- Joined
- Mar 7, 2010
- Messages
- 104
- Reaction score
- 9
- Location
- USA (Alaska right now)
- Website
- jayjennings.com
I realize this is a long post, but if you're interested in a "different" way to get feedback on what you're writing it may be something you want to look at.
Let me share my results and then give you the "secret sauce" that makes it happen.
Last week I got 50 people to read the first chapter of my story and give me feedback. They were NOT the target audience, they were all adults, but I think what I got back will help me.
I asked them two questions:
First, what age range does this story appear to be for? Here are the answers:
It adds up to more than 100% because people could choose multiple age ranges. Based on those results I'm writing a story that's not going to crossover into adults, but that's fine with me. I'm not writing it for them. =
The second question was, do you think a kid of the selected age range would enjoy the book.
I would have liked to see a higher Yes number, but I didn't get any No's and the Probably+Yes numbers are a nice 86%.
Then I asked for comments if they wanted to leave them. 37 of the 50 people left comments. Some were like this:
There were some like this:
And then there were some along these lines:
Those comments echoed some of what I got in the SYW section.
Okay, and here's the punchline for this...
...while this is all still preliminary and I don't know whether these results will mean anything long-term, it only cost me $5. That five bucks total, not $5 per person. I paid each person a dime to read the chapter and give me feedback.
It took 7 days to get all 50 critiques, but I got the first few within a couple hours, so I had almost immediate feedback. I used a service from Amazon called Mechanical Turk. I've used it *many* times in the past, but for marketing purposes.
The one day I was clicking Refresh over and over in the SYW forum and it hit me that while I might not get feedback from writers at MTurk, I could certainly get feedback from "readers."
I figured for $5 it was worth a try and I think the results are, at the very least, interesting and worth looking at.
That's it, just a quick look (in a loooong post) at something that might help if you're looking for more feedback on your writing.
Jay Jennings
Let me share my results and then give you the "secret sauce" that makes it happen.
Last week I got 50 people to read the first chapter of my story and give me feedback. They were NOT the target audience, they were all adults, but I think what I got back will help me.
I asked them two questions:
First, what age range does this story appear to be for? Here are the answers:
- Younger than 9: 4%
- Ages 9 - 11: 30%
- Ages 12 - 14: 58%
- Ages 15 - 17: 36%
- Older than 17: 6%
It adds up to more than 100% because people could choose multiple age ranges. Based on those results I'm writing a story that's not going to crossover into adults, but that's fine with me. I'm not writing it for them. =
The second question was, do you think a kid of the selected age range would enjoy the book.
- Yes: 26%
- Probably: 60%
- Probably Not: 14%
- No: 0%
I would have liked to see a higher Yes number, but I didn't get any No's and the Probably+Yes numbers are a nice 86%.
Then I asked for comments if they wanted to leave them. 37 of the 50 people left comments. Some were like this:
Disapprove of the story, words like "suck" are misused and turned into slang, felony behavior engaged in, and occultism is encouraged, which would make it perfect for Disney.
There were some like this:
I like it. I sort of wanted to keep going, and I'm 30. Kid brings up a good point. You can just fly. That's it. Not a superpower, but interesting.
-
The opening chapter is interesting enough that I think most kids would want to keep reading to see what happens and how the protagonist became a criminal. The writing is fairly fluid - the opening chapter flows pretty well and is easy to follow. I'm interested enough to want to know how the narrator got into the situation he's in.
And then there were some along these lines:
I thought there were too many asides in parenthesis which were distracting and tried to make the narrator sound too "cool" since the asides were kind of sarcastic. Also, I don't think you need to use language like "sucks" or "dude" just to appeal to kids, it makes the story seem too informal and that you're trying too hard to relate or sound like a teenager. The idea is OK, but I thought the narrative sounded too jokey and sarcastic.
-
While the story was interesting, I found the sidebars, constant asides in parentheses, and occasional comments in bold to be very distracting. Choose one of these tools to make your points, not all three. I know you are writing for kids who are used to quick action but they really don't need this much choppiness for you to keep their attention. Of the three, I felt the sidebars were the most annoying and really didn't add anything to the story. I'd like to see your story flow more smoothly and quickly, and taking away most of your asides would do that.
Those comments echoed some of what I got in the SYW section.
Okay, and here's the punchline for this...
...while this is all still preliminary and I don't know whether these results will mean anything long-term, it only cost me $5. That five bucks total, not $5 per person. I paid each person a dime to read the chapter and give me feedback.
It took 7 days to get all 50 critiques, but I got the first few within a couple hours, so I had almost immediate feedback. I used a service from Amazon called Mechanical Turk. I've used it *many* times in the past, but for marketing purposes.
The one day I was clicking Refresh over and over in the SYW forum and it hit me that while I might not get feedback from writers at MTurk, I could certainly get feedback from "readers."
I figured for $5 it was worth a try and I think the results are, at the very least, interesting and worth looking at.
That's it, just a quick look (in a loooong post) at something that might help if you're looking for more feedback on your writing.
Jay Jennings
