A Big AW Welcome For Your New Mod--Me!

Mac has seen sense, and has given me the reins here. She's been worried for a long time that this part of AW has been languishing a little and has asked me to freshen things up a little, and get you all writing at a higher level.

So I'm going to start cracking the whip and ask for your cooperation. Some of my suggestions might seem a little off-the-wall but trust me, I know what I'm doing, and if you all play nicely then things are going to be GREAT.

First, I'm concerned that a lot of the writing in this room is just a little bit nasty. Yes, I know we want to have an effect on our readers but can't we do that in a softer, kinder way? If you're in any doubt about your writing then consider this: what would your mother think if she read the sorts of things you write? If you don't think she'd like it then you should probably reconsider.

Second, we all need to up our game. I'm a lover of literary fiction and know it has a lot to teach writers of other easier genres. When you're writing, consider if you've really explored the internal landscape of your characters. Show their thoughts, their feelings, their emotional reactions. Don't be afraid of spending some time spelling out these things and remember, details count; memories and flashbacks can be very effective; and if all else fails, get them to light a cigarrette and describe the effect of the flare of the match on the ambient lighting of their environment. If you spend enough time on them, descriptions can really help move your story along.

Third, can you please, please, please, PLEASE stop worrying about getting your work published and pay more attention to truth, and expression. Writing is an art, and should be taken seriously. If all you want to do is get into print then you're missing out on the soul of what we, as writers, do, and are ignoring the transforming, healing power that our words have. Think ART at all times. Make this your priority. Make Art your soul.

You have to consider your word choice, and your scene-setting. I don't want to do it for you, but if you're really struggling consider words like slicing and separate rather than hack and chop. Once you've worked through your mss like that, and have corrected all those harsh words, then you can have your characters start to treat each other a little more kindly: perhaps their manners could improve, and you should definitely cut out all that rough-housing. Have them sit about on beautiful, chenille-upholstered furniture and chat, rather than running around a lot: it's much nicer. Less sweaty, too, which is always more appealing.

Oh, and watch your comma-usage. Conflicts over the Oxford comma are always unpleasant.

I find that a doiley underneath the scones adds a touch of class that most stories lack. As I said earlier, details are important.

Yes, but where's the JOY in your work, Calla? If all you're thinking of is the practical side of how to mop up all the blood then I think you've lost direction. You should revel in the flow of the spilled blood, rejoice in the various shades of red-to-brown, describe each twist and turn of those lovely little doileys. And even consider crocheting your own. It can be very calming, I find. It might even turn you towards writing in a more thoughtful, considerate genre.

I think you've done quite enough back-end grooming today, Mr Leukman. Thank you.

Ah, Calla, thank you: I chose that sniper kit specially for AFD and this board, but Mac is trying to persuade me to keep him now. I shall for a while.

I appear to still be a mod for this board. I'm sure Mac will tidy me away before too long, but thank you all for playing along so nicely. I shall soon whisk this thread away into an April Fool's Day archive, where it will die the slow, lingering death it deserves.