View Full Version : Really struggling...with the rewrite...urge to bang head to wall....

03-30-2010, 08:01 PM
My agent and his assistant eviscerated my manuscript upon their review. I think my only redeeming value was they found it partially witty, enjoyable, and that I was a "servicable" writer with some bad habits. Don't get me wrong. They are absolutely right. His analysis that my manuscript was a "Hollywood Blockbuster masquerading as a novel" was dead on (Maybe they should just sell it to a studio instead!) and I am the first one to admit that action scenes are like mental masturbation for me.

While I would usually loathe to make wholesale changes...(I think the work is going to be a rewrite and replot of at least 200 pages of a 400 page book) their recommendations make sense. More character building, less masturbation.

The problem is...I don't think I know what I'm doing and it **hurts** during these rewrites. I want to club myself with my mouse and punch the nearest puppy. And I even love puppies! Even more than most humans. Not to mention...I'm not having fun which is all I usually do when I write! I know these changes will make my manuscript better as a "book" but I just can't get my head around all this character building. (Seriously...what's the big deal about growth? Can't we just be? Can't we just blow sh*t up?)

I'm starting to get confused and i think I'm ruining what I lovingly crafted but the desire to have a polished work and the grand poombah of being published is overriding my sense of who I am as a writer, which admittedly, is a completely flawed buffoon. But...I like my buffoonness. It makes me bearable to live with and enduring to the ladies. Is it really a crime to have mediocre taste? Can't there be a market of book readers who just love a good mindless guilty pleasure read?

Anyway...I'm ranting...and struggling...what do I do? How can I fall in love with my work and the changes I need to do again? Help!!
I'm sorry to all of you who bothered to read through my mindless diatribe. I hope you didn't lose too many brain cells over this.

cate townsend
03-30-2010, 09:24 PM
Welcome to AW, Debeucci.

What you are going through...seems entirely normal and necessary. The struggle will be good for you. If you've written a complete novel that secured rep with an agent, you are ahead of many. Also, that shows you have the ability to rework what needs to be reworked, so find that confidence in yourself.

Good luck!

Chris P
03-30-2010, 09:34 PM
You might find some company in this thread here: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=175900

Yes, rewrites can be painful. What I have to decide for myself is whether the pain comes from pushing myself to new abilities--and therefore better writing--or from the insecurity that comes from trying to please everyone and knowing that I can't do it.

In your case, I think it's the first, as you have an agent who knows the biz and is willing to walk you through it. I don't have an agent yet, and my rewrites are the second case as I'm working in a vacuum.