View Full Version : The New Trucker Rules (April Fools 2010)

Soccer Mom
04-01-2010, 05:35 PM
Breaker, breaker,

Turn on your ears, good buddy! This here is Big Mama and we've got some new rules. You'll notice that this isn't Derek's forum anymore. It's mine and that means a new Smoky Bear is at the wheel.

I know that some forums are doing some sort of fancy talk, but there ain't nothing like that going on in here. Ain't gonna be no bucket mouths neither. Just plain ol' folks talking the way they should.

Here's the new low down:

1. CB speak only. That's right, goody buddy. Those needing assistance can look here (http://www.cbgazette.com/slang.html).

2. None of them questions about grammer and tenses and characters with goofy names. Truckers and trucking. It's a time honored genre and the only one we care about in this hear forum.

3. All posts must start with an appropriate intro and sign off before you pull the plug.

4. Anyone violating these rules is subject to a blue slip and disemvoweling.

Understood? Let's be safe out there.

That's a big 10-4, good buddy.

04-01-2010, 05:56 PM
Since I'm from Ireland and our radio calls usually go along the lines of 'Help me. He's in the back. Send hel------argh!!! We have you're wife and kids, if your don't meet our demands......' can I be excused from these rules?

04-01-2010, 06:04 PM
Hey there good buddy!!

This is Prairie Puppy. Yeah, I know there's no such thing, but my daddy was Prairie Dog... and well, I'm smaller, so that makes me Prairie Puppy.

I've got the hammer down, busting out of this here Cactus Patch and headin' east for home. But what I want to know is will you be serving up some ice cold Colorado kool-aid at some point in the day and leading us in a heartfelt rendition of "East Bound and Down?"

Come back.

Soccer Mom
04-01-2010, 06:13 PM
Hey there, Prairie Puppy

Good to know ya! The Colorado Kool-aid is getting cold and it's five o'clock somewhere! I'm still swilling cups of mud and hit my stop and drop a few miles ago. Kids unloaded at school and money in the bank.

Down and on the side.

04-01-2010, 07:14 PM
Argh!!! I don't understand!!!

Soccer Mom
04-01-2010, 07:24 PM
Argh!!! I don't understand!!!

hey there, Irish Child--that's your new handle, amigo. Don't tense. It's all good and clear sailing without the county mounties today. Just put it in the fifty dollar lane and hammer down. Open your flappers and it'll come together for you. Catch you in the daylight. Follow the stripes home, good buddy.


Translation for the slang impaired:
Well, hello my friend from Ireland. Your nickname today will be Youth from the land of shamrocks. Do not be perturbed. Things are just fine and the local law enforcement in not present. Move your motorized vehicle into the passing lane and accelerate at will. If you listen to the slang for a bit, it should start to make sense. If not, there is always tomorrow. Have a safe journey, my friend.

Good bye.

04-01-2010, 07:39 PM
Hey, come in Cocka -this is Doodle Doo.

Clutching my throbbing gearstick and praying as I coax this forty-ton cutie inch by inch up Highwayman's pass. Blacker and colder than inside a Scotsman's wallet. Where are you, dude? Lots of interference here. Come again?

04-02-2010, 02:52 AM
I watched the TV show BJ and the Bear obsessively when I was a kid - does that count?

04-02-2010, 03:16 AM
Breaker, breaker.

Lone Star Lady here. Anybody got a 20 on a load of squashed cabbage? Looks like it dropped itself without permission somewhere between here and Topeka.

Come back.

04-02-2010, 03:28 AM
Breaker Lone Star Lady. You got your ears on?

Looks like the county mounties found your cabbage and they're lookin' for the truck that dropped the load. I'd take the scenic route for the next hour or two, if I were that driver.


04-02-2010, 04:02 AM
10-4, Same Name.

Wondered what that bird was doing hovering around my tail.

Over & out.

04-02-2010, 04:51 AM
I have seriously forgotten all of my CB talk, not that I did that much to begin with. :D

04-02-2010, 06:05 AM
This thread makes me smile. :)

04-02-2010, 06:17 AM
Liar, liar, pants on fire....

I've never done this before...is this a good start?

Soccer Mom
04-02-2010, 06:56 AM
breaker, breaker,

Come in fellow mother truckers! This is Big Mama saying brush your teeth and comb your hair, it's about time to pull in for the darktime. Colorado Kool-Aid all around for a job well done. I'm gonna press some sheets in a bit.

Follow the stripes and peel your eyeballs for Peter Rabbit.

Big Mama, over and out