View Full Version : Anyone care to help a query-klutz?

The Grump
02-23-2010, 02:17 AM
Okay, I have this manuscript that doesn't read too badly according to my critiquers. Only there's that little problem called a query. Help, please.

I’m seeking representation for EMMA KLOKEN, HERO -- a middle grade fantasy set in 1921, complete at 46,000 words.

Thirteen-year-old EMMA KLOKEN just knows she’s the unluckiest girl in the world.
Every time she turns around, her grandmother locks her in the broom closet before she can even think about doing something wrong. Emma wishes she was brave like her war hero father and able to stand up to her grandmother. Tell the old bat what she thinks.

When her family moves to Hardscrabble in the California Gold Country, Emma’s bad luck holds. The first girls she meets [NANCY and GLENDA] hold a grudge against her because Emma’s father ‘stole’ Nancy’s mother’s promotion. When Nancy and Glenda take Emma for a picnic in the foothills, they throw her new bike down an abandoned mine and ditch her to punish her. Trying to rescue her bike, Emma slides into the mine where she encounters GRIMM, a hobgoblin.
Grimm rescues her from the mine after she bribes him with a cheese sandwich, but Emma’s bad luck rubs off on him – according to FRITHA, a spriggen who appears in her apple tree. Emma decides to travel into Faery to rescue Grimm -- only Nancy insists on going with her because Glenda has disappeared into Faery too.

I have included the first chapter as a sample. Thank you for your consideration.

02-23-2010, 04:59 AM
You should move this to "Share Your Work" - Query letter hell. You'd get a lot more responses. :) I'm sure a Mod will be along to make the move...

The Grump
02-23-2010, 06:09 AM
As I said, I need help ... even navigating here.

02-24-2010, 01:57 AM
As I said, I need help ... even navigating here.

Have no fear--one of the Mods will move it for you.

Follow this link to the forum:
(password = vista)

The Query Letter Hell SYW thread is in there. :)