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View Full Version : You will never meet this woman in person.



JoeEkaitis
01-25-2010, 05:25 AM
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4061/4301700229_52c825b0d7_o.jpg

Why?

KTC
01-25-2010, 05:26 AM
she's a conglomerate. I might meet her nose in Peoria and her ear in Wichita. I might even meet her lips in Liberia.

alleycat
01-25-2010, 05:30 AM
This is her mother and grandmother.

http://news.minnesota.publicradio.org/features/2005/04/07_wurzerc_bettycrocker/images/oldnew_large.jpg

Bubastes
01-25-2010, 05:30 AM
alleycat is right. She has the same name as her mother and grandmother, too.

Devil Ledbetter
01-25-2010, 06:10 AM
I hear she is a sweet talker.

BenPanced
01-25-2010, 06:36 AM
Because I don't go introducing myself to strange women.

Strange men, on the other hand...:e2brows:

Wayne K
01-25-2010, 06:41 AM
Because she doesn't live on the bus line?

aadams73
01-25-2010, 07:49 AM
Because she's sporting a fetching set of frank 'n' beans under that red suit?

rhymegirl
01-25-2010, 07:55 AM
Because she's dead?

dgrintalis
01-25-2010, 07:56 AM
Because she's only a digital construct?

Snowstorm
01-25-2010, 08:06 AM
But can she make a mean breakfast or fantastic Super Bowl munchies?

EFCollins
01-25-2010, 08:08 AM
Hey! I have her in my kitchen. Whipped and everything. :D

kayleamay
01-25-2010, 08:28 AM
I thought this woman was really cool until she turned into a red spoon. That was just weird. One too many makeovers, me thinks.

Wayne K
01-25-2010, 08:42 AM
Because she's you, and you only do drag in private?

MissAimee
01-25-2010, 08:57 AM
Is it because she's in prison for stealing Mr. Rogers sweater?

bettielee
01-25-2010, 10:11 AM
She's agoraphobic?

Lyra Jean
01-25-2010, 10:39 AM
she makes a mean cake though and don't forget her brownies.

benbradley
01-25-2010, 10:43 AM
Because she's only a digital construct?
She might be an analog construct, made from many slide rule calculations.

Libbie
01-25-2010, 12:13 PM
She's a robot.

She's got Uncanny Valley written all over her synthetic face.

Fran
01-25-2010, 01:06 PM
Her batteries have ran out?

dpaterso
01-25-2010, 01:17 PM
IT'S A CYLON!

aadams73
01-25-2010, 01:22 PM
Ahhhh, that's why I don't recognize her: I don't use that. :D

Mac H.
01-25-2010, 02:00 PM
I'm a guy who spends too much time on the internet.

And she's a female.

So isn't it obvious why ?

sadron
01-25-2010, 02:14 PM
Who she is anyway?

EFCollins
01-25-2010, 02:22 PM
she makes a mean cake though and don't forget her brownies.

Delicious cakes... as long as it's her frosting on top. :D

maxmordon
01-25-2010, 02:41 PM
Because she's a he?

regdog
01-25-2010, 03:38 PM
She's agoraphobic?

No, no that's me and I'm real. Well sort of


My guess:
That woman is the face of Betty Crocker, a person who doesn't exist.

alleycat
01-25-2010, 03:57 PM
That woman is the face of Betty Crocker, a person who doesn't exist.
Yes, regdog, there is a Betty Crocker. She exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Betty Crocker! It would be as dreary as if there were no cats or dogs. There would be no childlike faith then, no little cupcakes with sprinkles, no chocolate cake to make tolerable this existence. We should have no brownies, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

No Betty Crocker! Thank God (or your higher power) she lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, regdog, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, she will continue to make glad the heart of childhood and fill their little tummies with empty calories.

aadams73
01-25-2010, 04:20 PM
No Betty Crocker! Thank God (or your higher power) she lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, regdog, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, she will continue to make glad the heart of childhood and fill their little tummies with empty calories.

I absolutely refuse to use any cake/cookie/pastry mixes out of a box, but I have to say I've been using the same Betty Crocker gingerbread men recipe(I think it's from her Cooky Book)for a looooong time. I think my only modification is doubling the ginger.

ETA: and I add half a cup of powdered/icing sugar.

EFCollins
01-25-2010, 08:28 PM
Betty Crocker is a great way to start kids off with simple baking, though. Letting a child whip up a cake mix lets them feel independent, gives a sense of accomplishment, helps with math skills (AAAARGGH! Fractions suck donkey balls and wouldn't be able to do them if I'd never learned to cook) and it gears them up for more difficult baking projects in the future. :)

An adult should always supervise, of course.

This is why my kids are better cooks than I am. Well, not because of Betty entirely, but she helped.

Wayne K
01-25-2010, 08:35 PM
Betty Crocker is real. That rumor was started by Mrs. Butterworth

kayleamay
01-25-2010, 08:54 PM
I absolutely refuse to use any cake/cookie/pastry mixes out of a box, but I have to say I've been using the same Betty Crocker gingerbread men recipe(I think it's from her Cooky Book)for a looooong time. I think my only modification is doubling the ginger.

ETA: and I add half a cup of powdered/icing sugar.

The boxed stuff is what it is, but I have a circa 1950 edition of the cook book that has some fairly complex recipes in it. I use if for the old candy recipes.


Betty Crocker is real. That rumor was started by Mrs. Butterworth

That is so not true. Mrs. Butterworth is just jealous because she has to get fondled by sticky-fingered kids while Betty gets to relax in a nice dark drawer.

shyne
01-25-2010, 09:26 PM
Because she is digitally enhanced

sassandgroove
01-25-2010, 09:37 PM
Yes, regdog, there is a Betty Crocker. She exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Betty Crocker! It would be as dreary as if there were no cats or dogs. There would be no childlike faith then, no little cupcakes with sprinkles, no chocolate cake to make tolerable this existence. We should have no brownies, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

No Betty Crocker! Thank God (or your higher power) she lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, regdog, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, she will continue to make glad the heart of childhood and fill their little tummies with empty calories.
Alleycat wins the interwebs today!

aadams73
01-25-2010, 10:00 PM
Aunt Jemima better be real, that's all I'm saying.

sassandgroove
01-25-2010, 10:09 PM
What about Duncan Hines?

kayleamay
01-25-2010, 10:17 PM
I've always thought the Pillsbury Dough Boy is a little bit creepy. He's fit for a horror story. Stalking around peoples houses with that rolling pin in his hand. The psychotic giggle coming from somewhere in the kitchen. Do you really want to open that cupboard? Put the soundtrack to Psycho in it and it could be a blockbuster.

regdog
01-25-2010, 10:18 PM
What about Duncan Hines?

He's a food pimp

NeuroFizz
01-25-2010, 10:19 PM
Granny Goosed her. Or maybe Max Factor. (this takes me back to grade school)

Shadow_Ferret
01-25-2010, 10:20 PM
I have her book around here somewhere. Maybe I left it in the kitchen.

BenPanced
01-25-2010, 10:40 PM
What about Duncan Hines?
Yup: he was a real person. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duncan_Hines)

And so was Chef Boyardee. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ettore_Boiardi)

Ditto on Max Factor. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Factor,_Sr.)

aadams73
01-25-2010, 10:58 PM
Duncan, the donut guy? I love his coffee!

What?

benbradley
01-25-2010, 11:45 PM
Because she is digitally enhanced
She has twelve fingers? Or does she have ten extra long fingers?

Duncan, the donut guy? I love his coffee!

What?
When I was a tween I loved his yo-yo's.