View Full Version : Beta Needed For YA Fantasy

01-07-2010, 10:20 AM
Title: Angel In The Flames
Language: English
Length: Approx. 53,000 Words
Genre: YA Fantasy Sub-genre: Romance, Adventure
Disclaimer: Violence, Good-natured bantering, Humourous at times

Help Needed With: Fluidity (Does the story flow? Do the sentences flow into each other?)
Consistency (Are my character's consistent, Is my wording consistent?)
Character Development (Do my characters develop gradually, or not?)
POV (Am I switching too much? Is it too confusing?)
Plot (Are there any holes? Is it lacking something you feel should be there?)
Tolerance Level: Brutally Honest, but not rude please.

Publishing: Looking to query to agents soon and will work until its accepted. I have three others that I am beginning, two of which derive from this one but it is not a trilogy.

Basic Summary:

The death had been an accident; the war became the consequence, and a
broken heart was nothing more than collateral damage.

When seventeen-year-old Prince Castel saves a beautiful young woman
from execution he believes her to be the missing princess Rosaline.
What he doesn’t know is that she is in fact Rosaline’s cousin,
Persephone, who is on a mission to inform her relatives of her
cousin’s death.

Along the way, Castel and Persephone catch wind that Rosaline's
widowed husband is running the country through fire and sword, killing
hundreds of innocent people. Upon arrival at her relatives, she and
Castel find everyone dead. It is then that Persephone finds she is no
longer able to hold onto the comfort of her cousin's identity if she
wants to unmask the murderer of a nation.

Torn between loyalty to his country and the love of a woman, Castel
must fight to defend his land, restore the peace and protect the one
he holds so dear.

Please PM me or post to the thread if interested, even if it's only to read the first few chapters to see if it's something you'd like.

Thanks a bundle! :)

You can find Chapter Excerpts and Part of the Synopsis here: http://kaigal.webs.com/

01-13-2010, 02:04 PM
Hey Kaigal. I gave the excerpts a read on your site and they seem interesting. If you need a beta reader still give me a yell. :)