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View Full Version : Burial, Cremation or Hefty Bag?



brainstorm77
02-26-2010, 02:45 AM
When you die, how shall we dispose of you? Personally I like cremation.

Adam
02-26-2010, 02:47 AM
Cremation all the way. ;)

(I have a fear of being buried alive.)

Gretad08
02-26-2010, 02:49 AM
I'm afraid of being burned or buried, so I'm really outta luck.

Adam
02-26-2010, 02:50 AM
I'm afraid of being burned or buried, so I'm really outta luck.

How about being frozen and shook into pieces? I hear that's doable these days. :)

Gretad08
02-26-2010, 03:04 AM
How about being frozen and shook into pieces? I hear that's doable these days. :)

eeeewwwww creepy!

Adam
02-26-2010, 03:05 AM
Ok, how about being left in a forest for the wolves? I have a buddy that wants that (though it's not doable in the UK) ;)

Cranky
02-26-2010, 03:06 AM
I have a horror of rotting, so cremation it is. The fact that it's less expensive is nice, too.

Adam
02-26-2010, 03:13 AM
Oh, and my funeral song shall be "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLVHlgheJ_8). :D

semilargeintestine
02-26-2010, 03:15 AM
In accordance with halacha. Washed and put in a wooden box with holes cut out of the bottom (the box is only because they probably won't let me just get buried in a sheet).


Cremation all the way. ;)

(I have a fear of being buried alive.)

Better to be burned alive than buried alive?

Adam
02-26-2010, 03:17 AM
Better to be burned alive than buried alive?

Much. ;)

Though I'm an organ donor, so by the time they've ripped my heart, lungs and whatever else out, the whole "being mistaken for dead" thing will no longer be an issue...

Xelebes
02-26-2010, 03:17 AM
Launched into space.

semilargeintestine
02-26-2010, 03:20 AM
Much. ;)

I'm sure there are millions of people who would readily disagree with you if they were still around.

Plus, you could always ask them to bury you with a cell phone so you can call in case they made a mistake (which is unlikely to happen unless you live in a place with absolutely no technology or licensed physicians).

Adam
02-26-2010, 03:24 AM
I'm sure there are millions of people who would readily disagree with you if they were still around.


:rolleyes:



(which is unlikely to happen unless you live in a place with absolutely no technology or licensed physicians).

Since when did fears have to be rational?! You'd better tell all those arachnophobes to stop being silly. ;)

rhymegirl
02-26-2010, 03:24 AM
I'm afraid of being burned or buried, so I'm really outta luck.

That's why there's the Hefty Bag option.

semilargeintestine
02-26-2010, 03:32 AM
:rolleyes:



Since when did fears have to be rational?! You'd better tell all those arachnophobes to stop being silly. ;)

Spiders aren't scary. Butterflies, on the other hand, are terrifying.

Adam
02-26-2010, 03:33 AM
This is true. ;)

rhymegirl
02-26-2010, 03:37 AM
Some of us are going to live forever.

semilargeintestine
02-26-2010, 03:43 AM
This is true. ;)

The only thing more horrifying than butterflies are moths.

*shudder*

Adam
02-26-2010, 03:45 AM
Some of us are going to live forever.

Oh, me too, but if by some strange twist of fate I should kick the bucket, I wish to be turned into charcoal briquettes. :D

DeleyanLee
02-26-2010, 03:58 AM
I'm opting for cremation, though the idea of donating my body to The Body Farm is very tempting, but I'm also an organ donor so I doubt they'd take my carcass afterward.

I have a friend who has money set aside so that her and her husband's ashes can be compressed into two diamonds and made into jewelry for her grandchildren.

ad_lucem
02-26-2010, 04:00 AM
I've thought about this, actually. And having been to numerous funerals over the years, I've decided I know exactly how I want to be sent off.

In a novelty coffin (http://www.creativecoffins.com/).

But, not just that. I want it to be open casket and I want my corpse dressed in a clown suit.

No somber hymns, either. Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" or Eric Idle's famous "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" (from the end of Life of Brian) would do quite nicely.

And I don't want anyone talking about taking time to think about their own mortality or how short life is or anything @#$@#ing depressing like that. I think maybe a good roast would be best so everyone could be reminded why it's probably best I'm in the box, anyway.

And if my mother-in-law is by some freak of nature still alive... I want there to be a bouncer present to enforce a "no flash photography" rule. I'm so @#$@#ing tired of that woman snapping pictures of corpses, clergy, and urns to look at after the service that it might actually bring me back from the dead as a flesh eating zombie...just to gnaw her camera clicking hand off.

Well, anyhow...since you asked...

That's how I picture it. :D

Although, the hefty bag sounds much more economical.

Adam
02-26-2010, 04:03 AM
That sounds awesome, Ad ;)

kayleamay
02-26-2010, 04:05 AM
I would like my body to be hurled off a cliff. The higher up the better. Kind of strange I guess, considering I'm afraid of heights.

AZ_Dawn
02-26-2010, 04:27 AM
This thread's theme song! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIaXS8yGf7c&NR=1) :evil

S.J.
02-26-2010, 04:34 AM
I would like my body to be hurled off a cliff. The higher up the better. Kind of strange I guess, considering I'm afraid of heights.

Wow, that's interesting - why?

I want to be buried and be part of the natural life cycle feed trees blah blah... although if I ever get rich I will be frozen.

Adam
02-26-2010, 04:37 AM
This thread's theme song! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIaXS8yGf7c&NR=1) :evil

Haha, love it! :D

brainstorm77
02-26-2010, 04:40 AM
LOL

Gugland
02-26-2010, 04:41 AM
Just part me out like a stolen Lexus and dispose of the rest as you wish. But, who knows, maybe by the time I die I'll have a wife who I resent, in which case I'll insist on the most expensive casket & burial available.

rhymegirl
02-26-2010, 04:43 AM
As for the open coffin at the wake--

I must say I hate the idea of being stared at. My spirit would be hovering up in the air thinking, "Ooh, bad makeup job. Don't look!"

Adam
02-26-2010, 04:48 AM
I want an open urn. ;)

Don't sneeze in me!

ad_lucem
02-26-2010, 04:54 AM
As for the open coffin at the wake--

I must say I hate the idea of being stared at. My spirit would be hovering up in the air thinking, "Ooh, bad makeup job. Don't look!"

That's why I'd opt for the clown costume/makeup.

That, and I'd want to be buried with odd objects. Really strange things that are unlikely to biodegrade. Mainly for the purpose of pissing off any archaeologist who might happen on my bones.

I want those suckers to be excavating the area filled with all sorts of nice, quiet, boring dearly departed, and then dig out my spot saying "WTF???!"

ad_lucem
02-26-2010, 04:57 AM
I want an open urn. ;)

Don't sneeze in me!

I don't know why, but I thinking of the episode of Trigger Happy TV where a guy is on a boat dumping (ostensibly human) ashes on a very windy day...much to the chagrin of other passengers :evil

KellyAssauer
02-26-2010, 04:57 AM
and I'd want to be buried with odd objects. Really strange things that are unlikely to biodegrade. Mainly for the purpose of pissing off any archaeologist who might happen on my bones.

Sooooooo,
pretty much pack ya up in pampers and be done with it? :D

rhymegirl
02-26-2010, 04:57 AM
I want an open urn. ;)

Don't sneeze in me!

That could be risky. You'd end up everywhere.

rhymegirl
02-26-2010, 05:00 AM
That's why I'd opt for the clown costume/makeup.


Well, that's one option. The other is they could just close the lid.

ad_lucem
02-26-2010, 05:04 AM
Sooooooo,
pretty much pack ya up in pampers and be done with it? :D

Well, that would be fitting. Pampers have played a significant role in my adult life in recent years. But, I'd prefer to have some truly odd things packed in there. Something really WTF worthy...not that diapers in a coffin aren't odd...I suppose.

Adam
02-26-2010, 05:07 AM
That could be risky. You'd end up everywhere.

But I'd get a laugh (at least from some), and that's what matters. :D

ad_lucem
02-26-2010, 05:07 AM
Well, that's one option. The other is they could just close the lid.

Yeah, you could do that. But, it seems like a missed opportunity in a way...

Adam
02-26-2010, 05:09 AM
That, and I'd want to be buried with odd objects. Really strange things that are unlikely to biodegrade. Mainly for the purpose of pissing off any archaeologist who might happen on my bones.

14 shurikens, exactly half of a metal army helmet, and a toy dinosaur.

EFCollins
02-26-2010, 05:14 AM
I think I want to be mummified. Mummies are awesome. I could totally do the mummy thing. *nods*

As for odd objects...

a bottle of listerine, a tube of bright red lipstick and charcoal. Oh, and some AA batteries.

Ken
02-26-2010, 05:18 AM
... don't make no difference to me as I won't be around to care. So any of the above would do.

Devil Ledbetter
02-26-2010, 06:11 AM
I knew someone who worked in a mausoleum. First hand I've seen the "crypt gnats" and the "leakers." If I'm not cremated, I'm coming back to haunt the responsible parties and it won't be pretty.

ad_lucem
02-26-2010, 06:12 AM
14 shurikens, exactly half of a metal army helmet, and a toy dinosaur.

:roll:

Werks fer me....

I liked the listerine and AA batteries, too. Hey, they're all small items. Why not throw em' all in ;)

ad_lucem
02-26-2010, 06:16 AM
I think I want to be mummified. Mummies are awesome. I could totally do the mummy thing. *nods*

As for odd objects...

a bottle of listerine, a tube of bright red lipstick and charcoal. Oh, and some AA batteries.

Mummies... on that topic, I was reading to the kids about Egypt the other night. There was a bit about mummies. Then my eldest said "They used herbs and spices? That sounds like what you do to make beef jerky..."

I said, "Well, yes, they were kind of 'curing' the 'meat' of the dead king, so...yeah...Tut is one fancy, well wrapped piece of beef jerky...if you think about it..."

Haggis
02-26-2010, 06:31 AM
I want to be cut into small pieces and flushed down the toilet.

Jersey Chick
02-26-2010, 06:35 AM
You all realize you're twisted and need help, right? ;)

I almost hurt myself laughing at some of these responses.

I am going to live forever. No need to worry.

kayleamay
02-26-2010, 06:37 AM
I'm now stuck thinking about my corpse being hurled off a cliff. I've decided that I would like to be thrown off the edge of the Mt. St. Helen's crater by a giant catapult while the choral section of Ode to Joy played in the background. I would then like there to be a short fireworks display and free beer for everyone.

I must now go rewrite my will.

Haggis
02-26-2010, 06:40 AM
I'm now stuck thinking about my corpse being hurled off a cliff. I've decided that I would like to be thrown off the edge of the Mt. St. Helen's crater by a giant catapult while the choral section of Ode to Joy played in the background. I would then like there to be a short fireworks display and free beer for everyone.

I must now go rewrite my will.

They used the catapult thing in Northern Exposure. So, while you can still do it, it wouldn't be original, I'm afraid.

eta: The rest of it is golden as far as I can tell.

Gugland
02-26-2010, 06:48 AM
They used the catapult thing in Northern Exposure. So, while you can still do it, it wouldn't be original, I'm afraid.

eta: The rest of it is golden as far as I can tell.

Hey, she said free beer. Don't spoil it.

Matera the Mad
02-26-2010, 07:02 AM
Just let me rot, hokay?

Cassiopeia
02-26-2010, 07:17 AM
What??? WHAT? I'm not going to die.

Forget that. I don't like any of your options. So I'm just going to have to live. FOREVER.

*see the title now*

Series: The Horror Continues: Cassiopeia is alive and well and posting on AW

bettielee
02-26-2010, 07:26 AM
I should like to be cremated and put in a pretty vase.

Thank you for asking.

Cella
02-26-2010, 07:49 AM
"I don't understand the question....and I won't respond to it." --Lucille Bluth

kayleamay
02-26-2010, 07:58 AM
They used the catapult thing in Northern Exposure. So, while you can still do it, it wouldn't be original, I'm afraid.

eta: The rest of it is golden as far as I can tell.

Oh, that's right. If I remember correctly there was an episode with a piano.

Hmmm....how about a ceremonial slab decorated like a World Cup Soccer pinball machine, then right as the music is ripe a button can be pushed which will cause a giant flipper to shoot me up a ramp and over the edge. Of course, this is when the announcer will shout, "Goooooooooaaaaaaaaal!". There will still be fireworks and free beer. I would like to be dressed in a bedazzled jumpsuit too, and maybe a nice cape that would flap in the wind as I fell.

ad_lucem
02-26-2010, 08:02 AM
They used the catapult thing in Northern Exposure. So, while you can still do it, it wouldn't be original, I'm afraid.

eta: The rest of it is golden as far as I can tell.

I loved that show...

Anyways....

How about a trebuchet then?

kayleamay
02-26-2010, 08:18 AM
Isn't a trebuchet the same thing as a catapult?

bettielee
02-26-2010, 09:07 AM
trebuchet

http://i361.photobucket.com/albums/oo60/m1onkeyman1231313/trebuchet.jpg

catapult

http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d119/MzNqbus/catapult.jpg

bettielee
02-26-2010, 09:08 AM
catapult in action

http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh110/OfiSmileys/icon_catapult.gif

Gugland
02-26-2010, 09:17 AM
Oh, that's right. If I remember correctly there was an episode with a piano.

Hmmm....how about a ceremonial slab decorated like a World Cup Soccer pinball machine, then right as the music is ripe a button can be pushed which will cause a giant flipper to shoot me up a ramp and over the edge. Of course, this is when the announcer will shout, "Goooooooooaaaaaaaaal!". There will still be fireworks and free beer. I would like to be dressed in a bedazzled jumpsuit too, and maybe a nice cape that would flap in the wind as I fell.

Sounds elaborate and expensive. But, as they say: "go for it, it's your funeral"

kayleamay
02-26-2010, 11:24 AM
Sounds elaborate and expensive. But, as they say: "go for it, it's your funeral"

Doesn't need to be expensive. I have a wood shop and and imagination that never sleeps. I also have a kick ass set of Bose speakers, a Kegerator and enough fireworks in my garage to light up most of downtown Portland. I figure with a little ski wax and a friend that is handy with a Bedazzler I could pull this whole thing off for around $99.99. If you've ever been forced to go through a mausoleum sales spiel, you know this is a bargain.

Or I could always go the traditional route. Force my children to pay thousands for a metal box to put my ashes in and a promise that the grounds will be mowed once a year. Of course, they will inherit my estate, which consists of a mortgage payment, three used cars and a checking account that barely exists.

Nah, it's body launching and fireworks for me.

Have a beer. It's cold and it's free. I want people to smile at my funeral, not cry.

NathanBrazil
02-26-2010, 12:11 PM
bettielee - why'd you put that poor kitty on the mini-trebuchet?

The whole ski wax, bedazzler thing is interesting. But $99.99??

Earl says he has a used tree chipper and that sounds a bit less expensive.

brainstorm77
02-26-2010, 02:11 PM
Ideally I would like to be placed in one of those big ole mauseoleums. Of course it would have to be my own. But I doubt I will ever be able to afford that. It's kinda like a house for eternity. :)

sadron
02-26-2010, 02:29 PM
I want a creepy catacomb with all gothic statues.

brainstorm77
02-26-2010, 02:32 PM
... don't make no difference to me as I won't be around to care. So any of the above would do.

I vote Hefty Bag for you :D

Haggis
02-26-2010, 04:56 PM
Oh, that's right. If I remember correctly there was an episode with a piano.

Hmmm....how about a ceremonial slab decorated like a World Cup Soccer pinball machine, then right as the music is ripe a button can be pushed which will cause a giant flipper to shoot me up a ramp and over the edge. Of course, this is when the announcer will shout, "Goooooooooaaaaaaaaal!". There will still be fireworks and free beer. I would like to be dressed in a bedazzled jumpsuit too, and maybe a nice cape that would flap in the wind as I fell.

I love this idea. Talk about putting the fun back into death...

Devil Ledbetter
02-26-2010, 05:28 PM
For Cranky:

Crypt gnats are either fruit flies or fruit-fly like insects that hang out in little clouds in a mausoleum.

A leaker is a casket inside a mausoleum wall that leaks outside of the wall so that a revolting, stinky, crypt-gnat attracting mess spills down the marble. Leaking is most common with the somewhat recently interred corpses of very overweight individuals.

Another huge issue I have with traditional burial or mausoleums is disinterment. This is the industry term for moving a casket from one place to another. It happens more often than you'd ever think possible. People change their minds about where uncle Fred should be buried. There was one lady who kept coming back to the mausoleum requesting disinterment to change her dead husband's clothing.

The nice thing about cremation is nobody can mess with your body. I want my ashes scattered so no one is stuck with some guilt-inducing fancy jar of me.

Ken
02-26-2010, 05:45 PM
... always wanted to get a job in a cemetery or live by one. Now I'm not so sure ;-)

Come to think of it, though, I did work for a company that was located across the street from a huge cemetery. Rats were a problem. They have extensive tunnels, everywhere. The company cats were pleased, though ^..^

rhymegirl
02-26-2010, 05:46 PM
I want to be cut into small pieces and flushed down the toilet.

Okay. We'll get right on that. ;)

shyne
02-26-2010, 05:49 PM
Cremation...and put my ashes in a box of Tropical Dots

stormie
02-26-2010, 06:04 PM
I want an open urn. ;)

Don't sneeze in me!
Reminds me of the story of two sisters standing on a bridge over a body of water. They released their sibling's ashes into the air. A wind blew the ashes back at them, and they had ashes on them and in their mouths.

I choose cremation and immediate burial. In the ground. None of this throwing stormie's ashes into the ocean, only to get blown back onto the throwees.

quickWit
02-26-2010, 06:33 PM
Fricassee.

Lyxdeslic
02-26-2010, 07:10 PM
When you die, how shall we dispose of you? Personally I like cremation.Interesting topic, actually.

From early on in my marriage, I've shared my wishes with my wife that I'd like to have my body hiked up into the deep woods of Oregon and burned. Yeah, I guess that could be considered eccentric, but hey, it's my funeral, right?

Anyway, it's my goddmanded dying wish, so you'd think at the very least--to appease me--she'd say "Yes, absolutely, done deal." Well hell f'ing no. And I quote, "That's illegal. I can't do that." And I shit you not: "I'd get a ticket." A ticket? My last request and she's worried about Society's rules? Fuck I hate how brainwashed we Americans are. Does she not know me? Ah, but I digress.

Anyway, yeah, I'd like my body hiked into the deep woods, have my brothers build a bonfire, and burn me up. Apparently, it won't happen, but it'd be the way I'd like it to be done.

Lyx

PS

Yes, you know who, I did find this topic 'cause I stalk you. :)

ether
02-26-2010, 07:42 PM
" And for a full 100 denary, all four of us carry the deceased along, and then we gently lower him into the ground on straps… and then we’ll twang him into a tree!” "

... Anyway.

Having seen first-hand how the cremation process works, I really wouldn't want that for myself. Of course, my ideal wish would be to have a crypt to be placed in, rather than put in the ground, so... crypted? ;)

In reality, so long as my SO and family tell me they'll do whatever I want, I don't really care. I'll be dead.


Other options:
Memorial Diamonds (http://www.memorial-diamonds.com/)! Have your ashes or hair turned into a memento for your loved ones!

Ken
02-26-2010, 08:00 PM
I vote Hefty Bag for you :D

... I vote bang zoom you're going to the moon for you.

;-)

Devil Ledbetter
02-26-2010, 08:42 PM
Interesting topic, actually.

From early on in my marriage, I've shared my wishes with my wife that I'd like to have my body hiked up into the deep woods of Oregon and burned. Yeah, I guess that could be considered eccentric, but hey, it's my funeral, right?

Anyway, it's my goddmanded dying wish, so you'd think at the very least--to appease me--she'd say "Yes, absolutely, done deal." Well hell f'ing no. And I quote, "That's illegal. I can't do that." And I shit you not: "I'd get a ticket." A ticket? My last request and she's worried about Society's rules? Fuck I hate how brainwashed we Americans are. Does she not know me? Ah, but I digress.

Anyway, yeah, I'd like my body hiked into the deep woods, have my brothers build a bonfire, and burn me up. Apparently, it won't happen, but it'd be the way I'd like it to be done.

Lyx

PS

Yes, you know who, I did find this topic 'cause I stalk you. :)I can make that promise to burn you up, and I would pay the fine. Unfortunately you won't be able to verify that did it.

NathanBrazil
02-26-2010, 09:33 PM
I would like my bones to be bleached and miniaturized so they could be used to divine the future.

brainstorm77
02-26-2010, 10:17 PM
There is a company in the USA that's doing green burials. You cannot be embalmed and you are buried in a cardboard casket in a meadow setting. The only markers aloud are trees, shrubs etc .....

semilargeintestine
02-26-2010, 10:25 PM
Jewish law has forbidden embalming for 3,000 years, and it is preferable to not even have a casket. We only use pine boxes because state law requires it, lol. We usually have headstones though. I'm not sure how a rock isn't green though.

I don't know why anyone would want to be put in the ground in Fort Knox.

brainstorm77
02-26-2010, 10:34 PM
Jewish law has forbidden embalming for 3,000 years, and it is preferable to not even have a casket. We only use pine boxes because state law requires it, lol. We usually have headstones though. I'm not sure how a rock isn't green though.

I don't know why anyone would want to be put in the ground in Fort Knox.


Maybe they allow rocks... It's been a while since I see the advert for the company. I do know they don't mow the grass or anything.

ad_lucem
02-26-2010, 10:35 PM
There is a company in the USA that's doing green burials. You cannot be embalmed and you are buried in a cardboard casket in a meadow setting. The only markers aloud are trees, shrubs etc .....

Nice to see I'll be ahead of the curve with my cardboard novelty coffin and clown suit...

Don't need embalming anyway. I've probably eaten enough preservatives and petrochemicals over my life span that such efforts would only be redundant, anyway.

:D

brainstorm77
02-26-2010, 10:39 PM
Embalming freaks me out.

ad_lucem
02-26-2010, 10:42 PM
Embalming freaks me out.

Amen to that. I don't know how my husband's cousin managed to embalm his grandpa and hers.

1) I couldn't embalm someone on a good day.

2) I sure as @#$@# couldn't embalm a relative.

It's a miracle I'm not down at the therapist's office 8 hours a day 5 days a week as it is. After something like that, you'd have to toss me in a padded cell and throw away the key.

brainstorm77
02-26-2010, 10:50 PM
I just don't see the point of it. Let's preserve you for people to view you for two days and put you in the ground to rot. ????? WTF is up with that?

writerterri
02-26-2010, 10:55 PM
Take what you need then burn the rest. And don't have a depressing funeral for me. I'm where I finally want to be. In peace. Have a dinner party! I love dinner parties. My ashes, do whatever you want with them just honor everyone's wishes.

quickWit
02-26-2010, 10:57 PM
Take what you need then burn the rest. And don't have a depressing funeral for me. I'm where I finally want to be. In peace. Have a dinner party! I love dinner parties. My ashes, do whatever you want with them just honor everyone's wishes.

Dibs on the ashes.

:)

kayleamay
02-26-2010, 11:03 PM
Take what you need then burn the rest. And don't have a depressing funeral for me. I'm where I finally want to be. In peace. Have a dinner party! I love dinner parties. My ashes, do whatever you want with them just honor everyone's wishes.

I need new knees. Can I have yours? I may need a cornea too. If you say yes, I'll host your dinner party. I will serve bunny fricassee.

writerterri
02-26-2010, 11:31 PM
Dibs on the ashes.

:)

Can you do pottery?

I have my mom's ashes. I wanted to make a vase, glaze it and have it re-fired. Is this weird? I really want to do this. Or make a gemstone out of her and put her in a ring, but a vase would be cheaper. No one would have to know that the clay is made from my mom?

I am morbid but keenly morbid.


I need new knees. Can I have yours? I may need a cornea too. If you say yes, I'll host your dinner party. I will serve bunny fricassee.

Oh, I have nice knees. You can have my nice knees. And I like my bunny with extra carrots.

*makes a note*

ad_lucem
02-26-2010, 11:39 PM
I just don't see the point of it. Let's preserve you for people to view you for two days and put you in the ground to rot. ????? WTF is up with that?

I don't get the attraction of viewing the body, anyway. What, to verify they're really dead?

It never, ever really looks like the person anyway. After embalming and that gawd awful makeup the corpse always looks waxy to me. The corpse goes from being the former home of your loved one's essence to something more akin to something out of a poor man's Madame Tussauds.

The corpse might as well be covered with clown makeup and a half-clown suit...might as well, would be about the same effect.

semilargeintestine
02-27-2010, 01:02 AM
I don't want a boring funeral either. I want a pinata, music and lots of booze.

Gugland
02-27-2010, 01:09 AM
I don't want a boring funeral either. I want a pinata, music and lots of booze.

Somehow made me think of the phrase "pinata corpse" So I googled. Interesting.

NathanBrazil
02-27-2010, 01:14 AM
Cripes Gugland. I was thinking the same thing.

Gretad08
02-27-2010, 01:16 AM
My Dad died in December and he Hated (with a capital H :)) funerals. He always said that he didn't want a funeral, we should have a party, blah blah blah. Of course this wasn't practical b/c we needed a large venue to accomodate the crowd. ( we had around 1000 guests at his funeral...loved by all) Anyway, here are some of the things we did to make it less like a funeral:

We played really cheerful Christmas music instead of hymns b/c he loved Christmas
We had a Christmas tree with lights up at the front next to his ashes and picture.
We had the whole giant room filled with framed pictures of him.
We made a slideshow that was played on 3 plasmas throughout the funeral home. The music on the slideshow included "You Don't Mess Around with Jim", Dad's name was Jim
We had our priest come to the funeral home and give about a 10 minute service. After that 3 people spoke and told nothing but funny stories about Dad...we all could have sat there for hours telling those stories and laughing.
The whole service took about 30 minutes and then at least 100 people went back to my parents house where a HUGE spread, and lots of drinks of the adult variety. We sat around and laughed and cried, but mostly just told great 'Jim' stories.

Oh, also, one of his students (he taught a masonry program to high school boys) brought a lifesize cutout of John Wayne to the hospital when Dad was sick...we had that sitting up front by his picture at the funeral home...it got lots of laughs.

quickWit
02-27-2010, 01:16 AM
Can you do pottery?

If I'm very careful and the pottery has had a few drinks. :D

Mr Flibble
02-27-2010, 01:16 AM
I don't want a boring funeral either. I want a pinata, music and lots of booze.


Viking long boat set ablaze and drifting off to sea while the mourners all get drunk and tell rude stories about me.

Adam
02-27-2010, 03:07 AM
My Dad died in December and he Hated (with a capital H :)) funerals. He always said that he didn't want a funeral, we should have a party, blah blah blah. Of course this wasn't practical b/c we needed a large venue to accomodate the crowd. ( we had around 1000 guests at his funeral...loved by all) Anyway, here are some of the things we did to make it less like a funeral:

We played really cheerful Christmas music instead of hymns b/c he loved Christmas
We had a Christmas tree with lights up at the front next to his ashes and picture.
We had the whole giant room filled with framed pictures of him.
We made a slideshow that was played on 3 plasmas throughout the funeral home. The music on the slideshow included "You Don't Mess Around with Jim", Dad's name was Jim
We had our priest come to the funeral home and give about a 10 minute service. After that 3 people spoke and told nothing but funny stories about Dad...we all could have sat there for hours telling those stories and laughing.
The whole service took about 30 minutes and then at least 100 people went back to my parents house where a HUGE spread, and lots of drinks of the adult variety. We sat around and laughed and cried, but mostly just told great 'Jim' stories.

Oh, also, one of his students (he taught a masonry program to high school boys) brought a lifesize cutout of John Wayne to the hospital when Dad was sick...we had that sitting up front by his picture at the funeral home...it got lots of laughs.


Now THAT'S a send off! Awesome! :D

Maxinquaye
02-27-2010, 03:18 AM
Thank you very much, but I've reserved a seat for that special event coming up soon(tm):

Armageddon Day.

I have good seats too, will get a wonderful view when the sun goes nova and engulfs the earth.

Barring that.... I want a party, and at the secular funeral, the music when they roll (or lower) me into the furnace will be "Great balls of fire (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IjgZGhHrYY)".

Rebekah7
02-27-2010, 03:50 AM
I want to be cooked up and used as the main dish at my memorial service. And I'll stipulate that no one should know this until AFTER they've eaten.

Adam
02-27-2010, 04:04 AM
I want to be cooked up and used as the main dish at my memorial service. And I'll stipulate that no one should know this until AFTER they've eaten.

:roll:

Gugland
02-27-2010, 04:07 AM
http://www2.fundeposit.com/That%20wasn%27t%20chicken%20-%20fortune%20cookie.jpg

NathanBrazil
02-27-2010, 04:09 AM
Gugland - nice.

Since some have chosen to be immortal, I choose to have my body converted to 1s and 0s and then injected directly into the internet.

I could then haunt unsuspecting users, a face rippling across the LCD and whisper inane things like -

What have you done with my toothbrush?

I-I don't have you're toothbrush.

and You really should do something about that navel hair.

KellyAssauer
02-27-2010, 06:49 AM
Unless I move further south, it will be cremation,
and it doesn't have to be any official kind either,
just get a good wood or coal fire going and toss me in...
I'm mean who's to say that Robert Service's "Sam"
wasn't short for Samantha? (McGee)

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm,
in the heart of the furnace roar;
And she wore a smile you could see a mile,
and she said: ďPlease close that door...

Itís fine in here, but I greatly fear
youíll let in the cold and stormó
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee,
itís the first time Iíve been warm.Ē

Paper & Pencil
02-27-2010, 06:52 AM
Hmmm...I think I'd like to be cremated and buried in the earth, assuming my ashes would make decent fertilizer for some tree or flower, after I've had the party-funeral, where everyone chills and has fun remembering the good times they had with me, not a depressing occasion in all black.

Heh, reminds me of a friend's idea of a funeral. I vaguely recall it involving a disco ball and his body being carried in on wires or something.

PoppysInARow
02-27-2010, 07:06 AM
Toss me to the wolves! :D

EFCollins
02-27-2010, 07:46 AM
I don't get the attraction of viewing the body, anyway. What, to verify they're really dead?

It never, ever really looks like the person anyway. After embalming and that gawd awful makeup the corpse always looks waxy to me. The corpse goes from being the former home of your loved one's essence to something more akin to something out of a poor man's Madame Tussauds.

The corpse might as well be covered with clown makeup and a half-clown suit...might as well, would be about the same effect.

You know, when my Dad passed away, the mortician did a fantastic job on him. No cake-like makeup that looked like it had to be smeared on with a putty knife. They did good. He looked fairly natural. That said, I hated seeing him lying in a casket. It made me feel like I was smothering. And when I saw it closed... yeah. It wasn't good. Can we say an extra couple valium and a sneak into hubby's old pain meds? Yes we can cause that's just what I did. I went home and got high as a kite. And stayed messed up for months upon months afterward. Seeing my Dad laying in a casket really messed with me up in mine head. So yeah, I'd rather skip it myself.

Mummify my butt and stick me a sealed crypt. Maybe I'll still be telling stories and get a hit TV show. Oh wait... that was in the eighties and nineties. Oh well. Missed opportunities.

brainstorm77
02-27-2010, 10:08 PM
It's great reading everyone's take on this.

Kitty
03-01-2010, 05:18 PM
I gotta go the whole viking funeral thing...

Well, it's sorta a cultural thing too but it's got a bit goin' for it...

If you aren't dead, you can just fling yourself into the ocean and hope you don't drown...

There's no clean up afterwards...

And the wildlife get a free feed if there's anything left :D


...and the usual booze, feasting and music...

I would advocate pillaging but really should leave that as optional extra

:e2sven:

Ambrosia
03-01-2010, 06:48 PM
Launched into space.
This ^^^^^^^^

ether
03-01-2010, 08:41 PM
Unless I move further south, it will be cremation,
and it doesn't have to be any official kind either,
just get a good wood or coal fire going and toss me in...
I'm mean who's to say that Robert Service's "Sam"
wasn't short for Samantha? (McGee)

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm,
in the heart of the furnace roar;
And she wore a smile you could see a mile,
and she said: ďPlease close that door...

Itís fine in here, but I greatly fear
youíll let in the cold and stormó
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee,
itís the first time Iíve been warm.Ē

I love that poem.

lucidzfl
03-01-2010, 09:13 PM
bury me in the backyard next to my dog.

Don Allen
03-01-2010, 09:22 PM
Slab me, tag me, bag me, fold me up and dump me...

kayleamay
03-01-2010, 10:12 PM
I remember seeing something on TV when I was a kid about a beached whale that died. They didn't know how to dispose of it so they loaded it with explosives and blew the damn thing up. That might be kind of cool. Gross, but cool.

quickWit
03-01-2010, 10:24 PM
I remember seeing something on TV when I was a kid about a beached whale that died. They didn't know how to dispose of it so they loaded it with explosives and blew the damn thing up. That might be kind of cool. Gross, but cool.

You want to be loaded into a dead whale?

Weirdo.

kayleamay
03-01-2010, 10:33 PM
Okay, so apparently this happened before I was born, but I know I watched this footage when I was a kid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBgThvB_IDQ