Irked and pudgy

heyjude

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So the other day I'm hanging out with the Stepford Wives and our children. All these moms look the same--all fit and trim and tan and perfectly made up, you know the kind. They are almost all very kind and welcomed me when I moved here, included my kids with theirs, etc.

But. You knew there was a but. We're sitting there watching the kids play, and one of the moms says something about the "pudge" (a few ounces on her) she's not been able to lose since Christmas. She scans the crowd, slowly, and her eyes come to rest on me. Her lips lift in a half smile and she says, perfectly pleasantly, "Well, you know what I mean."

I just about fell over. I am five, count em, FIVE pounds from my "ideal" weight (thanks, Weight Watchers!). But in this crowd, I'm pudgy. Should I laugh or cry? Someone hug me, quick!

Why do people say things like this?!
 
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DeleyanLee

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Because they're insecure enough to want you to be miserable so they feel better about themselves.

High school never really ends.
 

Susie

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:Hug2:s, heyjude. Don't let her comment throw you. She's just 'jelus' and she's unhappy she gained the weight, so she figured she'd bother you since you're the new kid. You're doin' great!
 

regdog

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:Hug2:Hug2::Hug2: for you heyjude

Don't let her petty snarking and pathetic immaturity drag you down.

What a waste of life to be so shallow as to need to drag others down to feel better about ones self.

Next time any of the Stepford Hens stoop to such a tactic, Smile politely and say "No, I don't know what you mean. I've never disliked myself enough to make a comment like that."


I have a jerk streak in me and my response would have been way snarkier. I just would have looked at her and said. "No I don't know what you mean. I like being a pudge pot
finger6.gif
."

Regdog-proudly pudgie
 
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CaroGirl

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Give her a break. I say thoughtless things all the time and then regret them so they eat me up. I can be a real social zero. Unless this woman says stuff like this all the time with the intent to hurt, I'd let it go.
 

stormie

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So the other day I'm hanging out with the Stepford Wives and our children. All these moms look the same--all fit and trim and tan and perfectly made up, you know the kind. They are almost all very kind and welcomed me when I moved here, included my kids with theirs, etc.

But. You knew there was a but. We're sitting there watching the kids play, and one of the moms says something about the "pudge" (a few ounces on her) she's not been able to lose since Christmas. She scans the crowd, slowly, and her eyes come to rest on me. Her lips lift in a half smile and she says, perfectly pleasantly, "Well, you know what I mean."

I just about fell over. I am five, count em, FIVE pounds from my "ideal" weight (thanks, Weight Watchers!). But in this crowd, I'm pudgy. Should I laugh or cry? Someone hug me, quick!

Why do people say things like this?!
Are these the same moms from my area?! LOL.
It seems most of them have long blonde hair (dyed or not), bodies by Barbie, perfect make-up, and clothes straight from the designers. The ones who make those little barbs are those who lack self-confidence. Or maybe their significant other puts them down a lot.

Aside from that, here's a big hug :Hug2:
 

Jcomp

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Give her a break.

break her legs.

Ha!

Really though, I'd agree with CaroGirl. She probably didn't intend offense. Anyway, if you know where you are as far as your weight / health you don't need to worry about some other person's unofficial assessment...
 

heyjude

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Thanks all. :) I agree, too, with CaroGirl, and I'll never say another word about it to the Stepford Wife (because I'm NICE! as well as pudgy!) but man... it stings! And I have my witty rejoinders all ready to go, two days later. ::groan::
 

Gretad08

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My suitemate in college looked at a pic of me from 4 years earlier and said "OMG, did you used to be skinny?" I wanted to tackle her.

Oh and also, I'm kind of, uh, chesty. I was wearing a turtle neck one day and little miss sunshine said "I think people with big boobs look fat in turtlenecks." and then looked directly at me. She was such a witch.
 
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Cassiopeia

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So the other day I'm hanging out with the Stepford Wives and our children. All these moms look the same--all fit and trim and tan and perfectly made up, you know the kind. They are almost all very kind and welcomed me when I moved here, included my kids with theirs, etc.

But. You knew there was a but. We're sitting there watching the kids play, and one of the moms says something about the "pudge" (a few ounces on her) she's not been able to lose since Christmas. She scans the crowd, slowly, and her eyes come to rest on me. Her lips lift in a half smile and she says, perfectly pleasantly, "Well, you know what I mean."

I just about fell over. I am five, count em, FIVE pounds from my "ideal" weight (thanks, Weight Watchers!). But in this crowd, I'm pudgy. Should I laugh or cry? Someone hug me, quick!

Why do people say things like this?!
This is what is referred to as a vulture. Someone who is looking for someone else to demean so they can feel better about themselves.

Here's how you handle someone like that.

Her: Well, you know what I mean.
You: Why, no...no, I don't know what you mean. (make your face as open and yet blank as possible. Do not show offense.

She will then do one of two things. Get extremely uncomfortable and shut the hell up or she'll get uncomfortable and blunder through while trying to retrieve her foot out of her mouth.

Now I could give you a number of pithy remarks such as:

Why no, I don't--but I suppose someone from planet anorexia is bound to have a skewed perspective on things.

or

And here I was think your pudge made you look more human. huh. Guess it's a matter of perspective really.

However, the goal here is not humiliate her as much as it is to shut her up so I'd stick to the "why no, no I don't know what you mean." And make her dig herself out of that hole all by her little lonesome.

Kim, who's overweight enough that pudge sounds like a wonderful compliment. :D
 
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benbradley

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I''ve always wanted to have an opportunity to repeat this over and over with the exact same vocal intonation every time:

"Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ...
...
...
 

Spring

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I happen to know for a fact that you are gorgeous. A real stunner!

That Stepford wife was just being cruel and/or vacuous. Either way I think you should put some distance in that 'friendship.'

Don't let her words sting. I know, easier said than done, but...really...she's just a weanie-meanie.
 

Leah J. Utas

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Be glad you're not a Stepford? I agree with the "I don't know what you mean" response. Or a simple "No."

That, and thinking "Go to Hell" really, really loud.
 

SWest

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I''ve always wanted to have an opportunity to repeat this over and over with the exact same vocal intonation every time:

"Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ... Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say ...
...
...


I tried it: very refreshing! As Ben Bradley would say, "Well, THAT wasn't a nice thing to say." Must remember that. Shall remember that. Class will tell.

Beware of what your children might be learning in a household where that kind of behavior is considered "sociable". :poke:

For you: :Hug2: :Hug2: :Hug2: 'Cause I is a Hugger!
 

heyjude

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really...she's just a weanie-meanie.

This whole thread has already made me feel much, much better (and dh is thankful for the break from me following him around the house saying "I'm still slim and pretty right?" in a wavering voice). Spring's definitely got the Quote of the Day. :)
 

Wayne K

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I see the "Break her legs" and raise you a shotgun blast to the face. You get to vent, she loses ten pounds of ugly fat (her head) and everyone is happy.
 

TheIT

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I second the "Whatever do you mean?" approach? Put the onus on the person giving the insult to tapdance out of it. Such rude behavior should not be encouraged.

That said, there's also the writer's approach. You've just found inspiration for a new character. <insert evil laugh>

:D
 

Wayne K

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How about "Whatever do you mean? and then the shotgun?
 

writerterri

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I'd rather hang out with a gang of Barbies than those women. I don't do snooty very well. At all.

I saw a lady at Target yesterday that was made up drag queen style. I asked to be struck down by lightning if I ever felt the need to look like that just to participate in life. But I think the real truth is is that it's a mental illness. Those women don't feel secure in their real skin with their real boobs and their real lips.

I do!

And to look down on somebody else because you are insecure says how shallow you really are.

(hug) for you.

and a raspberry for her!
 

kaitie

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Oh hon that's just awful lol! Talk about a lack of tact.

I know the feeling, though. I live in Japan. As most of us know, Japanese women tend to way not an ounce over 100 pounds (and quite a few I'd be shocked if they were over 80). They're teeny-tiny, and these are the same girls who complain about their weight and go on idiotic banana diets and talk about how they can't wear swimsuits. I actually weigh right what I'm supposed to (I've lost fifty pounds since coming here), and by American standards I'm doing pretty good. I think I'll always be "pudgy," but I'm certainly not overweight. Until you compare me to like every woman in the country who has 0% body fat haha.

The funniest thing to me is when my boys come up bragging that they've been putting on weight and they'll give me a number and it's the same thing I weigh. You just have to laugh and not let it get to you and be happy with your own body. Still can't believe she said that!