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Gil's Project

Gillhoughly

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Hey, you never know, we might get accepted and can split the advance for beer money!

I forget the guidelines. Do they want a full MS or query/synopsis/sample chapters?

I vote for historical, to play off their HH vs their Hh lines.

Sir Charles Grabbsit is a dashing rake who suffers from kleptomania, and he steals a bride from her wedding.

Hm. Actually, I might want to read that one.

Never mind.

He rips her bodice--no rape, he's just into bodice-ripping 'cause he owns a share in a bodice-making factory and rips bodices all over London to support his workers.

They fall in love because she's not wearing one of HIS special bodices, and that intrigues him. But he's sent to Bedlam and she poses as a pee-bucket cleaner to get inside and help him escape, only to find he has a quite nice room after all, and since they love each other so much they decide to stay.

Her last act is to shove her discarded bodice through the barred windows of their cell, then she melts under his blue gaze while tucking a strand of her glorious russet hair behind one ear.

Dammit. I STILL might want to read that! :mad:

Suddenly, a pirate ship appears on the horizon!

It's a traveling company of players pushing their stage ship over the rough roads, but hiding in their ranks is the dashing highwayman, Dennis Moore, on the hunt for lupines!

STAND AND DELIVER YOUR LUPINES MANUSCRIPT!

dennis.jpg

 
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Terie

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I'd throw in a chapter from a trunked YA bike racing novel, just to make absolutely sure the resulting manuscript is rubbish. You know, in case all the bodice-ripping stuff actually sorta kinda (accidentally) works when it's all shoved together. :D
 

Giant Baby

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Nora Roberts has a book in which the hero turns into a wolf and takes liberties with the heroine, who thinks of him as a pet dog and gets into naked tugs-of-war with him, also letting him lick her leg and watch her bathe. It's very unsexy, and alarming in several other ways, as well.

Dibs on writing the weremonkey! (Oh, wait... the wolf thing got published. Crap.)
 

Gillhoughly

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Hah, if you're asking for volunteers, I write bad very well! Someone should write a plot outline and character list.

It has to be off board. HQN might have someone keeping an eye on this thread.

Who's got an anonymous PO Box and e-mail addy, keeping in mind they can backtrack to your computer's addy so maybe use a non-writing friend's computer for this nefarious scheme.

Send me a PM and I'll be glad to do a character list. Names are a hobby with me.
 

Giant Baby

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... I forget the guidelines. Do they want a full MS or query/synopsis/sample chapters?

It looks like Hh wants 2 page synopsis and first 3 chapters. So, we should definitely send the whole ms.

Twizzle is unable to log on at the moment, but she'd like to throw in, too.

PM'ing Gillhoughley! :e2headban
 

Anon76

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I'll join in. I'm published in historical romance, so I can muck it up pretty good if I just type and don't think. LOL. (And I really hate the term "bodice ripper", but that is the whole point of this venture, yes? To make a sham of it using all the cliches?)

I def don't want HQ knowing who I am, though. So off list and with an anon addy would be great.

I'll PM you this AM, Gil.
 

Giant Baby

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PMs to those who've expressed interest about to commence. Anyone else who'd like to jump in, PM me. Gill's point about keeping details off board is a good one.

Her character/plot tx has lots of potential for squicky, squicky ew's Freaking delightful.
 

Giant Baby

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Oh, and for you vets- approximately how many chapters does an Hh run. Any ideas? Guidelines are 70-75k. Do chapters tend to run long, or in quick bursts?
 

jennontheisland

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The trouble with writing something rejection worthy is that you're guaranteed a form letter.

If you write something half way almost considerable, you're more likely to get an editor response with reasons for rejection, possible suggestions for improvements, or alternative lines to consider.
 

DreamWeaver

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The trouble with writing something rejection worthy is that you're guaranteed a form letter.

If you write something half way almost considerable, you're more likely to get an editor response with reasons for rejection, possible suggestions for improvements, or alternative lines to consider.
I think the idea is to get the form letter and see if it has the referral to DA on it. One assumes if the submission were halfway decent they wouldn't throw it into the Bog of Eternal Stench.
 
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DreamWeaver

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So an editor suggests "alternatives" for publishing, rather than flat out rejection and sending the poisonous wordage straight to the recycle bin for the good of humanity.
Oh. I assumed DA was taking the place of the recyle bin. It's not like the submission needs to be any good to make money for Harlequin as a DelArte production.

ETA: If I were reading slush for Harlequin and understood the concept of DelArte, I would send only the worst, most hopeless cases there. The ones that apparently will never improve to the point of being able to write a coherent sentence. Because if I send a half-decent author there, once she's done with that experience Harlequin will probably never get a second shot at any of her books.
 
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Gillhoughly

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Annnd I could be completely wrong. ;)

It's been a long, stressful day. Not firing on all thrusters.

Have a strong suspicion the book will have to be wildly inappropriate rather than bloody awful. The editor can suggest DA with a clean conscience.
 

DreamWeaver

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Annnd I could be completely wrong. ;)

It's been a long, stressful day. Not firing on all thrusters.

Have a strong suspicion the book will have to be wildly inappropriate rather than bloody awful. The editor can suggest DA with a clean conscience.
You may be right--I've noted that the Force is strong in you, and oftentimes a good hunch is better than all the argumentative logic and overthinking in the galaxy.

In my possibly overthought version, I would say if the editor doesn't realize DA is a dead end, they could do it with a clean conscience. Otherwise their referral, if accepted, simply removes a possibly decent book from the query merry-go-round so it can languish unedited and unsupported in POD Hell for the DelArte contract duration.

It would be much kinder NOT to refer a good but inappropriate book to DelArte--but a) the editor may not realize that, or b) it may be more important for Harlequin to rake in the referral fees.

Having thought myself into a pretzel, I will now retire from the lists and admire the project as it continues. Off to get popcorn!




ETA: This is in NO WAY a flounce. If I should ever flounce (heaven forbid!), you will definitely see the words, "I'm taking my ball and going home now."
 
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dragonjax

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I think we really and truly want it to be awful -- we don't want an editor personalize the rejection at all. Form letter all the way. So I would recommend that it not even be good. I think it should be cringe-worthy bad. Humble suggestion, of course.