whoa there
Rainbrain, as I've followed this thread, I've had a few thoughts. But it is your last post which brings me out of the woodwork.
I understand exactly where you are. You are in the throes of creation itself. You are peaking in the writer's longing of the culmination his art. But be careful, you are being driven by this adreneline, but you are not ready to submit to an agent. Suppose some agent says yes to you immediately and there you'll be: Pulling hair, wringing hands, backhanding the cocktail in one gulp, saying ohmigod, ohmigod over and over. And there will be your manuscript: A jumbled mess hoping it's going to grow up real quick-like to become a wholly-rounded, dignified presentation. I can bet one of two things will happen: You'll embarrass yourself with the agent hemming and hawing about your unfinished, undefined, unedited manuscript; or, you'll convince yourself you can pull it off, (since you may well be the I-work-well-under-deadline-pressure type,) but instead you end up presenting a project which clearly shows its hurried and unprofessional push to acknowledgment. In both cases the agent will lose interest immediately.
However, since your manuscript is a memoir and how-to (still trying to imagine that mix) the story itself may be fascinating enough to hold interest in spite of your presentation. This is rarely the case however and I wouldn't want to take that egocentric chance. Unless you're a celebrity, most likely you really have no new or unique story which will be of interest to the reading public. It is only through their telling and their presentation that stories become new and fresh. Therein lies your power.
Some writer (can't remember who--maybe Mark Twain) said: "Writing? I hate it. I hate to write. I just like having written."
The process is hard and painful. Not only do you have to "open up a vein and bleed"--but you have to know how and when to shut the flow down, then go back and clean up the mess. I see you as still bleeding, Rainbrain.
If you are in the midst of struggling with your own editing/rewriting process, I would recommend finding someone with some editing or writing capabilites to take a look and give you feedback.
Goodluck.