When you got married...

We didn'thave one, but now you have me wondering what the cake deal was at Susie's wedding.

We ordered a piece of cake at The Olive Garden. It was just what we ordered.

My first thought it that it was scripted into the show for ratings. Most are like that but my second thought is that the mother was probably paying for it and wanted the cake her way or her daughter can take the highway.

Or something like that.


But if the daughter is paying for the cake in full she should have gotten the cake her way or go to Burger King.

I find it so odd that parents who pay for weddings insist on having it done to their tastes. Those seem like the same people that pad guest lists, not with the couple's friends, but with the parent's associates, business partners, and friends they are trying to impress.

Though I can see how it would take a strong willed child to stand up to the financial backers of the wedding, especially when they are young. Shoot, we paid for ours by scrimping and saving on our own (at 30 years old), and we still had some hard conversations to deflect parental demands. Some rifts still have not healed because people forget it was my wedding, not some party that happened to have a priest and rings.

My mother was really great about the whole thing. We had one moment where we snapped and had a fight, but we got over it.

With regards to the cake, I got exactly what I wanted. It was beautiful...and delicious.

My mother couldn't be bothered to be a part of it and only showed up because it would look bad if she didn't and then she proceeded to pick apart the hat and veil I had picked out to the point of even dropping it in the store and I was so busy I didn't even notice it didn't make it to the car.

And she had to tell me all the nasty things my soon to be In-laws had to say so my entire day was ruined between her and the rest of the lot.

As for my cake, it was exactly as I wanted. I picked it out, I paid for it, I picked it up.

Not the greatest day of my life.

My mother had nothing to do with my wedding other than showing up-

One of my friends was a culinary chef at the time and very much into baking, he made me a beautiful cake and it was yummy beyond believe! The best part it was a gift-

We didn't have a big elaborate wedding-went to the JP. Some friends gave us a huge, wonderful reception, though. My mother bought, picked out, and brought the cake to the reception. I was grateful then and I'm still grateful now.

I'm unlikely to marry but if I did my first instinct would be to elope, assuming the groom was amenable. Cake? Nah. I prefer profiteroles. I think threatening to elope is an underused tactic in these discussions.

I was pretty apathetic about the cake. Make it layered, make sure there's enough for everyone, beyond that, don't care. *shrug* Just didn't seem like a big deal to me, not with all the other stress relating to that day.

Not married, but still answering.

My wedding cake will be chocolate.

The only fruit cake at my wedding will be me.

As for my mother? Even if she was still around she wouldn't be a part of the day anyway. I don't understand people who let themselves be pressganged into shit they don't want on THEIR DAY. It's got sod all to do with your family.

So saith me, who'd invite her dad, and that's it.

scarletpeaches said:

I don't understand people who let themselves be pressganged into shit they don't want on THEIR DAY. It's got sod all to do with your family.

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Amen to that. I know some people do it to keep the peace, but I wasn't really faced with the issue. My grandmother completely commandeered my mom's wedding, so my mom went out of her way to make sure my wedding was done my way. We actually planned most of it together and had a grand time doing so. The end result was a FUN wedding, which is what I wanted.

Really, the only one who tried to have their own way with my wedding was my dad. And I suppose I can't really blame him...after all, I was asking him to walk me down the aisle to "The Imperial Death March" from Star Wars, which may have been a somewhat tall order for my conservative dad. We were still arguing about it right up until the moment the music started playing. He thought everyone would be offended or whatever. Everyone loved it, the whole place was roaring with laughter, and he very quickly admitted that it wasn't as big a deal as he thought it would be.

My dad wants to walk me down the aisle but I've already told him he won't be, because it's a sign of possession, to give your daughter away. When I get married it'll be because I want to, and I'll walk down the aisle willingly.

But the 'fun' thing? Oh yeah. Chocolate cake...a bouncy castle at the reception...ushers dressed as teletubbies...anything for a laugh, while still keeping the solemnity of the occasion (yes really).

It's an important day so the ceremony should be respectful, but the reception will be one mad party if I have anything to do with it.

When I got married -

We split the cost 3 ways with my mom and my inlaws. Aside from writing the checks - neither mom nor inlaws wanted any input aside from knowing when and where to show up. They were great this way.

My cake was yellow, with chocolate mousse filling. Done the way my husband and I (well, mostly me - he didn't care, really) wanted.

Wedding was where and when we wanted. (I wanted to elope but my husband's family is HUGE and somewhat religious. I conceded to a church wedding because it was important to them and not important enough to me to fight them on it. Though, I gotta admit, I still kinda wish an Elvis impersonator officiated)

The only argument my mom and I got into was the morning of, in the salon, over whether I was wearing the veil over my face or not. She said yes, I said no. I won. The fight lasted about ten minutes and we both agreed it was a stupid thing to bicker over. I think it was last minute nerves.

My brother walked me down the aisle because I refused to let my dad (long, boring story - don't ask, cause I ain't tellin' )

All in all -it was a perfect day, even though beads kept falling off my dress, it was bustled slightly crooked because one of the buttons vanished, and I almost mooned everyone because the train was so long, I was wrapping it over my arm outside the church afterward, and kept pulling and pulling until my best friend's mom told me I'd pulled up half the skirt as well. It was the end of June and warm.

Thank God for crinolines.

Yeah, my mother-in-law had told me a story about her mother taking over her wedding plans and turning the day into something that had very little to do with the bride's wishes. I didn't realize at the time that this is fairly common. Both my mother and mother-in-law were angels and we all had a wonderful time.

As far as the cake goes, I picked it. I don't remember what it was other than it was really good. I even ate the icing, which is a very rare thing. I didn't want a miniature bride and groom on the cake, so I asked that they just put flowers on it. They forgot. When I got there and spied the completely bare cake, I said, "Um, there were supposed to be flowers on it." The caterer checked her notes, smiled at me, plucked a couple of flowers each out of my bouquet, the table's arrangement, and the altar pieces (we got married in a castle, so the reception was in the great hall right outside the chapel) and stabbed them into the top of the cake. We high-fived each other and I went about my business.

It was a really nice day.

The only thing I remember about the cake at our wedding was the way it squished through my fingers when I shoved it in my wife's face.

Pretty sure it was what we wanted, though.

My first wedding was in Jamaica, and we had whatever little white cake they gave with the ceremony.

My second wedding is going to be on a fishing boat 3 miles off shore with only my SO's favorite Captain (to do the ceremony) and son (to take pictures). So no cake, only fishing.

Alpha Echo said:

So no cake, only fishing.

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Yeah, fishcakes don't really seem a wedding-y thing.

quickWit said:

The only thing I remember about the cake at our wedding was the way it squished through my fingers when I shoved it in my wife's face.

Pretty sure it was what we wanted, though.

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I remember asking my mom if perhaps we should have gotten a different type of frosting, because damn, that stuff did NOT want to come off my glasses...

Ah well. We got some glorious pictures of the cake-smashing, so it was worth the extra lens-scrubbing.

The cake looked exactly like I wanted it to, although it was cheesecake (bleh). Three tiers, all a different flavor. Supposedly it was quite tasty.

I was as far away from a bridezilla as one can be. The first wedding dress I tried on I bought for 99.00; found bridesmaids dresses that cost my attendents 20 bucks, didn't even want to get married in a church... too much trouble, too much planning, too much money!

Hubby wanted the church wedding. He was breifly married before by the JP because his ex got pregnant on purpose. He said he wanted to do it right this time...ah...how could I say no?

My stepdaughter who is as dear to me as anyone was my flowergirl (she was four, almost five at the time). She tells everyone we *are* related, since we share so many traits, lol. What a dear!

The one thing I did insist on was the cake, lol. Devils food with buttercream icing, my favorite. This was in 1983, when no one had anything but the traditional white cake, white icing.

It was yummy!

My mother was wonderful, but my mother-in-law.... Since my MIL paid for certain things (so she could "take over," as we found out too late), she insisted we have an all white cake with white flowers and the that old-fashioned '50s-style bride and groom on top. Where the baker dug that tiny plastic couple from, I don't know.

Well, that day I was too nervous to even care.

we got married back in the hippie daze. my husband's family was in new york. we were in kansas with my family. we didn't want a ceremony at all. had some idea about pledging our love on the family homestead as the sun came up. unfortunately the family homestead was pretty much a cow pie minefield so that was out. at mom's insistence we opted for the local catholic church. my husband had a huge curly beard and my mom did talk him into trimming it into a goatee. for the pictures she said. since he was only 5'5 and weighed about 130 pounds i can see now the wisdom of her words. our three daughters have a hoot over our wedding pix to this day. i wore a lavender gingham dress trimmed with burlap, and wedgie sandals. we wanted the choir to sing "jeremiah bullfrog" as we left the church. the priest flat refused. i'm still pissed about that one. we had a reception in my grandmother's garden. an old rose was in bloom and the whole yard smelled heavenly. my cake was chocolate and vanilla with lots of white icing. made by my cousin who does this for a living still. my dad grew a beard so my husband wouldn't be the only "hippie". all in all i had things pretty much my way. my mom--a strong willed woman--was content to shut up and pay. i was pregnant and even at 108 lbs. beginning to show.---s6

It's kind of funny, isn't it? The wedding you would have now if you could plan it all over again...

I was 19 and had a perfect storybook wedding; outside with a horse and carriage and everything. But now, it wouldn't be appropriate for a woman approaching 30 (IMO--no offense to those brides planning this)

I loved it, but it would be something else entirely now.