EGO

Everyone has a right to think however they want. My friends have been supportive and have never mentioned anything like this.
I do think some writers like having their ego's fed but then again so do many other people.
It varies and I don't think a whole group can be blanketed with a comment like that.

My business of selling is . . . selling. All the promotion I do, the conventions I go to, the readings I do . . . all of it is so that people know I and my books exist and I can make a living (a close second to that is because it's fun, but seriously, my main goal out there is to try to sell a few books). It has very little to do with my ego. If it did, I probably wouldn't promote half as much. Instead I'd think, "I'm so awesome, obviously people will seek me out."

But writing is my living. Surely I'm allowed to try to make money from it? I work darn hard at my living thank you very much. I'd like some financial reimbursement.

Yes I believe in what I've written, but I would hope most people in their professional lives feel pride and a sense of accomplishment in what they do. I'd also hope that they felt they were good at what they did.

As far as being a fan of someone goes, I think your friend is reacting more to the throngs of teeny bopper fans than the author herself. Truly I find screaming fans really annoying as well (and no, I have never experienced it with regards to me). But to therefore blame the artist for being popular, as if they should have done something to curb the enthusiasm . . . it's a bit odd.

Yes there are arrogant stars. There always will be. With great success can definitely come great ego. But it seems to me your friend has met a few arrogant authors (probably, to be honest, some with limited success who feel a need to prove their worth by being pompous about their abilities) and has lumped all authors as one. The authors I know are some of the most supportive, and to be honest, underrated people I've met.

I want people to buy my books. To do this, I must market, promote, sign etc. at every possible opportunity. If this makes me egotistical in some people's eyes, so be it.

I don't want any fame! Aack. I like meeting people, so promotions or conventions are cool. But I hope a writer doesn't have to want fame.

I really, really like being able to write something that gets people excited, though. That's a kind of ego, I suppose, but I want authors to have it. I want them to care what I like and write more of it

It's all in good fun/entertainment. I think it's just the nature of that element. But, hopefully folks would still buy the books if they never knew a thing about the author.

I'm going to vote "Ego" for me.

This is the first time I've said "Screw you, I'm good at this." in my life, so if that's too much for people, don't read my books, I don't care. I think of it as confidence, and it shows in my writing, so I'll allow myself to be full of myself for once.

If I'm egotistical enough, maybe they'll buy my book and burn it. Millions of copies.

I'll bring the marshmallows.

LOl I'm with Wayne on this.. As long as it sells even though burning my books would make me cry at first... then I'd eat the marshmallows

She may have a point in that, to be a writer, you have to believe that you have something to say which other people mightwant to hear. I think, however, that the publishing process is remarkably effective at crushing whatever ego you once had, unless you are one of the very few successful enough to achieve fame through writing. For most of us, there's relatively little ego-stroking taking place.

I love the process of writing stories, and that's more than enough reward for my efforts. Fortunately, I don't need to make an income from my writing, so fame isn't that big a part of the motivation to keep writing.

I'll say straight out that I am proud of my writing accomplishments. That feeds back as two important factors for further productivity in this business: confidence and experience. And in that way (confidence in particular) it has a positive impact on one's ego. But I sense the person in question was using ego more as a measure of arrogance, not pride or confidence, and arrogance is very different from what I'm talking about here.

Writing is a business for a writer. Most of us can't write to publication and then totally turn off our attention to that book and move to something else. We have to market the book in all of the ways mentioned, sometimes more. We have to try to establish a readership, and that requires we get our books and our names in front of people. But establishing a readership following isn't about ego stroking, it's about satisfaction that our work is found to be entertaining, the feedback there coming when people are willing to buy our second and subsequent books. Having fans and getting ego strokes isn't what this is all about. It's about managing to entertain, to have the skill and creativity to make readers happy so they want more. And it's about selling books to make some cash. I'm sure there are some authors who are very arrogant about their productivity. But don't automatically assume that good marketing is all about ego stroking. Far from it. Anyone who has sat/stood at a bookstore signing and watched three or four people walk buy the table for every one who stops, and who has spent three hours to sell a modest number of books, realizes that book signings, in particular, are anything but an ego (arrogance) boost. Yes, for the highly successful authors it can be, and they sell boxes of books at signings. But for the newly published author and even some midlist writers, book signings and similar forms of marketing are not nearly what some people here think.

Ray, some people are resentful of other people's success, and they sometimes show it in direct or indirect ways. The comments mentioned in your OP seem (to me) to lean in that direction. If that is wrong, the comments at least suggest the person has little experience, and some wrong ideas about what an author's responsibilities and actions are all about once that book is published. I do hope that person is successful in this business. And I hope when that success comes, she will re-visit her comments here and tell us if she still feels that same way.

People who make pizza say similar kinds of overblown things about their pizzas. I'm not seeing a huge difference. There are some pretty egotistical celebrity chefs.

It's your friend who's got the ego problem. She's projecting. If you subbed in any other career path for what she said, it wouldn't make sense.


If you're a carpenter, you make cabinets that you expect are good enough for people to buy, so you sell them. You can teach classes on woodworking, and you've probably taken your fair share. When your designs catch on, you get more interest and people seek you out because they know you've got what they want. Would it make any sense for a gifted, or even merely competent, carpenter to never make another thing in his life? Or to not sell what he does make when people need/want tables and chairs? Why shouldn't he use his skills to produce the best product he can and be happy when others agree with his assessment? Why shouldn't he have a website where people can purchase what he builds? Why should he turn Home Depot down when they want to sell his merchandise in their stores nationwide.

I think people who are bit more insecure tend to view other people's confidence as arrogant or egotistical. In a perfect world, people would truly be happy about friends' successes. In some cases, it might be fueled by jealousy; in others, I think it might be fear that if you tell someone 'good job' too much, they might just get a swelled ego and turn into an ego-monster.

I had someone make an indirect comment that my frequent Facebook posts about daily word count and agent requests were arrogant. It hurt because this person knows me and knows I am far from arrogant, but what can you do?

I think a lot of it goes back to the idea that "Anyone can write a book!". A lot of people don't really realize how much work it takes just finish the friggin' thing in the first place, let alone get an agent, a publishing contract, yadda yadda.

If authors *didn't* promote their books in this day and age, they'd never get anywhere. It's not ego, it's business.

I think I stress over the task of getting that major deal I want. I don't have time to think of fans and celebrity TV spots. Although I have been quoted as saying "fame, friends, and eight-by-ten" as being my motivation, it's really just a tongue in cheek comment. Fans and success are so far down the road that I can't be bothered thinking about it, when my books need so much editing and polishing. Granted, I won't turn my back on it, but it sure ain't number# in my life.

Tri

I'm surprised she likes you as a friend if she really thinks that. Had I been you, I'd have confronted her directly with "do you think I'm more egotistical than you because I write?". If the answer had been "yes", I'd back away from the friendship. Mostly because I've been burned by people like that before.

That kind of thinking leads people to try and bring others down, later to claim it was for their own good / they were getting too big for their boots. Some people do go over-the-top with the ego thing, but to suggest everyone in a professional is automatically that way is silly.

Cranky said:

I think a lot of it goes back to the idea that "Anyone can write a book!". A lot of people don't really realize how much work it takes just finish the friggin' thing in the first place, let alone get an agent, a publishing contract, yadda yadda.

If authors *didn't* promote their books in this day and age, they'd never get anywhere. It's not ego, it's business.

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QFT

Also, I don't know about you, but at least part of writing for an audience is the idea of being in service to that audience or reader. So...in a way, I consider the books I love to be something I was given by the author. I certainly spent a lot of time thinking about my audience and trying to give them something I could be proud of as I was writing my book.

As for the money, fame, booksigning aspects of it...I'm not about to apologize for being a good businessperson. Who says being a writer means you need to throw away any idea of making a living ?

Every action we take is connected to our ego in some manner, so writing does fall into the same judgment, but some writers enjoy the attention more than others. Of course putting a value on the fruits of our labor is egotistical, but the degree to which it is depends on the person involved. Plenty of writers seek and embrace attention, which gives a bad name to the rest of the people in the field who only care so much as they are known and appreciated for their talent. In the end, we need to understand that there's nothing wrong with being a bit selfish in this regard, so long as we aren't going beyond the realm of acceptability.

Seems to me like Ray's 'friend' has got one massive chip on her shoulder.

Sounds like your friend has a HUGE ego.

So really what she's saying is "I scorn you because you get more recognition from strangers for your work than I do for mine?" She needs an attitude adjustment STAT. Those grapes sure are tasting awful sour to her!

It sounds to me like your friend has an inferiority complex regarding her own abilities.

I've occasionally encountered an attitude that being able to write a book makes writers think they're better than people who can't. No, it means writers can string enough words together to finish a book. But I've recognised that what the person is saying is that _they_ feel inferior for not being able to do that, and it's nothing at all to do with the writer's attitude. To me, there's nothing remarkable about writing. I've done it most of my life, known a lot of other people who write, and the internet has made me well aware that there are millions of writers out there. To me, writing is nothing special - it's fun and sometimes produces fun stuff.

To someone who doesn't write, and only knows that one writer, and sees all the hoo-hah surrounding big-name writers, and yet that one writer they know is an ordinary person they've known all their life and perhaps always thought themselves equal if not better to...serious jealousy issues.

Marketing - unless you happen to have a fandom - seems designed to make writers feel wretched. Nothing like a signing where only friends and family show up...

kurzon said:

It sounds to me like your friend has an inferiority complex regarding her own abilities.

I've occasionally encountered an attitude that being able to write a book makes writers think they're better than people who can't. No, it means writers can string enough words together to finish a book. But I've recognised that what the person is saying is that _they_ feel inferior for not being able to do that, and it's nothing at all to do with the writer's attitude.

Marketing - unless you happen to have a fandom - seems designed to make writers feel wretched. Nothing like a signing where only friends and family show up...

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That sounds great to me, heh. I think I'd have maybe ten people at the reading -- less pressure!

I will agree, though, that this is definitely more to do with Ray's friend than with Ray actually behaving like a meglomaniac. The idea makes me laugh, actually. And I suspect rather strongly that's true in most cases we're talking about here. Writers I know are by turns the most insecure and confident people I know, but they aren't usually egomaniacal. There are exceptions, of course, but they're exceptions.