Do We or Don't We?

tjwriter · Mar 10, 2010

Need some opinions, here folks. Sway me to your side.

Next month is the big anatomy ultrasound. I'm torn as to whether or not we should find out what we are having. My husband says he doesn't care, but he knows a lot of people are going to freak out if we don't know. The four year old wants us to find out.

I'm of two minds. The surprise would be awesome, but if we are having a boy, I'll have to get a whole new wardrobe after the first couple of weeks.

What do you think?

Shadow_Ferret · Mar 10, 2010

You'll be surprised when they tell you.

Finding out means you can be gender specific with the shower gift requests. You can concentrate on a boy's name or a girl's name. You can decorate the room for a boy or girl way ahead of time. To me there's only upside in knowing.

Sneaky Devil · Mar 10, 2010

I'd say do it, if for nothing other than the sake of the wee one who wants to know.

KTC · Mar 10, 2010

i found out for our last child...but my wife didn't. i was shown on the screen. i think it's totally something you have to decide on your own. even individually. one of you can find out and the other not. don't decide based on anybody's expectations...not even your 4 year-old.

kayleamay · Mar 10, 2010

I agree with the ferret. Gender is just one of the many "surprises" of parenthood. This would be something you can enjoy quietly with your family before word gets out. Why not get to know the little jelly bean a little early?

the addster · Mar 10, 2010

There are few times in life when anticipating the unknown is a good experience. This is one of those good ones.

I wouldn't want to know.

Maryn · Mar 10, 2010

We always wanted to know. The logic was that if anybody knows, it should be those most affected, which would be us. Whether we chose to share that was a different matter. We told our parents, as I recall, but not friends.

It's good to know ahead of time that you'll need different baby clothes, or might want to rethink that light blue bedroom decor. Friends giving baby gifts can easily find something that's not gender-specific, and they can be all surprised while you're all prepared.

Maryn, girl first, then boy

rhymegirl · Mar 10, 2010

I never really wanted to know. The first time around the technician asked us if we wanted to know. So we said okay. She said, "I think it's a boy." She was right.

But the other 2 times I didn't want to know. It's nice to be surprised.

Perks · Mar 10, 2010

I never wanted to know either time. I sort of wanted a boy and I knew that come the big day, there would be no twinge of I-wish after all that hubbub. I really enjoyed the surprise on that day, but there's nothing at all wrong with finding out if that's what you want.

ETA - I had two girls. They're very awesome.

EFCollins · Mar 10, 2010

I always found out the sex of my babies. For my oldest it was hard to miss. His tiny little junk looked like a turtle with its head stuck out as far as it could go on the ultrasound. (I had all my babes before they had 3-D ultrasounds) I found out because A) It would suck to deck out in pink and have to rush around to change to blue. B) It makes baby showers and gifts easy for the gifters to buy for the giftee(and yes, I know those aren't words) and C) I wanted to know. The suspense was killing me. Ultimately, it is up to you. If you want to know... find out. If'n not, then don't. It's just as much fun as not knowing. You just get to be specific. Either way, it is a baby. And a human one at that. Babies are great no matter the plumbing.

scarletpeaches · Mar 10, 2010

The doctor could tell you and be wrong. It's happened before.

KTC · Mar 10, 2010

scarletpeaches said:
The doctor could tell you and be wrong. It's happened before.

yes it has...but it's happening far less. i saw a shot yesterday...a co-worker's unborn grandchild. i couldn't believe the difference. so much clearer than even 3 or 4 years ago.

Gretad08 · Mar 10, 2010

I wanted to know during my first week of pregnancy sooo yeah, I found out right away.

With my 2nd (who's only 4 months old) I knew he was a boy b/c I felt so different than with my girl. Plus I was kinda mean

Gretad08 · Mar 10, 2010

If you have the option of a 3D ultrasound I recommend it...very cool. I had one about 4 days before he was born and the pic was clear as glass. They said that usually you can't get a good pic at the end b/c there isn't enough fluid around the baby, but it worked for me...the ultrasound tech took the picture around the office to show it off.

JLCwrites · Mar 10, 2010

With my first, we waited. I love antici.....................pation.

The second was different. I wanted to know if I needed to donate all of the 'first born clothes' and we were shopping for homes, so I wanted to know if we needed another room (in case the baby was the opposite sex).

Just follow your heart. If you want to wait... wait.

Devil Ledbetter · Mar 10, 2010

I pretty much just wanted to know that the heart had 4 chambers. Everything else was just icing.

Good luck.

DeleyanLee · Mar 10, 2010

We didn't have the option with my first(yeah, it was a LONG time ago). When we had the chance with my second, we didn't want to know.

But as we were watching the screen and the tech was measuring the femur, the baby turned and shoved his penis right in the way. Totally unmistakeable that HE wanted us to know.

Sometimes the decision isn't yours.

Personally, I see no problem with finding out since you have the opportunity.

Silver King · Mar 10, 2010

scarletpeaches said:
The doctor could tell you and be wrong. It's happened before.

That happened with two of my children (the first and fourth).

We were very surprised at the time, which made the events of their births that much more special.

tjwriter · Mar 11, 2010

Thanks for all the opinions.

The practical side of me wants to know so we can prepare. That other side of me thinks have a surprise would be fun and different. We'll see.

Alpha Echo · Mar 11, 2010

I think I would want to know so that I can prepare, focus on names. It's more fun when you're having the baby shower too if the guests know. Then they don't have to hunt for something cute and generic. Generic isn't always cute. It's much more fun to go shopping when you know if it's a little boy or a little girl.

kaitie · Mar 11, 2010

Nooo! Be surprised. You could always get one cute outfit for each sex to take home from the hospital, or just get something like a generic gown if you want something fancy. When they're little bitty the everyday clothes are almost the exact same anyway, and you can get some yellow and green, then go shopping afterward. Or heck, have a baby shower after the baby is born. I'm all for the surprise thing. I think it's awesome and kinda sad that so few people do it anymore.

poetinahat · Mar 11, 2010

A possible combo option: Paint the room yellow, don't buy anything pink or blue, and wait for the surprise.

Another idea. Flip a coin: heads, you find out, tails, you wait. Sounds silly, but the theory is that, as soon as the coin leaves your hand, you realise which way you hope the coin will land.

Actually, we held off for the surprise on our firstborn (a girl) and found out for the second (a boy). I'm very glad we did it that way - it was right for us.

tjwriter · Mar 11, 2010

Names are a hard one for me anyway. It's usually 8-8 1/2 months along until I start really thinking about names and then nothing is final until I meet the little one. In the past, I've had a couple of names for the ultrasound-indicated sex and then a couple of thoughts on boy names should the ultrasound be wrong. However, with the both of the girls, I knew right away when I stumbled upon the correct name. And Cadence kicked me every time I said her proposed name.

The bedroom is done in Winnie the Pooh green and gold and the newborn clothes are neutral. With my first, the ultrasound wasn't totally conclusive because Little Miss Piper wouldn't turn all the way. The sonographer gave me an 85% certainty she was a girl. I played this up big time and sought out cute but neutral things. We can survive the very beginnings on what we already have.

AZ_Dawn · Mar 11, 2010

You can do whatever you want, but keep in mind the story of my little sister's brother- and sister-in-law. The OB was sure that they were going to have a girl. 90% or so sure. They picked out a girl's name, got lots of girl stuff, etc. Heck, on the due date someone brought them an "It a girl" balloon to the hospital!

It was a boy.

My little sis was told a couple months ago there's a 99-point-something% chance she's having a boy; she and her husband are picking out a backup girl's name just in case.

jvc · Mar 11, 2010

TJ, you have to find out, because I wanna know. You can't leave me hanging on like this until the birth. It's not fair I tells yer.

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