View Full Version : Looking for a beta for first 3 chapters of UF

01-18-2010, 08:43 AM
Hey all,

I'm in a quandary. My story has been in the hands of a number of critiquers and I've posted the first three chapters on the Online Writers Workshop. Everybody who has read it has given me great reviews. Even the people on OWW and I've heard that they are supposedly extremely thorough and sometimes harsh in their critiques. All I seem to get are random nit-picks from people.

However, despite such positive feedback, I still keep getting rejected by agent after agent at the partials stage. One agent even rejected it saying that the writing was still too rough.

If there is anybody here who would be willing to give me their absolute honest, balls to the wall, tear it up and spit it out opinion on the first three chapters, I would be eternally grateful.

It is an urban fantasy centering around a half-demon violent crimes investigator who is commanded by Death to find the stolen soul of a devout Catholic priest.

The word-count for the first three chapters is about 8250 words, or 28 pages.

Thank you.

01-18-2010, 10:03 AM
How many pages on word?

01-18-2010, 10:19 AM
Arya, it's 28 pages in Word.

01-18-2010, 07:26 PM
I am usually very fast but I do have exams Tuesday / Wednesday and I am leaving to Florida on Thursday.

You will either receive it back later tonight, late Tuesday, late Wednesday, sometime after I get off my flight if I end up betaing you on the plane or when I return.

I would expect it before Wednesday though, I am usually fast.. I repped you my email so feel free to email me.

As far as my experience goes, I am a high school senior and a 17 year old who isn't interested in urban fantasy, maybe you will change my mind. I will be incredibly harsh unless you say otherwise.. I am agented and on submission to publishers, but again, I don't usually read urban fantasy so take my advice towards your plot with a grain of salt but my advice to your writing however you wish.

Good luck, and I will get to it as soon as I can.

01-19-2010, 03:44 AM
Thank you, Arya, I emailed you the first three chapters earlier today. I look forward to your opinion. And please, be incredibly harsh. That is what I'm looking for.

01-19-2010, 04:43 AM
If you you want a second set of eyes I'd be happy to look over it as well.

Matera the Mad
01-19-2010, 05:07 AM
You want a real honest biatch, I'm available. Plot sounds interesting.

01-19-2010, 05:23 AM
I'll take as many sets of eyes as I can get. :D

Thank you Matera and Megan.

01-19-2010, 05:32 AM
Just e-mail it to purple_snitch @ yahoo.com (without the spaces obviously) I should be able to get it done by tonight. (yay for days off!)

Matera the Mad
01-19-2010, 06:27 AM
materathemad (at) gmail (dot) com :)