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View Full Version : Lionel Shriver's thoughts on the Great British public



seun
03-25-2010, 04:35 PM
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/article-23550664-how-did-glamour-model-jordan-become-a-best-selling-author-when-she-doesnt-even-write.do

Interesting article here. Personally, I hope Jordan's boobs explode and take her with them but that's just me.

Rose English
03-27-2010, 06:02 AM
I read the link you posted yesterday. Thought about replying and then this overwhelming feeling of distaste and exasperation that certainly wasn't directed at you came over me.

And that was as far as I got.

gothicangel
03-27-2010, 11:40 AM
For me, I dislike Katie Price's books because they are celebrity obsessed to the point of the author massaging her own ego. As for the writing itself . . . I can only imagine that the ghostwriter is parodying Jordan.

Aren't there enough celebrity gossip columns on the newsagents shelves? Personally, when I pick up a book I want to read about normal people. Celebrity is in our faces everywhere, for me reading about people who aren't glamourous and rich is my escapism.

Jordan/Katie Price is a sad figure. See may have millions but she can't find happiness. To have disfigured her body to the point of charicature I suspect she has some deep psychological problems - and Celebrity is making it worse.

shaldna
03-27-2010, 12:03 PM
I weep for the future of literature.

seun
03-27-2010, 03:30 PM
I read the link you posted yesterday. Thought about replying and then this overwhelming feeling of distaste and exasperation that certainly wasn't directed at you came over me.

And that was as far as I got.

Nice to know it wasn't directed at me. :D

As for Jordan, you could argue she's filling a requirement. After all, her readers are the sort of people who've made her what she is. Or has she made them what they are by giving them completely unrealistic ideas of fame? In any case, bollocks to her and her 'writing'. I'll just bear this quote in mind:

Frankly, too often, literary books distinguish themselves by being dull. Some high-minded writers waffle on about the meaning of the universe at the expense of a good story, and in this sense many a popular author is a better writer than the all-very-artful-but-nothing-ever-happens types who give literature a bad name.

Mr Flibble
03-27-2010, 03:40 PM
YOU MADE ME READ ABOUT FECKING JORDAN!!!!


I hate you, forever.

dpaterso
03-27-2010, 03:44 PM
It's not too difficult to imagine the motormouth yakking nonsense off the top of her head into some kind of voice recording device for a couple of hours a day. Getting her to stop talking is the challenge.

-Derek

SPMiller
03-27-2010, 04:01 PM
So let's not nit-pick. Maybe a few of those same readers also kick back once in a while with junk (and who cares? It doesn't give you brain cancer).We don't know that. Has anyone actually tested it? ;)

And can I just say, whoever this Jordan person is, she doesn't get talked about in the states.

Phaeal
03-27-2010, 04:30 PM
Meh, I think the author of the article is probably right when he posits that Jordan's books aren't stealing sales from, say, Hilary Mantel.

I'm adding a second tenet to my theory of marketing:

1. Success = hitting the right nerve in enough buyers.
2. It's hard to go wrong aiming for the most primitive neurons.

In Jordan's case, the primitive neurons that register large breast size (oogh, her could feed whole TRIBE of babies) seem to be in play. However, cavemen do little reading. So it's probably the more sophisticated complex of neurons servicing vicarious glitz fulfilment that are propeling sales.

That is, I'm guessing her oogle audience is male, while her literary audience is female and maybe camp-lovers of both genders. Or do British males walk around with blatantly pink paperbacks? (American males are allergic to pink, if you believe HGTV.)

seun
03-27-2010, 04:42 PM
And can I just say, whoever this Jordan person is, she doesn't get talked about in the states.

She's the epitome of a celebrity obsessed culture that values worthless fame over achievement or talent. And she's got big tits.

NeuroFizz
03-27-2010, 04:58 PM
And she's got big tits.
The best thing about breasts is who they are attached to (apologies for grammar).

I'm happy to say I had never heard of this Jordan woman. I'm sad to say I now have. I sincerely hope the ghost writer is getting a percentage instead of a "flat" fee.

scarletpeaches
03-27-2010, 05:00 PM
The ghost writer has gone on to publish one of her own novels in the same vein as all this Jordan trash.

I don't think anyone was fooled for one moment that Jordan knows one end of a word processing software suite from the other...but still, I'm 100% against the principle of ghost writers unless they, to raise the spirit of James Patterson in this thread, also get a mention on the cover.

Rebecca Farnworth's name is hidden on the copyright pages of the Jordan books.

seun
03-27-2010, 05:10 PM
The best thing about breasts is who they are attached to (apologies for grammar).

I'm happy to say I had never heard of this Jordan woman.

I imagine there's an American version. Anna Nicole Smith? OK, she's dead but you know what I mean.

SPMiller
03-27-2010, 06:40 PM
Yeah, I see now. We have girls with big tits, too.

Mr Flibble
03-27-2010, 06:45 PM
Do your girls with big tits marry cross dressing cage fighters who've appeared in dodgy pornos though? That's the burning question.

aadams73
03-27-2010, 06:53 PM
Do your girls with big tits marry cross dressing cage fighters who've appeared in dodgy pornos though? That's the burning question.

She should have stuck with Peter Andre. He's about the nicest guy you'll ever come across--and genuinely so.

scarletpeaches
03-27-2010, 06:55 PM
I'd do him.

aadams73
03-27-2010, 07:35 PM
I'd do him.

I am shocked and appalled.

I am also shocked and appalled that Katie/Jordan did not write her own books. She seems so...so...so...thingy.

On the bright side, at least people are buying books. Whether that particular audience can actually read or not is a subject for a very short debate.

On a personal level, I don't give a rat's perky bottom. Just keep buying those books, suckers!

scarletpeaches
03-27-2010, 07:44 PM
I can't believe Jordan's got a style book in the shops right now.

HA! I just used the words 'Jordan' and 'style' in the same sentence!

NeuroFizz
03-27-2010, 09:38 PM
I imagine there's an American version. Anna Nicole Smith? OK, she's dead but you know what I mean.
I live in a small city that is also a beach community. I don't have to look to celebrities to see iterations of this type of thing--where the density of implants greatly exceeds the density of the cerebral cortex. On this side of the Atlantic we even have parents who give their daughters implants for a graduation present--graduation from high school. I expect the next thing will be implants for middle school girls who aren't developing fast enough to be popular with the boys.

Wayne K
03-27-2010, 09:45 PM
:popcorn:

William Haskins
03-27-2010, 10:02 PM
i have a crush on lionel shriver.

not completely on topic, but completely true.

gothicangel
03-27-2010, 11:33 PM
And can I just say, whoever this Jordan person is, she doesn't get talked about in the states.

Don't think for a second she doesn't have an invasion plan all plotted out. :D

Phaeal
03-28-2010, 04:14 PM
Torpedoes incoming! Man your battle stations!

Paul
03-28-2010, 04:24 PM
Em, i hate to say this, but I seen her interviewed not too long ago and she came across quite well, intelligent, articulate, sensitive and perceptive - though she was half drunk/stoned. which is weird. just my two cents...

Momento Mori
03-28-2010, 06:39 PM
I found a book "by" Jordan on the shelves of a house that was being rented for a writing retreat last week and I've got to say, bad though it was (for which read "awful, horrible, laugh out loud crapness) there was something strangely hypnotic about it. So much so that I did find myself returning to it again and again.

Of course, I always needed to shower afterwards to get rid of the feeling of having been defiled, but still. Hypnotic.

Although I'd question any attempt to categorise Jordan as a bestselling author given that she's not authored the books, only applied her brand to them, the fact is that when she does her book signing tours, people who wouldn't ordinarily set foot in a book store come to see her and buy the book.

That, for me, is the first step in getting more people reading and if those people then go on to buy even one more book in the store, then Jordan's success will have helped another author out.

MM

MrWrite
03-28-2010, 09:06 PM
We don't know that. Has anyone actually tested it? ;)

And can I just say, whoever this Jordan person is, she doesn't get talked about in the states.


Let's hope we keep it that way. Believe me that "woman" is annoying!

scarletpeaches
03-29-2010, 12:58 AM
...people who wouldn't ordinarily set foot in a book store come to see her and buy the book.

That, for me, is the first step in getting more people reading and if those people then go on to buy even one more book in the store, then Jordan's success will have helped another author out.

MMPeople who go out of their way to meet Jordan and read ' her' books should stick to crayoning between the lines and no more.