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Blondchen
02-22-2010, 09:00 AM
Thought I'd open the thread for this tonight. Here's how this will roll:

I'll post the mash-ups one at a time. Anonymously. You are then encouraged to (a) comment on the original and the continuation and (b) take guesses at who wrote what. Once each mash-up is guessed out, I'll reveal/confirm who the two contributors were then move on to the next one.

Once your original excerpt has been guessed, please feel free to post how the original scene continued. If you haven't written it, no worries. It's just fun to see how it actually goes.

The participants in the 4th Not-So-Annual Purgy Mash-Up are:

(in no particular order)

Tasmin
SteveCordero
Houndrat
InkWench
Alias Octavia
Callalily
Shveta
Hope101
Sunshine13
JustMe
Lara
Redzilla
Firedrake
Dystophil
LWalker
Suki
JennW
Sunna
HappyCamper
KBridges
Blondchen

Vespertilion
02-22-2010, 09:08 AM
*breaks out lawnchair, floppy hat, and sunblock for all the awesome*

HappyCamper
02-22-2010, 09:19 AM
*breaks out lawnchair, floppy hat, and sunblock for all the awesome*

Hey! Why didn't you join this year? :( We made such a great team *sniff*

Vespertilion
02-22-2010, 09:22 AM
Hey! Why didn't you join this year? :( We made such a great team *sniff*


I know! I love writing with you :) But with the house and all, I would have done a rush job, which isn't fair to you guys. I already have an amazing book to beta, you know ;o)

HappyCamper
02-22-2010, 09:32 AM
Haha! Okay, then. Will wave at you from the field. :)

Vespertilion
02-22-2010, 09:33 AM
I have an air horn and a giant foam finger. Guess which finger.

HappyCamper
02-22-2010, 09:39 AM
LOL! (and the threads not even "open" yet! Blonde will kill us for mucking around in here.)

dystophil
02-22-2010, 09:43 AM
*joins the muckery* Also, I just realized that I screwed up...Um... *hides*

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:05 AM
*waves* Whew, I thought I'd missed something! :D Can't wait to read the Mash-ups--YAY!

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 04:41 PM
*sets out coffee and scones*

ink wench
02-22-2010, 04:59 PM
*prepares spreadsheet for guessing*

JennW
02-22-2010, 05:08 PM
Wow it's festive in here! Can't wait to see the mash ups.:)

HappyCamper
02-22-2010, 05:11 PM
I'll probably be in dreamland when Blonde shows up, but at least I'll have something to look forward to when I wake up. *sets up mash up- tivo*:D

firedrake
02-22-2010, 05:11 PM
*prepares spreadsheet for guessing*

*readies darts and bit of paper on wall for random guessing* :D

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 05:15 PM
*readies darts and bit of paper on wall for random guessing* :D

This one. My lousy guesses are legendary. :tongue

ink wench
02-22-2010, 05:34 PM
This one. My lousy guesses are legendary. :tongueTo be fair, the spreadsheet has never helped me. But I always have one open at work anyway.

Kris
02-22-2010, 06:00 PM
*waits*

*fidgets*

*checks watch*

*fidgets*

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 06:03 PM
WAKE UP, BLOND!

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 06:19 PM
WAKE UP, BLOND!
+1!!!

Shveta
02-22-2010, 06:22 PM
*readies darts and bit of paper on wall for random guessing* :D

This. :D

Thanks for the scones, Lily! Yum! *dips in clotted cream*

Also, I hope mine doesn't come up today; I don't have the rest of my piece here at work to post for you!

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 06:35 PM
It's total bulls---t that it's 6:30 in the morning in Cali and Blond hasn't gotten up and posted the first mashup.

Where the f--k is her priorities???

Damn you, Blond!!!

Haupe
02-22-2010, 06:36 PM
Hahaha. I love you people and your dorkiness. No wonder I feel such a sense of belonging in this thread. *counts lines on spreadsheet to makes sure she included everyone this time*

Wake up, Blond!!!! <----pretty good assertiveness, huh?

Red-Green
02-22-2010, 06:50 PM
I know! I love writing with you :) But with the house and all, I would have done a rush job, which isn't fair to you guys. I already have an amazing book to beta, you know ;o)

Hey, are you implying I basically pulled 250 words out of my ass and then slapped another 250-word pimple onto someone else's hard work? Because I soooo wouldn't do that.

At half time, I'm gonna streak the field. Who's with me?

Shveta
02-22-2010, 07:09 PM
Hey, are you implying I basically pulled 250 words out of my ass and then slapped another 250-word pimple onto someone else's hard work? Because I soooo wouldn't do that.

At half time, I'm gonna streak the field. Who's with me?

I've got the camera ready for blackmail pictures. ;)

And Steve, totally. Mash-ups trump everything, including sleep!

houndrat
02-22-2010, 07:18 PM
I love that we already have 24 posts in this thread and the mash-ups won't even be up for at least another hour! :D

Haupe
02-22-2010, 07:25 PM
Another hour?? *whines, whimpers, slinks off to pour self some of Lily's non-bitter Starbucks coffee, believes again in miracles*

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 07:30 PM
http://www.binbin.net/photos/the-simpsons/hom/homer-simpson-rotating-eyes-wall-clock.jpg

eveningstar
02-22-2010, 07:45 PM
*breaks out lawnchair, floppy hat, and sunblock for all the awesome*

*sits on the non-participant lawn with Clovia*

I brought coffee & chocolate!

Tasmin21
02-22-2010, 08:22 PM
:popcorn:

Red-Green
02-22-2010, 08:31 PM
Well, I know Blond is awake. She just tweeted something. Stalker much?

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 08:32 PM
http://www.overspecific.com/userfiles/people-waiting-at-bus-stop-~-42-16795068.jpg

Haupe
02-22-2010, 08:34 PM
http://www.patientpowernow.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/waiting.gif

firedrake
02-22-2010, 08:35 PM
:poke:

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 08:37 PM
You guys are killing me.

~~~

Four a.m. Nick had to be the only person still awake. He triple-checked his inventory: Boots by the door, jerky and dried fruit on the dresser. Seed packets—his bargaining tools for starting a new life—sewn into every inch of his sweater. If the gardener knew about all the seeds he’d stolen since November, he’d never be able to look the old lady in the eyes again.

Stupid, you won’t be. No more snitching early strawberries to share with Clare while the gardener pretended not to see. No more thinking up practical jokes with Joel.

No more Clare.

Like an inventory, every lie Nick had told her for the past three months marched across his memory. Her garden. The play they were practicing for Carnival. Spice cake for her birthday. The third-floor room they’d picked out for when they were married.

His throat closed. No. No crying. Tears were for slicing onions or eating too much horseradish and he was not giving in. He pounded the stone wall with his fists.

“Ow! Stupid.” He clamped his lips shut and listened for any sound in the hall. When no one came to check on him, he allowed himself to breathe again. He got out of bed and his toes curled from the winter cold when they touched the floor.

A cloud of scents from his sweater surrounded him with every movement. Peppermint and basil. Oregano, meadowsweet, and feverfew.

Food and pocketknife in his trouser pockets. Boots laced. He blew out the lamp, lifted the latch, and closed the door behind him.

Don’t turn around. No regrets. No second thoughts.

Clare.

No. Keep walking. Downstairs and out the kitchen door.

As soon as he left the gardens, the wind tried to blow him into the river. He stuck his hands further into his aromatic sleeves and shivered. Why did he have to escape in January?

##

“What in the world could ye be thinkin,’ escapin’ in bleedin’ January?” said a voice, interrupting Nick’s reverie.

Am I going nuts? Nick wondered. Is someone reading my mind? A rustle in the laurel shrubs by the river jangled his already-fragile nerves. He froze, staring in the general direction of the voice and the noise. There was nothing there.

“Oi! Down ‘ere,” said the same raspy voice from somewhere near Nick’s ankles. He looked down and blinked in surprise. Visual elements hit him one at a time, like darts thrown at an uncomprehending dart board.

A little red hat. A wizened face. A white beard. It couldn’t be...

“Of all the ridiculous -- “ Nick stopped himself before the words were all the way out.

Facing him from between a hillock of clover and a laurel root was a garden gnome.

What does this guy want? Nick thought.

“What does I want with’ee?” the gnome said at that very moment, and Nick jumped. “That’s what you’re wonderin,’ eh? That, and can a garden gnome read your mind,” it added, with a mischievous grin.

“Can you?” blurted Nick, then wished he hadn’t. The creature simply grinned at him, baring teeth stained brown from chewing burdock root, drinking strong tea, and smoking gnomish tobacco.

There were rumors about the potent blend of tobacco mixed by the gnomes. It was said they could entrance you with it, wreathing you in a ring of smoke so pleasant and potent that you wanted nothing more than to do their bidding, however nonsensical, mischievous, or destructive it might prove.

Those were just rumors, though. Rumors he didn’t want to find out any more about, Nick suddenly decided. He made as if to go, but the gnome stepped nimbly to stand in his way.

“Well, I’ll tell ‘ee what I want with’ee,” it said. “Let’s walk and talk, shall we?” it added in a companionable tone, gesturing as if inviting Nick to continue in the direction he’d been going anyway.

Nick hesitated, then walked on, suppressing a gasp of impatience. Time was running short. The creature had better keep up with me, that’s all, he thought. Chances were it wouldn’t bother him long. Gnomes stuck close to the garden.

“As I was sayin’, I’ll tell ‘ee what I want,” said the gnome. “As you know, we gnomes are settled folk, we are. A little mischief once in a blue moon, a night of stealin' turnips, mayap -- and other than that, it’s marriage to a good local girl, work i'the garden, and smokin' tobacco and sippin' tea by the fireside every bleedin’ night for the rest of your bleedin’ life, is all!”

Nick glanced around nervously. The gnome was getting worked up. “Keep it down, will you?” he hissed. “I’m trying to escape, here. Get on with your story, if you want, but keep it quiet!”

“All right, all right, I was only sayin',” the gnome grumbled. “And as we’ve come it, ‘ere’s wot I want with’ee.”

Get on with it, thought Nick in agony.

“I’m not like other gnomes, ye see,” said the gnome, with a merry little gleam in its eye. “The settled life is not for me. That’s right, I’ve a mind to travel. I’d like to see the world before I kick.”

Nick had a sudden feeling he knew where this was going. He stopped walking and stared at the gnome as the feeling became a certainty -- a dull, leaden, dreadful certainty in the pit of his stomach. “You’re not saying....” he began. The gnome cut him off.

“Oh, aye, but I am,” it said. “Ye see ye’re the only one I’ve noticed plottin’ to leave this cursed place in the last, oh, make it eight ‘undred years or so...” The gnome gave a little chuckle, and smacked Nick on the left hip with the back of its hand--as high as the little guy could reach, Nick reasoned. “Well, that makes ye my only chance, so ye’re nominated, seconded, and fair well elected, to be me travellin’ companion! Congratulations, me boy! How does it feel?”

“Great, just great,” muttered Nick. He trudged on into the cold night, hearing the eager little footsteps of the gnome toddling eagerly behind.

Shveta
02-22-2010, 08:41 PM
Hahahaha! I'm going to guess Hope for part two and fire for part one.

Red-Green
02-22-2010, 08:42 PM
*dies laughing* And will the gnome be sending back picture post cards to document his travels? I got no fecking clue who the writers are...

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 08:42 PM
:roll: I can hear that little voice in my head! Brilliant!

ink wench
02-22-2010, 08:45 PM
lol! Awesome! I have no idea who the writers are, but I'm very intrigued by the idea of stolen seeds and what's going on in the original. And the gnome in the continuation rocks. I can totally hear the voice in my head.

houndrat
02-22-2010, 08:45 PM
BWAHAHAHA! Oh, this was a good one! The first part had this intensity, some really melodic moments, and sadness...and then BAM! Straight into fantasy and humor! FUN! :D

firedrake
02-22-2010, 08:46 PM
Gawd, that's priceless.:ROFL:

I had nowt to do with it.

I'll say Ink for first part and Lara for the second bit.

houndrat
02-22-2010, 08:47 PM
Hmmm, I think Tas did one of those. Question is, which one? :D


ETA: I really like how the first one keeps circling back to Clare--it packs a good emtional punch for barely knowing the MC. And I like the bit about the lies marching across his memory.

The gnome in the second one is so creative! Plus, his voice is fab! Plus, the second writer did a great job weaving the setting in as well.

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 08:47 PM
All right, if fire didn't do part 2, I guess Blond.

Tasmin21
02-22-2010, 08:47 PM
I have no idea who did either, but whoever did the second one has an excellent ear (eye?) for dialect. Managed to get the accent down without making it totally unreadable, and I loved it.

Haupe
02-22-2010, 08:48 PM
Nope, not me. And yes, quite a switch in tone, although they both have their own genius.

I'm really not sure of #1. I'm guessing Shveta due to it's tone, theme, and use of herbs.

I want to say suki for #2. There's a carefulness about the word choice I associate with her. Also, I know she has a wicked sense of humour that hides beneath a veil of responsibility. ;)

Bec

houndrat
02-22-2010, 08:51 PM
Hmmm, I'm guessing Hope for part one and Tas for part two. Just because.

ETA: Curses! Not either of them!

Shveta
02-22-2010, 08:53 PM
I'd love to say it was me, but sadly, I can't. Sorry. :tongue

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 09:04 PM
Lara for the second bit.

Damn, Fire's good. :D Now who wrote the first one?

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 09:05 PM
Damn, Lara's good!

Shveta
02-22-2010, 09:06 PM
Lara, that rocked.

houndrat
02-22-2010, 09:06 PM
Lily for part one!

ETA: Fire, great guess! Lara, that was FAB! :D Sooo funny!

suki
02-22-2010, 09:06 PM
Ah, Hope, you flatter me. Sadly, neither are me. And both are terrific in very different ways.

With the first, I love the sense of regret, present but not overdone. And I'm intrigued by the seeds and what's going on.

The second cracked me up - very interesting shift in tone - and yet not completely unbelievable. The garden gnome cracked me up (even if it made me think of G@ing B@vine). And I agree the dialect is fantastically done - I could hear it all and was cracking up.

And I have no ideas. This is where not reading teasers puts me at a disadvantage...

ETA: Lara, that Rocked!


~suki

Haupe
02-22-2010, 09:07 PM
Damn, Lara's good!

No shit! She was definitely high on my list alright.

I really don't know for #2 (not that I knew for #1, but you know what I mean). Sunshine?

Shveta
02-22-2010, 09:09 PM
Sunna for part one?

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 09:11 PM
LOL. That's brilliant.

Let's go down the list. I'll cross out the ones saying it wasn't them and the ones posting in this thread above since Blond did the first Mash Up. I'll assume no one is that devious to play it off that she is not the one.

Tasmin
SteveCordero
Houndrat
InkWench
Alias Octavia
Callalily
Shveta
Hope101
Sunshine13
JustMe
Lara--Part 2 (that was great!)
Redzilla
Firedrake
Dystophil
LWalker
Suki
JennW
Sunna
HappyCamper
KBridges
Blondchen

Now for Part 1? I say Justme

firedrake
02-22-2010, 09:11 PM
Damn, Fire's good. :D Now who wrote the first one?

Yay! Me!

I just had a feeling it was Lara because of the whimsical humor. It made me think of Lara's Giant Squirrel Guy.

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 09:12 PM
Lily for part one!



Houndie FTW!

Lily, feel free to post the rest of the real scene whenever. I hope it has an Irish gnome in it. :)

Does this mean I'm supposed to post another one?

Haupe
02-22-2010, 09:13 PM
Steve, lol, you can't assume that people commenting takes them out of the running. There are a few people here *cough houndrat cough* who are willing to go devious.

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 09:13 PM
Yay! Me!

I just had a feeling it was Lara because of the whimsical humor. It made me think of Lara's Giant Squirrel Guy.

Yep, I was thinking the same.

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 09:14 PM
I'm running to lunch now but I'll post the rest this afternoon.

Lara: :Hail:

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 09:14 PM
Steve, lol, you can't assume that people commenting takes them out of the running. There are a few people here *cough houndrat cough* who are willing to go devious.


Houndie FTW!

Lily, feel free to post the rest of the real scene whenever. I hope it has an Irish gnome in it. :)

Does this mean I'm supposed to post another one?

Darn you, Lily!!! Now I know people are going to be devious and screw us up.

Great job picking, Houndie, and great job to Lily as well.

Tasmin21
02-22-2010, 09:15 PM
Steve, trying to keep up with the list is going to bake your brain. Trust me. It's reduced the spreadsheet folks to tears on a few occasions.

ETA: Is occasions spelled right? It doesn't look right... *ponder* Yes, I know I could go look it up, but this is more fun.

Shveta
02-22-2010, 09:16 PM
Lily, I loved that. Lara, same for yours. As different as they both were, I'd totally read both stories! *love the seeds/herbs and the gnome!*

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 09:16 PM
By mash-up #20 you'll all be reduced to tears. Speaking of...

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 09:17 PM
Tasmin
SteveCordero
Houndrat
InkWench
Alias Octavia
Callalily--Part 1, Nick & The Gnome
Shveta
Hope101
Sunshine13
JustMe
Lara--Part 2, Nick & The Gnome
Redzilla
Firedrake
Dystophil
LWalker
Suki
JennW
Sunna
HappyCamper
KBridges
Blondchen

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 09:18 PM
Adar woke to dim light and voices, not sure for a moment where he was, but the stench of sweat from the other mercenaries in the hold reminded him. Next to him, the lieutenant and the sergeant were still arguing the Mysteries, just as they had been when Adar fell asleep.

Stepping over piles of equipment, he walked to the balcony over the cargo bay. He was tired of the smell of other men, and briefly preferred the smell of horses. One of the men called after him, “Adar, hey. Come show your trick.”

“Isn’t that horse piss about to choke you?” another one said. They were all too interested in him. Curious. It was his own fault.

“Adar, Adar.” They either didn't know or didn't care that in his native language “adar” meant "man."

He squatted down with several dozen men around him. Bringing his palms together, he clapped hard, and in the space between them, a greenish glow emanated. It grew brighter as he drew his hands apart, bright enough to read by, to signal with, but little else.

The other mercenaries called it his “trick,” and they expressed amazement or feigned indifference to it, but he assumed some of them knew it was a simple chemical reaction between a pair of phosphoretic-luminescing elements implanted in his palms. He didn’t explain it, nor did he tell them that the little demonstration was unpleasant.

From behind him, the lieutenant said, "Is it true what they say, that Adyaris don't believe in the Mysteries?"

"What Mysteries?"

The men around him laughed before falling into an awkward silence.

##

Adar waited for conversations to resume. Their interest in him faded as quickly as the glow between his hands. They dismissed it as a trick. They dismissed him as beneath them. Not one of them suspected that the glow was but a smokescreen; an obvious and harmless show to hide the true nature of the elements. By the time they understood, it would be too late.

He hunkered down in the corner directly opposite the balcony, where he could observe the entire hold. It was a scene he had imagined many times.

The mercenaries, culled from several of the less affluent and worldly provinces, were all here for the supposed purpose of fighting for the Bearer of the Mysteries. In fact, they themselves were another smokescreen, made of men too entrenched and blinded by fantasy to see their true purpose to be cover and diversion. They were here so that the lowliest among them could travel in plain sight, completely unseen.

Adar looked on as they debated their Mysteries, and which of them would be blessed with wealth or power or prowess based on his devotion to their proto-gods.

And while they debated, while they belittled, while they mocked and over-looked, Adar waited. Because when the time was right, he would take the vessel right out from under them.

He rubbed his hands together, the elements heating with the friction, as if they knew the time was near.

Soon, every one these men would answer to him, or they would die.

Shveta
02-22-2010, 09:23 PM
Ooh! I say Octavia for part one. Not sure about part two. . .Steve?

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 09:25 PM
Shveta - nope. :D

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 09:26 PM
That's excellent. They tie in well together and I love the cliff hangery thing.

No, that's not me on either.

I say Lily on the 2nd and Tas on the 1st.

houndrat
02-22-2010, 09:31 PM
Wow, those are both really well-written, too! Love the idea of the palm implants, the underlying racism, the intrigue of the Mysteries. And then two takes us into even more tension, with a great ending! Like the repetition of "smokescreen" in two, also.

Not sure who wrote either one. How about Shveta for part one and Suki for part two?

Shveta
02-22-2010, 09:33 PM
Houndie, aww, thanks, but no!

Haupe
02-22-2010, 09:33 PM
Ok. Back armed with coffee which will only make my lousy guesses come faster. ;)

Lily, glad you are going to post more. There was a lovely poignancy in your snippet.

For this piece
#1 - Ink? The combination of animals, fantasy, a violent men just seems reminiscent of her work.

#2 - Dystophil? There's a very youthful energy and resolve to this piece, although it keeps many of the same elements as in #1.

dystophil
02-22-2010, 09:33 PM
Oh I really liked the tone in this. I'm really not familiar with most people's writing here, so I'll make some wild guesses: Tas on the first and para on the second?

Loved the last line btw :D

firedrake
02-22-2010, 09:34 PM
Wow, these two tie in really well together.
I love where the second writer went with this and I loved the whole 'Mysteries' concept.

I'm saying Dystophil for #1 and Tas for #2.

Great stuff.

dystophil
02-22-2010, 09:34 PM
Nope, nothing to do with it. though it definitely made me chuckle :D

EDIT: Oh! Now I'm wondering if Ink did #1 too....

Shveta
02-22-2010, 09:36 PM
Yeah, Inky for one. :)

houndrat
02-22-2010, 09:37 PM
Ohh, yeah, I can totally see Ink for one.

And I thought about Tas for two, but wasn't sure...hmm...

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 09:39 PM
Suki for part two?

Houndie is terrifyingly good at this...

And no, Ink wasn't involved in this mash-up.

Haupe
02-22-2010, 09:39 PM
OK, if Dys isn't #2, I'll say KBridges.

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 09:43 PM
Hound hit bull's eye again with Suki for part 2.

LWalker for Part 1?

alias octavia
02-22-2010, 09:45 PM
I can't believe I've missed some already! I don't know who did the original on this one, but I really like how they pair together. You did a great job, Suki, of carrying the tone here.

houndrat
02-22-2010, 09:49 PM
Suki--awesome job! I love the sense of the MC biding his time, just waiting for the chance he knows is coming. Especially these lines:

And while they debated, while they belittled, while they mocked and over-looked, Adar waited. Because when the time was right, he would take the vessel right out from under them.

Tasmin21
02-22-2010, 09:50 PM
I didn't write either of these, but I can so totally see how I would get blamed. This does sound like something that would come out of my brain.

That said, I really like both sections, but there's a distinct change in tone for the second one. It gets darker there, while I felt that the MC in part 1 was more... I don't know. Self-conscious? Self-deprecating? Something like that.

houndrat
02-22-2010, 09:51 PM
Steve for one? Although he guessed..but maybe he's sneaky, like me. ;)

alias octavia
02-22-2010, 09:52 PM
You are right, Tas. The tone did evolve in the second part - but I liked the transition. There was something darker and more subtly sinister there.

How about Steve for #1?

ETA: darn, hound beat me to the guess!!

houndrat
02-22-2010, 09:52 PM
I didn't write either of these, but I can so totally see how I would get blamed. This does sound like something that would come out of my brain.

That said, I really like both sections, but there's a distinct change in tone for the second one. It gets darker there, while I felt that the MC in part 1 was more... I don't know. Self-conscious? Self-deprecating? Something like that.

Yeah, I agree. I felt like in the second one, the MC is more confident, and it was darker for me. That said, it sort of played off well with the idea of the MC putting on a bit of an act in the first one, for the benefit of the enemy.

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 09:57 PM
I'm sneaky (;)), but no, the first isn't me.

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 09:58 PM
Not Steve.

suki
02-22-2010, 09:58 PM
Not sure who wrote either one. How about Shveta for part one and Suki for part two?

Wow - Give Houndie the prize on part two.

And thank you to all who have commented - this was really an interesting stretch for me. I had no idea what to do, but I decided to at least try to keep the voice consistent. I'd love to see where the scene actually goes.

As for who's this is...I wondered about Steve, too. And Ink, though I see that Blond has said it wasn't Ink's...
ETA: Damn, not Steve either... Hmmm....

~suki

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:02 PM
Snork. It's totally not something I've ever seen Fire write, but I'm throwing her out there, in case she was sneaky. :D

ETA: Basically, bc I feel like everyone else who writes this kind of thing has been eliminated already.

alias octavia
02-22-2010, 10:02 PM
How about sunna for part one?

ink wench
02-22-2010, 10:04 PM
Great job on the first one, Lily and Lara!

For #2... Suki, great continuation! You really captured the style of the first. There some really interesting ideas going on in this mashup, and the writing is excellent. Thanks for guessing me. ;)

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:04 PM
Snork. It's totally not something I've ever seen Fire write, but I'm throwing her out there, in case she was sneaky. :D


ETA: Basically, bc I feel like everyone else who writes this kind of thing has been eliminated already.

ink wench
02-22-2010, 10:04 PM
Great job on the first one, Lily and Lara!

For #2... Suki, great continuation! You really captured the style of the first. There some really interesting ideas going on in this mashup, and the writing is excellent. Thanks for guessing me. ;)

alias octavia
02-22-2010, 10:05 PM
I agree, hound. I think it is someone tricking us by writing outside their genre....

OMG is it YOU?

firedrake
02-22-2010, 10:06 PM
Nope, not me.

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:07 PM
Wow - Give Houndie the prize on part two.


~suki

Ha ha, thanks. I'd say there was something kind of stylized, intellectual, and dark about the second piece that made me think of you, but if I said it, it would mean I'd totally flub it when your first one comes up. So I'm not saying that. ;)

suki
02-22-2010, 10:08 PM
Hmm...I'm thinking part one has to be something different than what the person usually writes, or from an older work. So... I guess it's guessing time. HappyCamper?

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:08 PM
I agree, hound. I think it is someone tricking us by writing outside their genre....

OMG is it YOU?

Ha ha, no not me! :D But I love how everyone remembers I was sneaky like ninja last time...*coughInkcoughcough*

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:09 PM
Hope????

Haupe
02-22-2010, 10:11 PM
Ha! I wish. Nope.

LWalker for #1? (Obviously I need to spend more time reading teasers around here.)

dystophil
02-22-2010, 10:11 PM
Redzilla?

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 10:11 PM
You guys are running out of choices...

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 10:12 PM
Redzilla?

Winner winner chicken dinner!

Haupe
02-22-2010, 10:13 PM
Winner winner chicken dinner!

Argh!!! I even thought of her but the voice didn't feel quite right. WTG, Red!

dystophil
02-22-2010, 10:13 PM
hahaha, awesome. Great job, Red :D

ink wench
02-22-2010, 10:15 PM
Ha ha, no not me! :D But I love how everyone remembers I was sneaky like ninja last time...*coughInkcoughcough**cries* I forgot all about how Houndie LIED TO ME! *runs away*

ETA: Very cool excerpt, Red! Love the palm thing!

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 10:15 PM
Great job, Red & Suki!!!

Tasmin
SteveCordero
Houndrat
InkWench
Alias Octavia
Callalily--Part 1, Nick & The Gnome (MU1)
Shveta
Hope101
Sunshine13
JustMe
Lara--Part 2, Nick & The Gnome (MU1)
Redzilla--Part 1, Adar & the Mysteries (MU2)
Firedrake
Dystophil
LWalker
Suki--Part 2, Adar & the Mysteries (MU2)
JennW
Sunna
HappyCamper
KBridges
Blondchen

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:16 PM
Argh!!! I even thought of her but the voice didn't feel quite right. WTG, Red!

OMG, ME TOO! I waffled and then discarded her as a contender. CURSES! Red is sneaky! :D

ETA: Yeah, the palm thing was awesome!

firedrake
02-22-2010, 10:16 PM
Wowza!
Brilliant match-up.

Red, your versatility scares the crap outta me.

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 10:17 PM
Great job, Red & Suki!!!

Tasmin
SteveCordero
Houndrat
InkWench
Alias Octavia
Callalily--Part 1, Nick & The Gnome (MU1)
Shveta
Hope101
Sunshine13
JustMe
Lara--Part 2, Nick & The Gnome (MU1)
Redzilla--Part 1, Adar & the Mysteries (MU2)
Firedrake
Dystophil
LWalker
Suki--Part 2, Adar & the Mysteries (MU2)
JennW
Sunna
HappyCamper
KBridges
Blondchen

OMG, you are such a lawyer.

alias octavia
02-22-2010, 10:18 PM
Awesome work, Red. It makes so much sense now, reading it over... I love this pairing.

dystophil
02-22-2010, 10:18 PM
*is grateful to Steve for the structuring help* :D

suki
02-22-2010, 10:18 PM
Red, your versatility scares the crap outta me.

I agree. I kept looking at the list and thinking, "Red?" But then I'd say, Nah and move on.

Red, excellent. I was really intrigued, and interested in knowing where you took the scene. Part of my panic was not wanting to screw up your character. LOL. Very well-done.

ETA: Steve - excellent idea to keep the running list. thanks.

~suki

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 10:19 PM
“Sit down,” Geneva ordered.

Considering there were only two chairs in the room, I didn’t know where she wanted me.
She motioned down, so I squatted to the floor.

Geneva’s sinister expression sent a chill down my spine. Dark circles ringed her eyes and her mouth twisted into an evil grin. The zombie-like look on her face revealed the monster within. I knew she was bad, but I had no idea she was this vile.

“What the hell are you doing messing around my property?” Geneva asked with not so much as a twitch of the lip.

She grabbed my arm and yanked me from the floor. A pain seared through my shoulder as if she’d pulled it from the socket. From the corner of the room, Maggie aimed the gun at Mary Jane. Once on my feet, I drew my hand back to get away from her. She gripped my arm and twisted with such force, I thought I’d throw-up on her shoes. She cackled, as I screamed out in pain. Obviously, she took pleasure in hurting me. I would have never guessed she’d be this evil. My arm ached under her hand. I twisted, but couldn’t break free. Once again, I screamed out in pain. She lurched back her arm, and landed a sucker-punch square on my jaw. Stars formed in front of my eyes. Panic had set in and I didn’t know how I’d get us away from this crazy bitch. I should’ve listened to Mary Jane and never came over here. Shoulda-woulda-coulda.

“I’m going to ask you one more time. What are you messing around my property for? Getting that house give to you wasn’t enough? Now you want mine too?”

“No. Mary Jane thought she heard a scream. We were checking on you.” I nodded and looked to Mary Jane. She nodded.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Geneva glared.

She really didn’t want me to answer that question. Yes, I thought she was stupid.

“Now, tell me the truth or you’ll be sorry.”

“It’s the truth.”

##

Geneva cranked my arm higher. “Did you hear it too?”

When a guttural, “Yes,” was wrenched from my lips, the room seemed to take a deep breath. Maggie went motionless, so still my ears filled with the sound of Mary Jane’s panting, like a steam engine on an incline. Geneva dropped my arm and took a step back. She crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head to one side.

I wanted to rub my throbbing jaw in the worst way, check my teeth; but something about Geneva’s posture said I had bigger things to worry about than dental integrity.

“Think carefully before you answer,” Geneva said in a honey-smooth voice. “What kind of scream?”

I swallowed. Jeez. What was it with me and the trick questions? “It sounded—uh—”

“Yes.” Her black eyes gleamed with unholy light.

“Like a cross between a strangled cat and a leaf blower.” I winced, expecting another blow to the face. Instead, she dropped her head forward in a sudden motion, looking for all the world like a marionette with a severed head string.

A distressed sound came from Maggie. “Sorry, Geneva, I—”

Geneva raised one hand and Maggie sputtered to silence. “Go. Just find her.”

Maggie holstered the gun and left with a curt bow. I got the impression she would have made an obeisance if Geneva looked anywhere in her direction.

After a long moment, Geneva’s head came up. She swung one of the chairs around to face us and straddled it, legs splayed so wide I’d get an eyeful of camel-toe, had I been stupid enough to look down.

I didn’t. The zombie look was back in full force.

“Well, children,” she said in a voice laced with amusement, “that noise you heard was a selfish little were-bitch coming her brains out.” She flashed an insincere smile. “Sorry about that. Question is, now that you’re here, what the fuck do I do with you?”

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:21 PM
I peg Blond for part two!

FUN FUN FUN! This one was SOOO FUN!

firedrake
02-22-2010, 10:21 PM
Creepy!
Interesting stylistic change between the two. Two went very, very dark.

I'm guessing KBridges for one and Dystophil for two

Haupe
02-22-2010, 10:25 PM
Ugh. I'm not good at this, but I'll throw this out anyway.

KBridges for #1.

Houndrat for #2.

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 10:27 PM
Blond for part 1

Clovia for part 2

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:27 PM
ETA: Love the set-up in part one---great stuff--then love the voice powerhouse in part two. Especially dental integrity and "Like a cross between a strangled cat and a leaf blower.”

Snork.

dystophil
02-22-2010, 10:28 PM
Mmm loved the mood in this :D

Seconding Hope's guess actually...

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:28 PM
Nope, not me,Hope. But thanks--I'm kind of in love with part two. :D

dystophil
02-22-2010, 10:29 PM
ETA: Nope Fire, nothing to do with that one either. Love how I get picked for the gritty though ;)

dystophil
02-22-2010, 10:29 PM
Hm, not Hound for part 2, then how about Tas?

suki
02-22-2010, 10:30 PM
Hmmm...part two I'm guessing Red.

Part one? Hmm...No idea. Sunshine?


I really like where part two took this. The first part had a more innocent feel, depsite the tone and substance. But I loved the more mature place the second bit left it. Very inetresting.

~suki

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 10:30 PM
Love the dark tone in both.

Hope--Part 1

Blond--Part 2

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 10:31 PM
Clovia for part 2

Clovia didn't even particpate!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

But Suki got the first one...

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:31 PM
Sorry,I erased my guess on part one...I have a feeling...but I'll share afterwards. ;)

ETA: Ha ha! I should have left my guess! I had JustMe and Sunshine written as my guesses for part one, then went with JustMe. But then I talked myself into thinking the chapters I read from her maybe had a character names Mary Jane, so I deleted my guess in case it was unfair. WTF? Sunshine was my second choice, though. :D

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:34 PM
And Blond? You DID do the second one, yes? I notice you aren't denying.....

suki
02-22-2010, 10:35 PM
Clovia didn't even particpate!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

But Suki got the first one...

yay for me!

And if you didn't acknowledge a correct guess on the second part, can we assume it's not any of the guesses, including you? LOL.

Ok, assuming none of the guesses on part two are right yet, I'm guessing Tas for part two.

Tasmin21
02-22-2010, 10:36 PM
I'd peg Blond for part 2, just for the "camel-toe" comment. (Though...Red would fit too... Hmm....)

alias octavia
02-22-2010, 10:37 PM
Fire for part two?

suki
02-22-2010, 10:38 PM
I'd peg Blond for part 2, just for the "camel-toe" comment. (Though...Red would fit too... Hmm....)

Yeah, Red was my first guess for the second part. But I'm taking blond's silence as eitehr all the guesses so far are wrong, or it's her and she's just not saying yet.

Blond?

~suki

firedrake
02-22-2010, 10:40 PM
Fire for part two?

Nope. :D

Haupe
02-22-2010, 10:41 PM
Duh! Sunna for part 2?

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:43 PM
BLOND! BLOND! BLOND!

Parametric
02-22-2010, 10:45 PM
Ink, for #2?

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 10:46 PM
No, it wasn't me.

BUT SOMEONE IN HERE IN TRYING TO MISLEAD YOU!!!!

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:48 PM
Lily for part two? Shit, now I'm totally confused! I sooo thought that was pure Blond!

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:50 PM
Somebody already guessed Tas or I'd go with her.

alias octavia
02-22-2010, 10:54 PM
Hope???

Haupe
02-22-2010, 10:55 PM
Hope???

Yup. *ducks*

ETA: Thanks for such a fun set-up, Sunshine! This is completely out of my genre, but it was so much fun to follow.

houndrat
02-22-2010, 10:56 PM
Hope...DUH! Snork...I figured it was either you or Lily after Blond said that, but I was totally guessing either way. NICE JOB--that was hilarious! :D Sunshine gave you a great set-up, too!

alias octavia
02-22-2010, 10:57 PM
Ha ha ha!!! Awesome work :) You gave that continuation such a nice energy, fun and bold.

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 10:58 PM
Here's how this chapter ends, Purgies. Lara gave it a 180-degree shift. I loved what she did! I am so dying to work on these books, but duty first! My mash-up was originally the back half of chapter 4, but when I finally return to this, I may just start it here because of the mystery. Anyway, this is a hibernating WIP, not touched in 2 years (wow, that long!), working title Skeletons: SPOILER: He's faking his death because he learned exactly what the Redeemers are and what he and Clare and Joel were born into and being groomed to do, like all Redeemers have done for 200-ish years.



The dark river smelled of mud and wet rocks. He squinted as the sky began to lighten and saw the first of the willows that screened the walnut trees ahead.

Clare should still be asleep.

“Stop thinking about her.”

A gust of wind caught him and he slid halfway down the riverbank.

"Great.” The mud tried to suck off his left boot. “Come on!” Sklorp. The boot came loose and he bruised his tailbone on a tree root as he overbalanced. “Ow!”

He clawed and stumbled back onto the grass. “Get up, get up. Dawn’s coming. There’s the walnut trees.”

He weaved through the trees until he found the right sapling. At least the trees blocked some of the wind. Standing on the flattest rock, he grabbed an overhanging tree branch to steady himself and jammed the shovel into the ground.

“Whoa!” His muddy boot slipped and the branch cracked under his full weight.

He held on and looked up at the damage. Couldn’t be better. That set the first part of the stage.

The shovel barely wiggled when he rocked it. He’d rubbed some frost off the grass walking around, but nothing that didn’t look normal. He dug into his pocket for the knife.

He unfolded the knife and stared at the blade.

Do it. Show some guts.

He sucked in a breath and slashed his palm. His breath hissed out. Blood welled up, and he smeared it on the corner of the rock directly under the broken branch. Then he grasped a chunk of his hair and sliced it off.

“Yuck.” It clung to his bleeding hand, but he stuck part of the clump to the smeared blood on the rock. He could see better now that the sun was nearly risen. A few hairs fell off, but that just made it look more authentic.

Now to plant the last clue. He poked the knife tip through his sleeve and tore off a strip. The broken branch leaned over the rock, and he snagged the material on the same spot he’d held earlier.

Sunrise lit the river. A black-capped chickadee whistled its two notes behind him. He balanced on the riverbank and inspected his work while he wrapped his handkerchief around his bleeding palm.

If the newspaper ever wrote about Redeemers, he bet this story would begin, ‘Nicholas the Redeemer died unexpectedly on the morning of January twenty-third. A pumpkin patch is being named in his honor.’ He tried to smile, but couldn’t manage one. Guess he wouldn’t get a moment of fame. He sighed. “Poor old Deborah.”

Stop it. She’s in the past. You’re not one of them anymore.

He looked over his shoulder at the riverbank. “Three feet here, nice and steep. Let’s get it over with.” Leading with his already-wet boot, he slid down the riverbank and splashed into the running water.

“Yow!” He jerked his foot straight into the air. “Cold cold cold!”

The sun was halfway over the horizon now. Time to go. It must be nearly six.

He plunged both legs into the water and started walking. Had to hide his footprints.

He lasted about fifty yards. By then the sun had fully risen and his fingers were turning blue. The riverbank sloped at a gentler angle here, huge tree roots protruding like crooked ladders.

He needed a rock. There—a cluster only few feet away. He splashed deeper and pried up one as big as his head. With a heave and a grunt, he tossed it onto the grass and used the roots to climb up after it.

Could he dump it here? He looked back toward his tableau, but the river had curved. Maybe a little farther. The rock stank of mud and fish and his arms ached before the sun hit the treetops.

Sweat soaked the armpits and collar of his sweater when he let it whump to the ground. Hopefully the herb bags had stayed dry.

Now for the last step. And the coldest. He pulled the robe over his head, and of course the wind picked up just then. He knelt on the grass and spread out the robe. With another grunt—his arms were sore already—he rolled the rock over it and wrapped the robe around it like a gift, double-knotting the sleeves.

One—two—three—

“Argh!” He chucked the bundle toward the middle of the river. It actually went ker-plunk but the water barely sprayed twelve inches. He thought it would’ve sent up a fountain, maybe a fish or two.

It wasn’t visible from here. He waited for the sun to shine on that section, and he still couldn’t see it. He’d thrown it four or five yards in, and he figured the river’s depth there at about five feet. The wet brown robe was just one more dark rock.

That made one hundred thirty-four Redeemers in the world today.

suki
02-22-2010, 10:58 PM
Well done, Hope. Sunshine gave you an interesting set up and you ran with it hard. I loved the levels of meaning at the end - the "evil" character revealed to have levels, and the set up expanded.

Excellent.

~suki

firedrake
02-22-2010, 10:58 PM
Bloody hell! I wouldn't have guessed that in a million years! :Wha:

Mind, the camel-toe should've been a giveaway. :D

ETA: Lily, awesome stuff!

dystophil
02-22-2010, 10:59 PM
Awesome job, Sunshine and Hope :D

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 11:00 PM
Great job, you two!

Steve, ignore any other comments, I bow to you for your tracking list.

And:TheWave: to Blond for organizing this again. It is a blast!

alias octavia
02-22-2010, 11:01 PM
Wow. Lily, love the continuation. You do a really great job using the scenery to expose the MC's state of mind. I would love to read more of this....

Sunshine13
02-22-2010, 11:01 PM
Wait a minute....Hound, ar eyou taking advantage of my absence? :P I guess HOUND.

eta: I'm seriously just confused who wrote what here btw lol.

And all the other excerpts have been awesome. Sorry for coming in so late. *thunks Hound*

Haupe
02-22-2010, 11:04 PM
A faked suicide - clever, Lily. Is this from anything you've got on sub?

ink wench
02-22-2010, 11:05 PM
Sunshine did a great job with the setup, and Hope just took it in a hilarious direction! *claps*

Lily, ooh... redeemers. Excellent!

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 11:05 PM
Great job, Justme & Hope (you dastardly person, you!!!)

Tasmin
SteveCordero
Houndrat
InkWench
Alias Octavia
Callalily--Part 1, Nick & The Gnome (MU1)
Shveta
Hope101--Part 2, Darth Geneva & Camel Toe (MU3)
Sunshine13
JustMe--Part 1, Darth Geneva & Camel Toe (MU3)
Lara--Part 2, Nick & The Gnome (MU1)
Redzilla--Part 1, Adar & the Mysteries (MU2)
Firedrake
Dystophil
LWalker
Suki--Part 2, Adar & the Mysteries (MU2)
JennW
Sunna
HappyCamper
KBridges
Blondchen

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 11:06 PM
Wow. Lily, love the continuation. You do a really great job using the scenery to expose the MC's state of mind. I would love to read more of this....


A faked suicide - clever, Lily. Is this from anything you've got on sub?

:LilLove: Thank you both! No, it's really hibernating for awhile. It's the sequel to the fantasy/spec fic/horror, and it's not standalone enough yet. *small, wistful sigh* I love my Redeemers. I'll get back to them one day.

suki
02-22-2010, 11:08 PM
Interesting continuation of the scene, Lily. Loved the last line of it. And he's got an interesting voice. Thanks for sharing it.

~suki

Sunshine13
02-22-2010, 11:15 PM
Wait, dangit people, I did not write the first one, or if I did, I musta' been smokin' some really good stuff because I don't remember writing that. Blond, help me out here, it wasn't me, right? It was Hound? She be devious, right? RIGHT? *starts to question her sanity*

And Lily, awesome!

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 11:15 PM
:LilLove: suki and Sunshine. :)

houndrat
02-22-2010, 11:17 PM
Hahaha...maybe it WAS JustMe, then! :D Bc it wasn't me...

ETA: Blond? Do we have a technical issue?

houndrat
02-22-2010, 11:18 PM
Lily...clever continuation! I like the faked suicide as well, plus the last bit about the Redeemers.

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 11:21 PM
Sorry, guys. My mistake. I'm doing too many things at once today.

The actual authors of Mash-Up #3 are JustMe and Hope101.

Sunshine13
02-22-2010, 11:22 PM
Good job ladies!!

Shveta
02-22-2010, 11:22 PM
Nice ones, JustMe and Hope. :D

Red-Green
02-22-2010, 11:22 PM
I agree. I kept looking at the list and thinking, "Red?" But then I'd say, Nah and move on.

Red, excellent. I was really intrigued, and interested in knowing where you took the scene. Part of my panic was not wanting to screw up your character. LOL. Very well-done.

ETA: Steve - excellent idea to keep the running list. thanks.

~suki

Daaaaamn!!!! My stupid computer crashed and I didn't even get to witness the guessing for mine. Very cool, suki!! And your continuation is absolutely heading in the right direction...


I'd peg Blond for part 2, just for the "camel-toe" comment. (Though...Red would fit too... Hmm....)

Me? Why I would never write such a thing. :D


Wait, dangit people, I did not write the first one, or if I did, I musta' been smokin' some really good stuff because I don't remember writing that. Blond, help me out here, it wasn't me, right? It was Hound? She be devious, right? RIGHT? *starts to question her sanity*

And Lily, awesome!

Hahaha! Christ, that sorta thing happens to me all the time. Find stuff that I don't remember writing...

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 11:23 PM
Great job. justme and hope!

suki
02-22-2010, 11:26 PM
LOL - technical difficulties are priceless.

Sunshine, your confusion cracked me up.

And Justme...see all the comments we made earlier. LOL.

~suki

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 11:26 PM
Laurel shouldered off her backpack and sat down on a large rock at the edge of the small clearing. She wanted to cry. She thought this field was going to be some way out of these never-ending woods. I’m still lost and I wonder if Mom will even notice, she thought. The long grasses waved in the wind, and Laurel wished it could point her in the right direction. Like a road, or some sign of life. Anything.

A loud buzzing disrupted her thoughts. She looked up to a glossy white face and large, unblinking eyes. What is that? The yellow and black striped body and pointed stinger protruding from the backside brought only one thing to mind – a bee. But this creature was larger than a bird. It darted in close to her. The beating wings displaced the hot air.

The gigantic bee dive bombed her position. She ducked down, dropped off the rock and rolled to her knees. Little tiny dust trails sprouted to the air as the bee swooped down again. Laurel swatted at the bee without thinking. Her hand connected with the firm body and knocked it into a new orbit. The pitch of its buzzing revved up higher and higher. Laurel scurried to the edge of the woods, shot to her feet and raised her fist.

The pulsating shiny black stinger turned to the offensive just as Laurel pummeled the giant body into the nearest oak tree. Immediately her hand began swell and throb. A small slip of paper slipped out of the fallen bee’s rear end. In tiny, swirling script it read, “Know that before the bee regenerates, it hates to be stared at.”

##

“Sweety?” a raspy woman’s voice said. “Sweety?”

Laurel’s vision cleared. A hypodermic needle perilously hovered over her forearm. Her eyes fixed on the needle tip and she jolted back, but the woman snatched her wrist.

Laurel’s eyes shot up at the woman and her unblinking gaze stared back. She was a hulking woman in a pale blue nurse’s tunic and trousers. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a tight bun and her alabaster skin shone under the florescent ceiling lights. A large, purple and black bruise rimmed the left corner of her mouth.

“Now, now, you don’t want to be acting like that again,” the nurse said. “You made such a commotion last time.”

Laurel’s right hand was wrapped like a boxer’s and her knuckles throbbed.

“I don’t like needles much myself,” the nursed confided. “But it’s for your own good. We need to check your white blood cell and CPK count to make sure the Zyprexa isn’t doing more harm than good. Okay?”

Laurel didn’t say anything.

The nurse raised a questioning brow. “Okay?” she repeated. “Why don’t you look at that nice forest poster on the wall? It’s your favorite. Your friends prefer to look away when we take blood. It makes it easier.”

Laurel’s eyes shifted back-and-forth as she scanned her surroundings. She was in a hospital room, or what looked like a hospital room. She was with a nurse. Nurse Hardy was her name. No, this wasn’t a hospital. Not a regular hospital anyway.

She was in the Ward with other kids like her. The Ward, where there was only one way to leave.

Laurel remembered she tried to leave once. They took away her shoelaces and the draw strings of her sweatpants because of it.

suki
02-22-2010, 11:27 PM
Daaaaamn!!!! My stupid computer crashed and I didn't even get to witness the guessing for mine. Very cool, suki!! And your continuation is absolutely heading in the right direction...


Yay! I read that first part like 5 times, trying to figure out where it could be going...so glad I discerned the right direction, at least. And thank you for the very cool set up. :)

~suki

justme
02-22-2010, 11:29 PM
LOL. I thought I was going nuts for a minute. Thought I imagined writing something. LOL.
Hope that was hilarious. Great job. The camel toe comment made me almost choke. This scene was from a cozy mystery I wrote. Believe it or not, no paranormal involved. Suki was right though, the main character is very innocent.

Everyone has done a great job!

Tasmin21
02-22-2010, 11:32 PM
No idea who did number 4, but I wanna know why there was a slip of paper crammed up the bee's behind!

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 11:32 PM
Holy crow, whoever continued #4 gave it a creepy turn. :scared: Just as I'm having Alice in Wonderland thoughts, too.

Sunshine for part 1 and Jenn for part 2

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 11:33 PM
Lily - nope.

Vespertilion
02-22-2010, 11:34 PM
*plunks down next to Evie. Apologizes for stealing chocolate, while stealing chocolate*

Damn! Doesn't count now, but I knew Red's! Everyone else has been a TO-tal surprise so far.

Loove the twist for MU4.

JennW
02-22-2010, 11:35 PM
Hardly any computer time for me today so I am viewing these after the fact. They are all great so far and the guesses are so funny to read, too!

ETA - thanks for the creepy vote of confidence, Lily, but it wasn't me.:)

Calla Lily
02-22-2010, 11:35 PM
Tolja I suck at guessing. *steals chocolate too*

SteveCordero
02-22-2010, 11:36 PM
No idea who did number 4, but I wanna know why there was a slip of paper crammed up the bee's behind!

LOL, I was thinking the same thing.

Part 1--Fire

Part 2--KBridges

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 11:37 PM
nope, nope, nope

Haupe
02-22-2010, 11:38 PM
The camel toe comment made me almost choke. This scene was from a cozy mystery I wrote. Believe it or not, no paranormal involved. Suki was right though, the main character is very innocent.


Oy. Sorry for destroying your cozy mystery, Rose. As you can see, I took the zombie part literally, lol.

As for this one, LOVED the scrolled writing in the first one. The second one has a wonderfully cynical sense of humour.

Going with Sunna for #2. I have no idea for #1.

Vespertilion
02-22-2010, 11:38 PM
I will take a stab and say Alias for #2.

Sunshine13
02-22-2010, 11:39 PM
Hm, interesting twist in MU4. I'm guessing KBridges for 1, and Jenn for 2? Or maybe Ink for 2. Or maybe I'm just horrible at guessing.

eta: ok not Jenn as i see above

justme
02-22-2010, 11:40 PM
Oy. Sorry for destroying your cozy mystery, Rose. As you can see, I took the zombie part literally, lol.

As for this one, LOVED the scrolled writing in the first one. The second one has a wonderfully cynical sense of humour.

Going with Sunna for #2. I have no idea for #1.

LOL. Yes, well, I can't keep all paranormal out, can I? You did a great job. I loved it.

houndrat
02-22-2010, 11:41 PM
Oh, wow, this one totally switched directions! I've got to take kids to class, but what about Lara for part one? Not sure about part two, but it was creepy--loved it!

eveningstar
02-22-2010, 11:44 PM
You know, I can *share* the chocolate, you don't have to steal.

Haven't had much time to comment but loving all the mash-ups so far! I'm terrible at guessing, so I'm staying out of the fray.

Vespertilion
02-22-2010, 11:46 PM
If someone's swatting at your hand as you shove the whole piece (of chocolate) in your mouth, it tastes better. Like someone else's fries are always better. It's true.

ink wench
02-22-2010, 11:47 PM
Oh wow. Those are really creepy in totally different ways! I suck at guessing, but I'm going to go with Lara for part 1 and Sunna for part 2.

Blondchen
02-22-2010, 11:47 PM
No correct guesses yet. Close, but not correct...

Vespertilion
02-22-2010, 11:49 PM
Then I will reverse Inky's guess and say Sunna for 1, and Lara for 2.

ETA: Or my own, and say Alias for 1.

ETAA: or stabby stab stab.

Haupe
02-22-2010, 11:50 PM
Tas for #2.

Shveta
02-22-2010, 11:51 PM
*too much work to do right now to be able to guess, but totally enjoying the others' guesses*

dystophil
02-22-2010, 11:58 PM
I'm guessing either Tas or Sunna for two..Sunshine for one?

alias octavia
02-22-2010, 11:59 PM
Good guess, er stabbing, Clovia!
Yes, I did #1.

I don't know who did the continuation but it is AWESOME.

Sunshine13
02-23-2010, 12:02 AM
Blond for 2?

Haupe
02-23-2010, 12:04 AM
Oh, Houndie for #2!

And Alias, loved that little world you set up there.

SteveCordero
02-23-2010, 12:05 AM
Great work on part 1.

For Part 2, I'd guess Ink.

firedrake
02-23-2010, 12:13 AM
Wow, I wish I had written that!

I love the descriptions in the first part and the off-kilter imagination of the writer. The second part is a very clever continuation.

I'm going with Happy Camper for part 1 and Alias for two.

houndrat
02-23-2010, 12:13 AM
Wow, Alias, I totally wouldn't have got that--what a cool little foray into sci fi there! :D Very awesome premise/set-up going on.

houndrat
02-23-2010, 12:15 AM
Not me..but I agree, maybe Tas for #2?

houndrat
02-23-2010, 12:24 AM
I am still totally snickering over Sunshine having a huge WTF? moment over the mashup attributed to her. I couldn't figure out why she asked if I was messing with her at first.

Snork. Sorry. Carry on.

:D

suki
02-23-2010, 12:25 AM
Alias, loved the set up - intriguing, and I could totally see it. And that last line cracked me up and made me want to turn the page.

As for the continuation... I was going to say sunna, but that's been guessed already... So, I'm going to guess jennW for part 2.

Tasmin21
02-23-2010, 12:27 AM
S'not me!

lwalker
02-23-2010, 12:28 AM
I say Jenn, too.

Bbl with more to say.

Vespertilion
02-23-2010, 12:29 AM
Where're all the compulsive Captains Spreadsheet? Who hasn't been guessed?

KBRIDGES for 2.

Kris
02-23-2010, 12:33 AM
All right, if fire didn't do part 2, I guess Blond.
*is super flattered*

I have no idea who did either, but whoever did the second one has an excellent ear (eye?) for dialect. Managed to get the accent down without making it totally unreadable, and I loved it.
:heart:


Hmmm, I'm guessing Hope for part one and Tas for part two. Just because.
!
*is super flattered*

Damn, Lara's good!
:heart:

Lara, that rocked.
:heart:

Lily for part one!
ETA: Fire, great guess! Lara, that was FAB! :D Sooo funny!
:heart:

Lara, that Rocked!

:heart:


[B]Lara--Part 2 (that was great!)

:heart:


I'm running to lunch now but I'll post the rest this afternoon.

Lara: :Hail:

Lily, you were a very tough act to follow-- I loved your beginning!!!! I was so intrigued by the seeds, the escape, Clare, and the poignant tone. BTW, The more in awe I am of the section I have to continue, the more I try for humor in the continuation, out of fear of not doing the original justice.

Thanks everyone for the kind words!

Haupe
02-23-2010, 12:34 AM
If I've kept track accurately, the possibilities for #2:
Steve, Inky, Lily, Shveta, Sunshine, JustMe, Red, Fire, Dys, LWalker, Happy Camper, Blond.

Okay, I'm going with Inky.

ETA: Never mind. I see Jenn was eliminated.

dystophil
02-23-2010, 12:40 AM
Just a wild guess - Was it Steve?

firedrake
02-23-2010, 12:41 AM
Not me.

Happy C for two

Calla Lily
02-23-2010, 12:43 AM
:cry: I'm outta here for like 2 hours while I go to the eye dr. (just a recheck) and make supper. Don't finish 'em all without me!

houndrat
02-23-2010, 12:46 AM
What about Blond for number two?

alias octavia
02-23-2010, 12:49 AM
Thanks for the kind words everyone! Glad I could fool you houndie - you are so good at guessing and you know all my writing patterns :)

I could see Blond for the continuation, yeah....

Haupe
02-23-2010, 12:49 AM
Argh. I'll kick myself for not saying it soon if this is right: Lily for #2.

Sunshine13
02-23-2010, 01:00 AM
I guessed Blond for 2 as well, she must be at lunch. Or, you know, working -gasp- ;)

Kris
02-23-2010, 01:05 AM
I was thinking maybe Redzilla for part 2 of MU4.

This thread is en fuego! I had a hard time catching up. Everybody is sooo good.

alias octavia
02-23-2010, 01:05 AM
I'm getting lost of reps asking me about the bee and the piece of paper that it poops out :)

This was a little writing exercise I did after a weird dream I had. In the dream I was lost in a forest that was full of giant robot animals/bugs. The dream sort of reminded me of that movie Westworld with a mad scientist/creatures that run amok bent...

I think lily is an excellent guess too.

Shveta
02-23-2010, 01:07 AM
Nobody thinks it could be me? I'm hurt. :D

lwalker
02-23-2010, 01:08 AM
Haven't had time to do much of anything but read here and there on my phone today -- wanted to pop in while I'm on an actual computer and say you guys are awesome.

I haven't guessed right about one yet, and I loved them all. I liked the ones that changed the tone in the mash-up, and I also really liked suki's effort to stay with the voice of her original. That threw me off of thinking it was hers.

Lara -- the gnome was hilarious.

Looking forward to seeing more! <3

Kris
02-23-2010, 01:10 AM
Nobody thinks it could be me? I'm hurt. :D

As a matter of fact, I thought the first part was you. But Alias had already been outed by the time I got around to posting!

The more I think, the more I think the second part is Redzilla.

houndrat
02-23-2010, 01:11 AM
Um, number two is Shveta? Do you feel better now? :D

Shveta
02-23-2010, 01:13 AM
*grin*

Sorry, just had to stir the pot. And nope, it's not me. :D

Blondchen
02-23-2010, 01:16 AM
Sorry, it's the shitticane whirling through my office today. Have we figured out #4 yet?

Blondchen
02-23-2010, 01:17 AM
Great work on part 1.

For Part 2, I'd guess Ink.

Evil. :D

houndrat
02-23-2010, 01:18 AM
STEVE!

Haupe
02-23-2010, 01:21 AM
Hahaha. Brilliant. Should have known with the sudden paucity of datasheets around.

Vespertilion
02-23-2010, 01:21 AM
You just wanted to say "paucity."

Steve, you dog, you. :D

dystophil
02-23-2010, 01:23 AM
See? I knew it! Random intuition FTW :D

Blondchen
02-23-2010, 01:23 AM
Shall we do another?

suki
02-23-2010, 01:24 AM
Shall we do another?

You have to ask?

Haupe
02-23-2010, 01:25 AM
Yeah, maybe one more before everyone goes for supper?

Kris
02-23-2010, 01:25 AM
Shall we do another?

*stamps feet, whines* Blond!!!! Stop messing with us!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SteveCordero
02-23-2010, 01:26 AM
Yep, it was me. :D Dy got it right first.

I loved the dream setting of Alias' piece and wanted to write something based on the elements in it. The stinger immediately made me think of needles. A girl abandoned by an apathetic mother made me think of how patients that are sent to a mental health facility (my wife works at one) feel. Then the other parts fell into place.

It was a joy writing that.

SteveCordero
02-23-2010, 01:27 AM
Tasmin
SteveCordero--Part 2, Crazy Laurel & The Giant Bee (MU4)
Houndrat
InkWench
Alias Octavia--Part 2, Crazy Laurel & The Giant Bee (MU4)
Callalily--Part 1, Nick & The Gnome (MU1)
Shveta
Hope101--Part 2, Darth Geneva & Camel Toe (MU3)
Sunshine13
JustMe--Part 1, Darth Geneva & Camel Toe (MU3)
Lara--Part 2, Nick & The Gnome (MU1)
Redzilla--Part 1, Adar & the Mysteries (MU2)
Firedrake
Dystophil
LWalker
Suki--Part 2, Adar & the Mysteries (MU2)
JennW
Sunna
HappyCamper
KBridges
Blondchen

alias octavia
02-23-2010, 01:28 AM
Sneaky, sneaky.
You did a great job, Steve. Loved where you took it!

Shveta
02-23-2010, 01:29 AM
Steve, you sly dog. :D Very nicely done, both of you!

Haupe
02-23-2010, 01:29 AM
Yep, it was me. :D Dy got it right first.

I loved the dream setting of Alias' piece and wanted to write something based on the elements in it. The stinger immediately made me think of needles. A girl abandoned by an apathetic mother made me think of how patients that are sent to a mental health facility (my wife works at one) feel. Then the other parts fell into place.

It was a joy writing that.

It was awesome, Steve. Totally did not get a male-writer vibe, as you can tell from my guesses, not that there's anything wrong with male-writer vibe, but--

Ok. I'll just shut up now and let Blond post.

lwalker
02-23-2010, 01:30 AM
Wow, Steve! Nicely done. I wasn't anywhere close on that one. You would have been the last one on my list.

ETA -- not that I didn't think you could have written that -- you're a great writer. Just that I really thought a woman had done that one. :)

Blondchen
02-23-2010, 01:32 AM
I gulped a lungful of the heavy air and choked up on my little steel club, preparing to swing for whatever vulnerability I could see when the trunk lid popped. But it didn't. The footsteps stopped, and I heard voices. No – not voices – a voice. Just one.

“What the hell are you doing, Jim?” he asked himself. “You're a fucking cop, for Chrissakes! You can't do this. It's murder, no matter how you look at it.”
And, you know, murder isn't exactly the sort of thing your average cop wants on his resume, I thought. My heart rate took off like Dale Earnhardt roaring out of a pit stop.

The silence outside stretched. When McClendon spoke again his voice was different – harder. If not for the slight southern accent still coming through, I might have thought he had company. Great. I've been kidnapped by Sybil the cop. Is this personality my hero or my executioner?

“It's not murder when the chief tells you to do it, stupid,” the new Jimmy voice said. “He's the boss, right? So how is this different from a general ordering a sniper to shoot a threat to national security? She's a threat to something. The chief wouldn't want her dead if she wasn't.”

The chief. The certainty that I was right washed over me like ice water. I couldn't breathe, and not because of a dwindling oxygen supply. I was a threat, all right – to the security of the little drug empire Nash had spent so much time building. It was all true. And I had gotten too close to that truth, so Jimmy out there had been sent to – I tasted acid on the back of my tongue as I thought the words – murder me.

##

I tensed, tightening my grip on the club. Nash might get away with his crimes but it wouldn’t be because I didn’t go down swinging.

But the trunk still didn’t open. I thought I heard footsteps outside. Jimmy-boy must be pacing as he kept up his noisy, internal argument.

“But you’re a cop, Jim,” the first voice—the one I began to think of as the good cop voice—said. “This isn’t war. Murder is still murder. You took a fucking oath to abide by the law. The chief doesn’t have the right to go outside it, does he? Threats are supposed to be arrested.”

A trickle of sweat ran down my forehead. Come on, good cop Jim. Arrest me, don’t kill me. Arresting me wouldn’t suit Nash’s purposes since I knew too much, but it might give me a chance to get out of Dodge.

“Shit.” The car shook. McClendon must have kicked a tire. “I don’t need the chief pissed at me though. And he’s the chief. He must know something I don’t, right?”

Fuck, this multiple personality stuff was getting annoying. If Jim couldn’t make up his mind, I was going to run out of air and it wouldn’t matter. Open the truck, Sybil, I thought. I was ready to take a swing at him just for the chance to breathe. I gulped for air and tasted my salty sweat on my lips.

As though he heard my thoughts, the latch suddenly popped and trunk flew open. The sunlight blinded me. By the time my eyes adjusted Jim had his gun pointed at my head. Shit. Bad cop had won.

“You want to tell me how you gone and pissed off the chief this time?” Jim asked.

JennW
02-23-2010, 01:33 AM
#1 - Tas
#2 - Shevta

houndrat
02-23-2010, 01:36 AM
I can't guess the first one, bc it would be cheating. But maybe Ink for part two? I loved the drama of the first scene, and thought the continuation did a great job staying faithful to it. Very nice, mystery writers! :D

Kris
02-23-2010, 01:37 AM
#1: lwalker
#2 justme

Blondchen
02-23-2010, 01:38 AM
But maybe Ink for part two?


#1: lwalker




Well shit. That didn't take long.

SteveCordero
02-23-2010, 01:39 AM
Thanks, guys.

And don't worry about saying you thought a woman wrote it. That's a good thing IMO. I prefer to be an androgynous writer considering that the reading public is primarily female.

suki
02-23-2010, 01:40 AM
I can't guess the first one, bc it would be cheating. But maybe Ink for part two? I loved the drama of the first scene, and thought the continuation did a great job staying faithful to it. Very nice, mystery writers! :D

I think I know the first one, too, but won't guess yet b/c of prior knowledge. I agree on the second one seeming very Ink-like.

ETA: Ah, and yes, Blond just confirmed Ink - nicely done, Hound. Now, for someone to guess the first part.

ETA2: Yup, I thought that Lwalkers, but probably because of critiquing her query - so, it felt like cheating.

~suki

SteveCordero
02-23-2010, 01:40 AM
Well shit. That didn't take long.

Holy smack? Ink & Hound???

lwalker
02-23-2010, 01:41 AM
Jenn, how did you not get that? Were you trying to be my decoy?

Very good, Lara. ;)

Thanks, Hound!

And wow, Ink!!! You caught the voice so well!

suki
02-23-2010, 01:42 AM
Blond, can we have one more?

lwalker
02-23-2010, 01:42 AM
Lara got it. And she didn't read it before, either!

Shveta
02-23-2010, 01:42 AM
Wow, that was fast.

Very nicely done, ladies!

SteveCordero
02-23-2010, 01:43 AM
Well, that was a record

houndrat
02-23-2010, 01:43 AM
Just wanted to add that both pieces are really voice-y and super easy to read---nicely done! :)

houndrat
02-23-2010, 01:44 AM
Holy smack? Ink & Hound???

Ha ha, no, I wasn't the first one, but I like how devious everyone thinks I am! Muahahahaha!

ETA: Steve, I agree--would never have pegged a male writer for that piece you wrote. Color me impressed! :)

Kris
02-23-2010, 01:44 AM
Well shit. That didn't take long.

One more! One more! One more!!

Something about mashup brings out the toddler in me.

Well done LWalker & Ink, by the way. I love the setup of the narrator in the trunk, and the continuation was faithful to the voice of the original -- and had the great line, "Shit. Bad cop had won."

SteveCordero
02-23-2010, 01:44 AM
Tasmin
SteveCordero--Part 2, Crazy Laurel & The Giant Bee (MU4)
Houndrat
InkWench--Part 2, Good Cop, Bad Cop (MU5)
Alias Octavia--Part 1, Crazy Laurel & The Giant Bee (MU4)
Callalily--Part 1, Nick & The Gnome (MU1)
Shveta
Hope101--Part 2, Darth Geneva & Camel Toe (MU3)
Sunshine13
JustMe--Part 1, Darth Geneva & Camel Toe (MU3)
Lara--Part 2, Nick & The Gnome (MU1)
Redzilla--Part 1, Adar & the Mysteries (MU2)
Firedrake
Dystophil
LWalker--Part 1, Good Cop, Bad Cop (MU5)
Suki--Part 2, Adar & the Mysteries (MU2)
JennW
Sunna
HappyCamper
KBridges
Blondchen