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Matera the Mad
12-22-2009, 10:24 AM
All I want for Christmas is a tera-pack of nanomachines that consume household mold so I can stop being sick and tired all the time.

Cassiopeia
12-22-2009, 10:27 AM
Dear Santa

I'd like a man. A real live man, to fall madly in love with and him with me and to live happily ever after.

Can't have that? How about a job! That'll do. :D

P.H.Delarran
12-22-2009, 10:28 AM
Dear Santa,
dark chocolate please, but only one pound, so I still have room for ham.

JoNightshade
12-22-2009, 10:28 AM
Dear Santa,

Just bring me a truckload of Junior Mints. They're probably cheaper if you buy them in bulk anyway.

jennontheisland
12-22-2009, 10:29 AM
I'd like tuition for the next 4 years please. Since I just got into Engineering. !!!

BenPanced
12-22-2009, 10:33 AM
Dear Santa:

Bring me an agent next year or Rudolph gets it. :e2chain:

No pressure!

bettielee
12-22-2009, 10:38 AM
Dear Santa

I would like a hot chocolate machine and a nicer kitty. :)

Cassiopeia
12-22-2009, 10:43 AM
I'd like tuition for the next 4 years please. Since I just got into Engineering. !!!PM to remind me that I need to send you a list of sites for scholarships and grants. :D

jennontheisland
12-22-2009, 10:46 AM
PM to remind me that I need to send you a list of sites for scholarships and grants. :D
But are they Canadian? ;)

Cassiopeia
12-22-2009, 10:49 AM
But are they Canadian? ;)I'm not sure if these are exclusively for US Citizens or not. But I'll tell you what...I know someone in Toronto, she's awesome and she'll know where I can point you in the right direction.

I might not be Santa, but I do have connections. :D

jennontheisland
12-22-2009, 10:52 AM
I'm not sure if these are exclusively for US Citizens or not. But I'll tell you what...I know someone in Toronto, she's awesome and she'll know where I can point you in the right direction.

I might not be Santa, but I do have connections. :D

Well, don't you just rock the casbah!

PMing...

Silent Rob
12-22-2009, 01:48 PM
Dear Santa,

I'd like my mince pie back. It wasn't for you.

Love Rob

Samantha's_Song
12-22-2009, 01:51 PM
Dear Santa,

For Christmas I'd like Jean Reno, please, and for him to cum up my chimney, again, and again, and again.

Thank you!

Fran
12-22-2009, 04:55 PM
Dear Santa,

I would like my TEFL certificate so I can skip off to France and start a new life. And if you happened to litter my path with hot Frenchmen I won't complain. :D

Love,
Fran x

Seams
12-22-2009, 05:00 PM
Dear Santa

if you cut back on those cookies, you'd have more room for toys...just saying

Rarri
12-22-2009, 05:05 PM
Dear Santa,

I would like a todder-proof kitchen and an Emma Bridgewater Aga. Please? (Oh, and some RSJs for the kitchen floor, to support the Aga.)

There will be homemade mince pies and Guinness by the fireplace on Christmas Eve :D

Silent Rob
12-22-2009, 05:36 PM
Dear Santa,

By leaving so many lumps of coal in childrens' stockings, you are perpetuating our reliance on fossil fuels.

You are a bad man.

Sincerely,

Rob.

PS. I heart you.

Wayne K
12-22-2009, 06:44 PM
Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is world peace. I don't care how many people have to die for me to get it.

tjwriter
12-22-2009, 06:49 PM
Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is time to write in relative peace. And someone to help out with dinner a few nights a month.

XOXOXO,

TJ

Mr Flibble
12-22-2009, 07:15 PM
Dear Santa

I have been a good girl all year* and I would like a baby oil jacuzzi with a naked Karl Urban in it.

Thanks.

IRU


*Stop giggling! I have, honest.

Kitty
12-22-2009, 07:15 PM
Dear Santa,

I'd like a guilt free, all expense paid holiday. I'm not too fussy where. Just make sure it isn't too cold and the men are willing.

thanks :D


p.s. umm...if I could add clean...nuffin' worse then sweaty, stinky, feral men :tongue

Shadow_Ferret
12-22-2009, 07:26 PM
Dear Santa,
Job recovery would be nice. And if I could be carried along in that tide and become gainfully employed, well, all the better.

Your friend,
Ferret

Dicentra P
12-22-2009, 07:28 PM
Dear Santa,

I would like a todder-proof kitchen and an Emma Bridgewater Aga. Please? (Oh, and some RSJs for the kitchen floor, to support the Aga.)

There will be homemade mince pies and Guinness by the fireplace on Christmas Eve :D

Even Santa can't toddler proof a kitchen.

Dicentra P
12-22-2009, 07:30 PM
Dear Santa,
Job recovery would be nice. And if I could be carried along in that tide and become gainfully employed, well, all the better.

Your friend,
Ferret

I'm with this. And if you get a really good one for hubby Shadow Ferret can have mine.

Williebee
12-22-2009, 07:34 PM
Dear Santa,

I'm good, thanks.

But if you could hook the old guy next door up with some curtains for his bedroom window? That'd be great. Might help keep the heat in. He looks... cold.


/Williebee

Williebee
12-22-2009, 07:34 PM
(Oh, and some RSJs for the kitchen floor, to support the Aga.)

wuh.. huh?

Mela
12-22-2009, 07:43 PM
Dear Santa,
I'll take an agent, too. Or two. And a publisher. And an advance.
I'd really like another laptop so I don't have to share with husband.
World peace - although that might be tough for you. Maybe a big globe and a peace sign.
And I'd like a way to drop 20 pounds.
A nice rug for the living room that is cat proof so when she throws up on it it won't discolor.
Um ....
a new cell phone would also be nice.
Oh ... and a new car so I can ditch the 2001 Altima that now has 175,000 miles on it. I'm not picky. I'll take a cube.

Jobs for the jobless.
Homes for the homeless.
Food for the hungry.

clues for the clueless ...

Rarri
12-22-2009, 07:44 PM
Even Santa can't toddler proof a kitchen.

But... But... Nooooooooo! :cry:


wuh.. huh?

Reinforced Steel Joist. To sustain the weight of the Aga (http://www.greatbritishcookers.co.uk/Aga/CelebrityDesign.aspx?gclid=CJ-k_8mw6p4CFU0A4wod1nXaIQ) :D

If Santa can't toddler proof my kitchen, can i at least have a king size bed for more peaceful rest after coping with the kitchen that can't be toddler proofed?

Fran
12-22-2009, 08:53 PM
Even Santa can't toddler proof a kitchen.

:eek: You are the crusher of dreams. :D

Dear Santa,

I have been MUCH better behaved* than IRU so please send me her baby oil jacuzzi but put Johnny Messner in it instead.

Thanks!
Fran x

*not really through choice but I maintain it still counts.

Shadow_Ferret
12-22-2009, 09:02 PM
Reinforced Steel Joist. To sustain the weight of the Aga (http://www.greatbritishcookers.co.uk/Aga/CelebrityDesign.aspx?gclid=CJ-k_8mw6p4CFU0A4wod1nXaIQ) :D

If Santa can't toddler proof my kitchen, can i at least have a king size bed for more peaceful rest after coping with the kitchen that can't be toddler proofed?

So, an AGA is like an oven with tiny doors that provide absolutely no useful purpose?

As far as toddler proofing, just one word of advice, keep those giant quart cans of chicken broth either on the floor or way up high. Never put them on a shelf at toddler level.

DeleyanLee
12-22-2009, 09:05 PM
An Aga is a wonderful cooking device that I'd even learn how to cook to be able to own. *drool*


Dear Santa,

I'd like the time and energy to finish the novel I'm working on. Oh, and puppy-training for my housemate's dogs so I don't kill them and lose my happy home.

Tully-flavored egg nog & Rice Krispie treats are waiting for you.

--Dele

Rarri
12-22-2009, 09:22 PM
So, an AGA is like an oven with tiny doors that provide absolutely no useful purpose?

As far as toddler proofing, just one word of advice, keep those giant quart cans of chicken broth either on the floor or way up high. Never put them on a shelf at toddler level.

Agas are wonderful creations! Not only are they marvellous for cooking (and big, for that matter), they look fantastic. Especially the Emma Bridgewater one :tongue Though i know someone who has an Aga that is simply pink...

Ha ha, i'll keep that in mind; todays challenge was keeping the wee one from taking a banana cake (that had just come out the oven) from the cooker top.

Mr Flibble
12-22-2009, 09:24 PM
I have been MUCH better behaved* than IRU

I call bollocks!

Fran
12-22-2009, 10:08 PM
I call bollocks!

Oh, yeah? Oh, YEAH?! Well we'll see who gets the jacuzzi on Friday... ;)

Mr Flibble
12-22-2009, 10:11 PM
Oh, yeah? Oh, YEAH?! Well we'll see who gets the jacuzzi on Friday... ;)

YEAH! :D

I'll let you have the jacuzzi if I can have Karl Urban. I've got an catering sized jar of mayo here that'll substitute quite well for the baby oil.....

Fran
12-22-2009, 10:18 PM
YEAH! :D

I'll let you have the jacuzzi if I can have Karl Urban. I've got an catering sized jar of mayo here that'll substitute quite well for the baby oil.....

I barely know who Keith Urban is, far less what he looks like! I'll be off to Google! You're more than welcome to him. Pass the Messner, em, mayo. :tongue

Kaiser-Kun
12-23-2009, 03:42 AM
Dear Santa,

please let me sit in your lap longer.

barbilarry
12-23-2009, 05:27 AM
A four wheel drive b.i.g truck. Any brand will do, but please make it a pink one.

writeronfire
12-23-2009, 05:33 AM
Dear Santa,

please let me sit in your lap longer.

Yeah. Now that's a good wish. :)

Silver King
12-23-2009, 05:49 AM
Yeah. Now that's a good wish. :)
Dear Santa,

Is that a candy cane in your pocket, or has writeronfire been sitting in your lap too long?

Please respond ASAP!

barbilarry
12-23-2009, 05:58 AM
Dear Santa,

Is that a candy cane in your pocket, or has writeronfire been sitting in your lap too long?

Please respond ASAP!

*tee hee*

som1luvsmi
12-23-2009, 06:13 AM
Dear Santa,

Having been a very good girl all year(stop snickering!), I'd like to ask you for one small, tiny, eency-weency favor.




I'd like a million dollars, please.




I'll be very good with it, I promise.
And I'll even save a few dollars for a rainy day. :)

Yours truly,
Sarah
XOXO

DWSTXS
12-23-2009, 06:16 AM
Dear Santa,

Please bring me a new butt. . .mine has a crack in it.

barbilarry
12-23-2009, 06:22 AM
*tee hee* I can fix that for ya???

amlptj
12-23-2009, 12:24 PM
Dear Santa

Can you make one of my characters real so i can marry him! (if that too hard)

I'll settle for a 4.0 gpa and the next 4 years of college payed for.

ad_lucem
12-23-2009, 06:46 PM
Dear Santa,

It would be really wonderful if you could show up with presents this year. I have to admit, I'm tired of picking up your slack. Although, eating the cookies left out for you is always a nice treat.

P.S. If you do show up, don't let the reindeer eat the "reindeer food" the kids left in the yard. I'm pretty sure it's nothing but glitter and sawdust...and I don't want to be responsible for any damages to the deer. Who wants Santa, PETA, 1/3 of the world's population, and the ASPCA on their butt?

Thanks.

Wayne K
12-23-2009, 07:27 PM
Dear Santa,

I have to say that I'm mortified that you treated Rudolph that way to begin with, and thank god he isn't gay.

Wicked
12-23-2009, 08:04 PM
Dear Santa,

Please hold the storm another 30 hours. I have to get my husband from the airport. He's all I want for Christmas.

XXX
Wicked

Wayne K
12-23-2009, 09:01 PM
Dear Santa,

I want Wicked to get what she wants as my present. I'm good.

Alright, I'll take a beer.

barbilarry
12-23-2009, 09:03 PM
Jane hands Wayne a beer and gives him a hug. You are so sweet.

writeronfire
12-23-2009, 09:03 PM
Dear Santa,

Is that a candy cane in your pocket, or has writeronfire been sitting in your lap too long?

Please respond ASAP!

I enjoyed giving Santa a candy cane.

Wayne K
12-23-2009, 10:47 PM
Dear Santa,

Thank you :D

Fran
12-23-2009, 11:45 PM
Dear Santa,

I'd like some of what Wayne's got going on in his avvie. :D

Love,
Fran x

Kaiser-Kun
12-24-2009, 02:57 AM
Dear Santa,

please STOP watching me all the time with the excuse of naughty or nice, you sick pervert.

groovyville
12-24-2009, 04:46 AM
Dear Santa,

What I want for Christmas is a chance to run into see an old friend of mine who lives in Kentucky that I miss quite a bit (I know it's a hard thing to do considering I live in NJ, but still that's what I want).

That or a nice digital camera ;)

Paper & Pencil
12-24-2009, 06:43 AM
Dear Santa,

While it would be wonderfully helpful to have either a caring boyfriend, close best friend, or ps3 with the newest Final Fantasy, I will go ahead and ask that you instead get my nephew a new ps2 so he can enjoy his games

ellisnation
12-24-2009, 07:00 AM
Dear Santa,

WINE. RED. NO HANGOVER.

Thank you.

kayleamay
12-24-2009, 07:59 AM
Dear Santa,

I would like to ask for world peace for Christmas, but I think we both know that's never gonna happen. So, instead I would just like to ask for chocolate and booze. Think you can handle that fat man? If that's too much than just leave me the booze. And yeah, I know I don't deserve it, but that rotten little bastard that lives next door didn't deserve a BMW at age sixteen either, yet there it sits with a big obnoxious bow on top.

P.S. I still have not forgiven you for leaving me that awful doll that crapped it pants and cried until the batteries went dead on my 10th Christmas. I wanted a damn Tonka truck but you're a sexist pig so you gave me the doll instead. You're just lucky I didn't file a lawsuit, buddy. Whiskey. Single malt. Make it snappy.

Sincerely,

Red



JUST KIDDIN' FOLKS...AND SANTA...HEHEHEHEHEHE....(INSERT JAZZ HANDS EMOTICON HERE)...HOLD YOUR FIRE.....I'M JUST A JOKIN'!!!!

Angie
12-24-2009, 08:07 AM
Dear Santa:

All I want for Christmas this year is a pellet gun with a good strong air cartridge and an unlimited supply of pellets. I'm pretty sure I can take out the neighbor's obnoxious, seizure-inducing, flashing light display that looks like it was designed by rabid chipmunks on crack. One bulb at a time, with a good belt of something alcoholic in between, and this will be the best Christmas in memory.

I might even consider refraining from booby-trapping the roof this year if you can come through for me on this.

All the best,
Angie xoxo

Matera the Mad
12-24-2009, 08:45 AM
Oh, don't tempt me. I have the gun and the pellets. :D

Fran
12-24-2009, 04:22 PM
Dear Santa,

I'm off to Tesco (monolithic supermarket) soon and it'd be quite nice if you could make sure everyone else in the whole west coast of Scotland isn't there too. I know this is an early Christmas present request, but as explained upthread I've been an innocent angel all year so I deserve it.

Love,
Fran x

BenPanced
12-27-2009, 01:13 AM
Dear Santa,
Job recovery would be nice. And if I could be carried along in that tide and become gainfully employed, well, all the better.

Your friend,
Ferret
*looks at Ferret's avatar and imagines tug-of-war between ferret and Santa*

som1luvsmi
08-23-2010, 07:34 AM
Dear Santa,
I'm writing to you early so that you'll have plenty of time to shop around for the perfect present. I'd like to preface my request by reminding you that I haven't asked for anything for myself in a very long time, so hopefully that has earned me some points in my favor. :)

Santa, this year, for Christmas, I'd like a man.
But not just any man will do.
He must have a sexy accent (Irish or Scottish is preferred), between the ages of 25-45, reasonably to very good-looking, and taller than 5'6". A sense of humor is a must, intelligent, honest, and likes kids. Someone who loves books and music would be lovely. And he must live in the Los Angeles or Southern California area.
No bow necessary.
I'm sure a few other details might arise during your search, so please feel free to email me with any questions you might have.
I'd like to take a moment to remind you that I've been very good this year, as is evident by certain people still remaining in one piece.

Thank you very much for your time and future effort.
Warmest regards,
Sarah


P.S.- if said man cannot be found in time for Chritmas, I will settle for an old school typewriter in working condition.

Devil Ledbetter
08-23-2010, 04:23 PM
Dear Santa,

Please convince My Morning Jacket to bring their Tennessee Fire concert to Michigan. If that's not possible, just have Dead Confederate and Alberta Cross to play here. I'll buy my own tickets.

Also, please make Eddie stop writing lame theme songs for even lamer movies.