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kal-el
02-11-2010, 09:45 PM
My apologies. I have edited this.

EFCollins
02-11-2010, 09:46 PM
I'll let you know when I find someone other than me in my bed.

mscelina
02-11-2010, 09:49 PM
These threads and posts are getting progressively creepier. Just sayin'.

On top of that, we have numerous young writers on this board who come here to discuss writing. It is vastly inappropriate for anyone to discuss his creepy alleged sexual prowess on a forum with underage posters.

kal-el
02-11-2010, 09:53 PM
These threads and posts are getting progressively creepier. Just sayin'.

On top of that, we have numerous young writers on this board who come here to discuss writing. It is vastly inappropriate for anyone to discuss his creepy alleged sexual prowess on a forum with underage posters.


Whoops. I didn't think of that. I'm really sorry, however it was a genuine question and I don't see what's so creepy about it. Is there a forum for questions of this nature?

Ok, I added a little humour to it (and that's all it was), but I really want to raise this question.

mscelina
02-11-2010, 09:56 PM
This is a board about writing, not sexual prowess. I suggest you look for a sexual prowess board if you want to raise this question and look for answers there. At least there, all the posters will be eighteen instead of having some that are twelve or thirteen.

Perks
02-11-2010, 10:00 PM
Good lord, Kal-el. You may want to ask for this thread to be deleted. You're cobbling together quite a reputation in a short span of time.

Bubastes
02-11-2010, 10:02 PM
You're cobbling together quite a reputation in a short span of time.

And not a good one.

kal-el
02-11-2010, 10:03 PM
This is a board about writing, not sexual prowess. I suggest you look for a sexual prowess board if you want to raise this question and look for answers there. At least there, all the posters will be eighteen instead of having some that are twelve or thirteen.


I think you're getting a bit too excited over nothing.

And if you think about the question, it is a question about writing. Writing has many different effects on different people, so why is not reasonable to ask if writing can effect somebody's love life or their sexual performance?

Ok, I added a little humour to the question that you obviosuly didn't detect, but that's all it was. And if you consideer that such conversations are often raised at "Office Parties", then perhaps it's kind of understandable that I posted the question here.

kal-el
02-11-2010, 10:06 PM
And not a good one.

In my defence, I think my question is very interesting, and it's a question that some people would like to answer I'm sure.

mscelina
02-11-2010, 10:07 PM
Personally, I don't give a flying fish what you think. This isn't a question about writing.

The fact of the matter is that this is a board about WRITING. Get that? WRITING? No one here cares about whether reading had made your strokes better or how you think about the female anatomy. It's tasteless, classless and completely irrelevant--not to mention totally creepy. And regardless of what you may think, it was NOT funny. Not in the slightest. Perhaps you should read the TOS and get a better idea of what is allowed on AW and what isn't. Just a suggestion. *shrug*

If you want to improve your writing as much as you claim you do, I suggest you hop to it and WRITE. Focus your energies on that and leave the rest alone for a while.

Perks
02-11-2010, 10:08 PM
I think you're getting a bit too excited over nothing.

And you're ending up feeling defensive because quite a number of your threads end up (or beginning with) you what-ifing about sex.

Might wanna consider a cold shower or something.

EFCollins
02-11-2010, 10:10 PM
I think you're getting a bit too excited over nothing.

And if you think about the question, it is a question about writing. Writing has many different effects on different people, so why is not reasonable to ask if writing can effect somebody's love life or their sexual performance?

Ok, I added a little humour to the question that you obviosuly didn't detect, but that's all it was. And if you consideer that such conversations are often raised at "Office Parties", then perhaps it's kind of understandable that I posted the question here.

Office Party is a public forum, viewable by visitors to this board as well as registered members. My flippancy above was my way of saying I'm not answering such a question as nicely as I can. It's personally invasive, for one, and my own children often sit with me and read what my writerly friends have to say for another. Some subjects are better suited to the erotica sections, but personal experiences of a sexual nature are... a bit much.

mscelina
02-11-2010, 10:10 PM
And you're ending up feeling defensive because quite a number of your threads end up (or beginning with) you what-ifing about sex.

Might wanna consider a cold shower or something.

Word.

kal-el
02-11-2010, 10:19 PM
Personally, I don't give a flying fish what you think. This isn't a question about writing.

The fact of the matter is that this is a board about WRITING. Get that? WRITING? No one here cares about whether reading had made your strokes better or how you think about the female anatomy. It's tasteless, classless and completely irrelevant--not to mention totally creepy. And regardless of what you may think, it was NOT funny. Not in the slightest. Perhaps you should read the TOS and get a better idea of what is allowed on AW and what isn't. Just a suggestion. *shrug*

If you want to improve your writing as much as you claim you do, I suggest you hop to it and WRITE. Focus your energies on that and leave the rest alone for a while.


And I don't give a swiftly-moving monkey what you think. It was a question about writing. One you obviously didn't understand.

Read the title again, it's a perfectly reasonable question.

kal-el
02-11-2010, 10:21 PM
And you're ending up feeling defensive because quite a number of your threads end up (or beginning with) you what-ifing about sex.

Might wanna consider a cold shower or something.


What are you talking about? When have I ever been what-ifing on about sex?

mscelina
02-11-2010, 10:22 PM
No, it wasn't. The title of the thread is "Does Writing Make You A Better Lover?" The main focus of your OP was about how you've "improved" since you started writing. And, regardless of how "reasonable" you think the question was, it wasn't appropriate for a forum where some of our members are extremely young and certainly should not be exposed to the sexual ruminations of a thirty-something-year-old man.

backslashbaby
02-11-2010, 10:25 PM
I don't know kal-el from Adam, but Office Party gets fine and raunchy without him.

But we don't know you, K-E. So it is different, for now.

kal-el
02-11-2010, 10:27 PM
Office Party is a public forum, viewable by visitors to this board as well as registered members. My flippancy above was my way of saying I'm not answering such a question as nicely as I can. It's personally invasive, for one, and my own children often sit with me and read what my writerly friends have to say for another. Some subjects are better suited to the erotica sections, but personal experiences of a sexual nature are... a bit much.


Well, to be fair, your answer encouraged the topic if anything. And I don't see why you should feel like you've got to cover your tracks because somebody has gone hysterical.

And answer me this: when did I ask to hear about your's or anybody else's sexual experiences? The question was quite clear and it was quite reasonable. And you answered it.

EFCollins
02-11-2010, 10:31 PM
I didn't encourage a thing, though I do tend to think people can read an eyeroll when they see one.

This is why we use smilies, but for some reason I just didn't feel smilies were appropriate.

mscelina
02-11-2010, 10:31 PM
Yep. So reasonable that you deleted it and apologized for it. Whatever, dude. Your ceaseless clamor for attention has already gotten old. If you are incapable of seeing that what you've posted is inappropriate and tasteless, then there's really very little need to continue this conversation.

I have no more time to waste.

Perks
02-11-2010, 10:33 PM
What are you talking about? When have I ever been what-ifing on about sex?

Well, there's this one we're in now.

And this one - http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=171250 (post 23 in particular)

And this - http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4621281&postcount=24

And this - http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=170875

for starters...

and then your novels, one with a pedophile and this-


One of my novels doesn't even have a main conflict. It's just the story of a very warped, sexually frustrated man, and all the conflicts are spread thoughout the story and resolved at different times.




One of the characters' motivation is sexual though, I know that much. He likes to rape the women of the family whilst the the rest of the family are made to watch by his partner in crime.

I mean you've only got a bit over two hundred posts. It's a lot.

backslashbaby
02-11-2010, 10:39 PM
Oh. Carry on with the skewering, then. Creepy level reached, yes.

mscelina
02-11-2010, 10:41 PM
Oh. Carry on with the skewering, then. Creepy level reached, yes.

:ROFL:

kal-el
02-11-2010, 10:43 PM
No, it wasn't. The title of the thread is "Does Writing Make You A Better Lover?" The main focus of your OP was about how you've "improved" since you started writing. And, regardless of how "reasonable" you think the question was, it wasn't appropriate for a forum where some of our members are extremely young and certainly should not be exposed to the sexual ruminations of a thirty-something-year-old man.


Oh, is that right?

Well let's just leave the question aside for a moment about whether or not it's a question about writing. I think the answer to that is not only in the question, it's also obvious to anybody with an ounce of common sense who isn't experiencing a fit of rage.

I edited the post immediately when you brought to my attention what I did wrong, and all I have done since, to be fair, is try to explain to you why I made the error. I'm sorry, but we don't have too many office parties in London where youngsters are present, so perhaps this was a cultural misunderstanding too?

I would also ask you to bare in mind that I didn't swear in the opening post, or use any vulgar language. Nor did I share any of my sexual experiences (I wouldn't do that on a forum). I added what I think is some good humour to a perfectly reasonable question.

Let me tell you something -- and I don't care how many people love you on here and how many peopel hate me -- if a rational person was to read the question I raised (the question that's still in the title of this thread), it's a perfectly reasonable question about writing and human nature.

Being a writer, I'm surprised you find that so difficult to understand.

Wayne K
02-11-2010, 10:47 PM
Writing has introduced me to a lot of very interesting and wonderful women here on AW. The most important thing to have if you want to be a great lover, is respect for women. So I vote Yes. The women here have taught me a few new things about that.

kal-el
02-11-2010, 10:56 PM
Well, there's this one we're in now.

And this one - http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=171250 (post 23 in particular)

And this - http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4621281&postcount=24

And this - http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=170875

for starters...

and then your novels, one with a pedophile and this-





I mean you've only got a bit over two hundred posts. It's a lot.



I'm sorry to dissapoint you, but you're talking garbage and clutching at straws. These articles were not about me what-ifing about sex. Not at all. If they were, I doubt very much they would have raised such interesting debates.

There was a splendid piece of humour about Elton John that was sexuaul in nature, but that's about it. And I think you're totally out of line suggesting that the paedophile thread was about sex. What? So now I'm a paedophile too am I?

I know you're only trying your best to appease your infuriated friend who wants to resolve things with aggression and hostility, but perhaps she would be able to calm down quicker if you just stay out of it.

We're all adults here.

Perks
02-11-2010, 10:59 PM
Look Kal-el, if you had a bit of spinach in your teeth, you'd want someone to tell you. Well, you've got spinach between your teeth, or perhaps a shred of some green, lacy thong, I don't know. But it's how you're coming off. That's all.

kal-el
02-11-2010, 11:01 PM
Writing has introduced me to a lot of very interesting and wonderful women here on AW. The most important thing to have if you want to be a great lover, is respect for women. So I vote Yes. The women here have taught me a few new things about that.


To be a greater husband/boyfriend you may need a greater respect for women perhaps. But being a greater lover is all about going to the gym and eating good food and becoming a better athlete. That's how you become a better lover.

And reading and writing of course!

But hey, this debate is not allowed at AW, is it?

mscelina
02-11-2010, 11:09 PM
To be a greater husband/boyfriend you may need a greater respect for women perhaps. But being a greater lover is all about going to the gym and eating good food and becoming a better athelete. That's how you become a better lover.

But hey, this debate is not allowed at AW, is it?

This explains so much. Wow. just wow.

Without even a rudimentary respect for women (which is a reasonable assumption since you allow your rich ex-girlfriend to pay your bills while you play the part of a nobleman and go spend the government dole on books and some Starbucks) you will never, ever understand what it takes to be either a good lover or a good writer. To be a good writer (or lover) you have to respect your partner (and a reader is your partner) and understand their wishes, their needs, their desires. You need to have emotional insight and tender caring for how they feel, and a genuine interest in providing them with what they need.

All the weight lifting and salads in the world won't make a selfish man a good lover, just as all the posturing and "sacrifices" and "nobleman" gestures in the bookstores won't make a selfish word jockey into a good writer. All this is nothing but sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Move along, folks. Nothing else to see here.

*hits ignore button*

Wayne K
02-11-2010, 11:13 PM
To be a greater husband/boyfriend you may need a greater respect for women perhaps. But being a greater lover is all about going to the gym and eating good food and becoming a better athlete. That's how you become a better lover.

And reading and writing of course!

But hey, this debate is not allowed at AW, is it?
I didn't read anyone's post, so I don't know.

Shakesbear
02-11-2010, 11:21 PM
To be a greater husband/boyfriend you may need a greater respect for women perhaps. But being a greater lover is all about going to the gym and eating good food and becoming a better athlete. That's how you become a better lover.

And reading and writing of course!

But hey, this debate is not allowed at AW, is it?


This is one of the saddest things I have ever read.

cray
02-11-2010, 11:21 PM
Move along, folks. Nothing else to see here.




i totally disagree.





<-------------check out my avatar.

mscelina
02-11-2010, 11:23 PM
i totally disagree.





<-------------check out my avatar.

:ROFL:

Good lord, cray. How do you fit into an eight pack with that monstrosity? It's like you're sporting a "D" rear on a "AA" battery casing.

Your photoshop-fu really awes me.

cray
02-11-2010, 11:26 PM
dear dogs, celina, you don't think i'd do this to myself! gah. no way!

i think del did it in the cabaret and of course the attending mods decided that i needed more torture so we get what we have here today......a battery with a butt.

Perks
02-11-2010, 11:27 PM
This is one of the saddest things I have ever read.
I know. All that gym work falls way behind the simple act of brushing your damned teeth. Seriously, the tongue scraper is your friend.

It's not that difficult.

mscelina
02-11-2010, 11:27 PM
dear dogs, celina, you don't think i'd do this to myself! gah. no way!

i think del did it in the cabaret and of course the attending mods decided that i needed more torture.

Well, think of it this way--it could be worse. Much worse. You could have been Hello Kittied.

Wayne K
02-11-2010, 11:27 PM
dear dogs, celina, you don't think i'd do this to myself! gah. no way!

i think del did it in the cabaret and of course the attending mods decided that i needed more torture so we get what we have here today......a battery with a butt.

A buttery?

writeronfire
02-11-2010, 11:28 PM
This is an interesting thread.

Perks
02-11-2010, 11:28 PM
what we have here today......a battery with a butt.

Are you sure that's what it is? I thought it looked like a... oh nevermind. Wouldn't want to get anybody all wound up. We've had quite enough of that already.

kal-el
02-11-2010, 11:28 PM
This explains so much. Wow. just wow.

Without even a rudimentary respect for women (which is a reasonable assumption since you allow your rich ex-girlfriend to pay your bills while you play the part of a nobleman and go spend the government dole on books and some Starbucks) you will never, ever understand what it takes to be either a good lover or a good writer. To be a good writer (or lover) you have to respect your partner (and a reader is your partner) and understand their wishes, their needs, their desires. You need to have emotional insight and tender caring for how they feel, and a genuine interest in providing them with what they need.

All the weight lifting and salads in the world won't make a selfish man a good lover, just as all the posturing and "sacrifices" and "nobleman" gestures in the bookstores won't make a selfish word jockey into a good writer. All this is nothing but sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Move along, folks. Nothing else to see here.

*hits ignore button*


So basically, now you're contradicting yourself because you're taking part in a conversation that you have already expressed hatred for.

I thought you said these coversations are inapropriate for this forum? I think you better make up your mind.

Jersey Chick
02-11-2010, 11:30 PM
To be a greater husband/boyfriend you may need a greater respect for women perhaps. But being a greater lover is all about going to the gym and eating good food and becoming a better athlete. That's how you become a better lover.

And reading and writing of course!

But hey, this debate is not allowed at AW, is it?
Um. No. This is NOT what makes you a better lover. What you look like has very little impact on how good a lover you are. That's got to be one of the most shallow hypotheses I've ever heard. Only beautiful people are good lovers? Really? Is that what you're trying to say here? Because if so, I think you've really missed the mark.

The root of lover is LOVE. And that should move far beyond the physical - at least, in my opinion it does.

mscelina
02-11-2010, 11:31 PM
Are you sure that's what it is? I thought it looked like a... oh nevermind. Wouldn't want to get anybody all wound up. We've had quite enough of that already.

OH wait...is that a little bit of lacy green thong in between your teeth, Perks? You know...right...there...

*snicker*

Perks
02-11-2010, 11:32 PM
OH wait...is that a little bit of lacy green thong in between your teeth, Perks? You know...right...there...

*snicker*Most assuredly not.

mscelina
02-11-2010, 11:33 PM
Oh, my bad. It was spinach.

kal-el
02-11-2010, 11:33 PM
I know. All that gym work falls way behind the simple act of brushing your damned teeth. Seriously, the tongue scraper is your friend.

It's not that difficult.



Well, there's a lot of science that backs it up. And common sense. But please don't assume that I was saying I'm a fitness fanatic with a great body. I can tell you straight from the horses mouth that I'm not.

Perks
02-11-2010, 11:35 PM
Well, there's a lot of science that backs it up. And common sense. But please don't assume that I was saying I'm a fitness fanatic with a great body. I can tell you straight from the horses mouth that I'm not.

I'm almost 106% sure I wasn't wondering about the state of your physique.

I was being silly. As I should have been.

Jersey Chick
02-11-2010, 11:39 PM
So, you're not entirely sure, then?

Or maybe it's the spinach.

Shakesbear
02-11-2010, 11:40 PM
I'm almost 106% sure I wasn't wondering about the state of your physique.

I was being silly. As I should have been.

Maybe we should be wondering (or should that be wandering?) about the state of his psyche ...

Perks
02-11-2010, 11:41 PM
So, you're not entirely sure, then?

Or maybe it's the spinach.
I think I'm highly allergic to spinach. It's caused me to be wishy-washy in the percentages over 100.

Jersey Chick
02-11-2010, 11:41 PM
I hate when that happens.

kal-el
02-11-2010, 11:50 PM
Um. No. This is NOT what makes you a better lover. What you look like has very little impact on how good a lover you are. That's got to be one of the most shallow hypotheses I've ever heard. Only beautiful people are good lovers? Really? Is that what you're trying to say here? Because if so, I think you've really missed the mark.

The root of lover is LOVE. And that should move far beyond the physical - at least, in my opinion it does.


If anyboy thinks that a person's physical condition doesn't contribute to their desirability, sexual performance, and sex appeal, then that person obviously isn't very realistic.

Look, I think I've pissed off enough people here, and perhaps children will log into this thread. So, perhaps it should be deleted.


;)

Wayne K
02-11-2010, 11:54 PM
There are some women who look for a man with a great mind and a great personality, like my wife. And then there are women who put an emphasis on good looks and a great body...Like my wife :D

I don't judge

Jersey Chick
02-11-2010, 11:54 PM
I didn't say it didn't contribute to their desirability - which is different. But do I agree that being in top shape makes someone a terrific lover?

No. One does not equal the other. If it does for you, then it's your hangup, but that doesn't mean it's fact.

And because you say it is also doesn't make it fact.

Selah March
02-11-2010, 11:57 PM
It seems to me that if any person thinks being a better lover "is all about [your words] going to the gym and eating good food and becoming a better athlete," then that person has plainly had the misfortune of attracting extremely shallow partners, and/or is a rather superficial fellow, himself.

You have my sympathy.

eqb
02-12-2010, 12:08 AM
Well let's just leave the question aside for a moment about whether or not it's a question about writing.

Your post was not about writing. It was inappropriate. Also, very very creepy.

Mr Flibble
02-12-2010, 12:30 AM
All the weight lifting and salads in the world won't make a selfish man a good lover,

Word - I like a man with muscles, don't get me wrong. But a banging pec doesn't tell me shit about what they're like in the sack. I've been out with guys who were ripped - and useless in bed, because they either only thought about themselves ( and possibly how ripped they looked while they were at it, Bateman style) or one one occasion the steroids ( that I later found out he used) had made certain things...disappointing.

I've also dated guys who were ripped and great in bed, and guys who weren't ripped and were great in bed. A ripped bod is a bonus, nothing else - it might make me look at you twice for instance. But you could be built like Arnie in his heyday, and if your selfish / arrogant / ignorant that muscle won't help you get me into bed, or make you better when you get there.

Physique ( beyond actually being reasonably active - if the get out of puff going up the stairs, jiggy jig probably won't be much fun. Or I might get squashed) has no bearing on the things that make a man a great lover.

To think it has is...actually no, I shall hold my tongue.

As for writing making you a better lover - how? Because my fingers are stronger now?

NeuroFizz
02-12-2010, 12:30 AM
To be a greater husband/boyfriend you may need a greater respect for women perhaps. But being a greater lover is all about going to the gym and eating good food and becoming a better athlete. That's how you become a better lover.

And reading and writing of course!
I know just what you mean, but you wouldn't believe how difficult it is to get on that prick-press machine with all of the men clamoring for that instant surge of athleto-rammin' bulking.

But to take a stab(!) at the OP, I would have to disagree. Her front is too soft to properly support the paper, and she complains each time the pencil breaks through. And it gets a little impersonal with her facing away all the time even though it's easier to use her back as a tablet blotter. But everyone who has more than a toothpick countenance knows that it takes so much skin for a buff athlete to gain that pinnacle of piledrivin' ecstasty that it becomes impossible to keep a grip on a pencil, much less write with it.

But just a few more times on that machine and I'll be able to lift her right off the bed without using my hands, and boy-howdy won't she be screamin' to the high heavens then. And the thought of it makes me just want to go out and read something.

Wayne K
02-12-2010, 12:32 AM
Go on...:popcorn:

kal-el
02-12-2010, 12:35 AM
It seems to me that if any person thinks being a better lover "is all about [your words] going to the gym and eating good food and becoming a better athlete," then that person has plainly had the misfortune of attracting extremely shallow partners, and/or is a rather superficial fellow, himself.

You have my sympathy.



It's not about attracting a shallow partner when it comes to fulfilling lascivious desires, it's about attracting a partner who is appropriate and physically desirable.

Perhaps you guys should start a new thread and title it, "What makes a good boyfriend/husband?" if you're so determined to discuss long-term relationships.

And perhaps this post needs to be deleted if people can't discuss it in a mature fashion, especially if children are logging on (he hints to the moderator with a mature and thoughtful attitude).

Silver King
02-12-2010, 12:36 AM
I didn't catch the original post before it was edited, though I see it caused some discomfort among more than a few members.

We'll close this one now and move on to greener pastures.

firedrake
02-12-2010, 12:37 AM
It's not about attracting a shallow partner when it comes to fulfilling lascivious desires, it's about attracting a partner who is appropriate and physically desirable.

Perhaps you guys should start a new thread and title it, "What makes a good boyfriend/husband?" if you're so determined to discuss long-term relationships.

And perhaps this post needs to be deleted if people can't discuss it in a mature fashion, especially if children are logging on (he hints to the moderator with a mature and thoughtful attitude).

pot.kettle.black.

Silver King
02-12-2010, 01:06 AM
...And perhaps this post needs to be deleted if people can't discuss it in a mature fashion, especially if children are logging on (he hints to the moderator with a mature and thoughtful attitude).
For the record, mods do not delete threads here unless they are spam related. And they certainly never do so upon the whim of the original poster. When a discussion is started, it belongs to all members, including those who are reading along as well as folks who have responded. There's really no such thing as "my" thread, ever, and it's best to think of discussions as belonging to all of us on this site, regardless of whose idea or efforts spawned the original post.

*Reseals this one for everyone's own good.*

MacAllister
02-12-2010, 01:20 AM
I'm going to leave this closed, but I do want to thank everyone who reported the post or sent a concerned PM. Your communication lets us be much faster about catching problems and dealing with them.

(I know everyone will be shocked, shocked to discover that kal-el was previously banned under another name, for trolling.)