I don't see what the problem is, and I object to being stereotyped.
You Might Be A Gun Nut If...
MOVIES
~you can't remember the plot of the last movie you saw, but you can name the model, caliber and finish of every firearm in the movie.
~you reflexively count the number of shots fired by every weapon in the film, then gripe to your friends when the actors exceed the magazine capacities.
~you watch The Matrix and wonder how they got Czech Skorpions to fire 5.56mm.
~it bothers you more when 007 runs out of ammo than when the BOND girl dies.
~your only criteria for renting a video is what guns it might have in it.
~while watching the movie "Terminator 2" you have to leave the room in tears and mournful sobs after Arnold Schwarzenegger throws the CAR-15 off the moving tractor trailer and it goes bouncing away~.
~your friends refuse to see ANY films containing firearms with you.
WIFE/FAMILY
~you have spent more on guns in the last 6 months than you did on your wife's engagement ring.
~your fiance didn't want a ring, she wanted an M1 carbine. And, you bought her one.
~you use a lathe to turn a nice ring from the appropriate size case. You engrave it with a few hearts and then nickel plate it and add gold inlay. She'll love you for having the "personal" touch, being careful with the family money, and from knowing you'll be able to keep her guns in tiptop shape.
~you let your wife go out and blow all kinds of money on junk she'll never use just so she won't gripe when you buy that latest piece you really need for your collection.
~your mother-in-law asks what new gun junk you want for Christmas this year.
~you have Trijicon Night-lights in your bedroom.
~your teenage daughter's next date is introduced to you while you're sitting at the loading bench cleaning your Browning 1919A4 machine gun.
~your wife wants to wear black leather so you buy her a carry holster.
~your gun safe cost more then your dining room set.
~you get rid of the microwave to make room for the brass tumbler.
~your kids want their guns color powder coated for Christmas, so you do.
~your wife/girlfriend starts using Hoppes No. 9 instead of perfume to get your attention.
~you use Hoppes No. 9 as a room or carpet freshener.
~you think a shotgun wedding is what happens when a fellow gets overly fond of his 12 gauge.
~your kid's huggies come in camo battlepacks.
~your wife threatened to leave you after finding 400 muddy shotshells soaking in the bathtub for the tenth time.
~you go to a marriage counselor, he asks you which you like better, shooting or sex, and you think it's the stupidest question you've ever heard.
GUN SHOP/GUN SHOW
~you buy a gun at a shop only to find out you used to own it a couple of years ago.
~the largest gun store in your area *calls* you if they need something they can't get elsewhere.
~when buying a new gun, you plead with your gun shop to keep it until you have space for it.
~factories ask *you* how well their guns hold up.
~you shoot enough Berdan-primed ammo that you are on a first-name basis with your local scrap metal dealer.
~you are on a first-name basis with every major tire shop owner within a 25-mile radius, for the lead.
~Keith Francis (at JGS, the chambering reamer company), answers your phone calls "What have you dreamed up *this* time?"
~you own a firearm listed in the Guinness book.
OTHER
~you put a Hogue Grip on your car's parking brake
~you use a .32-20 case for a pen cap.
~you know the difference between 5.56 and .223.
~you understood the previous reference and why it's so funny.
~every time one of your friends goes to buy a new gun they check with you first, since you've probably had one already, and because they know you have ammo and gun parts sitting around for guns you no longer own.
~at gun shows, dealers ask you to help them field strip guns they don't know about.
~if the Bible you read every night before bed is the Shooter's Bible.
~you take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.
~you wash your hands BEFORE taking a dump so you can take a piece of your collection in with you and not get salty sweat on the blue.
~you make $25 per hour at work, but spend 30 minutes on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of 40 S&W brass.
~you have to decide the difference between a gun nut and a firearms enthusiast? Is it 1,000 rounds per day or week?
~you could identify on sight all rifle bolt-faces as in - "that's a Ruger, that's a Savage, that's a Winchester .."
~you can identify gunshots from faraway as to caliber, whether from a rifle or pistol, brand of gun, grains of powder used, *what* powder and at what speed! Then you realize you can tell if it is blued or stainless.
~you work for the military and have more shooting experience then the guys in uniform you work with.
~you have a callus on your shoulder.
~you're in the National Guard, and they can't figure out why every time they send you out to shoot the M240B with 100 rounds, you return with a shot-out barrel. It never dawns on them you're bringing your own ammo.
~you have a bigger ammo budget than SEAL Team Six.
~you spend more time choosing which guns to bring with you on a trip, as well as holsters, and belts, than it does to pick out the clothes you will wear.
~you approach total strangers and ask if they're going to keep their brass.
~friends and family ask what you want for Christmas "Other than gun stuff."
~and you can't think of anything.
~you've ever run out of memory cards photographing your guns for insurance purposes.
~you try taking one big 'family photo' of your gun collection, but just can't fit them all in one frame.
~if you install a speed dialing device on your gun safe.
~you own a BAYONET for a gun you haven't bought yet.
~the custom door lock pulls on your Jeep are .223 Rem cases and the gear shift knob is a .50 BMG.
~you have guns in your safe that you can't for the life of you remember how you came by.
~you buy ammo when it's on sale, figuring you can buy a gun in that caliber later.
~years in history are inextricably linked to firearms development in your head. 1860... 1903... 1911... 1921... 1941... 1957... etc.
~when you hear "Winchester Cathedral", you think of the "church of shooting".
~you start wondering if you should spread out your ammo boxes to more evenly distribute the weight on the floor.
~you start eying the floor space around your gun vault wondering if you could fit another one there along side it.
~you even had the thought " I wonder what scale that little kids Animal Crackers are, compared to Regulation silhouettes?"
~you carry pictures of all your guns with you at all times in order to show off your "babies".
~you spend more on ammo each month than on food.
~your guns are worth twice as much as your car.
~your guns are worth more than your house.
~you guess range and windage whenever you look at road signs.
~your driver's license says "must wear night-vision goggles"
~"Miller Time" means plinking at beer cans.
~the highlight of your week is discovering that 6 .40SW hollowpoints fit perfectly in a plastic 35mm film canister. (5 up/1 down in the middle).
~you retrofit a laser sight to your TV remote control.
~you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster".
~you drive 200 miles just to ogle (and fire) HK-MP5s (and Stens, Uzis, BMGs and whatever else shows up at Knob Creek)
~your guns are cleaner than your house/apartment.
~4 local gun shops know you by name.
~you're friends with 90%-100% of the employee's at every one of those shops.
~you can wallpaper your house with old issues of Shotgun News, Gun List, Guns & Ammo, etc...
~you bought 7 or more AK-47's just so you could have different ones from different countries (Bulgarian, Romanian, Russian, Yugoslavian, Egyptian, Chinese, etc.)
~your phone number, license plate, extension at work, etc. relates to some kind of bullet caliber...ON PURPOSE.
~you have framed targets hanging in your bathroom, hallway, etc. with tight groups that you have shot.
~you own enough guns to arm everyone on your block.
~you tell someone who can arm everyone on their block that they've made a "Good start on your collection."
~you'd rather have a $10,000 PSG-1 and drive a $600 car rather than drive a $10,000 car and have a $600 gun.
~you actually consider buying the camo sexy underwear advertised for your sweetie in some gun catalogs.
~you learn that in the house your buying someone committed suicide using a firearm and all you're interested in is the make, model, caliber and condition of the firearm that was used.
~your brothers-in-law only come to visit so they can shoot your guns.
~your gun dealer owes you $500 bucks rather than the other way around
~you take a dolly or hand truck with you to gun shows.
~you buy a gun safe much larger than you think you'll ever need and still fill it up.
~you need yet another safe for all of the ammunition.
~you have to structurally reinforce your house due to this hobby.
~when you talk about the best piece you ever had, if you mean a pistol.
~you spend more on the gun accessories than the gun.
~you know the cyclic rate of a 1928 over-stamp Thompson.
~you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's "Blue Press" before you ever notice the girl.
~the first thing you notice is that she is actually holding the gun correctly.
~you spend more than the cost of a new Glock to travel to the GSSF/Glock matches on the chance that you might win one as well as to shoot at someplace new and different.
~you never miss Monday Night Football because it is reloading night. That's because you went through a whole week's ammo the day before, while everyone else was home watching the regular Sunday games.
~you bought a barrel of Garand clips for the Garand you're going to buy.
~you bought a Mauser 98 barrel and are now looking for an action to which it can be fitted.
~you find a set of 8x57 dies and 3 boxes of brass for a good price and then spend $200 on a Persian Mauser and $99 on a Hakim to shoot the 8x57 reloads with.
~you have a Ruger M-77 in 7mm-08 because you had an excess 3X9 by 40 scope.
~you buy a used holster at a show for $5.00, and then spend a few hundred on a gun that fits it.
~you take your gun parts to work to do your customizing even though it may get you in trouble.
~you've ever conducted dry-fire practice while riding the porcelain pony.
~if your local dealer comes to your house to shoot rather than the local range.
~you buy a set of grips for a pistol that you hope to get in the future.
~the dealer knows what you collect and calls you whenever he gets something new in (a Mk IV .455 Webley or anything British).
~you were the only kid in the 8th grade who know how to field strip an MP40.
~you pick up even such useless items as .22 rimfire and steel Berdan primed military cases.
~you know they used those spent .22 cases for gilding material in swaged bullets during WWII.
~you stand next to shooters with semi-automatic firearms with a cardboard box, hoping to catch a few ejected empties.
~your basement looks like an ammo dump.
~your favorite euphemism for sex is "concealing the weapon," you just might be a gun nut.
You Might Be A Gun Nut If...
MOVIES
~you can't remember the plot of the last movie you saw, but you can name the model, caliber and finish of every firearm in the movie.
~you reflexively count the number of shots fired by every weapon in the film, then gripe to your friends when the actors exceed the magazine capacities.
~you watch The Matrix and wonder how they got Czech Skorpions to fire 5.56mm.
~it bothers you more when 007 runs out of ammo than when the BOND girl dies.
~your only criteria for renting a video is what guns it might have in it.
~while watching the movie "Terminator 2" you have to leave the room in tears and mournful sobs after Arnold Schwarzenegger throws the CAR-15 off the moving tractor trailer and it goes bouncing away~.
~your friends refuse to see ANY films containing firearms with you.
WIFE/FAMILY
~you have spent more on guns in the last 6 months than you did on your wife's engagement ring.
~your fiance didn't want a ring, she wanted an M1 carbine. And, you bought her one.
~you use a lathe to turn a nice ring from the appropriate size case. You engrave it with a few hearts and then nickel plate it and add gold inlay. She'll love you for having the "personal" touch, being careful with the family money, and from knowing you'll be able to keep her guns in tiptop shape.
~you let your wife go out and blow all kinds of money on junk she'll never use just so she won't gripe when you buy that latest piece you really need for your collection.
~your mother-in-law asks what new gun junk you want for Christmas this year.
~you have Trijicon Night-lights in your bedroom.
~your teenage daughter's next date is introduced to you while you're sitting at the loading bench cleaning your Browning 1919A4 machine gun.
~your wife wants to wear black leather so you buy her a carry holster.
~your gun safe cost more then your dining room set.
~you get rid of the microwave to make room for the brass tumbler.
~your kids want their guns color powder coated for Christmas, so you do.
~your wife/girlfriend starts using Hoppes No. 9 instead of perfume to get your attention.
~you use Hoppes No. 9 as a room or carpet freshener.
~you think a shotgun wedding is what happens when a fellow gets overly fond of his 12 gauge.
~your kid's huggies come in camo battlepacks.
~your wife threatened to leave you after finding 400 muddy shotshells soaking in the bathtub for the tenth time.
~you go to a marriage counselor, he asks you which you like better, shooting or sex, and you think it's the stupidest question you've ever heard.
GUN SHOP/GUN SHOW
~you buy a gun at a shop only to find out you used to own it a couple of years ago.
~the largest gun store in your area *calls* you if they need something they can't get elsewhere.
~when buying a new gun, you plead with your gun shop to keep it until you have space for it.
~factories ask *you* how well their guns hold up.
~you shoot enough Berdan-primed ammo that you are on a first-name basis with your local scrap metal dealer.
~you are on a first-name basis with every major tire shop owner within a 25-mile radius, for the lead.
~Keith Francis (at JGS, the chambering reamer company), answers your phone calls "What have you dreamed up *this* time?"
~you own a firearm listed in the Guinness book.
OTHER
~you put a Hogue Grip on your car's parking brake
~you use a .32-20 case for a pen cap.
~you know the difference between 5.56 and .223.
~you understood the previous reference and why it's so funny.
~every time one of your friends goes to buy a new gun they check with you first, since you've probably had one already, and because they know you have ammo and gun parts sitting around for guns you no longer own.
~at gun shows, dealers ask you to help them field strip guns they don't know about.
~if the Bible you read every night before bed is the Shooter's Bible.
~you take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.
~you wash your hands BEFORE taking a dump so you can take a piece of your collection in with you and not get salty sweat on the blue.
~you make $25 per hour at work, but spend 30 minutes on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of 40 S&W brass.
~you have to decide the difference between a gun nut and a firearms enthusiast? Is it 1,000 rounds per day or week?
~you could identify on sight all rifle bolt-faces as in - "that's a Ruger, that's a Savage, that's a Winchester .."
~you can identify gunshots from faraway as to caliber, whether from a rifle or pistol, brand of gun, grains of powder used, *what* powder and at what speed! Then you realize you can tell if it is blued or stainless.
~you work for the military and have more shooting experience then the guys in uniform you work with.
~you have a callus on your shoulder.
~you're in the National Guard, and they can't figure out why every time they send you out to shoot the M240B with 100 rounds, you return with a shot-out barrel. It never dawns on them you're bringing your own ammo.
~you have a bigger ammo budget than SEAL Team Six.
~you spend more time choosing which guns to bring with you on a trip, as well as holsters, and belts, than it does to pick out the clothes you will wear.
~you approach total strangers and ask if they're going to keep their brass.
~friends and family ask what you want for Christmas "Other than gun stuff."
~and you can't think of anything.
~you've ever run out of memory cards photographing your guns for insurance purposes.
~you try taking one big 'family photo' of your gun collection, but just can't fit them all in one frame.
~if you install a speed dialing device on your gun safe.
~you own a BAYONET for a gun you haven't bought yet.
~the custom door lock pulls on your Jeep are .223 Rem cases and the gear shift knob is a .50 BMG.
~you have guns in your safe that you can't for the life of you remember how you came by.
~you buy ammo when it's on sale, figuring you can buy a gun in that caliber later.
~years in history are inextricably linked to firearms development in your head. 1860... 1903... 1911... 1921... 1941... 1957... etc.
~when you hear "Winchester Cathedral", you think of the "church of shooting".
~you start wondering if you should spread out your ammo boxes to more evenly distribute the weight on the floor.
~you start eying the floor space around your gun vault wondering if you could fit another one there along side it.
~you even had the thought " I wonder what scale that little kids Animal Crackers are, compared to Regulation silhouettes?"
~you carry pictures of all your guns with you at all times in order to show off your "babies".
~you spend more on ammo each month than on food.
~your guns are worth twice as much as your car.
~your guns are worth more than your house.
~you guess range and windage whenever you look at road signs.
~your driver's license says "must wear night-vision goggles"
~"Miller Time" means plinking at beer cans.
~the highlight of your week is discovering that 6 .40SW hollowpoints fit perfectly in a plastic 35mm film canister. (5 up/1 down in the middle).
~you retrofit a laser sight to your TV remote control.
~you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster".
~you drive 200 miles just to ogle (and fire) HK-MP5s (and Stens, Uzis, BMGs and whatever else shows up at Knob Creek)
~your guns are cleaner than your house/apartment.
~4 local gun shops know you by name.
~you're friends with 90%-100% of the employee's at every one of those shops.
~you can wallpaper your house with old issues of Shotgun News, Gun List, Guns & Ammo, etc...
~you bought 7 or more AK-47's just so you could have different ones from different countries (Bulgarian, Romanian, Russian, Yugoslavian, Egyptian, Chinese, etc.)
~your phone number, license plate, extension at work, etc. relates to some kind of bullet caliber...ON PURPOSE.
~you have framed targets hanging in your bathroom, hallway, etc. with tight groups that you have shot.
~you own enough guns to arm everyone on your block.
~you tell someone who can arm everyone on their block that they've made a "Good start on your collection."
~you'd rather have a $10,000 PSG-1 and drive a $600 car rather than drive a $10,000 car and have a $600 gun.
~you actually consider buying the camo sexy underwear advertised for your sweetie in some gun catalogs.
~you learn that in the house your buying someone committed suicide using a firearm and all you're interested in is the make, model, caliber and condition of the firearm that was used.
~your brothers-in-law only come to visit so they can shoot your guns.
~your gun dealer owes you $500 bucks rather than the other way around
~you take a dolly or hand truck with you to gun shows.
~you buy a gun safe much larger than you think you'll ever need and still fill it up.
~you need yet another safe for all of the ammunition.
~you have to structurally reinforce your house due to this hobby.
~when you talk about the best piece you ever had, if you mean a pistol.
~you spend more on the gun accessories than the gun.
~you know the cyclic rate of a 1928 over-stamp Thompson.
~you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's "Blue Press" before you ever notice the girl.
~the first thing you notice is that she is actually holding the gun correctly.
~you spend more than the cost of a new Glock to travel to the GSSF/Glock matches on the chance that you might win one as well as to shoot at someplace new and different.
~you never miss Monday Night Football because it is reloading night. That's because you went through a whole week's ammo the day before, while everyone else was home watching the regular Sunday games.
~you bought a barrel of Garand clips for the Garand you're going to buy.
~you bought a Mauser 98 barrel and are now looking for an action to which it can be fitted.
~you find a set of 8x57 dies and 3 boxes of brass for a good price and then spend $200 on a Persian Mauser and $99 on a Hakim to shoot the 8x57 reloads with.
~you have a Ruger M-77 in 7mm-08 because you had an excess 3X9 by 40 scope.
~you buy a used holster at a show for $5.00, and then spend a few hundred on a gun that fits it.
~you take your gun parts to work to do your customizing even though it may get you in trouble.
~you've ever conducted dry-fire practice while riding the porcelain pony.
~if your local dealer comes to your house to shoot rather than the local range.
~you buy a set of grips for a pistol that you hope to get in the future.
~the dealer knows what you collect and calls you whenever he gets something new in (a Mk IV .455 Webley or anything British).
~you were the only kid in the 8th grade who know how to field strip an MP40.
~you pick up even such useless items as .22 rimfire and steel Berdan primed military cases.
~you know they used those spent .22 cases for gilding material in swaged bullets during WWII.
~you stand next to shooters with semi-automatic firearms with a cardboard box, hoping to catch a few ejected empties.
~your basement looks like an ammo dump.
~your favorite euphemism for sex is "concealing the weapon," you just might be a gun nut.
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