Write Badly, Well

We are all familiar with those rules of how to write like "don't use the passive voice" and "don't use adverbs," which are always accompanied by sample sentences the look like they were made up by an English teacher still awake after a night out with the local frat boys, while such rules are always qualified by statements like "Don't use the passive when it makes more sense to use the active," which of course pretty much negates the whole point of the rule, as we could summarize by saying "Use the most appropriate language, always," and be done with it, so I propose that we all write some sentences which abuse some sort of grammar to the point where it becomes ridiculous and then we can all all write a new rule which can be foisted on the future freshmen of the world, such as "Don't use an absurd amount of connectives when you really should be starting new sentences," and now it's your turn to play.