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View Full Version : I just quit one of my jobs and I'm not sure I did the right thing. (graphic warning)



writerterri
03-18-2010, 05:37 AM
This doctor I was cleaning for has started to display weird behavior since I started cleaning his house. At first it was little things that he didn't want to explain to me like how his stereo or washer and dryer worked, he told me to just start pushing buttons. Then when he wanted me to clean his garage he wouldn't help me move the heavy things. He told me to clear the racks of all the stuff, move the racks and put everything back on. I didn't think that was very nice but I put up with it.

After Christmas vacation he told me I was a total disappointment to him because I had missed a cobweb and a peanut on the floor. Well, I was gone for two weeks and those things could have shown up in those weeks. Besides I always do a visual before I leave but it is possible I missed the cobweb not the peanut.

So, then he started using office bathroom sink to dump some sort of thick liquid. He would get it everywhere. I didn't say anything, I just cleaned it up. He does it to the kitchen sink too. Just dumps things in and doesn't rinse anything out or down the drain. He leaves it there for a week then I clean it up. Well, I notice he doesn't watch anything he does anymore. But I just still clean it up and don't complain.

Last week he filled his office toilet with his feces and just left it there for me to see. I gave him the benefit and just flushed it and cleaned the toilet. I was very offended by this. I even felt violated. I just let it go. He couldn't possibly do that on purpose.

Well, last Monday I went to clean his bathroom and there it was again! Packed full of his feces! He was four feet away from his bathroom and had to know I was in there. I cringed! I flushed! And had to flush again to make sure it was all gone. Then I cleaned it while I heard him talk to his dog. He never talks to his dog in his office. I finished the house and said goodbye to him and left. He didn't say a word to me.

I was very creeped out by this. So, today I quit. Do you think I did the right thing? I feel unsure.

jennontheisland
03-18-2010, 05:40 AM
Fucking creepy.

You totally did the right thing.

Chris P
03-18-2010, 05:42 AM
Yeah, you did. He is at best pathologically self-absorbed and could be much much worse.

Despite his mental state, you have the right to decide how much is too much. It sounds like you have fulfilled your job duties, and this would be too much for anyone.

Cella
03-18-2010, 05:49 AM
You made it much further than some.I would not have flushed the poop for him.

Glad you're out of there ;)

firedrake
03-18-2010, 05:51 AM
You absolutely did the right thing.

He sounds like he may have issues.

alleycat
03-18-2010, 05:54 AM
Flush that man right out of your hair . . . uh, so to speak.

;-)

Fenika
03-18-2010, 05:56 AM
You can't work in a situation that is growing increasingly creepy and that definitely was going from odd to creepy fast. If he'd been one of many people you dealt with (in a large hospital, say) then there might have been a better solution, but in this case, don't look back.

poetinahat
03-18-2010, 05:56 AM
What kind of doctor doesn't flush? If that's his take on hygiene, I sure wouldn't let him examine me, much less operate on me!

As a person, he's disgusting. As a doctor, I'd seriously doubt that he's competent.

If all you said was "goodbye", you are a saint, Terri.

CheekyWench
03-18-2010, 05:59 AM
ew.

leahzero
03-18-2010, 06:22 AM
You definitely did the right thing. This guy has serious issues, and was trying to dominate and degrade you with the toilet behavior.

It probably has nothing to do with you--he's just taking out his anger and control issues on an easy target, someone he clearly looks down upon.

Good for you for quitting. I'd also try to warn others in your line of work about this jackass.

Someone who treats his employees like this is not someone I would want in a caring profession like medicine. Is he a practicing physician of some sort, or does he just have his doctorate in an academic field?

leahzero
03-18-2010, 06:24 AM
By the way, as frightening and demeaning as this was, I'd say it's an experience you can use in your writing, once you come to terms with it. (Assuming you write fiction.)

This kind of behavior is something a villain would do. And it would be a kind of fictional comeuppance for this prick.

Snowstorm
03-18-2010, 06:26 AM
I agree with everyone above, writerterri. Looks to me like his weird behavior is escalating. There's no telling what he'd do a week, month, months from now.

aadams73
03-18-2010, 06:26 AM
Your only mistake was not scooping it out with a ladle and placing it in his refrigerator.

benbradley
03-18-2010, 06:41 AM
Not only did you do the right thing, but if there's anyone who says you did NOT do the right thing by quitting, just hit the little red triangle for the post, and a mod will come along and flush them for you.

Have you taken a bath or shower since this event? If so, I'll give you a hug. :)

Silver King
03-18-2010, 06:50 AM
The doctor seems to be getting the short end of the toilet plunger in this discussion. I'm sure his wrists were sore, or something equally plausible, that caused him to be physically (or mentally) incapable of flushing the john until Terri arrived for work and did the deed for him.

What's so bad about that? It's not like he asked her to do it for free, right?

ETA: Wonders which "red triangle" Ben is speaking of and hopes it doesn't pertain to him...

BenPanced
03-18-2010, 07:16 AM
The doctor seems to be getting the short end of the toilet plunger in this discussion. I'm sure his wrists were sore, or something equally plausible, that caused him to be physically (or mentally) incapable of flushing the john until Terri arrived for work and did the deed for him.

What's so bad about that? It's not like he asked her to do it for free, right?

ETA: Wonders which "red triangle" Ben is speaking of and hopes it doesn't pertain to him...
Good Lord, I agree with you, Fishman. I mean, he was in the midst of an important conversation with his DOG, fer cryin' out loud!

Yeshanu
03-18-2010, 09:23 AM
He's dyslexic. It wasn't his dog he was talking to...

:tongue

Terri, I absolutely think you did the right thing. Warning bells started ringing for me in your first paragraph. He's definitely got some kind of issue(s), and the behaviour was clearly escalating. Glad you got out while you could. :Hug2:

Gretad08
03-18-2010, 12:29 PM
Good for you Terri! Not enough time in life to spend any of it dealing with whack jobs :)

lennatallo
03-18-2010, 12:31 PM
yes definitely! methinks it's time to move on...

dpaterso
03-18-2010, 12:57 PM
:Wha: :crazy: This guy needs to seek help.

-Derek

kaitie
03-18-2010, 01:18 PM
Definitely did the right thing. That's just freaky. I'd hate to think of what he'd have started doing next.

Rowan
03-18-2010, 02:15 PM
Oh, that is just gross! And I agree with Leah---great material for a villain character here! :) Quitting was the least you could do. Putting the poo in his refrigerator was another great suggestion. ;) This guy is just beyond creepy.

kayleamay
03-18-2010, 03:05 PM
You did the right thing. No one should ever work for a doctor. I work for about 20 of them. They're all nucking futs. Nucking futs, I tell you.

Mandy-Jane
03-18-2010, 03:41 PM
What kind of doctor doesn't flush? If that's his take on hygiene, I sure wouldn't let him examine me, much less operate on me!

Me too! He definitely has issues, and I'd be staying as far away as possible!

WendyNYC
03-18-2010, 04:37 PM
I agree that he was trying to degrade and humiliate you. Ugh, what a scumbag. Good riddance.

Alpha Echo
03-18-2010, 04:41 PM
Wow. That's sick! I say cheers and good riddance! Good for you. That was not a healthy work environment at all!

WendyNYC
03-18-2010, 04:43 PM
Look on the bright side--you can use this little episode in your writing. Sounds very David Sedaris-y.

shyne
03-18-2010, 04:49 PM
Your only mistake was not scooping it out with a ladle, mixing it with peanuts, and then dumping it un-rinsed in the sink.

fixed

You did the right thing terri

quickWit
03-18-2010, 04:55 PM
I only wish you'd given him a swirlie while giving your notice.

Julie Worth
03-18-2010, 04:59 PM
Forgets to flush, can't explain how to use the washer/dryer, yet focuses on odd items--these are either symptoms of senility, or that he's was trying to get rid of you.

Perks
03-18-2010, 05:10 PM
Yeah, Terri, he's a headcase. Listen to your instincts. You definitely did the right thing. I got creeped out just reading that. I can only imagine how uncomfortable that must have been for you.

Angie
03-18-2010, 05:36 PM
ETA: Wonders which "red triangle" Ben is speaking of and hopes it doesn't pertain to him...

*clicks on SK's red triangle* :tongue


Look on the bright side--you can use this little episode in your writing. Sounds very David Sedaris-y.

Exactly what I was thinking! Sounds like the story Sedaris told about cleaning houses.

You definitely did the right thing. This guy is freaking nuts, and who knows what he would have moved on to when he got tired of the toilet "joke."

aadams73
03-18-2010, 05:52 PM
This thread has inspired my latest avatar. That is all.

shyne
03-18-2010, 05:56 PM
This thread has inspired my latest avatar. That is all.
Ain't that some shyt?

Elaine Margarett
03-18-2010, 05:58 PM
I worked for a doctor (chiropractor) who was a disgusting, sick, F**k. He'd do something similar, taking a crap in the office toliet, not flushing and leaving the bathroom door open so the staff AND patients could smell the stink. He was a body-builder-freakazoid who took all kinds of suppliments that did a number on his digestive track. He would take a dump and them come out with a big smile on his face...so proud!

If the staff ordered a pizza he'd open the box before we could get to it (like if it arrived before the lunch break) and eat all the pepperonis off it.

We had a patient give us a large container of pretzel sticks for christmas...I saw "Dr. Dreadful" come in and take a pretzle stick, bite it in half, return the uneaten stick and take another only to do the same thing. I told one of the other women (who worked there for years) not to eat the pretzles and her reply to me was, "Ew, what he'd do? Stick it up his nose and put it back?" Yeah, she knew the guy...

The really strange and sick thing is the slavish devotion all the other women in the office had for this guy, as well as many of the women patients! He was handsome in a pale, blond, Nazi kind of way and everyone kissed his ass, or wanted to.

For a April Fools joke he called us all into the office and said he'd sold the practice and we were all fired. Everyone got upset or cried. I said, "Good. Saves me the trouble of quitting."

His mother came in at christmas time to see him and give him gifts. She came flying out of his office a few moments later in tears and said to me, "I hope he treats his staff better than his own mother." I said, "No, not likely."

He's been in trouble with the law several times. My brother years ago prosecuted him for selling steriods. He had to pay a big fine and do community service at Kennedy-Kreiger. He's still in business. He just changes the name of his practice and reopens.

I could go on, but you get the picture. Just because someone has an advanced degree doesn't mean they aren't nasty pigs.

Don't give it a second thought, Terri. You done good.

kayleamay
03-18-2010, 06:41 PM
I just want to say that I think this thread is just OUTRAGEOUS! Do you realize that every person that has responded here agreed? I'm pretty sure this is unprecedented. What's next? The bunny will become politically correct? Werri will stop calling me a dork? Mods will start sending smiley face reppies just for the fun of it? Susie will stop eating chocolate? This is disgraceful and I will not stand for it.



There. I fixed it....and you're welcome.

Susie
03-18-2010, 06:41 PM
I'm glad you quit, werri. He sounds a bit like he's losing it. You did the right thing! :Hug2:s No worries, kay. I'd nevah stop eatin' dem chocolit. :D

writerterri
03-18-2010, 08:09 PM
You definitely did the right thing. This guy has serious issues, and was trying to dominate and degrade you with the toilet behavior.

It probably has nothing to do with you--he's just taking out his anger and control issues on an easy target, someone he clearly looks down upon.

Good for you for quitting. I'd also try to warn others in your line of work about this jackass.

Someone who treats his employees like this is not someone I would want in a caring profession like medicine. Is he a practicing physician of some sort, or does he just have his doctorate in an academic field?

You described it perfectly. Dominate and degrade me. He's been doing that little by little since I started working for him.

He's a chiropractor. The quote below describes him almost perfectly.


I worked for a doctor (chiropractor) who was a disgusting, sick, F**k. He'd do something similar, taking a crap in the office toliet, not flushing and leaving the bathroom door open so the staff AND patients could smell the stink. He was a body-builder-freakazoid who took all kinds of suppliments that did a number on his digestive track. He would take a dump and them come out with a big smile on his face...so proud!




Gosh, I'm wondering if we're talking about the same person.



I'm overwhelmed by the support. I was having anxiety all night. I tend to act like a deer in headlights when confronted with the weird and bizarre. Now I know. I will recognize it right away and I won't put up with it.

Who knows what would have been right around the corner? What if he started having sexual fantasies about the crap he was doing. All I do know for sure is that it was getting worse. I didn't want to stick around for what was worse than a toilet full of feces.

I sent him an email saying that due to circumstances out of my control I wasn't going to work for him anymore. I'll see what he says if he has the guts to reply, which he might because he pays me a month in advance. I think services were rendered. $50.00 a flush. :D And let him find someone as good a keeper as me. I do laundry, cooking, dishes, the fridge and trash. He'll have to do it himself now. All the cleaners around here only do surface cleaning. And I did all that for 50.00 a week. Cause I was only there for 3 and a half hours. I think he hated that, because at first I was there 5 hours a day until I fully organized his house. Then, when I took control of the cleaning and changed his rates and the hours I worked, the weird things started happening. Also I noticed that every time I laid down what I was doing for him he would turn everything around like he was the one in charge of what I just said.

Okay, now I see what a coocoo he is. I'm glad I'm out! I'll deal with the financial details later. Craig's List is only a listing away. (they owe me one for that)

I feel empowered!

Thank you all so much for your support!

Dorks.

tjwriter
03-18-2010, 08:19 PM
Good move! Stay away from batshit crazy folks.

All those years working with the very odd public were put to good use for me. I would have called him out on his behavior. See if he needed to wear Depends because he didn't seem capable of wearing his big boy underwear and cleaning after himself.

But then, I am used to insane behavior and my personality doesn't lend to putting up with it.

Good for walking away and good luck finding something to replace this lost income.

writerterri
03-18-2010, 08:20 PM
I only wish you'd given him a swirlie while giving your notice.

I think just sending him an email not explaining why I quit is swirling in his mind. He's probably thinking of ways he could dominate that. I'm nervous now.

writerterri
03-18-2010, 08:22 PM
Good move! Stay away from batshit crazy folks.

All those years working with the very odd public were put to good use for me. I would have called him out on his behavior. See if he needed to wear Depends because he didn't seem capable of wearing his big boy underwear and cleaning after himself.

But then, I am used to insane behavior and my personality doesn't lend to putting up with it.

Good for walking away and good luck finding something to replace this lost income.

He wears no Underoos. The pig.

tjwriter
03-18-2010, 08:22 PM
He might ask for refund, but he can't force you to come back to work. Don't sweat his issues, terri. It's not good for you.

Elaine Margarett
03-18-2010, 08:36 PM
>>>...He's a chiropractor. The quote below describes him almost perfectly...<<<


Ahh...another demented Chiropractor...


Here's another story... His office manager who had breast cancer (I don't know what stage she was, but she was very ill) had a major crush/adoration problem with the guy. Her son was getting married and Dr. A**Hole was invited, of course, AND was supposed to escort the office manager down the aisle and be her escort. She was sooo excited to think he'd be on her arm and in the family pics. She'd worked for him for years and he was really important to her. The wedding was on New Years Eve and the arrangements were made over a year in advance. Two days before the event he goes skiing and blows her off.

A real class act.

Elaine Margarett
03-18-2010, 08:47 PM
Screw him and his refund.

If he asks, tell him in an email that he created a hostile work environment forcing you to quit. He's lucky you don't make a formal complaint and sue him.

writerterri
03-18-2010, 09:14 PM
Screw him and his refund.

If he asks, tell him in an email that he created a hostile work environment forcing you to quit. He's lucky you don't make a formal complaint and sue him.

I will be prepared and armed with those words. I hope he's smart enough to know if he wants to stand in front of a judge, all the court will have to hear how he filled up his toilet two weeks in a row.

What the heck was he thinking? I find it shallow that he was so caught up in his way of thinking that he thought he would get away with that twice! He's not that smart of a game player if you ask me. I can write stuff more cunning than that.

Idiot!

And your old boss! Whoa, just whoa.

Aji
03-18-2010, 10:03 PM
You did the right thing quitting. Ew, I'm so creeped out from just reading your post - I'm glad I'm not a patient of his!

If he wants a refund, I agree with others saying give it back and wipe your hands clean of the whole matter.

CheekyWench
03-18-2010, 10:03 PM
I'd be hard pressed not to block any incoming email from him. (or change your phone number, your name and move to another country.) Evil minded crazy folk skeer me.

writerterri
03-18-2010, 10:07 PM
I'd be hard pressed not to block any incoming email from him. (or change your phone number, your name and move to another country.) Evil minded crazy folk skeer me.


You and me both!

BenPanced
03-18-2010, 10:14 PM
It doesn't sound like senility, to me. If it were, there'd be more...surprises than what you'd found. I think you're safer for having quit.

writerterri
03-18-2010, 10:27 PM
Me too. I'm getting more and more relieved that I'm not going back. My mind keeps going back to what could be worse than the toilet incident. I just don't want to be his victim anymore much less give him more opportunity.

I will give him his money back if he insists. Otherwise I'll just leave it alone. I still haven't checked my emails yet. I probably won't for a few days. I'm just not ready.

Susie
03-18-2010, 11:25 PM
I'm so glad you feel good about it, werri. You'll get a better job I'm betting, and things will work out aok. No one needs to work for anyone who is so demeaning, especially you! :Hug2:s

Elaine Margarett
03-18-2010, 11:32 PM
We should have a "Worse Job/Worse Boss" thread.

Then I could tell you all about the paranoid, self-rightous School Photographer I worked for who didn't have kids and hated them...called them 'stinkin' animals', which, sometimes they were... but that's beside the point.

He used to make fun of them to their face if they didn't "smile right". LOL Really set the mood for all the others who were waiting their turn.

And then there was the closet nazi/transvestite who had a picture of himself dressed in an SS uniform hanging in his living room.

But I'll save that for another time.

Yeshanu
03-19-2010, 12:46 AM
And let him find someone as good a keeper as me. I do laundry, cooking, dishes, the fridge and trash. He'll have to do it himself now. All the cleaners around here only do surface cleaning. And I did all that for 50.00 a week. Cause I was only there for 3 and a half hours. I think he hated that, because at first I was there 5 hours a day until I fully organized his house.

If you're anywhere near me, I'll PM my address. :tongue Can't pay weekly, but at this point I'd gladly pay $50 for a one-off cleaning of the house. Stupid git! He doesn't know when he's got a gold-standard cleaner working for him. :Hug2:

writerterri
03-19-2010, 01:02 AM
If you're anywhere near me, I'll PM my address. :tongue Can't pay weekly, but at this point I'd gladly pay $50 for a one-off cleaning of the house. Stupid git! He doesn't know when he's got a gold-standard cleaner working for him. :Hug2:


I know, right? You should have seen his house when I first got there. It had more dust and cob webs than The Adams Family home. It was incredible! He lives over a lake and when the mosquitoes hatch they get everywhere and the spiders have a feast. It took me weeks on end to organize his house and garage. And he's too cheap to have his property sprayed.

Oh, and I even change his bed sheets.

He had a deal didn't he? Well, he blew it and he's going to feel it.


He called me. I wouldn't answer but he left a message. I haven't listened to it yet. I can't. I feel so violated. I'll wait until I have the nerve back or let my husband listen to it. He probably just wants his money back. Or wondering why I left when we hit it off so well.

tjwriter
03-19-2010, 01:46 AM
I'm curious as to what he said.

Maybe I'm just too nosy.

I'm thinking you listen to his message and the call him back to tell him to get f&^ked.

writerterri
03-19-2010, 01:49 AM
*giggle* When I get back...

Mandy-Jane
03-19-2010, 01:59 AM
Oh, and I even change his bed sheets.

I don't even wanna' think about what might be on his bed sheets!

Cassiopeia
03-19-2010, 02:26 AM
I don't know but to me it sounds like he's got some sort of mental disorder. Is this man really old? Is he an alcoholic, a drug addict? You'd be surprised how many working professionals are and that includes doctors.

12 years ago I went out with a doctor, okay not just any doctor, MY doctor. (don't ask how I came to go out with him.) Anyway, I thought it odd that after taking me for a drive though the mountains in his Porsche he wanted to drop me off at home and have me come pick him up in my Z3 and go to dinner that was sponsored by a pharmaceutical company.

Well! He got plastered at that dinner. When we went out to eat another time, he actually took some pills with his meal and I asked if he was ill and he said, no..just uppers. I got invited to his housewarming party and I've never seen anything like it between the drugs and the alcohol. I never went out with him again.

There are a lot of reasons this doctor could have that sort of behaviour but it sounds like a sort of dementia or drug addiction to me.

ETA: There is however, a case study in my Interpersonal Communications studies this term that points to the behaviour of professionals towards those in the service industry. He could very well be what is referred to as a vulture. They take great pleasure in mistreating those they consider subordinate and it bolsters their sense of self importance.

As to whether you were justified in quitting, Of course you are. Never ever go against your gut instincts, sweetie. We have them for a reason and when we ignore the warning signs, the outcome rarely is one in our favor.

If he wants a refund, tell him you want hazard pay for having to handle the toxic waste that was not described in the job description. :D

Rose English
03-19-2010, 02:37 AM
You might like to read Nancy Peacock's A Broom of One's Own - Words on Writing, Housecleaning and Life.

Same thing happened to her. And whilst I'm sorry that it happened to you (both) it makes for very engaging reading.

I'm glad you quit. He has issues and you weren't getting paid enough to deal with those.

writerterri
03-19-2010, 03:58 AM
I don't know but to me it sounds like he's got some sort of mental disorder. Is this man really old? Is he an alcoholic, a drug addict? You'd be surprised how many working professionals are and that includes doctors.

12 years ago I went out with a doctor, okay not just any doctor, MY doctor. (don't ask how I came to go out with him.) Anyway, I thought it odd that after taking me for a drive though the mountains in his Porsche he wanted to drop me off at home and have me come pick him up in my Z3 and go to dinner that was sponsored by a pharmaceutical company.

Well! He got plastered at that dinner. When we went out to eat another time, he actually took some pills with his meal and I asked if he was ill and he said, no..just uppers. I got invited to his housewarming party and I've never seen anything like it between the drugs and the alcohol. I never went out with him again.

There are a lot of reasons this doctor could have that sort of behaviour but it sounds like a sort of dementia or drug addiction to me.

ETA: There is however, a case study in my Interpersonal Communications studies this term that points to the behaviour of professionals towards those in the service industry. He could very well be what is referred to as a vulture. They take great pleasure in mistreating those they consider subordinate and it bolsters their sense of self importance.

As to whether you were justified in quitting, Of course you are. Never ever go against your gut instincts, sweetie. We have them for a reason and when we ignore the warning signs, the outcome rarely is one in our favor.

If he wants a refund, tell him you want hazard pay for having to handle the toxic waste that was not described in the job description. :D

He's an alcoholic. And he has been mistreating me since my first week there. It started out subtle and has lead up to this. You have permission to share my story in class if it permits. Or you could use me as a case study.



So, I listened to his message:

Hi Terri, sorry to hear that something has happened in your life to have to quit this job i know that you told me that you like it.

Anyway, you do owe me some money.

It's kind of an abrupt way to quit and it's not very nice. I wish you would have been a little more communicative than can't see you anymore. So, please respect me enough to communicate.

Then he gives his phone numbers.


I'm going to let him stew a few more hours. Let him get nice and soaked in his drink. Then my husband is going to write him an email.

:rant:

I'm not very nice!

Please respect him!

writerterri
03-19-2010, 03:59 AM
You might like to read Nancy Peacock's A Broom of One's Own - Words on Writing, Housecleaning and Life.

Same thing happened to her. And whilst I'm sorry that it happened to you (both) it makes for very engaging reading.

I'm glad you quit. He has issues and you weren't getting paid enough to deal with those.

I had no idea! I'll check that out.

Thanks!

I can't believe it happened to someone else.

benbradley
03-19-2010, 05:01 AM
He's an alcoholic.
And he's a doctor... uh huh.


Anyway, you do owe me some money.
If you or your husband respond, tell him to take you to small claims court. That could be interesting if you want to go through the drama ... however, he could end up with other things on his mind ...


I'm going to let him stew a few more hours. Let him get nice and soaked in his drink. Then my husband is going to write him an email.

:rant:

I'm not very nice!

Please respect him!
I'm about to suggest something that I think is REALLY MEAN, something (due to my experience and other things I've seen and read about) I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but still ... here it is:

Report him (as an alcoholic) to the medical licensing board in your state. He'll have a much bigger problem than "what you owe him."

ETA: A chiropractor might have some different licensing board, but I'm sure he still has to be licensed to practice as a chiropractor.

Snowstorm
03-19-2010, 05:05 AM
Ooh, small claims court! You should simply tell him the truth as to why you quit (nasty details and all). If he pursues small claims court, you'll have to tell the truth--in open court--exactly why you quit.

CheekyWench
03-19-2010, 05:27 AM
I wouldn't call or write. I'd just mail him a certified check he has to sign for and leave it at that.
Don't. Poke. Crazy!

bettielee
03-19-2010, 05:29 AM
I'm with everyone else on this. That man's cheese has definitely fallen off his cracker.

Congrats on getting out before it hit you in the face! Or you had to flush it....

backslashbaby
03-19-2010, 05:34 AM
I wouldn't call or write. I'd just mail him a certified check he has to sign for and leave it at that.
Don't. Poke. Crazy!

QFT. Don't. Poke. Crazy!!!

If you'd give the $$ back to a normal person, dear Lord give it back to a crazy one!

William Haskins
03-19-2010, 05:36 AM
absolutely the right thing.

writerterri
03-19-2010, 05:38 AM
And he's a doctor... uh huh.


If you or your husband respond, tell him to take you to small claims court. That could be interesting if you want to go through the drama ... however, he could end up with other things on his mind ...


I'm about to suggest something that I think is REALLY MEAN, something (due to my experience and other things I've seen and read about) I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but still ... here it is:

Report him (as an alcoholic) to the medical licensing board in your state. He'll have a much bigger problem than "what you owe him."

ETA: A chiropractor might have some different licensing board, but I'm sure he still has to be licensed to practice as a chiropractor.

He's lost his business and is now a public speaker on how other Chiro's can keep their business going in these tough times. So his hands aren't touching people at the moment. I do know he has a problem with the drink as I came in one morning and he was still drunk from the night before. I don't want to get in trouble for slander if I couldn't prove it.

But the small claims court thing, I dare him. You're right, would he like me to stand in court and tell everybody how he's treated me. As far as I'm concerned he has created a hostile atmosphere for me to work in and I'm afraid of what bizarre thing he's going to do next and has forced me to quit my job.

benbradley
03-19-2010, 05:53 AM
He's lost his business and is now a public speaker on how other Chiro's can keep their business going in these tough times. So his hands aren't touching people at the moment. I do know he has a problem with the drink as I came in one morning and he was still drunk from the night before. I don't want to get in trouble for slander if I couldn't prove it.
It's a shame he's not practicing (I mean, as a chiropractic or something he needs a state license for - from your description, he IS a practicing drunk). But if he were, I don't think you'd even have to give your name. If you told the licensing board your concerns, I'm pretty sure they would investigate without saying who tipped them off.

Matera the Mad
03-19-2010, 07:01 AM
UGH

I guess I'm lucky, there is a decent chiropractor in this burg. My neck, shoulders, and back will vouch for him. But I don't trust docs in general.

Death Wizard
03-19-2010, 07:08 AM
Somebody needs to beat the crap out of this guy, literally.

Angie
03-19-2010, 07:12 AM
Somebody needs to beat the crap out of this guy, literally.

Just so long as werri doesn't have to flush it afterward...

Death Wizard
03-19-2010, 07:15 AM
Just so long as werri doesn't have to flush it afterward...

I know I'm late coming on this, but that's a cool avatar!

CatSlave
03-19-2010, 07:24 AM
Screw him and his refund.

If he asks, tell him in an email that he created a hostile work environment forcing you to quit. He's lucky you don't make a formal complaint and sue him.

Make a formal complaint to the medical board and sue him.
At least talk to an attorney about your options; most will give you a free consult to see if you have a case.

The guy's a freak. Who knows what he's doing to other people?

benbradley
03-19-2010, 08:10 AM
Make a formal complaint to the medical board and sue him.
Even if he's not working as a chiropractic now, it sounds like it's because practice went out of business and he still might have his license. The medical board might want to hear about all this.

At least talk to an attorney about your options; most will give you a free consult to see if you have a case.

The guy's a freak. Who knows what he's doing to other people?

writerterri
03-19-2010, 08:24 AM
And he's a doctor... uh huh.


If you or your husband respond, tell him to take you to small claims court. That could be interesting if you want to go through the drama ... however, he could end up with other things on his mind ...




like what?

writerterri
03-19-2010, 09:49 AM
This is what I'm sending out tomorrow.

<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTERRI&%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_fi lelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> My wife came to me on Monday after she left your house and was offended that you had filled your guest bathroom toilet with feces and left it there. I wasnít too concerned until she told me you had done it the week before as well. Terri revealed to me that she felt personally violated by this act and we have come to the conclusion that her work environment is no longer suitable and she is forced to quit her job with you as she feels the trust has been broken and is in fear of future visits at your home on White Wake in the Canyon Lakes. She also mentioned that she talked to you before she left on the 15<sup>th</sup> wanting to talk about it but as she kept thinking about the incident it became evident that the act was inappropriate and no longer felt comfortable bringing it up.
<o:p> </o:p>
I, as her husband, feel extremely uncomfortable with letting her go to your house to clean any further and from a personal and business perspective this is not acceptable behavior that I am willing to put up with. She resigns as of 3/15/10. Services rendered. My wife has gone over the top for you as far as cleaning services go [for $50.00 a week] and going to the store for you on many occasions without any compensation.
<o:p> </o:p>
Please donít contact my wife any further on her cell phone as she is very uncomfortable with you.
<o:p> </o:p>
Thank you,

bettielee
03-19-2010, 10:14 AM
Yeah! You tell him!

Cassiopeia
03-19-2010, 10:38 AM
Report him (as an alcoholic) to the medical licensing board in your state. He'll have a much bigger problem than "what you owe him."

I don't agree. I would not report him to any licensing board unless you have concrete proof he's met the five criteria for suspected abuse of alcohol on the job. It's really not a good idea to expose yourself to a potential lawsuit.

brainstorm77
03-19-2010, 01:11 PM
This doctor I was cleaning for has started to display weird behavior since I started cleaning his house. At first it was little things that he didn't want to explain to me like how his stereo or washer and dryer worked, he told me to just start pushing buttons. Then when he wanted me to clean his garage he wouldn't help me move the heavy things. He told me to clear the racks of all the stuff, move the racks and put everything back on. I didn't think that was very nice but I put up with it.

After Christmas vacation he told me I was a total disappointment to him because I had missed a cobweb and a peanut on the floor. Well, I was gone for two weeks and those things could have shown up in those weeks. Besides I always do a visual before I leave but it is possible I missed the cobweb not the peanut.

So, then he started using office bathroom sink to dump some sort of thick liquid. He would get it everywhere. I didn't say anything, I just cleaned it up. He does it to the kitchen sink too. Just dumps things in and doesn't rinse anything out or down the drain. He leaves it there for a week then I clean it up. Well, I notice he doesn't watch anything he does anymore. But I just still clean it up and don't complain.

Last week he filled his office toilet with his feces and just left it there for me to see. I gave him the benefit and just flushed it and cleaned the toilet. I was very offended by this. I even felt violated. I just let it go. He couldn't possibly do that on purpose.

Well, last Monday I went to clean his bathroom and there it was again! Packed full of his feces! He was four feet away from his bathroom and had to know I was in there. I cringed! I flushed! And had to flush again to make sure it was all gone. Then I cleaned it while I heard him talk to his dog. He never talks to his dog in his office. I finished the house and said goodbye to him and left. He didn't say a word to me.

I was very creeped out by this. So, today I quit. Do you think I did the right thing? I feel unsure.

If you were no longer comfortable with the job, then yes you did do the right thing. I would have done the same as you. Re the crap in the toilet, I would have left it. If he asked I would have said, yeah we don't clean anything with human waste on or in it.

Bartholomew
03-19-2010, 03:08 PM
I'm confused. Why would you owe him the money he paid you?


He's an alcoholic. And he has been mistreating me since my first week there. It started out subtle and has lead up to this. You have permission to share my story in class if it permits. Or you could use me as a case study.



So, I listened to his message:

Hi Terri, sorry to hear that something has happened in your life to have to quit this job i know that you told me that you like it.

Anyway, you do owe me some money.

It's kind of an abrupt way to quit and it's not very nice. I wish you would have been a little more communicative than can't see you anymore. So, please respect me enough to communicate.

Then he gives his phone numbers.


I'm going to let him stew a few more hours. Let him get nice and soaked in his drink. Then my husband is going to write him an email.

:rant:

I'm not very nice!

Please respect him!

kayleamay
03-19-2010, 05:46 PM
This is just my 2 pesos worth, but if I were you, I wouldn't send him anything, especially if you think he might be unstable. (It kind of sounds like he is.) No letter. No check. Nothing. It seems like at best he would take it as validation and at worst as provocation. If he persists, then have your hubby give him one of those nice, "Look buddy, you contact my wife again and I'll either deal with you myself or call the police. You'd prefer the police," talks. He sounds like a bully. Don't give him the satisfaction of a response.

Again, just my 2 pesos. I'm no expert. Just do what's right for you.

Yeshanu
03-19-2010, 07:14 PM
The email seems fine to me, Terri.

A couple of comments:

1) I know it sounds like fun, but don't tell him to take you to small claims court. The court MIGHT decide in your favor, or it might decide in his. If it goes his way (and remember, he has the money for a lawyer), you'd owe not only what he paid you, but also his lawyer's fees, and possibly other expenses as well.

That doesn't mean I think you should give him a refund. Just don't put the idea of small claims court into his head.

In order to head off a small claims court headache (and to give you ammunition if he does decide to go that route), take a close look at the contract for cleaning he signed. (You DID have a contract, didn't you?)

If you've rendered services (like making beds, going to the store, flushing shit down the toilet) that weren't in your original contract, make up an official bill, and have the cost of those services be exactly equal to what he owes you. Convert to PDF format, and email. The fact that he didn't know the cost of those services before he asked for them is no defense--they were requested, they were outside the specs of the contract, and you complied.

ETA: If the contract was only verbal, think carefully about what you promised to do for your pay, and bill for what you didn't agree to. And write up a contract for future clients!

2) Ignoring the behavior won't make it better, if he's really psycho. Having your husband respond via email, and using that as the contact point is a good compromise. Save all correspondence. If he becomes threatening, or harrassing, report him to the police.

I agree that you shouldn't report him to his governing body unless you've got absolute proof that he was intoxicated while working. But a complaint to the police about harrassment or abuse will serve just as well, if it happens...

So sorry you have to deal with this creep, Dork. :Hug2:

Rose English
03-19-2010, 10:25 PM
This is just my 2 pesos worth, but if I were you, I wouldn't send him anything, especially if you think he might be unstable. (It kind of sounds like he is.) No letter. No check. Nothing. It seems like at best he would take it as validation and at worst as provocation. If he persists, then have your hubby give him one of those nice, "Look buddy, you contact my wife again and I'll either deal with you myself or call the police. You'd prefer the police," talks. He sounds like a bully. Don't give him the satisfaction of a response.

Again, just my 2 pesos. I'm no expert. Just do what's right for you.

Gets my vote too. Put him far behind you.

benbradley
03-19-2010, 11:22 PM
I don't agree. I would not report him to any licensing board unless you have concrete proof he's met the five criteria for suspected abuse of alcohol on the job. It's really not a good idea to expose yourself to a potential lawsuit.
One can be sued (yeah, anyone can be sued for anything, but the question is whether they've got a reasonable case, a reasonable chance to win) for calling a medical licensing board and saying you suspect a licensed doctor has a drinking problem?

I or writerterri is just a layperson, concerned about public safety. Wouldn't the licensing board have a doctor evaluated by professionals in substance abuse evaluation to determine whether he meets those "five criteria for suspected abuse of alcohol on the job?" I'd think any licensing board would keep any report "in confidence" until and unless they take any action concerning a doctor's license, and even then, would they release the name of someone reporting the concern?

It looks like you're coming from your HR perspective. What are those five criteria for suspected abuse of alcohol on the job? A quick google found many relevant eval pages, but nothing on specificaly "five criteria."

And if the doctor IS dermined to have alcohol problems (and I'll bet an eval would agree with writerterri's judgment), would such a doctor have a reasonable case against someone because they CORRECTLY reported a suspected drinking problem to the licensing board?

The one lawsuit I've heard of in this area involves the doctor suing the treatment center, not someone who reported him:
http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/1999/05/25/met_262202.shtml
I can link to more stories on this case.

CheekyWench
03-19-2010, 11:27 PM
This is just my 2 pesos worth, but if I were you, I wouldn't send him anything, especially if you think he might be unstable. (It kind of sounds like he is.) No letter. No check. Nothing. It seems like at best he would take it as validation and at worst as provocation. If he persists, then have your hubby give him one of those nice, "Look buddy, you contact my wife again and I'll either deal with you myself or call the police. You'd prefer the police," talks. He sounds like a bully. Don't give him the satisfaction of a response.

Again, just my 2 pesos. I'm no expert. Just do what's right for you.

... or a cease and desist letter from a lawyer.

benbradley
03-19-2010, 11:43 PM
The email seems fine to me, Terri.

A couple of comments:

1) I know it sounds like fun, but don't tell him to take you to small claims court. The court MIGHT decide in your favor, or it might decide in his. If it goes his way (and remember, he has the money for a lawyer), you'd owe not only what he paid you, but also his lawyer's fees, and possibly other expenses as well.

That doesn't mean I think you should give him a refund. Just don't put the idea of small claims court into his head.
I agree, and I take back my previous advice.

In order to head off a small claims court headache (and to give you ammunition if he does decide to go that route), take a close look at the contract for cleaning he signed. (You DID have a contract, didn't you?)

If you've rendered services (like making beds, going to the store, flushing shit down the toilet) that weren't in your original contract, make up an official bill, and have the cost of those services be exactly equal to what he owes you. Convert to PDF format, and email. The fact that he didn't know the cost of those services before he asked for them is no defense--they were requested, they were outside the specs of the contract, and you complied.

ETA: If the contract was only verbal, think carefully about what you promised to do for your pay, and bill for what you didn't agree to. And write up a contract for future clients!
I'm thinking contract or not, it would be a good investment to find a lawyer with experience in employment and tell him everything so far. It might cost around $100-$200 for a lawyer's time, but would let you know exactly where you stand, and buy peace of mind.

Cassiopeia
03-20-2010, 12:26 AM
One can be sued (yeah, anyone can be sued for anything, but the question is whether they've got a reasonable case, a reasonable chance to win) for calling a medical licensing board and saying you suspect a licensed doctor has a drinking problem?

I or writerterri is just a layperson, concerned about public safety. Wouldn't the licensing board have a doctor evaluated by professionals in substance abuse evaluation to determine whether he meets those "five criteria for suspected abuse of alcohol on the job?" I'd think any licensing board would keep any report "in confidence" until and unless they take any action concerning a doctor's license, and even then, would they release the name of someone reporting the concern?

It looks like you're coming from your HR perspective. What are those five criteria for suspected abuse of alcohol on the job? A quick google found many relevant eval pages, but nothing on specificaly "five criteria."

And if the doctor IS dermined to have alcohol problems (and I'll bet an eval would agree with writerterri's judgment), would such a doctor have a reasonable case against someone because they CORRECTLY reported a suspected drinking problem to the licensing board?

The one lawsuit I've heard of in this area involves the doctor suing the treatment center, not someone who reported him:
http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/1999/05/25/met_262202.shtml
I can link to more stories on this case.Here's the problem as I see it, a chiropractor is not a medical doctor. And anyone who wants to prove a service provider was under the influence would have to have more than, "I smelled alcohol on his breath" for cause.

Yes it's an HR and OSHA perspective which focuses on the law. Businesses use criteria for determining if one can even approach an individual under suspicion because you can and will get the pants sued off you if you're not doing your homework.

1. Is there actual alcohol on the person.
2. Is there the smell of alcohol surrounding the person (this can be in the form of sweat as in construction, heavy drinkers sweat smells like what the booze they consume and yes they can exhale it)
3. Are they acting in a reckless manner and can it be reasonably assumed they are under the influence of alcohol.
4. There are five physical signs you would look for. Is their capacity diminished, are their eyes glassy, slurred speech, stumbling, diminished awareness of their surroundings and are they incoherent.
5. Did they admit to having a hang over or drinking late into the previous night.

It's interesting the number of people who think they can stop drinking at 2 am and still show up for work at 8 am and not be considered under the influence. Just because they slept for a bit doesn't mean they're sober.

But back to this Chiropractor. It will be hard to prove he's under the influence. Particularly since she no longer works there. What's also difficult is his saying she now owes him money. It comes down to her word against his and who can make the most plausible argument for their case.

Because she's in the service industry and he's a professional and licensed chiropractor, and is lecturing in the industry, his reputation is at stake and the governing board, while concerned they maintain standards will vigilantly seek to protect his reputation. An allegation like that could ruin his future.

And while I completely sympathize with writerterri for quitting, I can't in good conscience say I agree with filing a complaint like that. He's no longer working with patients, he's a lecturer. She was not a patient of his and while he subjected her to a disgusting habit and mistreated her, even in the EEOC courts, there's nothing she can do about it.

Proving any sort of damage to herself would be extremely costly and I can almost guarantee she will have wasted her money in pursuing it.

To say she feels violated in the courts perspective would be rather ambiguous as it wasn't a sexual assault. One could argue, he's just a pig and didn't "do it to her" but rather she was subsequently impacted by his habits to which the court would say, then quit.

Which she's done.

I agree with the idea of not mentioning the small claims court and creating a bill for the extra services rendered not mentioned in the contract IF there was indeed one. I also advise that writerterri be very specific about his disgusting habits to him. He is right about one thing. She should have told him as she was working that she wouldn't put up with it.

I know I would have but then again, it always depends on our circumstances. I've cleaned toilets at college and we had to clean up a lot worse than just a toilet full of shit. Sometimes people would deliberately flood the bathroom by not only defecating a bunch but adding so much toilet paper it flooded the floor. I've seen crap smeared on walls and I've had to clean up puke and all kinds of things.

I didn't quit the job. It was my job and it put food on my table. We do what we gotta do.

Two nights ago I took a temp job at a dealership here to answer phones. The woman I took over for was extremely unkept. Her chair was so disgusting that I came home and had to shower and wash my clothing. Her greasy hair and unwashed person left the sent of filth and butt on the chair and I swear I still smell it today.

But I did it anyway. A job's a job.

Elaine Margarett
03-20-2010, 12:49 AM
Now, I'm no lawyer but I don't believe legal fees are compensated in small claims court. The purpose of small claims is to avoid running up extensive fees to settle a relatively minor dispute. That's why there is a cap on how much you can sue for. So I don't think the creep, I mean chiropractor, could receive anything but court costs (a small fee) and the fifty dollars Terri owes him for sevices she was unable to complete becasue of his foul behavior.

I think it's important to send an email as it is, 1) notice to the dr. of the real reason teri quit, 2) it's evidence of *what* she told him and can be brought out in court if he decides to sue.

EM,
who watches way too much court TV.

BTW ~ Hubby and daughter go to a chiropractor and it's been very beneficial.

Yeshanu
03-20-2010, 04:31 AM
I agree with the idea of not mentioning the small claims court and creating a bill for the extra services rendered not mentioned in the contract IF there was indeed one. I also advise that writerterri be very specific about his disgusting habits to him. He is right about one thing. She should have told him as she was working that she wouldn't put up with it.

I know I would have but then again, it always depends on our circumstances. I've cleaned toilets at college and we had to clean up a lot worse than just a toilet full of shit. Sometimes people would deliberately flood the bathroom by not only defecating a bunch but adding so much toilet paper it flooded the floor. I've seen crap smeared on walls and I've had to clean up puke and all kinds of things.

I didn't quit the job. It was my job and it put food on my table. We do what we gotta do.


The problem sometimes with telling people "in the moment" is that if the behavior is not just meant to disgust, but to dominate, then telling the person it's disgusting will have the opposite effect than the intended one, and if the guy's truly a psych case, may even threaten her safety.

Telling him from a distance was, IMO, the right decision in this case. There's also a difference between cleaning public restrooms and cleaning a person's home washroom, as we can't control who goes into a public washroom. It's also different because the behavior is not usually directed at a particular individual, but at the institution or even society in general. That being said, as someone who occasionally cleans a public restroom as part of my job, if I catch anyone smearing feces or in other ways deliberately creating an unhealthy environment for my workers or guests, that person is given notice of tresspass and escorted from the premises.

And if I ever go into a temp job and am given a chair as filthy as the one you describe, Cassiopia, I'd be asking for another chair. There are some things that no decent person should put up with, and that's sitting in the filth left by another adult human being. :Hug2: Hope you don't have to do it for long...

Elaine Margarett brings up another salient point, about being unable to complete the duties because of his behavior. I'd still go with billing for uncontracted services, but this is another point you can raise if he bugs you.

Above all, I'd say don't put up with too much more crap. Once you've expalined the situation to him, and presented him with the bill for extra services, he shouldn't be in contact with you any more. If he doesn't like what you tell him, he should know that his only legal resort is to go through the courts.

Cassiopeia
03-20-2010, 04:40 AM
And if I ever go into a temp job and am given a chair as filthy as the one you describe, Cassiopia, I'd be asking for another chair. There are some things that no decent person should put up with, and that's sitting in the filth left by another adult human being. :Hug2: Hope you don't have to do it for long...

It was just that one night. The problem is, she's disabled. And honestly, as an HR person I knew why they don't say anything to her. Yet, what they don't know is, she has to reasonably be able to meet the criteria for work attire and cleanliness when being the front line for greeting customers. Clearly she can't but they are kind enough to keep her on.

And because she was trying to train me and directed me to sit in her chair, I felt it would be unkind to mention my not wanting to sit in her chair. Though if they call me back there again, I will use the reason that the chair hurts my back and it did. She's buckled the springs and it's extremely hard on one's back.