View Full Version : Cheesy Writer Jokes Anyone?

04-07-2010, 06:41 PM
add one if you got one...no joke too cheesy!!!

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell. <o:p> </o:p>
She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.<o:p> </o:p>
"Oh my," said the writer. "Let me see heaven now."<o:p> </o:p>
A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.<o:p> </o:p>
"Wait a minute," said the writer. "This is just as bad as hell!"<o:p> </o:p>
"Oh no, it's not," replied an unseen voice. "Here, your work gets published."

04-07-2010, 07:07 PM
A writer comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside.

“What happened, honey?” the man asks.

“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is--”

“Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” the writer says. “My agent called?”

Maryn, bada-bing, bada-boom

04-07-2010, 08:27 PM

Silver King
04-08-2010, 04:15 AM
Did you hear the cheesy joke about the sig-line spammer who started this thread?

He was banned and went back to selling real estate away from this site.

04-08-2010, 04:22 AM
knock knock?

Who's there?


Writer's who?

I just don't know, I seem to have writer's block!

04-08-2010, 04:41 AM
Silver King, thanks for the heads-up. We'll just have to have our fun without him, won't we?

When the Epstein Brothers were writing Mrs Skeffington, they had endless run-ins with Jack Warner. Although very productive, they always arrived in the lot late and would work well into the evening. Warner, however, was a stickler for contract workers to arrive on time. He used to go to the writers' building and, if he didn't hear typewriters tapping, would threaten to fire the missing writers. This caused a lot of disagreements, especially since the brothers thought the novel was an unfilmable piece of junk.

One day, they were summoned to 'Colonel' Jack's office, where he complained about the latest scene. "This is the biggest f**king piece of s**t I've ever read in my goddamn f**king life!"

To which Philip Epstein politely replied, "But how is that possible? We wrote it at 10 in the morning."

Jess Haines
04-09-2010, 12:00 AM
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

(I think Janet Reid posted this one originally. Always cracks me up.)