veinglory, I agree with a lot of what you said in that link, but I think maybe you oversimplified a little. I'm leery of starting to play devil's advocate here, because, as I said, I'm a straight woman, and I enjoy reading and writing m/m, so I don't want to set myself up as the proponent of an argument that I really hope is wrong!
That said, it seems to me that the issue comes not from a few women messing around with a little writing on the side, but more from the domination of women within the genre. I don't have hard numbers (and they would be tricky to come by, I suspect, because there are a significant number of women writing under male names or using gender-neutral names or initials) on this, but...would you agree that the majority of people writing m/m fic are female?
Assuming that's true, the fetishization issue gets a little more complicated. You reference modern feminists who are pro-erotica/porn, and I agree that there are many (I happen to be one of them). But many of these same feminists object to the male domination in the porn industry, and argue that the objectification and fetishization of women will continue as long as men are in charge. These women are not anti-porn, per se, but that doesn't mean that they support the current structure of the genre. I think a similar argument could be made about women dominating the m/m genre (assuming that my idea about the proportions of women involved are correct). Does this seem right to you, or am I missing something?
I'm not arguing that women stop writing m/m. And, of course, I flatter myself that I'm one of the ones doing it 'right' - making sure the characters are three dimensional and not stereotypes, etc. I'm just saying that I think it's another thing for me to be mindful of. As if I didn't already have enough to worry about with my writing!