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View Full Version : Write Badly, Well



ChristineR
01-02-2010, 01:24 AM
We are all familiar with those rules of how to write like "don't use the passive voice" and "don't use adverbs," which are always accompanied by sample sentences the look like they were made up by an English teacher still awake after a night out with the local frat boys, while such rules are always qualified by statements like "Don't use the passive when it makes more sense to use the active," which of course pretty much negates the whole point of the rule, as we could summarize by saying "Use the most appropriate language, always," and be done with it, so I propose that we all write some sentences which abuse some sort of grammar to the point where it becomes ridiculous and then we can all all write a new rule which can be foisted on the future freshmen of the world, such as "Don't use an absurd amount of connectives when you really should be starting new sentences," and now it's your turn to play.

Terie
01-02-2010, 01:28 AM
Or we could just qoute yours. Because you done it so good. And what's the point anyway chickie.

Cyia
01-02-2010, 01:32 AM
Like, OMG, you should never, ever, ever be like totally overly chatty with your voice because it like totally sux. Kthxbai.

Maxinquaye
01-02-2010, 01:38 AM
It means nowt, like, those rules.

Rules are like crap yer knaa.

Divven't worry aboot rules and yez'll be alreet. Just gan and think that they are all guidelines like.

smcc360
01-02-2010, 03:50 AM
The rules, that are actually guidelines, aren't not rules in the most technicality sense... because their guidelines, as opposing to Rules which are More ironcladded.

And for this reasons are why descussions of teh rules are most often de-railed, irregardless of they're authors best intention's. (Witch is what the Road to hell are paved with): best intentions.

Thuslike: The rules are to be followed, unless they conflict with the best intentions of the author.

Matera the Mad
01-04-2010, 12:30 AM
their guidelines? not our guidelines? :tongue

kaitie
01-04-2010, 11:56 AM
"Using dialogue tags other than 'said' is an automatic rejection," the literary agent uttered.

"But, my English teacher in middle school told us 'said' was boring and uncreative!" I shouted back demonstratively.

"I'll also reject you for using adverbs in your dialogue tags," the literary agent bellowed angrily.

"But adverbs show my wide vocabulary and make me sound smarter than all the other Harry Potter fanfic writers!" I cried beseechingly.

"I'll let you in on a secret," the agent whispered secretively, "I enjoy writing Harry Potter fanfic, too."

"No way!" I exclaimed excitedly. "Maybe we can be writing buddies!"

"I don't think so," the agent ejaculated sarcastically, and then punched me painfully in my pretty but pouty nose.



Okay, so it's lame, but that was fun. :) I'll try to think of something better later.

gothicangel
01-04-2010, 02:13 PM
It means nowt, like, those rules.

Rules are like crap yer knaa.

Divven't worry aboot rules and yez'll be alreet. Just gan and think that they are all guidelines like.

If I didn't know better, I would say you're a Geordie!

Maxinquaye
01-04-2010, 02:42 PM
Lol!

No.

I just got a geordie character that I'm having fun with, and this thread is about rules. Don't write in dialect. :)

gothicangel
01-04-2010, 04:49 PM
Well, your convincing enough!

Etola
01-05-2010, 11:40 PM
Always, always profread.