My Dog says I should Kill All AWers

Diana Hignutt

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My imaginary dog says that it would be in everybody's best interest if I killed all you f-ers here at AW. Should one listen to one's imaginary dog? Your opinions matter.
 

Diana Hignutt

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I didn't see that coming. Well, I'll just have to send my...um...give me a second...um...nope... I got nuthin'. Your dog wins.
 

Good Word

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Diana, please seek professional help. This is a message board and not a substitute for psychiatric help. Disregard messages from any imaginary "friends" that would have you harm others. I am truly worried.
 

brokenfingers

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Please. My dog tells me that all the time. He also says I should get a job.

I just ignore him.
 

Diana Hignutt

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Diana, please seek professional help. This is a message board and not a substitute for psychiatric help. Disregard messages from any imaginary "friends" that would have you harm others. I am truly worried.

I'm sorry, I thought this was the "Signs You're becoming a serial killer" board. My dog doesn't like you very much, I'm sorry to say.
 

Good Word

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Diana,

Imaginary pets and people are just crutches. Be in the real world. Ground yourself through meditation and open up to the universal om.

The only valid forms of spirit communication and guidance are from Energystar appliances, like refrigerators, and all toasters made after 1973.
 

regdog

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My dogs told me, to tell you, that you're just blaming a dog for your homicidal tendencies.




Dogs never tell people to kill, they tell us to zombify, duh.
 

aadams73

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Always listen to the imaginary dog. That's what mine says. It's the imaginary cat you have to be wary of. *shudders*
 

Diana Hignutt

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Diana,

Imaginary pets and people are just crutches. Be in the real world. Ground yourself through meditation and open up to the universal om.

The only valid forms of spirit communication and guidance are from Energystar appliances, like refrigerators, and all toasters made after 1973.

Ah, now, you're making sense. My imaginary dog thinks you're right...
 

Shveta

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My imaginary dog is a serial killer (it eats all my cereal), but it is very environmentally conscious and spends its nights in an EnergyStar refrigerator.
 

Yeshanu

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Please. My dog tells me that all the time. He also says I should get a job.

I just ignore him.

Which just goes to prove that dogs are dumb. My cat wants me to quit my job, so I have more time to pet him.
 

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I don't think you do have an imaginary dog, Diana. I'm not even certain that you're imagining you have an imaginary dog, since I have only your word for that. Some people say they have an imaginary dog, but then don't even bother to imagine it. They only want us to imagine that they have an imaginary dog -- which means they lure people into imagining many imaginary dogs for them, none of which they actually imagine for themselves. Parasites. :(

And how did you come by your imaginary dog? Please do not assume, even if you imagined it yourself, that it's actually yours. How do you know who is imagining it when you're not? And who imagined it before you? It might be a shared imaginary dog. In fact, as a child I had an imaginary dog that I'm fairly sure has gone missing, which means you may well have mine.

If indeed you have any at all.
 

Diana Hignutt

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I don't think you do have an imaginary dog, Diana. I'm not even certain that you're imagining you have an imaginary dog, since I have only your word for that. Some people say they have an imaginary dog, but then don't even bother to imagine it. They only want us to imagine that they have an imaginary dog -- which means they lure people into imagining many imaginary dogs for them, none of which they actually imagine for themselves. Parasites. :(

And how did you come by your imaginary dog? Please do not assume, even if you imagined it yourself, that it's actually yours. How do you know who is imagining it when you're not? And who imagined it before you? It might be a shared imaginary dog. In fact, as a child I had an imaginary dog that I'm fairly sure has gone missing, which means you may well have mine.

If indeed you have any at all.

Holly crap. I asked the imaginary dog (that I didn't even really bother imagining) and he said he is, in fact, your long lost imaginary dog. Please provide a P.O. Box and I will send him to you. He says the nicest things, though. I shall miss him.