had basically crawled out of my bed. Didn't matter. This man was so kind and polite and considerate to me. I was THRILLED to know he was one of the "movers and shakers" in my community. I felt, for once, that things could really be going in a positive direction for my city.

Fast forward: he's been assaulted and almost beaten to death for being gay. And the community, in reaction to this event, is rejecting HIM--the victim--because he's gay.

Three men went into a gay bar, pretended to be gay and interested, followed him back to his hotel room . . . and attempted to kll him.

And my community is blaming HIM--THE VICTIM.

I am at a complete loss for words. I have been crying about this all day. I CANNOT believe this is still happening . . . I CANNOT believe my entire community now views this man as a "sexual deviant" who should "quit his job immediately."

For what?

I have no hope for humanity right now. None. I just can't believe this is happening. I am so incredibly hurt. How can people hate like this?

leahzero · Apr 10, 2010

Because people are animals. They attack and destroy what they fear or feel threatened by, whether it's physically, verbally, or via other means. Many of these subhumans are unworthy of the gift of sentience, using it only to continue their crude, if cunning, displays of dominance and other primitive behaviors.

This is clearly a hate crime, which carries tough penalties. Hopefully the subhumans who committed it will pay dearly.

Your community does not sound like a safe place. Take care of yourself.

DrZoidberg · Apr 10, 2010

skray said:
I have no hope for humanity right now. None. I just can't believe this is happening. I am so incredibly hurt. How can people hate like this?

If a society can be judged by how it protects its weakest members, you now have a chance to prove that your community is better than this. You're a writer. Why not see it as an opportunity to make a change?

kaitie · Apr 10, 2010

Have you thought of writing a letter to your paper saying the same thing? Pointing out that this man was the victim of a horrible crime and had been well-liked and respected before?

I know it might not make any difference, but it's the sort of thing I do when something like this really gets to me. And there might be at least someone out there who sees it and says, "Wait...this person has a point and this guy was a victim." At the very least, he would know someone out there is supporting him.

I think when we see things like this, it's important to be willing to stand up and speak out.

Deleted member 42 · Apr 10, 2010

skray said:
Three men went into a gay bar, pretended to be gay and interested, followed him back to his hotel room . . . and attempted to kll him.

And my community is blaming HIM--THE VICTIM.

Got a link?

veinglory · Apr 10, 2010

Is there any address to send letters of support to? Because you are part of the community too.

shaldna · Apr 10, 2010

if he's a moveer and shaker in the community is there a way to prove that it was because of his sexcuality and not becuasue of his polictal agenda?

bsolah · Apr 11, 2010

I'd be curious to see some news articles about this if there are any. I collect stories about homophobia for story research.

Homophobia definitely exists everywhere and I guess the reason why people have the impression that this doesn't happen anymore is because the media are homophobic too, don't care about what happens to us and are part of under reporting hate crimes.

MumblingSage · Apr 13, 2010

veinglory said:
Is there any address to send letters of support to? Because you are part of the community too.

This.

Have you thought of writing a letter to your paper saying the same thing? Pointing out that this man was the victim of a horrible crime and had been well-liked and respected before?

And this.

I'd waste time speculating what sort of warped scumbag you have to do to consider hanging out at a gay bar, picking someone up, and then attempting to kill him a good way to spend your evenings. But that's just something I'm never going to understand. And thank goodness for that.

Deleted member 42 · Apr 13, 2010

I'd really like to see some sort of press coverage. Where did this happen ? When?

If we are silent about these events, they will continue.

Yeshanu · Apr 13, 2010

Medievalist said:
If we are silent about these events, they will continue.

This.

First one person really hates gay people. Then he convinces a couple of his friends who maybe don't hate gay people as much but who are stupid and bored that it's okay to beat up a guy 'cause he's gay.

Then the guy gets beat up, and nobody stops them while they're doing it, so they still think it's okay.

And the newspaper's funded by a conservative group, so they make it seem like the gay guy was at fault, and the whole town laps it up because they don't want to think for themselves, and anyway, they saw it in the paper, so it must be so. And the people making all the noise are the ones who hate the gays, so the supporters of gay rights are intimidated and think they're in the minority, when really they're not.

And soon you have a herd mentality thing going on, where very few people actually think it's okay to beat up gay people, but they're not willing to speak out because they think it's only them that believes this.

Speak out. Say it's wrong. You may get ridiculed, at least at first, until others realize that, hey! They thought it was wrong all along too, and it's not just the two of you that think that way...

Not sure if that made any sense, but understand: There's a cost to speaking out. The cost of not speaking out is greater.

KTC · Apr 13, 2010

Medievalist said:
If we are silent about these events, they will continue.

YES! Every community has a right to speak out against this community...to say that what happened is wrong. It's time to put a spotlight on the entire community and let them know that what happened is wrong...both the original assault AND the way it is being handled.

Give a link...so that others outside of your community can give voice...

Fulk · Apr 14, 2010

It's absolutely awful that this happened, and I hope the victim is recovering well. I don't have much to add to this discussion other than my sympathies for him. I would encourage you to follow the advice in this thread and share a link to any paper covering the story so that this bigotry can be exposed, and also to write a letter reminding the community who is truly at fault.

Bartholomew · Jul 20, 2010

skray said:
This horrendous news is impossibly startling and upsetting to me. As much as I've read about this stuff, I had convinced myself people (rat-bastards) no longer attempted to kill people based on their sexual preferences.

Apparently not.

Two months ago, I met this man. Impossibly wealthy, successful, and kind. Those are the only ways I know how to describe this guy. I never met him before and he bought me three rounds. He's one of the "big wigs" in my community and I was--as usual--looking tired, and had basically crawled out of my bed. Didn't matter. This man was so kind and polite and considerate to me. I was THRILLED to know he was one of the "movers and shakers" in my community. I felt, for once, that things could really be going in a positive direction for my city.

Fast forward: he's been assaulted and almost beaten to death for being gay. And the community, in reaction to this event, is rejecting HIM--the victim--because he's gay.

Three men went into a gay bar, pretended to be gay and interested, followed him back to his hotel room . . . and attempted to kll him.

And my community is blaming HIM--THE VICTIM.

I am at a complete loss for words. I have been crying about this all day. I CANNOT believe this is still happening . . . I CANNOT believe my entire community now views this man as a "sexual deviant" who should "quit his job immediately."

For what?

I have no hope for humanity right now. None. I just can't believe this is happening. I am so incredibly hurt. How can people hate like this?

Social change is a slow, grueling, painful process. I'm so sorry for this man. And I hope the people who assaulted him are punished with the full force of the law.

Wayne K · Jul 20, 2010

When I was young, living in New Milford Connecticut, someone ran over and killed Reggie, the town homosexual. They put the car in reverse to finish the job. The police and townspeople didn't care, and even joked about it.

The worst thing that I observed a few months ago on Face Book is someone who told those horrible jokes now lives openly gay. WTF?

Bartholomew · Jul 20, 2010

Wayne K said:
The worst thing that I observed a few months ago on Face Book is someone who told those horrible jokes now lives openly gay. WTF?

Jeez. That lends some credence to the psychological hypothesis that being in open, and hostile opposition to something is a sign that someone secretly longs for it.

Shadow Dragon · Jul 20, 2010

Not all homophobes are closeted gays, but some closeted gays are homophobes. Back in the day, one of the best ways to get attention of your sexuality is to joke about another's. Though it's rarer but there really are gay homophobes out there.

Exile87 · Jul 20, 2010

What a terrible story.

You think too much about events like this, and it can really mess with your head. However, it does make me want to write a thriller with a gay MC who puts monsters like this in their place...

shaldna · Jul 21, 2010

link please?

DrZoidberg · Jul 21, 2010

Wayne K said:
The worst thing that I observed a few months ago on Face Book is someone who told those horrible jokes now lives openly gay. WTF?

How does that surprise you in the least? The worst gay bashers are all self loathing closet cases. So much history should have taught us. The US neo-con family values crowd seems to be exclusively populated by such people. At least if we're to judge by their frequent scandals.

Deleted member 42 · Jul 21, 2010

You know the OP has never returned, and I still can't find any coverage of this event.

There are a couple of things about it that are atypical in terms of queer bashing.

Bartholomew · Jul 21, 2010

Medievalist said:
You know the OP has never returned, and I still can't find any coverage of this event.

There are a couple of things about it that are atypical in terms of queer bashing.

Horrible things can happen without a newspaper picking up on it, but if he was a "mover and a shaker" in his community, I can't imagine it going without some coverage. If the OP's bio is correct, the news would be coming out of New Mexico, possibly on a coastal community.

That said, if he's really active in the community, he could have been beaten for some other issue.

Gale Haut · Jul 21, 2010

I haven't heard any news about this event and I'm barely a state over. They tend to broadcast the fall from grace of major political figures in and around my area, and seeing as it's extremely gay friendly around here I doubt this would fall below the radar. I have major apprehensions in taking the OP seriously.

Bartholomew · Jul 22, 2010

I've been trolling Google News for something resembling this. So far, nothing. If this happened, it didn't happen in the English speaking world.

Bookewyrme · Jul 22, 2010

Just a thought. Just because someone is an important part of a community, a leader even, doesn't mean they're a political figure. They could just be very rich and contribute money to various community improvement projects. Or be the person everyone looks to for a steady and thoughtful direction to go. Or a lobbyist, or...or...or. Also, community does not necessarily mean town or city. The OP could be referring to their neighborhood, or suburb or some more nebulous "community" consisting of people who have some thing in common (gay community? Latino community? deaf community? etc).

That being said, I hope, with all my heart, that the OP was making this up/exaggerating/is a troll. Because the alternative is that they're telling the truth, in which case, someone was nearly beaten to death for their sexual orientation. And that is unutterably sad to me.

True Story: homosexual man almost killed (my hometown)

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