REALLY????? An office worker's rant

In my office, I am basically the bottom rung. I'm 29 years old, I've been here (FAA) for 3 years, and I'm stretched way past my position description.

But I'm stuck in this pay grade. There aren't any jobs in the next pay grade, but I can't get to the one beyond that until I spend a year in the next one since I do not have a degree.

I've been trying to get my bosses to bump me into the next pay grade. I have the work to prove I'm worth it, they act like they love me. But I am not forceful enough. I'm not good at that.

I have a co-worker who is in the pay grade I want to be in. She does budget stuff, and she's good at what she does. We are also friends and both work in the front office. For the past few months, however, she's been making me feel...very low. Like I'm her assistant.

For example, we both are supposed to answer the phones, but I always do. If I don't grab the phone by the second ring, she asks, "Are you going to get that?" Or she'll ask me to cover the phones for her, and I think I always answer the phones anyway, so WTF? That's a simple example. The others are too indepth to explain.

I don't think she does it on purpose. She's a very sweet girl whose heart broke with mine during my divorce. She also has a very low self-esteem which she tries to raise with a lot of makeup, visits to the salon, manis/pedis, tanning booths, and highlights (very opposite me who barely wears makeup and prefers flipflops over heels (though I love my heels)). I've been told my quite a few people, though, that I could do both our jobs w/no problem. I've been told that they prefer coming to me with things, working with me on things, b/c when my co-worker gets stressed (which happens very easily), she gets nasty and doesn't even realize it.

Anyway, the reason for my rant is this: last week my boss' boss picked flowers from outside for my co-worker. Flowers. Whatever, she gave them to her when I wasn't here, so ignored them even though I didn't like it. Yesterday, our boss brought her flowers too! "Here *insert co-worker's name here*, I picked these flowers for you..."

WTF?

Co-worker: "Oh I'm going to need two vases - we can share, April! Oh my goodness! They smell so good, they're so pretty! Thank you!"

Boss: "I don't think you should split up the flowers, but we can put them here on your desk so April can see them too."

WTF? Seriously?

I have my midterm evaluation today, and I've got to be forceful. It's not in my nature, but I have to be direct. I have to get myself in the front of my boss' mind so that I can grab this promotion before I go out of my mind.

Haha Kitty. I guess it's possible. My SO actually suggested that perhaps our bosses sense her...lower self-esteem and think she needs a boost or something.

He doesn't know that for sure, but it's also a possibility b/c it just doesn't make sense! We were throwing out all kinds of ideas.

Thanks regdog.

I don't know that I'm getting looked over...it's so confusing. I get praised all the time! Just the other day, my boss said I should consider the mentoring/shadowing program.

My other problem is I'm not sure how much of a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I know I don't want to work at HQ in DC b/c that would be a looong day. I know I don't want to travel, but if I do the mentoring thing, there might be some travel required.

I didn't care when I was on my own, but I have a family now, you know?

Of course my SO is so supportive and reminded me that at least now I don't have to worry about my husband leaving me (as I would have with my ex). He said he doesn't really want me to travel either, but if that's the path I have to take to get where I want to be, then it's a small price to pay (as long as it's not constant and forever, of course, which I wouldn't do anyway)

Yeah. We'll see what happens.

Yeshanu said:

April,

As to why your boss is giving your co-worker flowers--that's a separate issue, and I don't think it necessarily bodes well for your co-worker. (Office romances are tricky, and my first guess is that's what your boss is leading up to...)

As for the other issue...

I've got the almost exactly the same problem. I just sent my boss a fairly strongly worded email--not angry or insulting, but definitive, telling him precisely what I wanted at this point in time.

I'd suggest, if you can do it, to have your ducks in a row before you meet with your boss.

1) Know exactly what you want to ask for. I'm talking about the maximum here.

2) Have all the facts about why you deserve what you're asking for. Specific things you have done over the past year, figures showing either what you've done, or why the company can and should give you a higher pay level.

3) Decide exactly what the minimum is that you're willing to settle for. Don't tell this to your boss, but you need to allow him some wiggle room, to show that you're willing to negotiate.

In your case, I'd also ask about the mentoring/shadowing program. Will it lead to a promotion or pay raise if you participate? What other benefits can you expect? It sounds from this like your boss is on your side, and is suggesting a next step, but you need to be sure it's a next step, and not just a decoy to get you sidetracked.

Good luck to you. I'll be sending happy thoughts your way.

ETA: And definitely tell your boss you feel like you're being overlooked, and ask him if there are specific reasons, and what you can do about it. Make sure your tone throughout the meeting is positive and co-operative, but not whimpy.

Click to expand...

Thanks for your advice. That's basically all the stuff my SO and I went over last night.

I'll let you know how it goes!