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JennaGlatzer
08-17-2005, 12:06 PM
Hooray! My partner has set us up with a new hosting company just for the forums. We may have to switch urls (instead of absolutewrite.com/forums, it may turn into absolutewriteforums.com or something). But I am pretty sure it won't disrupt anything as far as posts, usernames, etc. This should all happen in the next week. I'll let you know.

Cross your toes for no more down-time and no more glitches!

MacAllister
08-17-2005, 12:30 PM
w00t!!!! You da bombness, Fearless Leader. :)

robeiae
08-17-2005, 11:13 PM
Crap. I thought someone was throwing a dinner party...

Rob :)

sassandgroove
08-18-2005, 01:55 AM
Hooray! My partner has set us up with a new hosting company just for the forums. We may have to switch urls (instead of absolutewrite.com/forums, it may turn into absolutewriteforums.com or something). But I am pretty sure it won't disrupt anything as far as posts, usernames, etc. This should all happen in the next week. I'll let you know.

Cross your toes for no more down-time and no more glitches!

Woohoo! you are the greatest!

awatkins
08-18-2005, 10:56 PM
Ohboyohboyohboy!!! Just don't leave without me. lol

Betty W01
08-23-2005, 12:15 AM
Don't forget to tell me where you go, OK? I know I haven't been around much this summer, but don't abandon me, please? I love you guys...

JennaGlatzer
08-23-2005, 12:31 AM
I think it's kinda funny that the mods are worried I'd leave them behind.

Right. Like I'd ever let you go... I'm dragging you there kicking and screaming if I have to! (You must have missed that spot on your contract where it says you're never allowed to leave.)

Birol
08-23-2005, 12:49 AM
I really must learn not to sign anything when I'm sleep deprived.

JennaGlatzer
08-23-2005, 09:13 AM
Lori, I would've just gotten you drunk otherwise, so don't feel bad.

My partner says it'll probably be another week before the forum moves to its new host.

I am practicing patience, but I'm not very good at it yet.

Dawno
08-23-2005, 09:30 AM
Does this mean that there will be down time? You know I live here, right? I will have to stock up on comfort foods now.

*already getting nervous*

Birol
08-23-2005, 09:50 AM
The chat room isn't connected to the forums. That's our safe place and emergency meeting spot. Just make certain you know how to reach it if you can't access the link at the top of the forums. :)

Dawno
08-23-2005, 09:54 AM
The chat room isn't connected to the forums. That's our safe place and emergency meeting spot. Just make certain you know how to reach it if you can't access the link at the top of the forums. :)

ooh. Good thinking. I have mIRC now and know how to get there without the link. Just make sure the AW withdrawal counselors are there...

MacAllister
08-23-2005, 09:57 AM
Just make sure the AW withdrawal counselors are there... Dawno, but of COURSE! We'd be lost without 'em, too!

JennaGlatzer
08-23-2005, 10:16 AM
There shouldn't be any down time.

(Famous last words.)

I'll set up the IV bags and the comfy beds.

ChunkyC
08-23-2005, 10:08 PM
Are we there yet?

http://bestsmileys.com/cars/11.gif http://bestsmileys.com/cars/12.gif http://bestsmileys.com/cars/13.gif http://bestsmileys.com/cars/14.gif

Roger J Carlson
08-23-2005, 11:24 PM
I just heard. Good going, Jenna!

reph
08-25-2005, 01:54 AM
Are we leaving vBulletin? *clutches rep points to chest; a few spill*

ChunkyC
08-25-2005, 08:36 PM
Nope. Just puttin' all our papers in a new binder, so to speak. New host = new, more robust hardware to house the forums, and therefore fewer 'black-outs.' Everything should remain the same, except possibly the address to get here. If that doesn't have to change, you might not even notice when the changeover takes effect.

jdkiggins
08-26-2005, 07:44 AM
If I get lost, someone please grab my hand and pull me into the dance line with the others. :D

Dawno
08-26-2005, 08:54 AM
If I get lost, someone please grab my hand and pull me into the dance line with the others. :D

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/congaline.gif

Birol
08-26-2005, 09:13 AM
:ROFL:

Dawno, you're a nut.

jdkiggins
08-26-2005, 07:04 PM
Love those dancing smilies, Dawno. ;)

Dawno
08-26-2005, 07:16 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/curtsey.gif

awatkins
08-31-2005, 07:30 PM
Are we there yet?? :Jump:

Dawno
08-31-2005, 07:50 PM
Can we stop soon? I gotta go to the bathroom. And make Anne stop bouncing back here, I'm gonna ralph if she doesn't.

awatkins
08-31-2005, 11:00 PM
Dawno's on my side of the seat! She's touching me!

I'm hungry....can we stop somewhere, pleeeeeeeze???

Dawno
08-31-2005, 11:17 PM
Dawno's on my side of the seat! She's touching me!

I'm hungry....can we stop somewhere, pleeeeeeeze???

Am NOT. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/razz2.gif
And you touched me first.
Jenna, did you know there's gum in your hair and it's stuck to the headrest, too?
I want a Happy Meal (tm)!!

three seven
08-31-2005, 11:50 PM
Settle down back there. Dawno, you should have gone before we set off.

jdkiggins
08-31-2005, 11:57 PM
Dawno and Anne, quit already! I have to climb 13 steps to the bathroom and the kitchen. The power of suggestion is killing me.

awatkins
09-01-2005, 12:08 AM
She started it.






:poke: dawno

ChunkyC
09-01-2005, 12:34 AM
We were gonna stop along the way and see the world's biggest skateboard (http://www.worldsbiggestskateboard.com/), but if you girls don't pipe down back there, I'm just gonna keep driving no matter who sez who did what to who!
(http://www.worldsbiggestskateboard.com/)

maestrowork
09-01-2005, 12:46 AM
Tsk, tsk, Anne. Do I have to bring out the Claw?

awatkins
09-01-2005, 12:54 AM
The...the...Claw?? Ray's scaring me!

Stop it, I wanna see the World's Biggest Skateboard.

Dawno
09-01-2005, 12:56 AM
Settle down back there. Dawno, you should have gone before we set off.

I *did* but you keep giving us sodas.


We were gonna stop along the way and see the world's biggest skateboard (http://www.worldsbiggestskateboard.com/), but if you girls don't pipe down back there, I'm just gonna keep driving no matter who sez who did what to who!

I don't wanna see a stupid ol' skateboard, I wanna go to to Disneyland.


She started it.






:poke: dawno

See! I told you she was touching me!!:cry:

maestrowork
09-01-2005, 01:02 AM
OK, that's it. Dawno, you sit in a corner. And no ice cream for you either.

Dawno
09-01-2005, 01:06 AM
The corner of where???

by the way, you're a poopiehead. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/razz2.gif

awatkins
09-01-2005, 01:06 AM
Dawno wants to know what the Claw is.

Dawno
09-01-2005, 01:08 AM
do NOT!!



::this is soooo the "conversation" I would have with my kids way back when::

awatkins
09-01-2005, 01:09 AM
Yuh-HUH!

jdkiggins
09-01-2005, 01:10 AM
I'm happy I'm sitting in the front seat behind CC. I can get out the door before all h*ll breaks loose.

awatkins
09-01-2005, 01:13 AM
*sneaks a hand up and locks Joanne's door*

jdkiggins
09-01-2005, 01:16 AM
:scared: It's bad enough living with my own evil thoughts, now I'm locked in a bus to nowhere with you guys! :Smack:

awatkins
09-01-2005, 01:29 AM
Are we there yet?? :Jump:

Dawno
09-01-2005, 01:36 AM
Now her bird is pooping on my shoes! Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaommm!!

jdkiggins
09-01-2005, 01:36 AM
http://bestsmileys.com/cars/11.gif
:Jump: (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=1&forumid=0#)
:popcorn:
:PartySmil (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=1&forumid=0#)
This bus is suddenly getting crowded.

awatkins
09-01-2005, 01:47 AM
Dawno said poop.

And he did not!

jdkiggins
09-01-2005, 01:50 AM
Dawno's cat ate my story!

Dawno
09-01-2005, 01:51 AM
poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/wiggle.gif


Jenna's going to have to lock this thread to stop this :ROFL:

Sarita
09-01-2005, 01:55 AM
If I have to pull this car over, I swear to what-ever-God-you-worship, we're going right back home! And spankings for everyone but Ray!!!

oo, oo, Jenna! Are we there yet? Huh, huh, huh? :D

jdkiggins
09-01-2005, 01:56 AM
:Jump: (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=1&forumid=0#)Are we there? I heard someone say stop!

Dawno
09-01-2005, 02:01 AM
If I have to pull this car over, I swear to what-ever-God-you-worship, we're going right back home! And spankings for everyone but Ray!!!

oo, oo, Jenna! Are we there yet? Huh, huh, huh? :D

Ray was bad. He threatened Anne with the Claw. We're gonna report him to the authorities

HEY: UNKA JIM!!!

Sarita
09-01-2005, 02:04 AM
Yes, but see Dawno... How can I say this? There are some men out there that um, well.. see when mommy and daddy shout "spank me"... um, see some adults like it when... Oh nevermind. Ray doesn't get spankings. And.That's.Final.

maestrowork
09-01-2005, 02:04 AM
And spankings for everyone but Ray!!!


Excuse me?

maestrowork
09-01-2005, 02:05 AM
Ray was bad. He threatened Anne with the Claw. We're gonna report him to the authorities

HEY: UNKA JIM!!!

Dawno, I have to unleash the wrath of the Claw on you now...

(and Anne, don't laugh so hard, you're next, buster)

maestrowork
09-01-2005, 02:06 AM
Ray doesn't get spankings. And.That's.Final.

Excuse me?

Sarita
09-01-2005, 02:06 AM
Excuse me?Oh yeah. Bring on the claw! Just remember, no spankings for you!

jdkiggins
09-01-2005, 02:09 AM
:ROFL: Bawahahahahaha, Ray's been cut off!

maestrowork
09-01-2005, 02:09 AM
Sara, you're not getting the "claw" tonight...

Dawno
09-01-2005, 03:27 AM
oooh you're all talking naughty I'm gonna tell

ChunkyC
09-01-2005, 03:36 AM
Alright, alright! If you all settle down, we can stop for lunch. (http://www.starvingrascal.com/bigsandwich.htm)

Dawno
09-01-2005, 03:40 AM
Alright, alright! If you all settle down, we can stop for lunch. (http://www.starvingrascal.com/bigsandwich.htm)
:Clap: Yay!!

Sarita
09-01-2005, 03:44 AM
Hold the ham, for me! Yum, gigantic cheese sandwich sponsored by Bimbo!

ChunkyC
09-01-2005, 03:51 AM
Everybody get enough to eat? http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Okay, I have something to keep you busy for the rest of the trip. You can try making one of these (http://www.petpretties.20m.com/world%27sbiggestfurball.htm).

Sarita
09-01-2005, 03:53 AM
Ewwww! Maaaaaaammmmmm, Charlie's making me touch nasty dog fur!!!

Writer2011
09-01-2005, 03:55 AM
I need a spanking!! :)

maestrowork
09-01-2005, 04:05 AM
Everybody get enough to eat? http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/tongue.gif

Okay, I have something to keep you busy for the rest of the trip. You can try making one of these (http://www.petpretties.20m.com/world%27sbiggestfurball.htm).

How did you find these things? CC, I worry about you.

(and how did they bake that big piece of bread? I saw "Big" on Discovery before and they had trouble making a 5" thick piece of bread)

Dawno
09-01-2005, 04:25 AM
CC, all we've got back here are feathers....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/devil.gif

ChunkyC
09-01-2005, 04:39 AM
I think those are Jenna's pens (http://www.ostrichesonline.com/featheraccessory/fa-quill-pen-stand-long.html).

Google loves me. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif

awatkins
09-01-2005, 04:55 AM
CC, all we've got back here are feathers....

And CAT hair. :box:

Dawno
09-01-2005, 05:15 AM
And CAT hair. :box:

Just be glad it's just cat hair and not the cat. They like to have birdies for lunch!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/karate.gif

::just so you know, I love birds and would never, never want one harmed. Not one feather::

jdkiggins
09-01-2005, 06:27 AM
Alright, alright! If you all settle down, we can stop for lunch. (http://www.starvingrascal.com/bigsandwich.htm)
By the time I got back, lunch was gone and all that was left was the fur ball and pens! Guess if I'm going to keep up on this trip, I need to learn how to be quicker.

CC, can we stop at the next Dairy Queen? I'm hungry. Please!
Are we there yet?

CaoPaux
09-01-2005, 08:27 PM
Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall,
Ninety-nine bottles of beer...

ChunkyC
09-01-2005, 08:41 PM
Look kids, a moose!

awatkins
09-02-2005, 02:18 AM
Ooooh, pretty!

Sarita
09-02-2005, 02:21 AM
Can we take one with us, Chunky? :D Please? Please? We promise we'll be good!! Please?

awatkins
09-02-2005, 02:40 AM
I've never seen a moose before. Can I have the blue one? Pleeeeze??

awatkins
09-02-2005, 03:17 AM
Take one down, pass it around....

Dawno
09-02-2005, 04:15 AM
Them are not mooses. Them are elk! I saw it on TV once.

I'm gonna sing another song now: "My goat knows the bowling score, halellujah!
My goat knows the bowling score, halellu - uh- yah!"

jdkiggins
09-02-2005, 07:05 AM
Blue's my favorite color. I want the blue one!
Anne:poke: Can I have the blue one, please?:Jump:

awatkins
09-02-2005, 08:42 PM
We can share until Dad gets us another blue one, okay, Joanne? Hey, stop poking me! That tickles. :roll:

Dawn's singing something weird....

Dawno
09-02-2005, 10:59 PM
Oh yeah? At least I don't keep saying "Who's a Pretty Bird" over and over and over for 300 miles!

Aren't we there yet??

Birol
09-03-2005, 09:09 AM
The first time my parents took a trip without my brother and me, my brother asked them if we should make a tape of us bickering so every once in a while they could turn around and tell us to knock it off. We didn't want them to miss us too much, you understand.

SeanDSchaffer
09-03-2005, 09:34 AM
Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall!



:rolleyes:

Dawno
09-03-2005, 10:01 AM
EEEEWWWW!!! Who let the BOY back here??
Someone pass the cootie spray!!

MacAllister
09-03-2005, 10:26 AM
Dawno's on MY side of the seat...tell her to stay on her own side!

Dawno
09-03-2005, 10:33 AM
I'm trying, but there's Joanne and Anne and the bird and me and you! How many of us do you think can fit back here anyway? Maybe someone should have thought about the 9 seater mini-van instead of the 7 seater!

And I think I lost my shoe out the window.

Birol
09-03-2005, 10:43 AM
And just what were you doing that your shoe and the foot it was on were not inside the car, young lady?

Dawno
09-03-2005, 10:48 AM
I *tol'* you it's CROWDED back here! And no matter what Mac tells you it's not 'cuz I threw the shoe at anyone and it went out the window.

awatkins
09-03-2005, 06:11 PM
Well, Joanne was 'SPOSED to be in the front seat and then she moved back here and started poking people! I can't see. Where's my pillow? I have to go to the bathroom. How much further??

jdkiggins
09-03-2005, 06:25 PM
Nah, uh. I'm still in the front seat. You're the one who brought the blue cow...er, I mean moose, onto the bus. He's taking up all the room. We can share, Anne, there isn't any room for a second one.

:poke: CC, I'm with Anne, can we stop for a potty stop?
Are we there yet?:Jump:

SeanDSchaffer
09-04-2005, 07:20 PM
Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall. Ninety-eight bottles of beer....:rolleyes:

Dawno
09-04-2005, 08:23 PM
Dawno's Travel Journal: Day ?

"It is very stinky in here. There's a boy who keeps singing about beer and a parrot who's learning the words now. CC won't stop at any of the good places to eat with kids meals and free toys. Everywhere we stop has "The World's Largest" somtin or other. I wanna hit CC with the world's largest spit ball. I won't name names but someone snores and drools when they nap. Ever since my crayons melted I'm really bored. Jenna said I should write stuff in here about all the neeto places we go and things we seen. All I've seen is lots of trees and grass and other cars with other sad kids like me stuck in the back too. I met one of them at the last place with the world's largest toadstools, and he said he wished gas was a million dollars a gallon so they could just stop driving to all these places. His dad had a hat with antlers and wore black socks with sandals. I felt sorry for him."

alleycat
09-04-2005, 10:39 PM
What a delicious, oops, I mean nice looking bird!



Iím just kidding around, awatkins. :)

.

awatkins
09-04-2005, 10:53 PM
Ack. Now there are two cats in here. *holds parrots close* Nice kitty!

Ew. I just found a hairball in my shoe. Daaddddd, how much further??

alleycat
09-04-2005, 11:01 PM
I had a feeling that my cat would be more afraid of your parrot than the other way around.

So we better be nice to the bird....

awatkins
09-04-2005, 11:11 PM
My birds can meow. So I'm not sure who's making all the racket in here! ;)

Dawno
09-05-2005, 07:56 AM
Dawno's Travel Journal Day ?


After visiting the worlds largest gopher hole and the worlds largest ant farm and the worlds largest collection of antique glass eyes we finally got to stop for the night. Of course we don't stay in the nice motels with free HBO. Whose idea was it to 'camp out' on the way? A squirrel has run off with my other shoe. The mosquitos are thick and I swear they're flying in formation, the wingmen veer off and return to signal which of us forgot to bring any "Off". The ground is hard and my sleeping bag only zips up half way.

Sure, this is an "ADVENTURE TO TELL YOUR KIDS ABOUT" I can only hope to live long enough to start dating.

MacAllister
09-05-2005, 08:02 AM
oh oh! Can we stop at the World's Largest Cactus Garden? I just saw a sign! They have ice cream, too!

Dawno
09-05-2005, 08:06 AM
oh oh! Can we stop at the World's Largest Cactus Garden? I just saw a sign! They have ice cream, too!


Please, please, just leave me at the next Gas n Go. I'll just hitchhike home.

jdkiggins
09-05-2005, 08:15 AM
oh oh! Can we stop at the World's Largest Cactus Garden? I just saw a sign! They have ice cream, too!

Ice cream! :snoopy: I scream for ice cream!:Jump:
I'll buy you a cactus, Mac, if you can talk CC into stopping. :)

Birol
09-05-2005, 08:24 AM
No problem. CC, pull over. No, really. I mean it. :D

Mac, here's enough money to get everyone an ice cream cone. No, no, the moose can't go. The cats and the parrot have to stay in the car, too.

It's okay. I'll stay with them. No worries.

*Lori watches the crew head off to see the cactus, pushing and poking one another. As soon as they are out of sight, she stows the parrot in its cage and puts the cats in crates. She rearranges the SUV's storage compartment and places the animals in there, the cats separated from the bird by a cooler. She moves the blue cow-moose to a trailer. She discovers Dawno's missing shoe on top of the vehicle, stashes it in the back seat, and pulls out a tape measure and a bright red sharpie marker and marking the seats into equal propotions.*

Dawno
09-05-2005, 08:32 AM
Ms Lori, ma'am, CC's gonna be a bit late getting back to the car. The nice lady with the red cross on her coat said they probably won't need to do much more than pick the spines out of his hiney and put on some bactine...

MacAllister
09-05-2005, 08:35 AM
But Joanne bought me this cool cactus! LOOK! It's nearly as big as ME!

Birol
09-05-2005, 08:38 AM
:ROFL:

I hate to ask, but what did you guys do... uh, I mean, how did he get hurt?

jdkiggins
09-05-2005, 08:40 AM
Don't worry, Mac, Lori will somehow fit it the SUV's storage compartment next to the cooler, the cats and the bird. :D

jdkiggins
09-05-2005, 08:41 AM
:ROFL:

I hate to ask, but what did you guys do... uh, I mean, how did he get hurt?

It was the catcus, Lori. The long, slender, pointy spines of the cactus. :ROFL:But we're not telling how CC ended up with them where he did.

Birol
09-05-2005, 08:43 AM
Don't worry, Mac, Lori will somehow fit it the SUV's storage compartment next to the cooler, the cats and the bird. :D

I think it can go into the trailer next to the cow-moose.

MacAllister
09-05-2005, 08:44 AM
I still think it was a little weird for CC to want his picture taken posing with the cactus like that.

Hey! Does this mean I get to drive?

jdkiggins
09-05-2005, 08:44 AM
I think it can go into the trailer next to the cow-moose.
Poor cow-moose!

jdkiggins
09-05-2005, 08:45 AM
Sure, Mac, CC can sit...er lean, in the front seat with me.

MacAllister
09-05-2005, 08:59 AM
http://bestsmileys.com/dancing/12.gif
I get to drive...I get to drive...I get to drive...

jdkiggins
09-05-2005, 09:11 AM
Only if you can see through those shades! :D

SeanDSchaffer
09-05-2005, 09:12 AM
Dawno's Travel Journal: Day ?

"It is very stinky in here. There's a boy who keeps singing about beer and a parrot who's learning the words now. ...snipped"


Five million bottles of BEER on the wall, five million bottles of BEER....

jdkiggins
09-05-2005, 09:13 AM
DAWNO, stinky's back! Lori, can we put him in the trailer too?

MacAllister
09-05-2005, 09:17 AM
SEATBELTS!!!! LOAD 'EM UP!!! How many cylinders does this thing have? Is it turbo-charged?

VRrrrrrrrrrooooom! VVVVRRrrrrrrroooooooommm!
Oh, good.
CC got it tuned up before we left--good on ya, Chunk.

Dawno
09-05-2005, 09:25 AM
How come she gets to drive? I'm older! I bet she doesn't even have her learners permit yet. And which one of us had a gi-normous cactus with big ol' spines on it *RIGHT BEFORE* the 'incident'????

hmmm???

SeanDSchaffer
09-05-2005, 09:26 AM
DAWNO, stinky's back! Lori, can we put him in the trailer too?


Hey, I'm a day older than you! You're s'posed to Respect Your Elders!
:rolleyes:

Ten Billion Bottles of BEER on the Wall, Ten BILLION bottles of BEER....


:Cheers: :Cheers: :Cheers:

MacAllister
09-05-2005, 09:29 AM
Sean--I think you're counting the wrong way. Wasn't it ten MILLION a while ago?

Dawno, maybe you should read us some more of your trip journal. :D Did you write about the part we....err, I mean where Lori accidentally locked herself in the Gas-n-Go bathroom?

And what the heck were you thinking playing hide-n-seek in the back of that pick-up truck, when you KNEW we were leaving any minute?

SeanDSchaffer
09-05-2005, 09:34 AM
Sean--I think you're counting the wrong way. Wasn't it ten MILLION a while ago?



No, it was FIVE million, and I'm counting the right way! I know 'cuz it's 5, 10, 17, 82, 1, 100, 74.....

See, I know how ta count!

:Smack:


Naw, just havin' fun. It's actually 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, 9, uh, 3, um, 52, er, uh....

jdkiggins
09-05-2005, 09:41 AM
No you don't, Shawn. You just put me back in college! Glad you took years off me instead of height or I'd disappear completely. :ROFL:

Mac, STOP THE CAR! I didn't get my ice cream. :( See what being short does. Who counted for the ice cream? Bet it was Shawn!

Birol
09-05-2005, 09:45 AM
Sean--I think you're counting the wrong way. Wasn't it ten MILLION a while ago?

Haven't you ever heard of the version where, after you drink all the bottles of beer on the wall, you restack the empties?

SeanDSchaffer
09-05-2005, 07:08 PM
Haven't you ever heard of the version where, after you drink all the bottles of beer on the wall, you restack the empties?


Yeah! Yeah! That's right! See, I'm doing everything right! Told ya so!


:poke: :poke:

Dawno
09-06-2005, 01:24 AM
Dawno's Travel Journal Day ?

We stopped at a Gas n Go and CC warned us that if we didn't get right back on the road we'd be too late to see the World's Largest Cookoo Clock strike 12:00. It was really awful that poor Lori found herself unable to unlock the restroom door and that it took the Gas n Go people so long to find a crowbar. They have no idea how that superglue got poured into the deadbolt. I don't think the free super soda really helped with Lori's temper.

Now I know that people think I was hiding in the trailer but really, I was visiting with the kitties when someone closed the door and I was stuck inside. Honest. It is a shame that I fell asleep and it took so long for anyone to find me and we missed the clock striking noon. Considering how it took the clock 15 minutes to finish striking 2 I think we ended up ahead by about half an hour anyway.

And I don't understand why CC thinks I would steal his copy of "Where The World's Largest Stuff Is"

CaoPaux
09-06-2005, 11:51 PM
Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

jdkiggins
09-08-2005, 05:51 AM
My cable Internet isnít working as fast. I cleaned my cache. I dumped a pile of files. Oops! Excuse me Anne and Dawno. Didnít mean for them to come flying to the back seat. The threads on the tires of this motorcade are getting thin and Iím running out of short jokes for myself. We still havenít stopped for the little girlsí room. And I NEVER DID GET MY ICE CREAM!!!!:Jump::Jump::Jump:



Are we there yet?

Birol
09-08-2005, 05:55 AM
Joanne, if you didn't get your ice cream, what's that dribbled all over the front of your shirt?

I think you kids all need to take a lesson from Dawno and quietly write in your notebooks for a while.


Mac, we needed to take that exit. Yes, the one right next to us and two lanes over. Oh, jeez. We could've always doubled-back or taken a secondary road.

(Hmm.... Where are we going, anyway?)

jdkiggins
09-08-2005, 06:03 AM
That's not ice cream. That's bird doo doo from Anne's bird. I can't help I'm short and it dropped its load on me when I walked by.

I have no idea where we're going, Lori. I jumped in because I saw all of you headed for the cars. Thought it might be fun.

Boy, I sure didn't think it would be this crazy.

Okay, okay, already. I'll go write!

Dawno
09-08-2005, 07:24 AM
...all along the roadside, everywhere a certain SUV has passed by, there are pieces of paper torn from a large ruled spiral notebook fluttering about in the breezes--if you stop to pick one up you can see written on them in green crayon in a childish hand:



HELP!! I'M BEING FORCED AGAINST MY WILL TO VISIT THE WORLD'S LARGEST NOSE HAIR TRIMMER COLLECTION. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

jdkiggins
09-08-2005, 07:26 AM
:ROFL: Ha! And Lori thought you were writing in your journal!

Dawno
09-08-2005, 07:31 AM
::shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh::

jdkiggins
09-08-2005, 07:39 AM
Joanne crawls back under the front seat to hide. :gone: When the litter patrol stops the convoy, please tell them you have no idea who the Roadkill/Kiggins Page 1 through 430 manuscript belongs to. Remember they just happen to fly into the back seat!

Birol
09-08-2005, 08:32 AM
*Lori notices Joanne has cracked the back window open the barest slit and is feeding her manuscript pages out of it on at a time. She fails to notice Dawno's activies.*

Joanne, please tell me that you have that saved on disk somewhere?

MacAllister
09-08-2005, 10:31 AM
Does anyone have any idea why that highway patrol car keeps zooming up beside us and waving frantically, like that? I'm not speeding anymore--so it can't be that he's gonna write me a ticket.

All his lights are going, though--so I wanna make sure we all have our stories straight before I pull over...

jdkiggins
09-08-2005, 05:55 PM
He he! Woo Hoo! This may work. My theory was that one must have some type of news headline under his or her belt in order for publishers to be interested in your novel. You know what I meanóThose who played on the Survivor show now have books published, prison inmates have books published, the sister of the guy who allegedly killed his wife in CA has a book published, Martha Stewart, the list goes on and on and on.

Of course one has to send it in before it can be read and considered.

Mac, this cop is zooming and weaving as he catches the pages of Roadkill for evidence of a disturbed woman littering reams of copy paper out a convoy window. (What better way to submit for publication.):)

Certainly, Lori! I have several disk copies in many bizarre stages of editing tucked away in my attorneyís office just for this purpose.

I can see the headlines now. :eek:

Deranged Woman Throws Book to the Wind in Hopes of Publishing.
Manuscript becomes Roadkill prior to authorís arrest for littering.

robeiae
09-08-2005, 05:56 PM
This is better than Thelma and Louise...hope you change the ending, though.

Rob :popcorn:

jdkiggins
09-08-2005, 06:13 PM
Oh yes, Rob. There are several compromising endings, none of which possess such inordinate excitement as this trip. :D

Birol
09-08-2005, 07:31 PM
I'm just astounded that Mac wants us to all tell the same story. Doesn't she realize she's in a car full of writers? If we all told the same story, wouldn't that be plagiarism? That would be wrong. In order to properly entertain the nice police officer, we all need a different stories to explain why we're crammed into the SUV (or is this a mini-van) and towing a trailer containing a blue cow-moose, two cats, an illegal parrot, and a man-sized cactus while tossing manuscript pages to the wind.

Has anyone seen CC lately?

awatkins
09-08-2005, 07:40 PM
<---- Hay! My parrot is too legal! Jenna said so! And that ain't parrot do on Joanne's shirt. People blame him for everything. :cry:

I'm bored. Let's do the wave!! C'mon, everybody...1...2...3...

:TheWave::TheWave:

jdkiggins
09-08-2005, 08:02 PM
In order to properly entertain the nice police officer, we all need a different stories
My story is at post #134, and stickin' to it!:Hammer: Now, where's my attorney and my shoebox full of disks?

jdkiggins
09-08-2005, 08:02 PM
I'll join in on the wave, just to make Anne happy. :D

:TheWave::TheWave:

awatkins
09-08-2005, 08:04 PM
We're both short, Joanne, so our wave shouldn't get us in trouble. :D Wheee!!!

:TheWave::TheWave::TheWave:

robeiae
09-08-2005, 08:05 PM
Say...if the cop's a chick, lemme know, 'kay?

Rob :)

ChunkyC
09-08-2005, 09:07 PM
http://bestsmileys.com/cars/2.gif
Mac finally pulls over. "Hey," she says, "look who's getting out of that cop car -- it's CC!! OOh, he looks mad."

CC limps up to the SUV, yanks the side door open and steps back as empty pop cans and candy wrappers fall out onto the side of the road, along with a single feather that floats lazily away on the breeze. He stares at it for a moment, then suppressed the urge to say something incomprehensible about life and a box of chocolate and turns back to the wide-eyed crew in the SUV.

"You bet I'm mad," he shouts. "You little nose-miners left me at the truck stop!"

A chorus of "he/she did it!"s fills the air amid a flurry of pointing fingers. Chunky realizes it would take Perry Mason and the cast of Law and Order to figure this one out, so he gives up and climbs into the SUV, and lies face down on the cooler. "Alright Mac. Take us to the next attraction (http://www.wlra.us/wl/wlmuskie.htm)!

Birol
09-08-2005, 09:20 PM
Ooo. I saw a PBS special about this one. They've built other fish, too, but only the muskie is designed to let you climb inside it. :Jump:


*sigh* I'm glad Joanne has her WIP saved to disk. If she didn't, we'd have to backtrack and find every last one of those 430 pages.

Sarita
09-08-2005, 10:48 PM
Oooo, a giant muskie. Don't tell Frank, he'll be jealous. :D

awatkins
09-08-2005, 11:35 PM
Cool! A giant fish-house-observation-thing! :Jump:

Birol
09-08-2005, 11:40 PM
*The car suddenly grows unnaturally quiet (there hasn't been a moment of true quiet since before the vehicle first left AW). As one, everyone turns to look at Dawno, who is sitting, very, very still in the backseat. Her lower lip trembles. She sniffs mightily before....*

Dawno
09-09-2005, 12:15 AM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Dawno
09-09-2005, 12:30 AM
Dawno's Travel Journal Day ?


I really don't know how the super glue got spilled down into my seatbelt. I would have enjoyed visiting the world's largest muskie, my mom and dad voted for him back in '72.

ChunkyC
09-09-2005, 12:52 AM
http://bestsmileys.com/lol/5.gif

jdkiggins
09-09-2005, 02:14 AM
I know I saw CC struggling to get a Coke out of the cooler while he was still sprawled out face down on it. I'm sure of it! So, if CC is once again safe (and I use that word loosely) with us in the SUV, why is the cop still following us?

Did we leave someone behind?

ChunkyC
09-09-2005, 02:33 AM
My behind is not loose. I took some Kaopectate.

jdkiggins
09-09-2005, 02:48 AM
:ROFL: Oh, I thought I saw you buying Preperation H.

awatkins
09-09-2005, 11:17 PM
*yawn* Where are we?

Dawno
09-09-2005, 11:34 PM
Where ever we are, you can bet we're near the world's largest something.

robeiae
09-09-2005, 11:40 PM
What happened to the cops? Are you guys fugitives, now?

Rob :)

Dawno
09-12-2005, 11:38 PM
OK, the first post on this thread was made on Aug. 17th, nearly a month ago. You will note the highlighted text below:

Hooray! My partner has set us up with a new hosting company just for the forums. We may have to switch urls (instead of absolutewrite.com/forums, it may turn into absolutewriteforums.com or something). But I am pretty sure it won't disrupt anything as far as posts, usernames, etc. This should all happen in the next week. I'll let you know.

Cross your toes for no more down-time and no more glitches!




http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/captain.gifAre we there yet???

If we're "there" it was really glitchless! If not, http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/100.gif

jdkiggins
09-13-2005, 01:33 AM
I don't think we're there yet, Dawno. My head is still spinning. :ROFL:

Dawno
09-13-2005, 04:06 AM
I don't think we're there yet, Dawno. My head is still spinning. :ROFL:

Somebody dared Mac to do "donuts" on the Interstate again? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/nervous.gifYou'd think they'd have learnt their lesson by now.

jdkiggins
09-14-2005, 07:31 PM
Somebody dared Mac to do "donuts" on the Interstate again? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/nervous.gifYou'd think they'd have learnt their lesson by now.

I think it was Lori who dared Mac to do the donuts, about the same time she tried to push me out the door of the SUV. I hung on for dear life and managed to climb back in. I'm still here and still dizzy. :D

Birol
09-14-2005, 07:50 PM
Oh, Joanne, why did you think I told you to put your rollerblades on?

robeiae
09-15-2005, 08:12 PM
From what I've seen in the movies, it is unbelievable that a bunch of chicks have been driving around acting wacky for this long...and no one's had their top ripped off yet. Does this mean real life is not like the movies, or that I'll have to watch a little longer...

:popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn:

Rob :)

Dawno
09-16-2005, 12:16 AM
Chicks?

I say we put rob in the back with the parrots and cats.

Birol
09-16-2005, 12:22 AM
Behind the blue cow-moose maybe? ;)

jdkiggins
09-16-2005, 12:39 AM
Chicks?

I say we put rob in the back with the parrots and cats.


Behind the blue cow-moose maybe? ;)

Sounds good to me. He can have the rollerblades I didn't use. Maybe he can keep up. :D

awatkins
09-16-2005, 02:53 AM
I wonder how ChunkyC and Sean feel about being called chicks. :ROFL:

robeiae
09-16-2005, 03:57 AM
I wonder how ChunkyC and Sean feel about being called chicks. :ROFL:
If they're here, they sure are quiet. Ever seen a guy in car driven by a ...lady...remain silent for this long. Specially since you all are lost.

Rob :)

jdkiggins
09-16-2005, 03:57 AM
:roll:

Dawno
09-16-2005, 08:09 AM
Behind the blue cow-moose maybe? ;)


I say UNDER the blue cow-moose...

JennaGlatzer
09-16-2005, 08:10 AM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/captain.gifAre we there yet???



If we're "there" it was really glitchless! If not, http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/100.gif



Shush! I was so excited that you were all keeping each other so well distracted!

I have no idea what's going on. I keep asking my partner and he keeps ignoring me. Of course, he did have surgery last week.

Dawno
09-16-2005, 08:12 AM
Surgery? that's no excuse. I walked uphill in 60mph duststorms to school as a kid ... no wait, that's a different rant...


I hope he's recovering well. Really.

Since we're gonna be on this trip for awhile I suggest we play license plate bingo.

jdkiggins
09-16-2005, 08:20 AM
Sorry to hear about his surgery. Hope all is well.

License plate bingo! WOO HOO!!
You start Dawno. :)

Someone move that cow-moose's tail so I can see the plate. Whose car is this anyway?

Dawno
09-16-2005, 08:23 AM
hmm I see a Wyoming plate with the number 8 in it. BINGO!!

Birol
09-16-2005, 11:14 AM
It's a rental, Joanne. Do you really think we'd abuse one of our own vehicles like this?

Macallister, I think we need to restock on supplies since the trip's continuing. Can we stop at a Wal--- *Lori is cut off as Macallister causes the vehicle to swerve across the road* Can we stop at a series of mom & pop shops to restock? I think we need one that sells groceries for snacks, juice boxes, and soda/pop, one that sells things to entertain the kids, and maybe a bookstore *Lori is interrupted by the sounds of excited shouts and squeals from the backseat* so we can find some different tourist guides and lists of things to do and places to see on the roadtrip. *The backseat crowd continues to bounce up and down while chanting 'bookstore, bookstore, bookstore'.* Writers. Sheesh. Looks like we might be able to combine the entertainment and the bookstore stop. Oh, we probably should buy some new notebooks, too. Looks like Dawno has used all the paper in hers.

Dawno
09-16-2005, 11:24 AM
::written on the back of several HoJo's placemats with syrup drops and coffee stains::

Dawno's travel journal Day eleventy billion six gazillion


I'm eating the fuzzy gummy worms I found in the seatback pocket since the last of the turkey jerky got eaten and we still haven't stopped for lunch. I'm starting to think of Parrot as an acceptable substitute for chicken nuggets. I tried to hide in the nostril of the World's Largest Limestone Statute of a Hedgehog but Mac ratted me out to Lori. Now I'm getting carsick from all the swerving from side to side. I'm sure that somewhere there are places with the World's Most Normal stuff but we're not visiting any of those places. At the last rest stop I tried to blend in with a troop of Brownie Scouts but nobody would share any bits of their uniforms and the leader turned me into the lost and found. I'm beginning to lose hope.

JennaGlatzer
09-16-2005, 12:12 PM
I can't believe you still hold onto the claim that you're not a writer.

robeiae
09-16-2005, 05:18 PM
that's a different rant...
Of course I know you're still thinking about rantallions...

Rob :)

jdkiggins
09-16-2005, 06:20 PM
hmm I see a Wyoming plate with the number 8 in it. BINGO!!

Pennsylvania plate: I82MUCH

ChunkyC
09-16-2005, 09:49 PM
Look kids, a deer! (http://www.stallionstation.com/gentlegiants/photos.html)

MacAllister
09-16-2005, 10:05 PM
Oh, Oh! I know where we can have lunch (http://www.wlra.us/hb/hbburger.htm)! There's a little roadhouse where we can get burgers and beers...

Lori, you know perfectly well we don't mention the Evil Wal**** Empire in the same vehicle as me.

Rob...I hate to break it to ya, but I'm no lady.

Dawno, what on earth are you scrubbing around in the floorboards for? What IS that? Eww!!! Don't put that in your mouth!

three seven
09-16-2005, 10:08 PM
Eww!!! Don't put that in your mouth!You know it's mothers like you that... Never mind.

robeiae
09-17-2005, 12:54 AM
Rob...I hate to break it to ya, but I'm no lady.
Please provide the correct terminology to properly reference your existence.

Rob :)

MacAllister
09-17-2005, 01:19 AM
I would, but I don't think we're supposed to use those words here...

ChunkyC
09-17-2005, 01:56 AM
I would, but I don't think we're supposed to use those words here...
We can't say 'flibbertigibbet' here? *runsandhides*

robeiae
09-17-2005, 03:18 AM
*sigh* Guess we'll have to with Rodney Dangerfield...

Rob...I hate to break it to ya, but I'm no lady.
You're no dooknob either, are ya toots? Okay...alright...

Rob :) (whose original use of the term 'lady' was dripping with sarcasm, a point clearly missed by a car load of chicks...)

jdkiggins
09-17-2005, 03:25 AM
Who are you callin' chicks?

MacAllister
09-17-2005, 03:26 AM
oooooooooohhhh! SARCasm! Why dint ya just SAY so...?

CaoPaux
09-17-2005, 03:29 AM
Uh huh, yeah, sure, so you say. :tongue

Dawno
09-18-2005, 06:30 AM
Dawno's Travel Journal Day - Could Be Our Last One


I think Mac wants to poison me, nothing that color pink can be good for you, no matter what she says about helping my stomach ache. I'm pretty sure it's because I said I could see the family resemblance between her and that statue at the burger place...I meant the friendly smile, really. Besides, I didn't eat something old and icky off the floor, I dropped my last piece of that two pound Pecan Roll. Of course I had to eat the whole thing quickly before the rest found out about it and made me share.

CC has everyone else convinced that those giant creatures back a ways were deer. I have my "Woodland Wonders" ViewMaster slides and I know for a fact those were gazelles. And, since those were gazelles, I know now that we are lost in the great Veldt of Central Africa. I expect to be eaten by lions and my carcass discovered by National Geographic.

This is probably a blessing in disguise since I don't think I can handle one more day of Mac's slalom style driving and CC muttering about staying off the interstates for the shortest routes to the next "World's Largest Thing Guaranteed to Make Dawno Die of Boredom". I mean come on, the World's Largest Thermometer (http://www.wlra.us/wl/wltherm.htm)? If only I could convince someone to take his temperature with it -- and not under the tongue if you know what I mean...

So when the National Geographic happens upon the final resting place of this sorry group and finds this journal grasped in the skeletal remains of my hand in the middle of the blazing Veldt I hope children around the world will heed my last warning - if you're given the chance to stay at Grammies or take a road trip, stay with Grammie!!

jdkiggins
09-18-2005, 06:49 AM
:ROFL: :ROFL::ROFL:OMG, Dawno. That's hilarious!

Where'd that piece of pecan roll go? :idea:

Birol
09-18-2005, 07:07 AM
I think everyone could handle a day out of the car to stretch their legs. Mac, why don't you aim the car the world's longest drivable beach (http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tour/nw6.html) and we let everyone play in the surf for the day?

Dawno
09-18-2005, 07:40 AM
::Found by a Portugese Expatriate Fisherman: a floating 'Sobe Lizard Lava' bottle with a Denny's KidsMeal Placemat inside, near the Galapagos Islands. On the back of the placemat in purple crayon is a gritty note::



This might be my last chance to get rescued. If you are reading this I've buried myself in a sand dune at the world's longest drivable beach (http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tour/nw6.html) - I think I can hold out for a few days, please call the coast guard or even a life guard. Look for the dune with the flag sticking out of it made from a shopping bag that says "Thanks for Stopping at the Hub Of America in Rugby, North Dakota, the Geographical Center of North America" (http://www.roadsideamerica.com/map/nd.html)

MacAllister
09-18-2005, 04:59 PM
Allrighty, fellow travellers! Whaddaya say we give the "World's Largest" roadtrip tour a little rest for a while, and have an adventure, instead?

Good! I knew you'd feel that way!

Since we're already in the neighborhood, we're off to Skamania County (http://www.inthegorge.com/bigfoot.html), to search for Bigfoot (http://www.inthegorge.com/bigfoot_reports.htm)! We'll hike the base of scenic active volcano, Mt St Helens (http://www.fs.fed.us/gpnf/mshnvm/), and camp in the woods (http://www.hikercentral.com/campgrounds/112637.html) like pioneers! We can eat freeze-dried cr...delicacies that we reconstitute with purified stream water!

Everyone brought your rain gear, right? Autumn in the great NW can turn rather suddenly...soggy.

Someone pull Dawno out from under that little sand hill, and don't forget to grab that shopping bag full of beach litter--wouldn't want to leave that!

Load 'em up and move 'em OUT!!!

Dawno
09-18-2005, 10:57 PM
Daw-ow-no's ow Travel Jou-ow-rnal Day Owowowowow!!


It was nice of Joanne and Anne to brush the sand out of my hair although they could have tried not to pull so much out. I think they were a bit cranky because they'd gotten too much sun. Joanne isn't usually that shade of red, except for the time the highway patrol person was asking questions about some papers she found on the freeway. If you want to avoid sunburn you should consider the benefits of enjoying the beach from under a foot of sand.

I heard on the radio that the Dept. of Homeland Security had run off a South American fishing trawler from the coastal waters with someone on board waving a bottle of Lizard Lava and saying "Eu quero salvar pouco Alvorecer-o!! Eu quero salvar pouco Alvorecer (http://babelfish.altavista.com/)-o!!" And later the DHS was seen raking down the sand dunes along the beaches and searching for something with bomb sniffing dogs. I'm glad we'd already left by then, I don't want to share my last balogna sandwich with a pack of german shepherds or get blowed up from some terrific bombs left by CAFTA protesters. (That's what the guy on the radio said, why would I make this up??)

Mac says we're going to find Bigfoot. I said "look no further, there's CC in the front seat" and boy did Lori give me a glare. You don't want to be under that evil eye for long, let me tell you.

ChunkyC
09-19-2005, 02:07 AM
:ROFL: *gasp - can't breathe* :roll:

Birol
09-19-2005, 05:39 AM
Dawno, Joanne, take that pillow off Charlie's face.

Dawno
09-19-2005, 05:49 AM
But Lori, his snoring will give us away to the Bigfoot and he'll get scareded and run away before we can get good pictures of him.

Anne says that some parts of a pine tree are edible. She said this Christmas monkey said so on TV.

Does our tent have cable? I don't want to miss tonite's episode of Rome on HBO.

awatkins
09-19-2005, 06:32 AM
No, no, no. I said the pine resin is chewy and makes a good substitute for bubble gum! But it's really hard to get out of cat hair. Sorry! :eek:

Birol
09-19-2005, 06:48 AM
I have a flashlight, a digital camera, a bag of trail mix, and a bottle of water. I'm going to go look for the bigfoot. When I get back, please have the cats unstuck from the pine trees.

MacAllister
09-19-2005, 06:56 AM
Let's rustle up some dinner!

Dawno, you're going to go and fetch some nice cattail pollen, Joanne can dig roots and gather rose-hips. Anne, if you can find us some dandelion greens--it's late in the year for them, but perhaps that meadow back by the road we took in? CC can start the fire and I'll go find some birch bark!

Dawno
09-19-2005, 07:06 AM
::hello, Pizza Hut? Do you deliver to the forest?::

jdkiggins
09-19-2005, 07:47 AM
Dawno, I apologize for the clumps of hair that came out, but you really should try using conditioner and lay off the hair spray. I was red when the cop asked about the papers? Hmm. Must have been the reflection of the patrol car lights. :)

Iím so sorry, CC. I didnít know you were under the pillow when I sat down.

Oh goodie! Now youíre talking. This trip has just turned into my newest journey into the woodlands. Whoopee!

You guys had no idea that huge duffle bag under the seat was mine, did you? And I wondered why no one bothered to ask what those long poles were on top of the suv. I know how to pack for trips like this!

Look out the window! My :Guitar: is ready and waiting. The two 24-foot teepees are already set up, thereís buffalo stew cookiní in the cast iron kettle over the fire I just built with pine needles, leaves and twigs and a little spark from my flint. While Dawno was munching on the Pecan Roll, I kept the two pans of cornbread a secret so all you could enjoy it with the stew.

So come on everyone, get your butts off those seats and come eat.

Oh, I forgot. You can't move, can you? While everyone was making such a fuss about Dawnoís hair, I told Anne to boil that pine sap.We made glue with the pine sap and spread it on everyoneís seats . :ROFL:


Letís go enjoy the fire, Anne. :D Arenít the stars beautiful tonight? And look at that moon! I wonder if the others can see it from inside the cars? Don't worry, I'll tell them how to get unglued from the seats in the morning. :roll: Right now, I'm hungry.

Dawno
09-19-2005, 07:58 AM
Hi guys, do you think CC's insurance covers the interior of the SUV? I had to cut the seat cushion to get out here.

The Pizza Hut guy will be here soon, I hope you like pepperoni.

Mac offered me the GameBoy for my Swiss Army knife - do you have a good counter offer?

jdkiggins
09-19-2005, 08:17 AM
Dawno, I'll trade you my new box of crayons for a piece of pizza without pepperoni. That darn bear ate my stew!

Dawno
09-19-2005, 08:35 AM
Dawno, I'll trade you my new box of crayons for a piece of pizza without pepperoni. That darn bear ate my stew!

That's a deal. But if you think a bear is scary you better let Lori out of the SUV pretty soon. I don't think I'm esposta know some of those words she's using.

robeiae
09-19-2005, 04:31 PM
:popcorn:

(this is normally about the time that the deranged killer takes his first victim...probably whoever leaves camp to pee...)

Rob :)

Sarita
09-19-2005, 04:39 PM
Man, I really have to pee...

(looks like I'm about to beat Dawno for the exodus status, regardless of the polls. :))

awatkins
09-19-2005, 05:49 PM
I'd love to sit by the fire with you, Joanne, but Mac told me to go gather dandelion greens from that meadow waaaayyyyy back yonder. So I'm using the cat carrier for a basket and I'll be back shortly with a buncho' fresh greens.

Hay! Who put this RED SHIRT on me??

robeiae
09-19-2005, 06:38 PM
:popcorn:

(I wonder if any of them have noticed the toothless idiot, sitting on that nearby bridge playing "Dueling Banjos"?...)

Rob :)

ChunkyC
09-19-2005, 07:23 PM
*CC slips out of his pants, leaving them glued to the seat, and begins rearranging Joanne's cooking apparatus into a still. It won't be long before everyone starts asking for a second helping of gravy. Mac glances about the clearing and mumbles something about not knowing there was to be a full moon tonight. The kid with the banjo smiles knowingly.*

maestrowork
09-20-2005, 01:19 AM
So... this is where all the kids went...

PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!

robeiae
09-20-2005, 04:01 AM
:popcorn:

(Ray, they're in the middle of the freakin' woods...they can't have a pillow fight; 'course, they could find a mountain waterfall and crystal lake, then decide to go skinny dippin'...let's wait and see what happens next)

Rob :)

Yeshanu
09-20-2005, 05:03 AM
<A battered old mini-van pulls up beside the shiny new SUV with the pine gum smeared interior. A woman gets out of the van and saunters over to the group.>

Thought I'd join the party. I've been following your somewhat erratic progress for about eight pages now, and I have only one question:


Does anyone know where the heck we're going? (And CC, find some pants before those friendly police officers I noticed a ways back catch up to us...)

<With that, Ruth sits down near a stream, and pulling out a book on fishing by an eraser, of all things, she gets down to the business of teasing the local aquatic denizens, while expertly fending off pillows thrown by Ray.>

Dawno
09-20-2005, 08:02 AM
Dawno's Travel Journal - No idea anymore what day it is but the moss grows on both sides of the trees here and Mac is trying to figure our location by the stars.


While the pizza guy was trying to find someone to pay for the extra large peperroni pizza (and avoiding looking at CC running around in his undies) I crawled into the back of his car and hid under the other pizzas. I was sure that this plan would get me back to civailz, civelzia, places with people.

Apparently some lady with a fishing pole drove up as I was getting in and saw me and tol' Lori so now everyone is taking turns 'keeping an eye on that child'.

Ray showeded up with a buncha pillows and started swinging them and throwing them at Anne and Joanne who were suppos'ta be watching me so I started off towards the road but that fisherlady ratted me out again. I asked her if she had been a prison guard. She laughed and so did I but then I had to listen to the 'don't be rude' lecture from CC. It is hard to take a guy in his skivvies seriously.

They're all sitting around a campfire now having some kind of roots and grubs stew - gee isn't nature wonderful. Thank goodness I had some of the pizza from the back of that delivery car or I'd be forced to eat stuff that didn't come from a delivery guy or a grocery store. ick. Everyone is getting pretty giggly but I don't get the joke.

Mac keeps asking folks if they happen to be wearing silver jewelry, CC looks really odd in those pants they dug out of Joanne's backpack and forced him to wear, and the critters in the trailer are mighty quiet. I'm not sure if I can sleep without all their mooing and squawking and purring.

CC says we're not in the African Veldt so I don't have to worry about lions and stuff. That's good because I would rather not have National Geographic print a picture of hyenas fighting over my remainants. I'm kind of glad we're in the woods because I've discovered something about Bigfoot that I'm not telling any of these looneys about cuz I'm gonna sell the story to the Weekly World News. Gramma says it's the best tablet paper ever. I'm not sure what that means cuz you can't draw on it cuz they print on every page and all my tablets just have lines to help you print straight.

I know they'll be intersetsetd, instrerest, they'll like it because they print all kinds of Bigfoot stories, like the one with the picture of Tip O'Neill and Bill Clinton with the lady Bigfoots - Bigfeet - getting into the limo in Warshington DC on the cover.

Anyway, I found this place behind some bushes near a tree and the ground was all scuffed up and had broken twigs and stuff, like Bigfoot had been sitting there, watching us from a ways away...and I have discovered his favorite food!! I bet they pay me a billiondy dollars to know that Bigfoot eats Orville Redenbacher Extra Buttery Microwave Popcorn.

robeiae
09-20-2005, 05:52 PM
:popcorn:

(I'm gettin' thirsty...I'm gonna make a Slurpee run to 7-11)

Rob :)

L M Ashton
09-20-2005, 06:00 PM
Slurpees. *drools* I miss slurpees. *drools more*

Yeshanu
09-21-2005, 02:55 AM
Popcorn. I smell popcorn. Yum....



Oh, and Dawno -- I have three teenagers, one of whom is going to dance naked or in a harem costume at school tomorrow, or so she says...

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=332355#post332355

I am a prison guard!

Dawno
09-21-2005, 03:11 AM
I can relate. My oldest just turned 20 (on the 13th of this month) and my youngest is going to be 18 soon. :)

Sarita
09-21-2005, 07:27 AM
(I'm gettin' thirsty...I'm gonna make a Slurpee run to 7-11) Take me! Take me! :hooray:

JennaGlatzer
09-22-2005, 06:33 AM
This is so entertaining that I kind of don't want to tell you...

www.absoluteboards.com (http://www.absoluteboards.com)

Of course, we can just ignore that for a while and continue the adventure.

awatkins
09-22-2005, 07:17 AM
*gasp* Are we there? I mean, are we here? This...this...this place in the woods is IT?????

robeiae
09-22-2005, 07:22 AM
:popcorn:

(Okay, I'm back with a bunch of Slurpees, and a big gulp Dr. Pepper for me!)

*Rob carefully creeps into camp, where everyone is sound asleep...except in one tent where a lit flashlight is visible under an overlarge pair of khakis masquerading as a blanket; the figure with the light seems to be furiously scribbling in a notebook, intermittently cursing and chewing on the end of a pen or pencil. Rob carefully places one Slurpee by each sleeping bag, noting that one is, in fact, empty, then returns to his seat in the theater, hoping to God that the bears in the area do not like Slurpees. A wolf howls from somewhere to the east.*

Rob :)

JennaGlatzer
09-23-2005, 04:35 AM
I'm trying not to scream, honestly.

Absoluteboards.com is (supposedly) hosted by the new hosting company. It's an exact mirror of this forum. But...

IT'S NO FREAKIN' BETTER!

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!

Just as slow, just as filled with errors. I gotta go bug my partner again...

robeiae
09-23-2005, 05:21 AM
I'm trying not to scream, honestly.

Absoluteboards.com is (supposedly) hosted by the new hosting company. It's an exact mirror of this forum. But...

IT'S NO FREAKIN' BETTER!

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!

Just as slow, just as filled with errors. I gotta go bug my partner again...
Actually, it's a little slower...kinda sputters as it loads up goodies (I'm on it now).

Rob :)

Birol
09-23-2005, 07:13 AM
"Hey, c'mon, sleepy heads, time to get up."

Lori walked around rattling tent poles and kicking sleeping bags.

"If we're here, we need to build a more permanent shelter. If we're not, well, grab a granola bar -- yes, Anne, there's chocolate covered chocolate chip granola bars, though I bought those for snacks, not breakfast. Jeez. Don't start the lip thing. You can have one for breakfast if you want it."

As the others grumbled, rubbed their eyes, and pulled on their hiking boots, Lori filled water bottles and tossed them to the sleepy-eyed little curmudgeons along with their backpacks.

"C'mon. You can drink the slushies left by the local Forest Fairy while we're on the trail -- yes, it is kinda creepy that someone crept into the tents in the middle of the night and all they did was leave slushies behind, but I tested mine on a raccoon and they seem to be safe. But we'll never catch up with Mac if you guys just stand there asking questions. Looks like she started without us. We need to catch up with her if we're going to find Sasquatch."

As they started up the trail, Lori noticed Dawno lagging behind. "Don't think you can sneak back and leave without us. I have all the keys and I locked the steering wheels."

awatkins
09-23-2005, 07:26 PM
Chocolate covered chocolate chip granola bars for breakfast! Yay! :Jump:


Note to Dawno--The lip thing always works...

Dawno
09-23-2005, 08:09 PM
Dawno's Travel Journal - Day pppppppppppfffffttttttt!!!



I finished my Pullet Suprize winning article for Weekly World News last night and sat out by the tree with CC's digital camera waiting for Bigfoot to come. I musta fell asleep and missed him. There are signs he was all over the place, lots of bits of popcorn on the ground. I took pictures of the popcorn bits and the place where he spied on us from. It's all in an envelope ready to go. I hope Joanne doesn't mind me using that paper and envelope she had in her backpack. Why she would want to send stuff to a random house is beyond me. I always send my mail to specific houses. I hope CC has another memory stick for his camera, too, cuz I put it in the envelope.

Everyone was running around talking about Slurpees this morning. I hate the darn things and wouldn't drink one on a bet for a million dollars. Those blue ones look like Windex and leave your tongue blue too. Like Smurfs. And Smurfs are evil.

We got our stuff packed up and put away then Lori started acting all Girl Scout leader. We hafta go hiking cuz Mac is off looking for a sack of squash. I don't like squash either. My friend grew a 9 pound zoochinni once and got real excited cuz it had this funny shape and she thought it looked like a Precious Moments baby. So she dressed the thing up in old babydoll clothes and carried it around with her.

Later I heard she had moved and I wondered if she took the precious zoochinni. I'm glad her mom gave me the address to the new place she goes to school cuz now we're penpals. She says she's learned a lot about basket weaving and wallet making there. Me, I have to learn to multiply by 7's and diagramming sentences. Maybe I'll find a squash on this hike that I can dress up and it will get me sent to her school too. They don't make them take hikes in to wild natural places there.

I think this whole nature thing is really great for nature, they grew up here. Me, I wanna get back to my comfy bed and sofa and cable TV.

Birol
09-23-2005, 09:01 PM
Dawno, I hope you're trailing along because you're collecting bugs for tonight's dinner? You are? What a good example you're setting for everyone.

If anyone else wants to pick up bugs for later, remember the fuzzy ones are bad. Go for things like crickets, grasshoppers, and termites. And if you're frustrated you can go ahead and pull of their wings before sticking them in your bug bag.

I've got some identification manuals to help pass the time while we look for Mac and Bigfoot, too. Would you guys rather do plant identification, birds, or animal tracks? Has anyone seen a sign of Mac passing here?

ChunkyC
09-23-2005, 09:20 PM
Unknown to Dawno, she has left the camera on, slung by its strap over her back. With each bounce it takes a picture of the trail behind her. The most recent one is....

Dawno
09-23-2005, 09:36 PM
Dawno, I hope you're trailing along because you're collecting bugs for tonight's dinner? You are? What a good example you're setting for everyone.

What??? I can't even touch PICTURES of bugs. You think I'm gonna collect them and then eat them? The day the Titanic sails into New York Harbor I'll eat a bug. If you thought I was agreeing to touch bugs you were very mistaken.

EWWWWWWWWWW

ChunkyC
09-23-2005, 09:51 PM
Notice how Dawno is still unaware of the meanacing nine-foot viking tiptoeing in her footsteps -- she must have been a cheerleader in a past life. No-one else seems to be aware that they have crossed into Minnesota.

Dawno
09-24-2005, 04:10 AM
::Psst, Hey Viking guy, can I have some more of that buffalo jerky - it's good? Thanks.What did you call that stuff you're drinking? Mead? It's tasty. What does Sven mean? Thanks for providing the great shade, I forgot my sunscreen in the car. You don't know what a car is? That's ok, they put you in them and then drive you out to the woods and make you walk around looking for stuff and eat bugs and go to see the world's largest collection of antique screen door springs. So you guys discovered America first? How come you didn't stick around? Wow, so you hate this nature stuff too? I haven't seen one squash around here yet, do you know where some is? Do you know how to get out of this forest? ::

awatkins
09-24-2005, 04:48 AM
Hay! Dawno's talkin' to a stranger!

robeiae
09-24-2005, 04:53 AM
:popcorn:
(I bet Dawno thinks she's stumbled into a Forest Friends Star Trek Convention and she's talking to a guy dressed up like that guy Pike had to fight in the deserted city in The Managerie)

Rob :)

Dawno
09-24-2005, 04:54 AM
Is not a stranger! His name is SVEN! If he was a stranger I wouldn't know his name!

awatkins
09-24-2005, 05:01 AM
Oh, okay! It's Sven. Whyn't ya say so in the first place? He still looks strange to me.

Saayyyy...(narrowing eyes)....are we in Minnesota??

Birol
09-24-2005, 05:16 AM
Minnesota??? Crimeney. No wonder there's so many lakes around here. Should've known better than to let Macallister navigate.

How ya doin', Sven? Nice to meet you. Any friend of Dawno's, well, is a friend of Dawno's.

Yeshanu
09-24-2005, 05:45 PM
Dawno, I hope you're trailing along because you're collecting bugs for tonight's dinner? You are? What a good example you're setting for everyone.


That's great. I can use the bugs to catch some fish. Mmmm... Crispy fried brook trout.

I've done enough hiking for today. You folks go on ahead. I'll just sit here with my back against this tree and...

Ah, what a great place to be on a lovely fall day.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

awatkins
09-24-2005, 08:55 PM
:popcorn:
(I bet Dawno thinks she's stumbled into a Forest Friends Star Trek Convention and she's talking to a guy dressed up like that guy Pike had to fight in the deserted city in The Managerie)

Rob :)

:eek: There's that creepy voice again! I got the awful feelin' that we're bein' watched, and it ain't by that giant squash. Maybe that Viking guy can be our bodyguard!

robeiae
09-25-2005, 06:36 AM
Man, I really have to pee...
(What is it with these kinds of stories? I mean Sara went to pee two days ago and no one has noticed that she never came back...)

Rob :)

Dawno
09-27-2005, 08:18 AM
To all contributors to this thread:

If I decided to write something along the lines of "Dawno Takes A Road Trip" using the experiences of this thread as my inspirations would any of you have a problem with being characters in the story? I will create different character names but there will be someone with a parrot, a crazy driver, a couple of adults we're driving crazy, visits to the worlds largest etc...a spooky lurking popcorn eating Yeti...who knows, it will have to write itself to some extent, but I've got an itch to give it a try.

Let me know how you feel, the only posts I'll plagerize are my own. :)

Thanks for all the fun, "What a long, strange trip its been" :)

Unique
09-27-2005, 01:23 PM
Who said it was over? heh heh.....

awatkins
09-27-2005, 09:20 PM
Hey, this road trip was fun, so you betcha I want to go on the next one! Take me, Dawno, take me! And my parrot, too! lol (that was my permission, by the way) :Jump:

Are we there yet??

ChunkyC
09-30-2005, 04:51 AM
Just think of my posts as cannon fodder, Dawno.



I have no idea what that means.

I don't mind you using me in your story at all. Do I get the girl at the end? Or am I gonna be the seemingly macho boyfriend who squeals like a pig and wets himself when the viking shows up?

robeiae
09-30-2005, 05:31 AM
Do I get the girl at the end? Or am I gonna be the seemingly macho boyfriend who squeals like a pig and wets himself when the viking shows up?
You should be the guy who realizes what's going on, finds his way back to the car, leaves to get help, then runs off the road to avoid hitting a squirrel, goes off cliff and dies in a fiery explosion (seemingly...).

Rob :)

Dawno
09-30-2005, 05:41 AM
Hmm. Perhaps this needs to be an anthology...

JennaGlatzer
09-30-2005, 12:33 PM
Clearly, this road trip is nowhere near over. As I suspected, absoluteboards.com was actually just sharing the same database as this here board, which meant that every time this board was slow, that "new" one was even slower, every time this one went down, that one went down, etc.

Now look at it. It's freaky. www.absoluteboards.com (http://www.absoluteboards.com).

This could take a while.

MacAllister
09-30-2005, 12:38 PM
errr....where's all our STUFF???

JennaGlatzer
09-30-2005, 12:39 PM
Sven! Quickly! A tap dance! Distract them before they ask questions!

MacAllister
09-30-2005, 12:41 PM
Uh-huh. Next you'll wanna drive.