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View Full Version : My Final Flounce. :-(



Bartholomew
04-01-2010, 12:23 PM
Dear AW and P&CE,

I will no longer be able to participate here. Since I've recently been picked up by a rather prestigious, up and coming publisher (http://www.publishamerica.com/), my agent (http://misssnark.blogspot.com/) has suggested that I stop participating in fora where my stronger opinions might negatively influence sells. (Always thought they were "sales," but now that I'm on the other side of the fence, I've discovered that authors call them "sells." Use that in a query letter sometime and earn a few brownie points, AW!)
I'll miss you guys. You've helped me a lot, but it's time for the bartapiller to shed his cocoon and fly!

Yours,

Bartholomew

brokenfingers
04-01-2010, 12:24 PM
Thank God.

Xelebes
04-01-2010, 12:29 PM
Look you twilly batard, neen an proffers nain gooth spoot and nain proffers a hoop-hoop aberissision. Gae we yowr naw poblushoy an sicke oat dar prilly werd oat dat.

aadams73
04-01-2010, 12:32 PM
See ya, loser!

Bartholomew
04-01-2010, 12:34 PM
See ya, loser!

Looser. Get it right.

Kateness
04-01-2010, 12:37 PM
Fine.

I never liked you anyway.

Bartholomew
04-01-2010, 12:39 PM
Why are you all being so mean to me? I'm only leaving so that I don't damage my new career as a novelist.

ETA

Oh. I get it. You're all jealous.

I knew this would happen. I bet that's why Stephen King doesn't post here anymore.

aadams73
04-01-2010, 12:40 PM
Looser. You're just a James Patterson wannabe!

Bartholomew
04-01-2010, 12:41 PM
Looser.

Much better. (Because now it's loose, and I fit. <Nod.>)

AMCrenshaw
04-01-2010, 12:42 PM
Why are you even telling us? It's like eating your caking and having it too. Or committing suicide and somehow being around for the funeral.

Kateness
04-01-2010, 12:42 PM
You're just jealous of me, because you know you could never stand up to me

Bartholomew
04-01-2010, 12:45 PM
Looser. You're just a James Patterson wannabe!

Well, I do make fairly complex outlines. Almost a whole page! My publisher is a bit stronger, though.


Why are you even telling us? It's like eating your caking and having it too. Or committing suicide and somehow being around for the funeral.

I'll have you know, I ate my cake, and then ate it again at my funeral. I'm really not sure what you're on about.


You're just jealous of me, because you know you could never stand up to me

Are you making fun of my height? I believe you are. How dare you make fun of a midget! I'll have you know that, at 180 centimetres tall, I am the world's tallest midget.

Kateness
04-01-2010, 12:47 PM
Well, you know what?

I'm the shortest tall-person. I win :tongue

Bartholomew
04-01-2010, 12:48 PM
Well, you know what?

I'm the shortest tall-person. I win :tongue

Psh.

...

Witty comeback!

Kateness
04-01-2010, 12:53 PM
Pssh.

Shot down.

Because I said so.

aadams73
04-01-2010, 01:00 PM
Get a room, you two. All this coded love-speak is making me twitchy.

Kateness
04-01-2010, 01:00 PM
What, is that your code-speak for threesome?

aadams73
04-01-2010, 01:02 PM
No, no, that's code for, "Would you like me to sell you this circus midget?"

Kateness
04-01-2010, 01:05 PM
Christ, I'm trying to write here.

Stop....doing stuff. God.

aruna
04-01-2010, 01:07 PM
You're all jealous.

.

Not me im a god looser

CONGRATULATIONS!
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kaitie
04-01-2010, 01:13 PM
*has a seizure*

Ruv Draba
04-01-2010, 02:03 PM
Given your publisher, my suggestion is that you don't reduce your posting of controversial material but rather increase it, with embedded ads to get rich from the click-stream.

I always add blanked-out hyperlinks in the space below my posts, and make a fortune from paranoids, twitches and cryptomystics.

For example, here. (http://yougotrickrolled.com/)

regdog
04-01-2010, 02:53 PM
So, you taking the Strawberry Shortcake avvie with you?

Magdalen
04-01-2010, 03:39 PM
Straw wartS

Good Word
04-01-2010, 04:44 PM
Brat Bart,

Good luck with your PA deal.

<shakes head>

Lisa

robeiae
04-01-2010, 04:51 PM
I've been submitting to PA for a year. So far, nothing.

Way to go, Bart!

Roger J Carlson
04-01-2010, 05:39 PM
Dear AW and P&CE,

I will no longer be able to participate here. Since I've recently been picked up by a rather prestigious, up and coming publisher (http://www.publishamerica.com/), my agent (http://misssnark.blogspot.com/) has suggested that I stop participating in fora where my stronger opinions might negatively influence sells. (Always thought they were "sales," but now that I'm on the other side of the fence, I've discovered that authors call them "sells." Use that in a query letter sometime and earn a few brownie points, AW!)
I'll miss you guys. You've helped me a lot, but it's time for the bartapiller to shed his cocoon and fly!

Yours,

BartholomewI'm sorry, but Examiner.com does not really qualify as a publisher.

Best,

Yeshanu
04-01-2010, 05:45 PM
I have a better agent (http://www.bbla.com/) than you. So there.

Yeshanu
04-01-2010, 05:45 PM
And I found out about her right here on AW...

Jersey Chick
04-01-2010, 06:07 PM
I'm soooo jelous... just a jeloust, stipid darf...

Gretad08
04-01-2010, 06:15 PM
Do ya think you could put in a good word for me with PA? I hear they're very exclusive.

Bartholomew
04-01-2010, 07:11 PM
I'm sorry, but Examiner.com does not really qualify as a publisher.

Best,

God, you didn't even click my link. :(

Roger J Carlson
04-01-2010, 07:17 PM
God, you didn't even click my link. :(pfft! I can't be bothered with details.

Cranky
04-01-2010, 07:38 PM
pfft! I can't be bothered with details.

Details are for loosers.

Also, why are you still here, cupcake? I thought you flounced? I can still see your frilly bits, and the distinct aroma of strawberry shampoo. Do I have to get out the cattleprod?

Sheesh. Such weak flounces. In MY day....

Snowstorm
04-01-2010, 08:08 PM
The scent of strawberries is still very strong ...

robeiae
04-01-2010, 08:11 PM
Sorry, that was me. I douched, today.

Alan Yee
04-01-2010, 10:46 PM
OMG PlublishAmerrca is my favorite publisher EVER! Way to go, Bart! I'm so glad you've finally been picked up by a Traditional Publisher. I'm so happy for you. I've heard so many meanies here on AW say such awful things about PA, about how they're not a real publisher, but almost 40,000 happy authors can't be wrong, rite? And they don't charge anything at all! They even offer a $1.00 advance to show they're not a vanity press. All those PA h8ers out there are just loosers! LOOSERS!

By the way, could you recommend me to your publisher?

benbradley
04-02-2010, 12:28 AM
Alan, that looks like an old Slashdot avatar...

Snowstorm
04-02-2010, 12:39 AM
Sorry, that was me. I douched, today.

Gah! My eyes! My head!

*grabs a knife to stick in my ear to rid my mind of the image*

Chasing the Horizon
04-02-2010, 12:48 AM
it's time for the bartapiller to shed his cocoon and fly!
Didn't do it fast enough

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k148/cansaspillar/piller.jpg

Mmmm, tastes like strawberries

Maxinquaye
04-02-2010, 01:19 AM
Dear AW and P&CE,

I will no longer be able to participate here. Since I've recently been picked up by a rather prestigious, up and coming publisher (http://www.publishamerica.com/), my agent (http://misssnark.blogspot.com/) has suggested that I stop participating in fora where my stronger opinions might negatively influence sells. (Always thought they were "sales," but now that I'm on the other side of the fence, I've discovered that authors call them "sells." Use that in a query letter sometime and earn a few brownie points, AW!)
I'll miss you guys. You've helped me a lot, but it's time for the bartapiller to shed his cocoon and fly!

Yours,

Bartholomew

Who are you?

Bartholomew
04-02-2010, 07:14 AM
Details are for loosers.

Also, why are you still here, cupcake? I thought you flounced? I can still see your frilly bits, and the distinct aroma of strawberry shampoo. Do I have to get out the cattleprod?

Sheesh. Such weak flounces. In MY day....

You cannot banish me with mere electricity.

Soon, I will rule your pathetic fora.

Yeshanu
04-02-2010, 09:10 AM
You cannot banish me with mere electricity.

Soon, I will rule your pathetic flora.

Great! You can start with the weeds out front...

bettielee
04-02-2010, 10:12 AM
So sorry to see you go, Bart. I hope you and your publisher and your agent will be very happy together, in your cocoon of capitalist worship. I hope layers and layers of dollars keep your integrity and your moral barometer warm at night.

Oh... and can I have your stapler? I mean, you won't be needing it...

Gregg
04-02-2010, 09:17 PM
Hey Barty, why not go incognito? Bet your agent would never know!


http://nwodisinfo.com/images/jackson-groucho.jpg

billythrilly7th
04-03-2010, 01:26 AM
best.april.fools.joke.ever